Notes: Thank you as always for comments, support, etc.~ I apologize for lacking in responding and lacking in updating my writings ;u; Got stuff happening that is making feel down VoV

Chapter 12: Scarred

Elsword knew this feeling all too well as it crept up his leg and straight into his chest like a snake: fear. The feeling kept on rewinding but no matter how deep or many times it repeated itself, Elsword still felt indifference. His body knew that it had to flee and so did his instincts. But, his mind had become numb from the many alerts he received from his physical self over the years and in the end, it gave itself over to acceptance. So, he just stood there staring at the malicious figure walking towards him in the cold soaking rain.

"...Remember me...?" The abusive caretaker from long ago asked in a hoarse voice once he was a foot away from Elsword.

Emptiness occupied Elsword inside and he couldn't find the motivation to speak. Despite being all wet himself, his throat was dry. Half of him knew who this person was and half of him wanted to disbelieve it. Was this...a dream? He wanted to believe that this was some kind of sick nightmare. After all...how could this person find them here when they had traveled so far?

The person searched Elsword's dull eyes for some kind of reaction but found none. "...Tell me...Where's Ain?"

At the mention of Ain, Elsword blinked a few times and came into focus. '...Ain? ...Ain...Ain!' Elsword screamed within his mind. The seriousness of the situation rolled him over with a heavy boulder and he found himself taking a few steps back. He couldn't let this person find him. He darted his eyes around looking for a way to escape. The previous event blew out of his head. What was important now was that Ain was safe.

"...Not going to answer? That's fine...I'm not after him right now...Rather...I was looking for you," The person seethed as they drew a knife that glistened in the rain and streetlights. The darkness and the red illumination portrayed an eerie, creepy, and terror filled vibe. At this, Elsword turned and ran.

Where to go? Elsword also had to be careful for the slipperiness. He dashed into alleyways and clambered up fences and walls trying to lose this person but every time he looked back, that person was right on his tail. He reached a ladder attached to a fire escape and climbed it. His foot slipped on one of the rungs and his heart felt as if lurched out of his throat. The person grabbed his ankle and yanked him down to the dirty alleyway floor. Elsword's back felt numb from the impact of the floor. He tried to blink away the constant raindrops that fell upon his eyes and face. In the blur he could see the glistening knife hoovering over him.

"...You're in the way...So if I can just get rid of you...Ain will be under my control..." The person murmured.

The fear broke through like a spear through glass. This time, Elsword became aware of how his heart beat fast, his breath shortening, and the terror at the thought of what would happen to Ain if himself was gone. The person was squatting above him giving Elsword room to reach into his pocket to retrieve his pocket knife. He stabbed the person's leg and maneuvered underneath them. The person cried out in pain, cursed and whipped around to stab Elsword who in return dodged but slipped and fell onto the floor. Elsword rolled to the side and got up. The person swung wild hoping to strike him. Each swing was dodged until the person threw the knife, unexpected, and made a slash on Elsword's cheek. This surprised Elsword at that fraction of a second which gave an opening for the person to pounce on him, knock him onto the floor, and wring their hands around Elsword's neck.

The person laughed. "...Now...now you can't get away...I'll tell you something...something before you die...But first you're wondering how did I find you, yes?" Elsword's left hand scratched the pavement. He could still breathe but it was difficult to do so. The person's hands felt as if they were searing into his neck. Elsword's mind stuck upon trying to find a way to survive. "...Your buddies...they found me and told me about you...And how and why they found me...was thanks to a purple haired little girl. After a little chat with them, I was supposed to dispose of cute little Ain. But of course, I don't want that. And since they had an idea of where you went, all it took was just some time, some planning, and well look here now...here you are...about to die in my hands. How lovely, isn't it?"

So the gang sold him out to this maniac. Elsword would have laughed if he wasn't about to die. The memory of his sister's own hands around his neck wafted by. His right hand gripped his knife. This person was too engrossed with killing him to notice it. He held back a little longer to hear the rest of what this person was going to say.

