Chapter 12: Petite Sophisticate

For the next three years, my life balanced on the thin line between two worlds - the world of the undead and indestructible, and the world of my two very mortal human friends. I made everyone fabulously rich, including myself, so that I had no needs that I could not meet. At the end of every July, I hosted a vampire ball to celebrate our victory from 1926, or at least that was my excuse. I would have thrown a ball every month just for the fun of it. Everyone loved the celebration dance so much that first year, that it had become a fixture on the vampire social calendar. Vampires from all over the United States would descend on New York in July and Christmas for the two annual balls. Annette and I, good friends on every other point, had a not so friendly competition going between us as she was in charge of the Christmas Ball.

I took correspondence courses that taught me how to make hats, broaches, crocheted jewelry, and knit cardigans. I bought more clothing than could be worn in a year - well, almost, I did find a way to wear it all at least once - and had fun redoing Annette's, Lena's, Gerta's and Marianne's wardrobes in my spare time.

And I waited.

I waited to have the visions become clear enough to guide me. I knew all of their faces, and names, Jasper, Esme and Carlisle, and the traitorous Edward. I waited to find out where to go to heal my heart and find my family, and I waited to see what else this strange life had in store for me.

I had even gone with Paul and Annette down the whole East Coast and across the Gulf to New Orleans in November of 1926, hoping that traveling south would clear my visions up, but they became much less solid south of the Carolinas, and only cleared when we headed back north.

The trip was fun. Atlantic City was fabulous, and I loved the gambling. I was a natural at Roulette for obvious reasons. The beaches of Florida and the Keys were wonderful, and my skin was warm for the first time in my known life. I loved the night life and music of New Orleans. We danced and sang and enjoyed it all. Paul and Annette got to see old friends and dine on Cajun. I tried alligator. While the fight was fun, the blood was horrid. I decided to never eat cold blood again if I could help it. It would have been a perfect vacation if the visions hadn't become so hazy.

Then, on May 13th, 1929, Myrtle Dewar passed away.

"What should I do?" I had asked my undying friends when it had become clear in both my visions and her labored breathing that her death was close.

"You have two choices when it comes to humans," Annette had answered, "let them die once, or give them eternal death. What would she want?" She was always practical about such things.

One choice forced me to lose Myrtle once, and the other forced her to lose her life forever. When Annette put it that way, it was clear what I had to do. So, I simply let it happen, and as I watched her sleep, she died.

Her death caused me more pain than I would have dreamed possible. This mortal woman's passing made me feel more alone and hollow than I had felt since I awoke nine years ago. I now understood Annette's warning on the first night we had met, being close to humans carried with it a great cost, and I was finding it difficult to pay.

Myrtle left her estate divided between me, Herbert, and Edwina. The gesture made me miss her even more and was very sweet, though I didn't need the money. I simply gave my share to Herbert.

According to vampire inheritance rules, I and Paul's coven split the estate of Michael and Brittany evenly. The avengers of a destroyed coven took the estate of that coven, and my one-fifth share was two and a half million dollars. With this and the money I made on the stock market, I would be able to live for several hundred years without needing to work.

~X~

"Alice?" Marianne's voice drew me out of my memories. She sounded worried.

"Hmmm?" I responded as I covered over the layout for the July celebration that was just three weeks away. My stupid, fickle visions should have warned me of her coming.

"Are you sure you are able to do this by yourself? You seem so out of sorts since Myrtle's passing, and we are a little worried that you are trying to do too much too soon."

I looked into her concerned eyes and saw just how much my behavior must be off. I would need to do better. "I'm sorry if I haven't been myself. It's just harder than I thought it would be to say goodbye."

"It's worse than when you found out the young man was lost, isn't it?" she asked referring to my darkest time between the coven war and Myrtle's death.

"Yes, it's much worse. I didn't know him all that well, but I had been with Myrtle for six years."

"What was his name? You never told us," she pressed. It was still a mystery to them why I cared so much for the boy. I had told them he was a friend of Myrtle's that I was fond of, and he had been lost in a city. It was like everything else I told them, part lie and part truth. There was still no way I could tell them the whole truth.

