"So lonely am I
My body is a floating weed
Severed at the roots.
Were there water to entice me,
I would follow it, I think."
- Komachi (834 - 880), Japanese poet.
Kokinshu
At the Children's locker room, Kaworu Nagisa was in the shower, letting the warm water splash on his head and to ease the ache from the day's near-catastrophe in the Eva testing facility. With hands pushed against the wall, head bowed downward, he was also thinking and recalling those images and voices in his mind.
In fact, he was seeing things and experiences from Rei's point of view.
He could see a completely bandaged right arm and an eye patch as Rei looked at herself in the mirror (Is this her home? Kaworu told himself, noticing that her room was dimly-lit and somewhat grimy). She then turned to the left and walked towards the cabinet containing her clothes, and on top was a bunch of thick books and an eyeglass case.
Rei opened the case and took out the glasses, which were cracked and had a slightly-worn look. She held them in her palm and then caressed the gold-rimmed frame as if she was trying to remember the time they were given to her (Whose glasses are those? They look familiar… Only someone use such eyeglasses. Do they belong to the Commander?).
Teardrops fell from Rei's cheeks, spattering the lenses.
Kaworu suddenly shut off the shower with a twist, and sat onto the tiled floor. He was now blinking, trying to go deeper to seek more of her thoughts.
Another image from Rei's life: sitting on a bench, under the afternoon sun, she was reading what appeared to be an impenetrable treatise on molecular biology, all written in German. The First Children wasn't fazed by the text, as if she was comfortably reading a paperback novel, when a shadow blotted out the pages.
Rei turned to confront the blatant intruder of her personal space. It was a girl in a uniform just like hers, alert blue eyes and long red hair with color-matched interface headsets. Behind that girl was a growing crowd of Tokyo-3 Junior High School students, watching the newcomer with great interest as if it the tableau was a soap opera being played out.
It's Pilot Soryu, Kaworu told himself.
"Hello!" Asuka greeted, perky and cheerful. "You must be Rei Ayanami, the pilot of the Unit Zero Prototype. I'm Asuka! Asuka Langley Souryu. I'm the pilot of Eva Unit Two. Let's be good friends!"
"Why?" Rei questioned as if her reading pleasure was gravely disrupted. The red eyes narrowed.
Asuka grinned. "Because it'd be so convenient for both of us," she replied, "as we're in the same business."
There was a tense moment of silence as Rei pondered for an appropriate response.
"If I am ordered to, I will," she answered blankly, and returned to pick up where she was interrupted. She could also hear Asuka make a loud remark: "Talk about strange. Why?"
"That is all I can say," Rei answered without leaving her eyes from the book.
Kaworu shook his head and stood up, pulling a towel from the rack. As he dried himself, the next thing he will have to do is to keep an eye on Rei, presently unconscious in Room 300 at the Infirmary.
NEON GENESIS EVANGELION
LIGHT AND WATER – SEASON 2
CHAPTER 12: REI IN JONAH'S WHALE
An alternate path fanfiction by soulassassin547
Written on 3/10/2010 3:34 a3/p3
In her unconscious state, Rei imagined she was naked, in a deep ocean, sinking slowly into abyssal depths, the only bluish-white light somehow emanating from her body, illuminating a cliff face. She couldn't move her limbs, but her eyes seeing only that rocky blue cliff and the darkness beyond her.
Where am I going down to? Rei pondered. Why am I here for?
Bubble streamed from her mouth, but there was no sensation of drowning, as the water felt more like it was LCL enriched with oxygen. There was nothing except for her existence, until she heard a strange, deep cry from the bluish darkness.
It wasn't human at all.
Nor an Angel or something, as a hulking shadow or three slowly stood out. They were long and huge, with their flukes slowly pushing them forward. She could now recognize their shapes.
Whales. I have read or heard about them somewhere... Maybe in school?
Why I am thinking of whales?
Is this my imagination?
They were engaged in a very complex conversation in deep, basso calls, almost loud enough to be heard thousands of kilometers away. As Rei's illumination shone light on the whales, they were a family of humpbacks, the largest of their kind.
One of those whales seemed to be staring at her with interest, but Rei wasn't sure how she could approach these creatures. Maybe she could reach out to their skin with a hand, so suddenly she was able to do it and touch the whale closest to her.