"As for the secret..." The person leaned down and whispered into Elsword's ear. The sentence he uttered sent a cold chill down Elsword's spine. "...I killed Ishmael." Elsword's eyes widened with a tinge of shock and stupor. But soon, a heated rage flared within Elsword.

"...So...it...was your fault..." Elsword rasped. The person's grip lightened a little in surprise at Elsword's speaking. Elsword then took this moment to grind his knife into the person's left hand. The person howled, releasing his grip. Elsword squirmed under the person's weight, trying to stab any space he saw. The person scrambled off and searched for their knife. Something dark and brooding cloaked Elsword's heart as he glared at the person. Without giving them a chance, Elsword lunged himself at them and began cutting, slashing and stabbing everywhere on that person's body. The rage and anger boiled and burned until it burst forth like a long dormant volcano erupting after so long of a slumber. "...It's your fault...YOUR FAULT THAT AIN IS SUFFERING!" He shrilled into the thick night rain. His shrill rang upon deaf ears. Elsword felt the person's hand brush against his knee. As a final measure, Elsword heaved his knife straight into the person's heart. The hand fell splat onto the cold concrete. Elsword's breath was heavy and his hands trembled. Pale stains of pink clung onto Elsword's clothes and slight muddy smudges marked his face, hair and skin that poked out from his clothes. He broke from his trance and gazed before him. His heart froze. "...What have I done...?" The rain washed the blood away in a continuous fall but the color still remained. That sickening red color's stench clung upon the dead body, the knife, and Elsword's hands. Elsword shuffled back and away. He couldn't tear his eyes off of what he had just done. The horror overtook him and he got up and ran away screaming. It was clear what had happened but yet it felt so unclear. Elsword wasn't sure how long he was running or where he was. Exhaustion enveloped him and he slumped against a wall sobbing. Then, he became silent and dull, staring at nothing before him.

-/-/-

After moments of rumination, something dawned upon Ain. Puzzle pieces clicked together after such a long time. The guilt tore through Ain's chest and pulled him up on his feet. But also, a strange icky unsettling feeling coated his heart. What was this queasy aura that seemed to be flowing through Ain's stomach and heart? Everything in his mind lay in a messy array of items. He couldn't grasp what that "something" was. All he knew was that he must find Elsword. Ain's feet stood glued to the floor. Could...things be fixed? Wouldn't it be awkward? Elsword's words echoed within his head: 'I love you, Ain! And I'll never stop loving you...Even if you don't want me, even if you don't love me back. I never abandoned you, and I never will!"' Elsword loved him...Elsword loved him! Of course he'll accept him. Of course everything would be okay. Aisha's words faded into the abyss. Ain shook his head at himself for being so silly thinking that things were irreparable. Since when did Elsword ever shown him disgust or left him? Never. Elsword would come back to him yet, this time, Ain felt that it was his turn to go to Elsword. Right now, that's what Ain wanted the most. He wanted to be right by his side; now and always. It wasn't a matter of need anymore. Ain wanted. Ain desired. That tiny burning flame began to grow. He needed to apologize. He needed to make it up to Elsword. All the little details, all the moments, all the time... "...I was blind..." Ain muttered into the air. In particular, the moments of warmth and comfort Elsword gave him stood prominent in his memories. "...I just couldn't let go..." An image of Ishmael appeared in his mind. Ain reached out to it but halted himself. Behind him, Elsword stood smiling, encouraging him to go on towards Ishmael. But Ain saw the sadness in his eyes. If Ishmael appeared again...would he go back to her? She left them, though. Ain couldn't remember receiving any affection. She did take care of him, yes...but what was this somewhat hollow feeling? Ain thought back to when they left their home. If Elsword was here, Ain knew what he would do; He would continue walking forward. It was time for Ain to leave things behind. And this time, everything, so that he could look forward too. And maybe...just maybe he could see the same light Elsword was seeing. He turned away from the image of Ishmael in his mind and walked, no, ran the other way.

Ain drew in a deep breath and sprinted out of the hotel into the drenched streets. Physical activity was not his forte and he found himself soon short of breath. Ain roamed everywhere, searching for Elsword in the pouring rain. Elsword was the only thing in his mind at that moment. Ain was desperate to find him, to hold him. That tear stained hurt face ached his chest. Ain stared ahead of him and he forgot to breathe as he saw Elsword slumped against a wall. He rushed over, slipping once, but clambered up again until he reached him.

