Well, this place is even more boring than Fatstuff's town. Some shifty-looking guy, who keeps trying to stand in front of some crates whenever someone walks by, and a handful of goons next to him. Another man, who stinks a bit… he's loading stuff on a cart. Finally, the guy Mistress is talking to – something about a boat. I guess the Mages must be out in that big tower across the lake… Falis, Morrie called it.

"… He's not sure" Mistress tells us when she comes back, "but something might have happened over there. The Templars have seized his ferry."

"It can't be that serious" Crybaby claims. "I think I recognise the Templar at the jetty… he's an idiot, honestly."

"And yet he passed training when you failed" Morrie points out.

"I didn't fail, I was recruited…" Excuses, excuses.

"So you say… and you suppose you would have made a less idiotic apprentice than him?"

He looks annoyed, but forces a smile. "Perhaps… or I would have become a drooling lunatic, and slaughtered the Grand Cleric before running through Denerim in my smalls."

"That does seem more likely – a rare moment of self-awareness, in fact."

"I thought you would like that…" he mutters, shutting up when Qunatic gives both of them a frustrated glare.

"What is our next move, then?"

Mistress motions to the water. "I didn't march across half the Bannorn, and fight off a cell of Crows, to not get this fucking treaty upheld. I'm going over there, and I'll nail it up next to the Knight-Commander's lavatory if that's what it takes to be sure he reads it." Nail it up high, then… we don't want him thinking it's for wiping. Exhaling, she points at Morrie. "Regardless… you should probably stay here. We'll get done quicker, if we don't have to listen to them carry on about apostates."

"I shall stay near those dwarves, and make sure they do not try to sell your belongings" Morrie says, trying to sound disinterested as the others walk away. Mistress gives her usual fake-salute-thing to Morrie, as we go to leave… but Morrie quickly stops her. "… I have a thought."

… Well, if it required getting rid of the others, this'll probably be Girl Talk. I'll go keep an eye on them. Better be quick, too; sounds like Crybaby's arguing with the idiot he mentioned.

"… Then why aren't you a woman?" he asks as I approach. Um… what?! That was a stupid thing to say… even for Crybaby.

"Don't question royalty!" … This idiot's royalty?! From one of the stupid countries, maybe… but why would he be guarding a dock, then? Wait, if he's royalty… his hair looks a bit like Crybaby's…both had Templar training… and they're both idiots… oh no, we've found his long-lost twin, haven't we?! Shit…. "Anyway… nice chatting with you. On your way."

Mistress finally approaches. "What's going on?" You wouldn't believe me if I told you…

"Her Majesty needs the boat for the return to Antiva, apparently" Crybaby groans. Do you… have an aversion to making sense? Mistress stares at him for a moment, before turning to the smirking Twin.

"I don't even care what this is about; just show him the scroll so we can cross."

"I take it you're a Grey Warden too? Prove it!"

Her forehead scrunches up, and her shoulders tighten. Here we go… "Read the scroll" Mistress coldly suggests.

"Ah, a Grey Warden seal! So you're claiming to be one of those!"

… Amazing. This idiot's even more annoying than his brother. I didn't think that could happen.

"I'm too tired for this bullshit" Mistress hisses to herself.

"And I'm too hungry for yours" Twin replies, gesturing to the road. "So long."

"What if we bring you some food? Could we discuss this properly, then?" Chirpy asks with forced politeness. Forgot she was even there…

He starts considering it, before Qunatic steps forward. "Parshaara! Here, munch on these if you like!" he barks, slamming the cookie sack into Twin's hand.

"Ooh, cookies!" he grins, pulling one out.

"… If it saves us from this fool" Qunatic mumbles, watching Twin stuff his face.

"Yummy" Twin says, spitting out a few crumbs. Finish eating before you talk, you slob! "We can go across now, if you really want?" Finally we go across! "Oh…" he stops. "I don't think Kester's boat will fit you all. The big boat's still being fixed after that escapee… Johann, I think, steered it into rocks when he tried to cross."

Mistress looks at everyone. "Sten, maybe you can look for… what we talked about, while I take care of this?"

Qunatic nods. "Very well… this place does seem familiar."

We push off from the docks, and slowly sail towards the Falis Tower. "Sten is searching for something?" Chirpy asks after a few minutes silence.

"He thinks they got ambushed near here… there's something he needs back" Mistress says.

"I'm just surprised he had those cookies" Crybaby shrugs.

"He probably bought them at some point" Mistress replies. Well… not quite. "He did say he liked them…"

"Sten? He talked long enough to tell you that… and he actually likes something?"

"After one of his complaints, I asked what he did like about Ferelden. Cookies."

"He has good taste" Twin interjects. "Especially for a heathen. I haven't tasted any that good for a long time!"

"He's not as gruff as he seems, I suspect" Chirpy says. "I accidentally caught him picking flowers a few days ago… he insists they were medicinal, but I don't remember the ones he had being useful for anything."

Huh… I wonder if he has any of those weird herbs Morrie had. I better check his stuff when we get back; make sure he isn't holding out on me. He'll probably start hiding his cookies too, after having to give them to Twin.


We go inside… and there's plenty of Templars. Just standing about. I guess there's no problem here, after all. This one must be important, though; he's not wearing an uncomfortable looking helmet like the others. "Now we wait, and pray" No-Helmet mutters, as he notices us.

"Knight-Commander?" Mistress asks, with a quick bow.

"… I explicitly told Carroll not to bring anybody across the lake. Whoever you are, you must leave for your own safety!"

"My safety is hardly important" Mistress replies. "And I cannot leave without your agreement to supply battle mages."