The huge creature responded with a soothing, long and low voice, the sound echoing against the cliff wall and scattering to other directions.
With growing curiosity, Rei kicked her legs to go near, and she was close enough to try caressing its skin. She couldn't tell what was in the whale's mind as she petted it, but the creature didn't seem to mind, contented with her presence.
The smaller of the whales swam beneath her, as if it wanted to interact.
Then a thought crept into Rei, and she could imagine Shinji's face swimming into view, speaking to her.
"Why are you doing this?" Shinji asked.
The scene changed into where she was wearing a Plug Suit, sitting on a tall scaffold standing besides Unit-00. She could see the moon above the horizon in its full shining glory; to her left, Shinji was a few meters away, also sitting on his own platform besides Unit-01. He was looking at her right in the eyes.
"Because it is my bond," Rei answered.
Shinji frowned in wonderment. "A bond?"
"Yes, it is a bond. But..."
"This is a bond to my father?"
"It is to all other people."
Shinji smiled, apparently in admiration for what he percieved as erudition.
"I... You're strong, Ayanami."
Rei shook her head slowly. "I have nothing else."
Shinji blinked. "You have nothing else? But why?"
The blue-haired girl glanced at the watch on her wrist, the digits displaying 11:59 PM. "It is time," Rei announced. "We must go now, but I have to say goodbye."
The scene dissolved into darkness, replacing with only her with the humpbacks swimming close for contact.
Goodbye, Rei thought. For I can be replaced when I die?
For a moment she could see Kaworu's face, gazing downward at her, his face displaying concern but reassuring. His red eyes told her of his sympathy.
I do not know now, but as I have seen his face it means that I am alive, that it also seems I could even remember almost everything. I existed because...
Not because for the Commander needs me, but because of Nagisa.
No, I cannot return yet.
I do not understand, except this time I need Nagisa.
Because I feel blind; I have forgotten. Lost memories, helpless, useless, worthless; I am supposed to die and be replaced...
No, Rei disagreed. There is something in Nagisa that has kept me alive…
His kindness, that openness, the understanding.
Commander Ikari's face appeared, seemingly unsympathetic to all others except before her presence.
Are those actions also present in the Commander?
I do not know.
Rei imagined Commander Ikari standing before Shinji, cowering on the floor in total fear as the older man glared with complete indifference to the boy's mumbling not to run away.
I do not even know what kind of person the Commander truly is, although Ikari is too afraid of him.
But this scene dimmed away as another was suddenly illuminated, of Kaworu standing before her, smiling softly with arms wide open. He spoke:
"If anything happens to you, I'll be there at your side."
The Kaworu Nagisa in her mind nodded.
"Trust me on this; I'm ready for you… so try to be at least strong."
Then everything dimmed around Rei, the dream world fading into nothing.
At the Data Analysis Room in Central Dogma, they were all reviewing the data acquired during the failed mutual compatibility test. Makoto Hyuga was in control of the room's largest analysis workstation, which resembled a soup-up version of a professional video-editing suite; it consisted of a very powerful computer with massive hard drives and multiple display monitors. Behind him was Misato, Shinji, Natsumi Odani and Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki, all of them were looking at the monitors displaying the data in separate sections.
Every Eva test is recorded into a fully-digitized log file which included the following information: video, audio and data (locomotor, vital signs, sync rate, LCL condition, bioelectrical activity, etc.) streams obtained from remote sensors and cameras present in the Entry Plug, the pilot's Plug Suit, the Eva (or any of the simulation bodies) and the control room; the video streams even have their own timestamps and the camera location.
However, at the moment, Shinji had little to say except he was trying to catch onto what the others were talking about; some of the technobabble was beyond his comprehension, let alone for the fact that Unit-01 finally went south on Rei.
"Okay," Misato said. "Let's see what we have in there."
Fuyutsuki and Natsumi nodded, as Makoto pressed the Play button on the control console.
For the first minute everything appeared to be normal. Rei was waiting patiently as the LCL filled up her Entry Plug, and the data showed everything in a typical startup routine: a slow rise in figures as the lines climbed.
Then at the critical point of attempting to clear the Borderline, on the video streams Unit-01 tore off the arm restraints while Rei was suddenly caught in a seizure, mouth wide open as if she wanted to scream, her hands apparently trying to hold her neck as though she was being strangled. At the same point the EEG and ECG graphs showed a sharp increase in brain and heart activity, almost beyond tolerance; LCL oxygen levels dropped sharply with a corresponding increase in LCL internal pressure.