"Elsword!...Elsword!" Ain cried out in shortened breaths. Ain took Elsword's face into his hands, sweeping away the damp bangs that clung to his face. He gazed into those crimson eyes that allured him only to find them almost lifeless. Ain noticed mud, injuries, and a metal like smell clinging onto Elsword. "...I am sorry...Elsword...please forgive me...Elsword...This really is all my fault...Elsword..." Ain held him tight but felt no warmth. The icy piercing rain didn't help either. Ain felt exasperated and desired that his feelings reach Elsword. But, he felt as if they were hitting a wall. This may be all his fault but Ain knew that running wasn't the answer. For Elsword, even though Ain was a problem, never ran away from him. Elsword...was always there. Always. Elsword had wanted him. "...Elsword...I want to feel...I want to understand... I want to be with you...I want to love you..." Ain spilled everything he could. Even he himself was still so confused. This feeling, he couldn't place. All he knew was that he just wanted to be with Elsword. Ain gazed back into Elsword's eyes but saw no reaction. He bit his lip and hauled Elsword into his arms. The task was a bit difficult but not impossible.

The cold seeped into Ain's bones. His bangs obscured his vision and he had to eye the sidewalk to make sure he didn't misstep. It took him about two hours before he found the hotel again. As he made his way towards their room, a trail of water dampened the carpet after him. Once in their room, Ain placed Elsword into the tub. His arms ached from carrying Elsword for so long. Ain wondered how he even mustered enough strength to do it. Perhaps it was his sheer will to do anything he could for Elsword.

Ain's first thought was to give Elsword a bath. Ain himself shed off his clothes for he too needed a bath. "...Elsword?" Ain whispered as if he were afraid Elsword would scold him. But no reply came. Ain passed his hand in front of Elsword's vision. It was as if Elsword was far off somewhere. There was no use asking. It'll be okay, right? They took baths together before when they were young. Ain swept his bangs aside and kneeled to remove Elsword's clothes and plopped them onto the tile floor. Ain gasped and his eyes widened as he saw the state of Elsword's body. It had been a long while since he saw Elsword naked. Before Elsword's body had been pure, clean, and soft. Now, it lay desecrated with many long huge and small scars. His body was not too different from Ain's; marred and scathed. Ain saw hints of these wounds before, but never had he thought that it decorated Elsword's whole body. Ain turned away and twisted the water on, fumbling trying to make it warm like Elsword always did. After a satisfactory warmth of water, Ain let it run and stepped into the tub sitting down behind Elsword. Elsword's back had the most scars. With a trembling hand, Ain trailed his hands and fingers gentle over the past wounds. The skin's ridges formed rough bumps under his touch. His hands wandered over to Elsword's arms. He slid his hand under one of them and halted when he felt scars upon Elsword's wrists. Ain's grip tightened. "...Elsword..." Ain held Elsword tight as genuine soft tears escaped Ain's eyes. As Ain felt all those scars, it felt as if Ain was getting to know Elsword for the first time. Each one of them held a memory, a story; A memory and story that Ain found himself desiring to know. A new emotion injected itself into Ain as he began to feel a miniscule bubble of anger along with his pangs of sorrow. Ain's ill skin was something that couldn't be prevented. But these painful wounds that healed into a permanent portrait of reminders could have; They all could have evaporated but yet they sat there as if someone loved to draw the same thing over and over so much that even if it were erased, a faded color would still be left behind. Who did this? Ain cursed his illness at that moment. He could have done something. He could have changed things. He could have realized that Elsword loved him sooner... "...Elsword...I...this feeling...I think I understand a little...I...You are something to me...you are...everything to me too...because...you are all I have...you are all I need...you are all I want, Elsword." Elsword gave no response nor did he move. "...I am really sorry...please forgive me..." The room remained silent except for the running water. The tears kept flowing and seeping into Elsword's hair. Ain continued to hold him tight. "...Elsword..."