"Edward. They still hope he can be found, but I don't know if it's possible now."

Two years ago. I couldn't believe so much time had passed since I found out the reddish blond vampire's name. He had left the coven that I claimed as my own to find his own path, a very bloody path. The vision was one of the clearest I had ever had, and it broke my heart. I could see the beautiful blond Carlisle and his lovely mate standing under a porch with agonized expressions as they called after him. The door and windows on the home had been broken. Edward just walked down the street without so much as a backward glance. The next time I saw Edward, he was hunting in a city with crimson eyes. I felt the loss as if it were truly my own.

"I know I've been very distracted lately, but it isn't just Myrtle's death, something is off in the market, and something is coming to the whole world that is horrid beyond description, and I am trying to understand what is wrong," I confessed. I really was out of sorts with all the bad visions.

"It's not your job to protect us from the whole world. It isn't even your responsibility to secure wealth for everyone you know. We did very well for ourselves before you came, so don't take on our wealth and happiness as your personal responsibility."

"I feel like it is, though," I grumbled, my face betrayed my annoyance at that fact.

"Alice, you can't change the world! So what if there is another financial panic? The ones in the 1880s were bad, but we all got through them just fine. Besides, I know that, for our coven, we just are very glad you have chosen to stay here in New York. If you never make another penny for us, we would still want you to be here," she assured me.

It was true, and I knew it. They would love for me to join a coven and stay forever, and part of me wished that I could want that too. Paul had made it abundantly clear, and he was very hard to resist. If it wasn't for my absolute certainty that the four, now three, people in my visions were supposed to be a part of me, I would have given in and stayed.

"Thanks, Marianne. You have no idea how much you all mean to me, too. You have helped me through so much in the last four years, and I feel like you are my very best friends." They had even come to Myrtle's funeral just to support me. It was probably the only funeral the Hebrew cemetery had ever had with more dead people than living in attendance.

Marianne put her soft, stone hand over mine and looked at me with the eyes of friendship.

"I know how you feel, really I do," she said, "when my family passed, it was like I was hollow and lost, but it was really the right thing to bury them. It sounds so strange now because it hurt so badly that they were gone and I was still the same, but it was somehow so very right that they lived, loved, and died. It was the ending that we can never have, it was a good ending, and I truly believe that they are happy and together, and that is so very right."

"I like to think of Myrtle and Hank being together again, just like they were in the dress shop." I smiled at the memory. "You're right. I think that Myrtle did well for herself."

"I'm usually right," she laughed, "and I am also going to behead you if you don't let me help with the arrangements this year. So what's on tap for the evening?"

"Oh, no. There is no way that I will ruin the surprise for you or anyone else. Besides, I need to talk to humans tomorrow, and you just ate," I said as I pointed to her bright-red eyes. Tomorrow would be cloudy only in the morning, so I needed to use the time wisely. July was always a difficult time for vampires. Most days were very long and very sunny.

"Oh, for the love of Pete," she muttered, clearly frustrated. They always tried to get me to tell them what I was doing new for the ball, and this July was like any other. She kept sliding her eyes over to where my plans were covered.

"It can't be anymore grandiose than the magician and trapeze artists last year. It isn't fair you know," she whined, "we can't get near humans without them panicking, and all you have to do is flash your honey eyes and you get anything you want."

"I'm not telling, so stop trying to look at my plans."

"It still can't be any more elaborate, I'd be willing to bet on it," she grumbled.

"I'll take that bet," I laughed.

oo||xXx||oo

The flame swallower did a wonderful job of wowing my flammable audience, and the Chinese acrobats astounded everyone, including the resident Chinese coven. Everyone had a great time on the roof of the financial building that Herbert's company owned. The jazz musicians played a swanky little tune while I introduced the night's last performance, fireworks - which is why we were on a roof. The whole group oohed and ahed at the right moments, and everyone applauded when they were finished. Then, we danced until it was almost dawn. Once again, I had outdone myself. And Annette.

"Okay, Marianne," I gloated, "confess. What did you think?"

"You did it, I can't believe it, but you did it."