"Pause it right there, Lieutenant," Natsumi Odani ordered Makoto. "It looks likes psychological contamination, but this one's different. We've never seen anything like this before."
Misato frowned. "How can you be sure that this is a different case?"
"It appears that there's very high activity in the hippocampus, which concerns about long-term memory," Natsumi said, pointing out the displayed EEG graph.
Natsumi let her hand hold her chin, thinking. "We'll need more data to be sure if this is the case, especially the previous compatibility test logs, but to make it simple I think Unit One may have forced whatever information into Ayanami's brain."
Misato turned to Sub-Commander Fuyutsuki, who was silently watching most of the time. "Sir, what do you think?" she asked.
"Play it again," Fuyutsuki commanded, and Makoto rewound and played the digital log file once more. This time he was focusing on the cameras overlooking the control room and the test chamber. While Unit-01 was blasting the windows with her fists, each punch appeared to be directed at Commander Ikari.
"I'm not sure what caused this to happen, but looks like the Eva's angry at him," he remarked. "Why he didn't move an inch?"
Makoto shrugged. "I don't know, sir," he answered. "We rushed out just as hell broke loose, except the Commander stayed on to watch. I told him to get out but he didn't. I suppose that he's remembering what happened months ago, when Unit Zero went berserk on us."
"I see," Fuyutsuki said before he turned to Natsumi. "Just as you said that this is an unusual case of contamination, you know diagnostic tests will be appropriate."
"I did," Natsumi confirmed. "I put her through an MRI scan immediately after ER treatment."
Fuyutsuki nodded. "Good. While you're at it, as I'm sure you also have the necessary clearances, try to see if there are any previous cases involving the First Children's brain activity."
"Yes, sir," Natsumi agreed.
As the others went on talking, Misato approached Shinji and told him, "While we're trying to unscrew this mess, maybe you should try visiting Ayanami downstairs," she suggested. "I think this is the right time to make up for all the trouble between you and her," she added, referring to his soul-tearing dilemma after the Dummy Plug Plant incident.
Shinji nodded. "O... Okay, I'll do," he responded. "I don't think I'll have something worthwhile to do here."
Once the Third Children left them alone, Fuyutsuki focused on Misato. "Should we ever get stumped on this one," he said. "I have someone in mind who can easily give us some answers."
This time Rei found herself sitting on a folding chair, a bluish-white spotlight trained down on her. In what place she didn't know.
Why am I here? Where am I? She inquired, slowly turning her head to see if there was anyone else besides her, before it dawned upon Rei that she was alone.
And she heard herself speaking from somewhere.
"My heart, so much as to become distraught."
"My heart desiring bonds with people."
"Before I even knew it, I was… trembling… struggling… bleeding… gasping… and to realize in this final moment."
-FLASH!-
The scene was changed again, but this time Rei was in an Entry Plug, in another place and time, and another reason being there. She could hear herself reciting what amounted to a monologue while images flashed before her.
Mountain. Heavy are the mountains,
Something that changes through ages.
Sky. Blue sky. Something visible, something invisible.
Sun. Something unique.
Water. Something agreeable. Commander Ikari.
Flowers. Many of them alike, many of them useless.
Sky. Red, red sky. Red color. Red color that I hate.
Water flow. Blood. The smell of blood. A woman that does not bleed.
Made from the red soil are humans.
Made by man and woman are humans.
Town. Something that humans made.
Eva. Something that humans made.
Humans are what? Something that God made.
Humans are things which humans made.
The things I possess are my life and mind.
The vessel of a mind. Entry Plug, the throne of a soul.
Rei saw herself before a mirror, red eyes staring, inquiring as she tried to unlock her own personal enigma.
Who is this? This is me.
Who am I? What am I? What am I? What am I? What am I?
I am myself. This object is me, the figure which forms me.
This is the me that is visible, though it feels as if this is not me.
A strange feeling.
My body seems as if it is melting.
I cannot see myself. My figure is fading away.
I am aware of someone else.
Who is there before me?
Images of persons that interacted with Rei rushed before her, starting with Shinji.
Ikari.
I know this person. Major Katsuragi.
Doctor Akagi.
People, my classmates.
The pilot of Unit Two.
Commander Ikari.