"The Circle's fate hangs in the balance, and we must remain to here… not get caught up in this civil war" No-Helmet says, frustrated. Looking equally weary, Mistress hands over the scroll. "… You will find no allies here, Warden. We are no longer in control of the Tower. Abominations and demons roam the halls."

Mistress walks away, and drops down against a corner of the room. I can see the thoughts spinning about behind her eyes, as she debates something with herself. After asking No-Helmet questions at random points, she gets back up. "I'm going in there… is there a special knock, or something, if I come back with living Mages?"

"I'll only accept the First Enchanter's word, that things are safe." That's stupid – what if he's dead? What if he broke his jaw and can't talk? Did you Tin-Heads even think this through? … What if a demon copies his voice, and says open the door?!

"…So be it" Mistress replies. She glances at the looks on Crybaby and Chirpy as they approach. "If you aren't sure, stay here. It's probably better if you do, Alistair."

"… Are you sure?" he asks.

"As much as I can be, these days… we'll need Mages. That's the important thing. Going into battle without help will get us killed, while going into the Tower is just a probably. If we're going to die either way, let's just get it over with quickly."

"… I can't tell if you're joking."

She's joking, idiot. You know you're not going to die, Mistress. Right?

"The Templars-" Chirpy beings, before Mistress shakes her head.

"Are just more inexperienced swords, against the Darkspawn. We need magic more… and Gregoir's tactical response was to shut the door, and allow everything inside time to rest and fortify their advantage." Taking a breath, she puts a hand on both their shoulders. "We're at war. I need people who will actually help. The treaty is only with the Mages… even if we asked the Templars instead. Gregoir will probably do what he's doing now: ignore the situation until the Grand Cleric tells him what to do." She looks at Chirpy. "No offense, but after your Revered Mother shut the door on us, I'm not expecting much help from the Chantry."

"… I understand. If you think this is best, I will follow you."

"Well, I'm not going to do nothing or get left behind again" Crybaby tells Mistress. "Besides, you'll need my training against what's in there."

You don't even need to ask me, so let's get this done!


The doors slam closed behind us, and I hear them click as we carefully walk down a hallway. Look how high they made the ceilings! Hopefully that means there isn't a lot of stairways to climb… when I first saw how big the Tower was, I was worried. But it looks like they just made the floors real tall, to exaggerate the size of Falis. Voices up ahead! Mistress motions, and we approach the next room carefully. There's a small group of people, scattered around the chamber. A burning thing comes wandering into the room from the other side… screeching and crackling, as little embers fall off it. So is this a demon, or a bommination?

Whatever it is, they're ready for it. Someone spins a stick, and does a weird hand-thing… oh sweet, we've found more mages like Morrie! Do the magic, and show this stupid thing who's in charge!

It splutters and dies, and the new mage seems to take a moment to get their breath back. Lady, after that brilliant thing you did, take your time. That was so amazing, you need a name! She turns about, while I'm thinking. I'm gonna call you- "It's you!" -Old Biddy?! Of all the people… damn it. "Come no further, or I will strike you down!" … I'm guessing that means she's possessed. Can we kill her now?

Apparently not, because Mistress quickly calms the stupid woman down. Keep an eye on her… While they're talking, I hear something beside me. Thankfully, not the crazy looking woman – she's staying in her corner, babbling about Blessid and Draste… I hear it again. Oh, it's just the kids. Looks like they aren't sure about approaching me. Maybe later… I better make sure Old Biddy isn't planning to pour foulness down anyone's throat again.

"Before we go, Wynne" Mistress whispers. "That one, praying over there… she looks like she's ready to shove a fork in someone's eye. Should we really leave her with the children?"

"Keili… she's always been a little troubled" another Mage says.

"Especially after this. Petra, do keep an eye on her" Old Biddy says.

Mistress quickly looks over at the babbling woman again. "Hmm… Al. I think you better stay here. Drop her, if she tries anything."

"But-" he tries to argue.

"It's also better if we don't both go. If things go wrong, there'll be a Warden left… and if the Templars barge in early, you speak their language. Talk them down from slaughtering this lot – we'll at least have some mages available. "

"… I understand. But if anyone should go in, shouldn't it be me? I've got my Templar training, after all."

She looks unsure. Just say yes, Mistress! Leave the dangerous… monster things to him! "No… hopefully we'll find some surviving Templars too." She pauses, warily. "…Also, you might be needed if the Bannorn have their way." Whatever that means, it just angers him further.

"I see…you are just like everyone else. It's not enough I have to be the back-up Warden…" Crybaby huffs, leaning back against the wall.

"Alistair…"

"No, I get it. Really. You better hurry, and find the First Enchanter while there's time" he waves her off. "I'll just stay here, and make sure nobody steals the good silverware."

Mistress sighs, and turns back to Old Biddy. "Alright… you're ready?"

She nods, and makes the glowy stuff in the doorway disappear. "I'm amazed I kept it up this long." Oh, shut up. It wasn't even that impressive, if the burning thing could just float right through it! I bet Morrie's barrier would have stopped it dead!

We begin walking, and I look back at the arch. She's not going to put it back, when we go? … Maybe she has to keep it in eyesight, to hold it. Oh well… I'm sure nothing too bad can happen in here.


Poor Max - he has enough trouble telling humans apart, without running into similar models like Jory/Hanric and Alistair/Carroll.

Thanks to everyone reading, following, etc. And Taisenokami, Melysande and Gabby for the reviews. I half-expected to get roasted for poor Zev, but thankfully not... so I suppose the wrong message I can take is: kill more favourite characters.