"I can't vait to see Annette try to one-up you at de Christmas ball," snickered Ivan, "I think she is going to have a hard time finding anything short of a volcanic eruption that could outdo tonight."

"Maybe she will do just that," laughed Marianne, "I think a volcano would be right up her alley about now. A volcano complete with a virgin vampire sacrifice would make her feel much better."

Gregorio was grinning behind her. "Alice is probably the only one here that could pass for a virgin sacrifice." He was evil.

Indeed Annette didn't look all that relaxed this evening, though she enjoyed the fireworks and performances as much as anyone. She just looked worried, a little sick, and very preoccupied with her plans for December. I smiled and waved a little to rub the evening in a bit. She returned my smile with a grimace. She looked murderous.

What's a little competition without a little teasing?

"You have a wide, vicious streak in you, Alice," scolded Paul. "Do you know how much I am going to have to put up with today? I am going to end up spending all my time on her new ideas just so she can throw a better party," he growled. He did look irritated with me.

"It's just a distraction for the resident vampires, albeit a really well planned and beautifully executed one," I laughed and twirled around in delight.

Paul just sighed deeply, threw a glance at his irate wife, and said, "Oh, this is so much more than a distraction, believe me."

Well, it's my distraction, and I really need it now, I thought as I said goodbye to them.

Thirty-eight vampires had attended tonight, and I felt overjoyed at the crowd. Everyone was leaving before dawn, and I needed to quickly join them because today would be very sunny. I was pleased with myself as I made my way to Edwina's house.

As I entered the window, however, the loneliness hit me again. I growled at myself in reproach. How could I be the star of the show, surrounded by adoring vampires, and still be lonely? It was simply immature.

Frustration joined loneliness as I hung up my ball gown, put on a lovely silk and chiffon day dress. I simply had to keep all my raging emotions under control. I sat down and tried to calm myself until I heard Edwina downstairs.

I slowly went down to see her, hoping that no visions would strike me today. The unlooked for visions, the ones that just hit without warning, were becoming stronger and harder to deal with. It wasn't just the intensity of the vision that was difficult, but also the intensity of my emotions that were becoming tangled up in them. It was as if I couldn't have an important vision without having an equally intense emotional reaction. I was beginning to lose control, and it scared me to death.

The vision that hit during Edwina's breakfast shouldn't have caused me much difficulty. There was no bloodshed, no terror, and no movement. I simply saw a for sale sign outside of Edwina's home during a light, early winter snow fall. There was nothing scary at all. Except for the fact that between now and the first snow, I was going to lose my teacher, friend, and the last of my family.

"Honey, are you all right?" I heard her ask.

I realized I was shaking, sobbing tearlessly. "I just miss her so much," I lied looking at Edwina for signs of death. She had lost weight, a lot of weight, over the last few weeks. How could I not have noticed?

"I understand, really I do, but honey, you have got to let it go. You are almost twenty-six, and you need to get on with your life. You have been so kind and generous, that we owe you more than we can every repay. So, go on. Stop crying for the dead and start living again. What would Myrtle think?"

"She would think I need to find a man," I laughed.

"Yes, and she would be right," Edwina laughed, too. "Why don't you try to go out and meet someone who is as wonderful as you? You deserve a good man."

"Do you want to know a secret?" I whispered to her as conspiratorially as I could. She nodded like an eager child. "I have found a good man, but he lives far away and I can't go to him now." It felt ridiculously good to tell someone.

"Why on earth can't you go to him? Is it because of us? You had better not be staying away for my sake, or I will kick you straight to Kingdom Come."

"No, no. He's away as a soldier, an officer, and his name is Jasper Whitlock," his name even tasted good to say out loud, "and he and I will get together soon. So don't worry about getting me a man, because I have one." That simple statement seemed to warm my cold chest and brought me more pleasure than any of last night's events.

Suddenly, Edwina truly looked like a school girl as she clapped her hands and demanded, "You tell me all about him, and I mean everything. Don't spare any details!"

I think I will spare a few, I thought as I gave Edwina the best gift I could offer, my future with Jasper.