Who are you? Who are you? Who are you?
-FLASH!-
Once again Rei was back in the Entry Plug, but the throbbing veins were all over her body, tightening as the Angel tried to fuse into her. But this point of view flickered as if it was being slown down. Still fighting to be alive, she glanced to her right, catching a glimpse of Shinji and Unit-01 struggling to stop the Angel from fusing with the Eva.
Rei's heart ached with the intense longing.
Is that my heart?
Lonely tears were flowing away from her eyes.
Do I need to unify myself with Ikari?
She could also hear the overriding electronic hum amidst the beeping alarms, comlink yells, the thunder of battle, and blinking warning signs. The displays flickered as weakening power surged throughout the Eva.
No.
The comlink window appeared, but it wasn't Shinji who was onscreen.
Kaworu Nagisa, in Unit-02, was silently trying to save her, mouthing her full name as he fought to stop Unit-01 from hurting Rei, even as her sight began to wax and wane.
The scene changed, from the forest where she made her last stand, to the concrete confines of the Test Facility, the wide field of vision and lateral G-forces gyrating from side to side. Rei was becoming nauseous, the extreme violent movements trying to kill her inside.
And then darkness fell upon her, ending the overwhelming shock and roll.
Rei slowly began to open her eyes, to find herself staring at Kaworu. Then she turned her head slowly to find out she was in one of the Infirmary rooms. She was on the bed, on a slightly upright position, and she felt a needle stuck to her arm, leading to a hanging IV dextrose bottle. Kaworu, now wearing his school uniform, was sitting right next to her. He was going to be her babysitter for the day.
"Hello," Kaworu greeted. "How are you feeling?"
Rei didn't know what to say, trying to find the right words.
"I feel weak…" she mumbled.
"You have been rejected by Unit One," Kaworu said, "and you were also unconscious for about two hours."
"I also have this strange feeling inside."
"What is it?" he inquired, slightly puzzled.
Rei moved her right hand to the chest, just over her heart.
"I… I… I feel I could remember," she answered, feeling every heartbeat on her palm. Tears were starting to well from her eyes, as she let her mind begin to flashback almost every image of her memories:
Testing Unit Zero, and Gendo's rescue;
The Commander's shattered glasses;
Shinji's arrival and the subsequent battle against the Third Angel;
The little "accident" they had at her apartment, when he delivered her new ID card;
On the moonlit night of Operation Yashima, where they defeated another Angel;
Her uneventful school life, and the loneliness;
Asuka's arrival, and the times when they exchanged words, some of it harsh words from the Second Child, and their rivalry;
Subsequent missions together against the Angels;
The evening meal at the streetside restaurant, and then she remembered the flavor and aroma of the pork-free garlic noodle soup;
Shinji's disappearance into the Sea of Dirac;
The destruction of Unit Three and the following assault on the Geofront by an Angel;
The reawakening of Unit One;
Shinji nearly consumed in the Entry Plug, and recovery;
The fall of the Second Children;
And finally, the Sixteenth Angel and the destruction of Unit Zero;
"If I let loose... there is no way my AT-Field would ever contain it... The Field will disintegrate... I... I must hold on..."
"Ayanami, what's wrong?" Kaworu asked almost quietly as he moved closer. "Are you all right?"
"I am the Third," Rei answered, tears cascading her pale cheeks. "I can remember now. Almost everything. What I have thought I have forgotten or lost, the emptiness has been filled in."
Rei sat upright and faced Kaworu, eye to eye.
"I have now realized the reason for my tears," she declared.
The numerous faces of Shinji, in different moods and different times, rushed before her eyes.
Kaworu looked baffled. "I don't understand," he whispered.
Rei shook her head in disagreement, and then she looked deeply into Kaworu's eyes.
"In many ways… you remind me of Ikari," she replied.
Thousands of kilometers away, Keel Lorenz was fuming, as his cup of tea was untouched for nearly ten minutes. On his desk was a brief report about today's Unit-01 fiasco, the covert source saying that the First Children failed to achieve compatibility.
"This isn't what I expect from him," Keel muttered. "He suddenly makes a rash decision costing millions, and in the process he fails."
