Disclaimer: I don't own Shugo Chara.
I sit in one of the many royal gardens and think.
I had been so sure that I was completely in love with Iktuo but if one talk with Tadase could sway me even a little... I sigh and fidget with my hands.
That night, after I'd spent so long crying, I fell asleep in Ikuto's arms. The next morning I found myself alone in bed, and the tea Ikut brought had turned cold.
These few days he's been really careful around me, as if the smallest things could startle me. I guess that's true in a way. I'm not sure what I would do if he started acting normal again, there is a chance I would start bawling again.
Ikuto walks into the garden and up to where I am sitting and hesitates. "I need to go to a meeting with my father, I'll be gone for a few hours." He pauses and uncertainly strokes my cheek, "Will you be ok by yourself?"
He was being too gentle, I wanted him to tease me, act perverted, smirk, pretend I was ok. Instead of telling him though, I smile, "Yeah, sure. I'll be fine."
"Ok." He kisses my hair and strides away.
That's a few hours I can think without Ikuto. I make my way back to my room.
I look around, I had grown to love this room and it's familiar to me now. If I marry Ikuto I can live in this palace and live happily ever after but I want to be sure that I love Ikuto completely first.
I walk to the vanity against the far wall, to my jewelry box. Tadase had given me lots of necklaces, earrings and bracelets over the years and I never bothered throwing any of it out. I take out the necklace he had given me the day my parents told me I would marry Ikuto.
I smile to myself, thinking of how resistant I was to the idea. I dig through the box some more, the chains and charms make clinking sounds and I know that if I sold even one fifth of the box, I could get at least ten grand. I thought of Tadase going through the stores picking out the jewelry he thought would look good on me, it doesn't give me the same warm, fuzzy feeling it did before.
Instead, the huge teddy bear Ikuto won for me caught my eye. I had given it a special corner in my bed so I could cuddle up to it every night. The bear is worth thirty dollars tops, but it means so much more to me than all of Tadase's gifts combined. When I look at the bear, I think of all the good times Ikuto and I had together. I see Ikuto climbing the obstacle course and how he worked for it, just for me.
Tadase's jewelry is pretty looking but they are cold.
I realize that these are good metaphors for how I feel about them. To me, Ikuto represented love.
Grinning, I walk up to the bear and grab it in a big bear hug. No pun intended. It's fur is just as soft as Ikuto's hair.
I call a maid and tell her to send a message to Tadase to come to the palace quickly. I wanted this solved quickly and before Ikuto came back. Tadase is here just forty minutes later.
He looks rushed and hopeful. I hate to be the one to disappoint him but I know I have to. It isn't fair to leave him hanging either.
"Amu." Tadase smiles when he comes into my room. I close the door behind him, and pick up the jewelry box off my vanity. I had sorted through everything he had given me from the jewelry that is actually mine. He had given me the box too so I am also that giving back.
I hand it to him, and he stares at it, confused. "What's this?"
"It's all the jewelry you've given me through the years." Realization filters through his eyes and he looks like he's about to be sick.
"Why are you giving it back?"
"I can't keep it. It's not fair to you, Ikuto, or me."
"Amu-" I shake my head, cutting him off, "I'm sorry Tadase, but I'm with Ikuto now."
Several emotions flicker across features.
Disbelief.
Sadness.
And anger.
"What's so special about him?"
I shrug, "He's just... right." That is a huge understatement.
"But Amu... We spent so much time together. Are you just going to forget those memories?"
"No." I shake my head, "The times spent with you are special to me too."
"But Ikuto is more special." He grounds out bitterly.
I look down, feeling guilty, "Yes, he is."
"I don't believe you!" My head snaps up, he had never raised his voice before. "This is all it takes to get your attention?" He's shaking and angry.
"Tadase-"
"Shut up!" He throws down the jewelry box and the trinkets scatter. "I don't believe it!" He is walking towards me now and I walk back, feeling scared. His eyes are burning and he's stalking towards me.
I realize his intentions and I start to protest, "Wait! Tadase-" He smashes his lips to mine and kisses me, hard. "Mm!" I struggle, but he is much stronger than I expected.
His tongue invades my mouth when I try to scream and he muffles my cries. I realize that resisting is futile. The only way to get him to stop would be to let him kiss me and call for help when he calms down. So I shut down completely, standing stiffly in front of him. This calms him a little.
But when it seems like he is about to let go, my door opens. "Amu?" I would know that voice anywhere. Deep, comforting and warm, but at the moment he sounded incredulous. I suddenly realized how the situation looked. I push on Tadase's chest, hard and he stumbles back from the sudden impact.
Ikuto stares at us, eyes wide and lips slightly parted. But suddenly, as if someone flipped a switch, he gains back his composure. His posture straightens and his liquid eyes ice over. He turns around and starts to walk out, "Come find me when you're done." he calls over his shoulder.
I'm frozen for half a beat, then rip myself from Tadase's hold and run after him. Somehow, he had already gotten halfway down the hall. I grab his wrist, stopping him. He jerks to a halt and feigns surprise, "Well, that was fast."
"Ikuto-"
"No." He holds up a hand, "Let me go first." He looks me straight in the eye and I can see the deadly calmness in his, "Amu Hinamori, I hereby declare our engagement absolved. You are no longer obligated to fulfill our agreement."
I freeze, I hadn't expected him so be so severe. "Ikuto, give me a chance-"
"That's Prince Ikuto."
"I didn't want Tadase to kiss me!"
"Oh, is that why you weren't resisting at all?"
"I-" I realize that I have no physical evidence. Ikuto saw what he saw, and he was straightforward enough that he would believe just that. "I saw him at the park last week."
"Is that why you've been so distant?"
"Yeah..." I try again, "But Tadase came because-"
"Because you called him here." Ikuto tilts his head accusingly, "There's no other way he could've gotten to you, unless you gave permission."
I dipped my head in defeat, "Yeah."
"So you see Tadase in the park last week, you've been acting weird all this time, while I'm gone you call him here to your room, and I come back to find you two kissing." Ikuto's features dropped in sadness and defeat, "What do you want me to think, Amu?"
"I-"
"Rhetorical question." Ikuto stops me with a wave of his hand and walks away again, "I want your bags packed by tonight and you are to be gone from the estate by tomorrow morning."
"Wait, Ikuto!" But he had already turned the corner.
I stand in the hallway for a few more minutes until guards escort me back, "We have to been given orders to escort you back to your room." I glance at them, and trudge back.
Thankfully, Tadase had slipped away while Ikuto and I were talking. As I watch the maids fold my clothes into my trunks, Utau strides into the room. She leans against the doorframe, and the maids stand up and bow, "Utau- Sama."
She jerks her head toward the door, "Leave for a minute." With their heads bowed, they file out of my room. I stand up and bow to her too, "Utau- sama."
She stares at me and snorts out a harsh laugh, "I knew Ikuto wouldn't settle for you. He already told our father that he's not marrying you." My heart sinks, that meant our engagement was truly over.
Utau walks over and stares me down, "You know, you really are sad. For a while, I actually thought you could be a good match for Ikuto, but then you..." She trails off and shakes her sadly. "You probably thought what he did was pretty harsh though, huh?"
I close me eyes, trapping the tears, "He didn't even give me a chance to explain."
"I know. But you know, Ikuto took a huge chance letting himself like you. He doesn't trust or commit easily."
I nod, "I know."
"No, you don't know." Utau glares at me, "You just think Ikuto is stubborn and commitment- phobic like every other man, it's more than that."
I look up, meeting her eyes for the first time, "It is?"
"Yeah. Did Ikuto ever tell you about our mom?"