The SEELE chairman typed in a few commands on the keyboard to bring up Commander Gendo Ikari's very extensive file on the main display. It showed his full picture, some important information and a biography. Keel opened some older sub-documents, which included Gendo's criminal record (and since then purged after pulling some powerful strings in the Japanese political hierarchy): assault and battery; public disturbance; resisting arrest; disorderly conduct. Hell, he was even responsible for starting at least ten barroom brawls, breaking jaws and heads while studying at Kyoto.
Keel shook his head. He's always a rebel from the start. I once used to admire his style, sacrificing moral complexities to accomplish an objective.
There were more files, this time dating back to Ikari's teenage days. School records (in Gendo's old surname) told of multiple reprimands from principals, another score of transfers after cases of bullying and fistfights. These were a sharp contrast to the exceptionally high scores on the report cards, his hard intellect that saved him from almost being expelled.
The old man sighed. "When you combine cold intelligence," he told himself, "with a dangerous fighting personality of a wild animal, trouble always follows."
Keel stood up from his seat, quickly emptied his cup and mentally wrote down a reminder to summon Commander Ikari later in the evening. He would have to demand some very hard inquiries as to why Gendo was trying to implicate the Evas in a very hazardous, unauthorized experiment.
"Depending on how well you will answer my questions," he muttered, "If you are wrong at the end, it may be the last time I dole out my forgiveness for all of your transgressions."
As Shinji was heading towards the the Infirmary, many thoughts were swirling in his head, mostly memories of Rei. He also remembered the last time she was here.
I saved her once, he thought, but she saved me on that day, yet she forgot what happened to herself. After all the trouble she got today, I don't know what to say this time.
Shinji frowned a bit, as he turned to the left corridor. He remembered that shabby-looking room that looked almost like Rei's home, the hospital bed surrounded by medical equipment and cabinets.
Or perhaps she doesn't know what to say either. I don't know. I'm not really sure because she's a clone; she's someone else… that's what makes me feel hard about her. She called herself the Third.
Shinji stopped walking, as understanding dawned upon him. He bowed down his head, doubting. His mind's eyes blinked from his mother's face to Rei's and back, but trying not to recall the gory mess in the tanks.
On second thought, she is Ayanami, even if she's not sure about herself. Why do I have to worry so much about whether she came from that Dummy Plug Plant place or why she's part of Father's scheme? Or why do I have to be afraid of her? Why?
He saw in his mind's eye of Rei wringing a cleaning rag, water dripping down to the bucket, and then more memories of being together with her.
I can't… I have to face Ayanami. I'm responsible for her, for what she once used to be, for even trying to do everything for her.
Shinji glanced up, deciding that he can't simply run away from this. Clone or not, he still owed her for everything; he affected her life and vice-versa.
Rei felt a headache, head bowing down, and her palms against the forehead. She mumbled, "Nagisa… can I rest because I am not feeling right?"
Still seated besides her, Kaworu nodded and said, "Sure, you really need to. You do look nauseous."
The First Children sighed and closed her eyes as she lay down. I could not handle all of what my mind has right now… It is very heavy for me. But I needed to know what went wrong.
"Yes," Rei whispered. "Tell me what happened to me."
Kaworu took a breath and began describing the whole story of what happened down there, including the rejection sequence and the chaos that followed.
"Unit One does not want me," Rei said, her eyes still closed. "Do you think I am… worthless?"
Kaworu shook his head. "N… No," he disagreed, "you still have a lot to live for, I believe. You've managed to survive a great deal, though. 'Worthless' sounds too harsh, but I think this would be the last time you'll be riding an Evangelion.
"I tell you… Sometimes we have to look beyond all that; we have to look life outside of this environment, as we can't simply depend on one thing or desire. We have to add more dimensions to our lives. Then we could see some new possibilities, and also see our true worth. We cannot escape this world, but we can think of many ways to make this world more bearable to live. That's why humanity continues to exist as they socialize and interact, for better or for worse, as this world continues spinning on its axis."
There was a moment of silence between the Children, as Rei pondered Kaworu's words.
"Can I ask you something instead?" he asked, breaking the reverie.
"Yes."
"Do you still have a heart for Shinji?"
Rei took a bit of hesitation to think about it, and then recalled from memory some of the times she and Shinji were together; his smiles, tears, words of gratitude, and even his worst fears. Kaworu was here, willing to listen to all of what she wanted to say, probably the first time since the end of Unit-00 she was able to speak with some confidence.
"He talks of everything about what he feels," she said. "More especially whenever he talked about his purpose of being here, and about his father. He is not sure of himself or about the Commander, for he is afraid; he feels he wants to run away. Perhaps I am the only one who could listen to him, because he could not open himself to everyone else.
"Ikari affected me ever since we first met. Whenever I am hurt, I am alone, or when he is also hurt or alone, he comes to me. He formed me into the person he wanted to see in me, as I became close to him. He even wanted to see me smile because I am not always an emotional person and I am not able to react properly.
"But when Unit Zero was destroyed, he became afraid of me. I do not know but it has something to do about me losing my memories on that day. That time I am even unsure of myself, I cry for reasons I could not know until now."
Rei opened her eyes and focused at Kaworu. She was again crying.
"Ikari is the reason for my tears, for my heart longed for his presence," she admitted. "My heart wanted him because I am lonely."
For a quiet moment Kaworu watched Rei weep, knowing that she has finally told the cause for her sorrow.
"But today… you're no longer alone," Kaworu answered almost quietly, breaking the silence. "To be honest, you're full of pain and longing, as your eyes said back at the pool. You asked for help, and I fulfilled that promise. That's why I'm here now."
Kaworu paused to get a box of tissues at the bedside table and gave it to Rei, who then daubed her cheeks and eyes with a handful of tissues.
The Fifth Children smiled softly. "Looks like it's your lucky day," he mused.
Rei set aside the tissue box. "Why?" she asked.
"I've never heard you talk much until today."
"Yes," Rei answered. "It is you that makes me want to speak, just as you have told me to open my heart."
"You have to… You needed a release, and as it seems that you are now able to remember, you have it. It's called catharsis."
"C… Catharsis?" Rei repeated the word.
Kaworu nodded. "That's right."
Rei felt relieved. More than anything, as if all the weight on her shoulders was lifted away. She then remembered what Shinji once told her when she couldn't know what to feel: "I think… you should smile."
"Nagisa… there is one thing I would like to say again," Rei said.
"What is it?"
Rei made a soft smile, also the first time since the destruction of Unit-00, now able to convey her emotions visibly. Her eyes found peace, yet there was a slight trace of blush on the cheeks. I want to live, she told herself, and I want to continue these relations.
"I… I thank you," she answered, "For saving me."
At a smaller workstation in the Data Analysis Room, Natsumi Odani was on the keyboard, having entered her ID card to securely access classified data. Fuyutsuki and Misato were watching behind her seat, listening to every word.
"Okay," Natsumi said as she entered query keywords for the search engine. "I'm getting some of the Functional MRI/PET scans on the First Children, then and now."
She pressed Enter, and then the workstation computer quickly found several of Rei's F-MRI/PET files, all cross-sectional scans. Natsumi loaded the first and the older among this group, displaying it onscreen.
"Here's the first one," she began. "This dates back after the attack on the Geofront, the one she tried to kill the Angel with an N2 but failed, and as per standard procedure for injured pilots after ER Doctor Akagi ran a brain scan on her. Now, if you can see it here, despite sustaining battle wounds, Ayanami's brain functionality remained normal. The amount of brain activity is indicated by the size and color of the overlays."
Fuyutsuki and Misato peered closely. On this image of Rei's brain, a scanned axial cross-section slice, colored overlay areas indicated signal changes in brain activity; red and yellow represented increased changes; blue and green showed reduced changes.
"Then this is her brain after Unit Zero was destroyed," Natsumi remarked, loading a second image. On this image, the color overlay blobs located at the hippocampus were smaller, meaning little or no activity.
"Does that mean that if these blobs here on this hippocampus are small," Fuyutsuki noted, "there's a problem with her memory? Am I correct?"
"Here, sir," Natsumi said, "it means that she has some trouble remembering, classified as retrograde amnesia. She may be able to remember some events or persons, but due to trauma she could not recall more recent events."
Misato nodded. "Ayanami wasn't able to remember about saving Shinji," she mentioned. As if her mind was a slate wiped clean.
"Ah, that's one example," Natsumi answered, before she selected a third image file and loaded it. "This is today's scan I did on her couple of hours ago," she remarked, pointing out the new changes shown on the image. The color blobs on the hippocampus area were large and orange-red, indicating greater amount of brain activity.
To Misato, all she could do was to scratch her head, but Fuyutsuki looked astonished.
"Sir," Natsumi said, tapping the blob onscreen. "As this image tries to prove, what Unit One did to Ayanami's hippocampus area today, is that this Eva has forcefully inserted a truckload of information we don't have any idea about. Right now, lying on bed, she could be carrying, whatever it is, anything and everything in her head."
Kaworu watched as the resident nurse went through the motions of checking Rei, taking a pulse with a stethoscope, measuring body temperature, fiddling with the flow valve on the IV line, and gave her a packet of painkiller tablets, which the First Children swallowed along with a glass of water while the nurse jotted her findings on a clipboard.
"Well," the nurse said to Kaworu, her nameplate on the white uniform identifying her as Chigusa, "all in all, she's okay but according to Doctor Odani, Miss Ayanami could be released tomorrow morning after she finishes some diagnostic tests this evening."
Kaworu nodded. "Thank you," he answered as the nurse left the room. Once they were alone, he sat down onto a chair and said, "Hmmm… Do you need anything, just to pass the time? Maybe you want to read a book or two? There's a little library around here."
"I do not know," Rei replied. "What book do you have in mind?"
"Perhaps you could appreciate the writings of Natsume Souseki?" he suggested.
Rei simply nodded in approval.
"Okay," Kaworu said, rising from his chair, "just wait here and…" He saw the door open and at the doorway Shinji was standing, looking at Rei.
Kaworu smiled. "Oh, it's you."
"I… I'm sorry," Shinji said, walking into the room. "It took me so long to come here because I was with Misato."
"Ikari…" Rei whispered.
"Ah… Ayanami… are you okay?" he asked, almost stammering because of his inner double-take. He began to take notice of her red eyes, which looked different from the last time; they were no longer blank and expressionless just like after Unit-00's demise. Gone also was the cold look on her face, replaced with new serenity. Is that really you? Shinji wondered.
Rei, on the other hand, was trying to guess whether Shinji would be able to accept what she was today, and whether he would recognize once more her old self. Everything she knew about him and between them came through her mind as though she was leafing page after page of a photo album.
With great and sudden clarity, Rei saw the first time they met in dangerous circumstances, she in his arms as the klaxons blared around them and above their heads, Eva Unit-01 managed to shield them together from falling debris with her arm. Rei was still in bandages, painfully trying to keep herself alive despite being asked to do the impossible, while Shinji mumbled not to run away.
"Yes," Rei answered. "There is, however, regret that I was not able to answer your one concern previously."
"What is it?"
"I am sorry for my forgetfulness," she said softly. "I confess that I have saved you from the Angel."
Shinji was left agape for a second or two. Kaworu knew it better to let them talk freely.
"You mean… You can remember now?" he asked, puzzled.
Rei nodded. "Yes."
"I… I don't know what else to say," Shinji said, trying to find the right words.
"Ikari, what matters most for me is you are now here," Rei said, bowing her head slightly. "Forgive me for causing you much distress."
Shinji felt as if the world has gone off its axis, wondering what really happened to Rei and prompted her to talk like this. But he needed proof, so he asked her one question.
"Ayanami," Shinji said, "Do you remember the day I delivered your new ID card?"
There was a short pause between the two Children, the gears in Rei's mind spinning quickly to bring back the moment as if it happened yesterday.
"Yes," she answered, now able to find the right words to describe that scene. "I was finished taking a bath when I found you waiting. You were holding a pair of glasses that once belonged to your father, and as a remembrance I kept it on the cabinet. I thought you were a thief, trying to steal them as you were wearing it. I tried to seize the glasses back from your hands, but we slipped to the floor. Unfortunately, I was only wearing a towel, and I have neglected to lock the door, therefore I did not notice you entering my room while I was bathing."
Then silence at this tableau. Rei was waiting for Shinji to react, but already it was happening. Kaworu now noticed that Shinji was clearly beet-red in the face, but even he was also overcome: straight-out, Rei admitted a very intimate part of her life, without blinking an eye, without guilt or malice, without embellishing or cutting out the details.
This was Rei's proof of life.
"Shinji," Kaworu spoke, trying to snap him out of his daze. "I think Ayanami's right, because it's on your face… She's telling the truth."
The Third Children slowly walked up to Rei, eyes locked to hers, still looked astonished, and then with both arms hugged her. Only then Shinji began to sob, as it was clear that the Rei Ayanami he liked best was now returned to him.
