The sea breeze graze against her pink cheeks just so, and Makoto sighs, spreading out her arms and legs on the wooden decks. She is flopped onto her stomach, given that her torn up back is still delicate to the touch. The gentle sun warms her body from above, sending a pleasant shiver down her spine. She breathes again, taking in the briny air, deep and slow.
It feels good.
Under the midday sun, the easily-burnt passengers wander below deck, and the sociable ones make their way to the bar at the back of the ship. The only sounds left to be heard are the soft rustles of the waves and the faraway chirps of seabirds. There is something about the lack of boyish chatter that puts her at ease.
If she is being honest with herself, the brunette would admit that things have been just a little bit awkward lately, since her discharge. Many things have happened since then, many a decision made. She also supposes that is why Kurapica has suggested (see: forced) that they take a mandated leave.
For the boys, the destination was a no-brainer: Whale Island.
Killua was there, a sunlit grin on his face as he leaned casually against the door – it was almost infuriating, how cool he looked; Makoto micromanaged her expression, as not to reveal the scowl on her face. Doctor Leorio had been the one to handle her discharge, and the brunette really wished he hadn't. The process had been long and arduous, for good-ol' Leorio always seemed to find a way to add a little nagging to his practice, and for God's sakes, Makoto just wanted to go home.
Having Killua there didn't help. He wanted to carry her, to hold her hand, to lean her against his shoulder – everything that she would have wanted of him under normal circumstances. And yet, for him to behave as such only when she was hospitalized just added fuel to the fire. Silent "why couldn't you's" hung heavily in every glare she sent his way, and although her anger never diminished, she still hated the way his smile turned brittle by the time they reached the hotel suite they called home.
"Here," Killua offered courteously as he held open the door, prompting the unimpressed brunette to roll her eyes. The former assassin watched as another one of his attempts foil. Makoto all but stumbled to the bed, sitting with great difficulty. Killua reached towards the mini-fridge. "Do you want some water?"
"It's fine." The huntress retorted much too quickly. She watched his fingers fall.
Surprisingly, when Killua turned back to face his female companion, the smile was stitched back onto his face, stretched in a forceful, but not entirely insincere, manner. "How do you feel?" His voice was breathless and soft, like the gentlest gust of summer breeze.
Makoto fiddled with her fingers, "fine."
"Good." Killua murmured, taking the space next to her. Having Killua that close, Makoto noticed, had become unsettling.
Silence veiled over them for a few moments, and for what was possibly the first time since their meeting, the two friends did not know what to say to one another.
"Gon's discharge is in an hour, I'm going to go find him," Killua announced suddenly, breaking the quiet.
"As you should."
And then he was gone.
Killua's absence made room for Makoto's thoughts – they must have traveled and lingered, bouncing off the walls then settling back into her mind. It was a well-needed release; the pent-up anxiety from earlier dissipated little by little as the brunette eventually arrived at a conclusion.
She needed to speak to Kurapica.
"Ne Killua," Gon begins, leaning a shoulder on the mast for support. The wind rushes at his face, but there are far more important matters occupying the mind of the little island boy – such as the girl on the deck. "Don't you think you should go talk to Makko-chan? It's been a week."
"Why would I do that?" mumbles the former assassin.
"Killua!"
"Ahh! You're annoying!" The purple-clad boy growls at his friend, visibly aggravated by such a topic on the tranquil, breezy morning. "Why is it always up to me? She's an adult, she does whatever she wants." He pauses, then adds, albeit not without rancor, "Clearly."
"Moh Killua, you're so immature."
Irritated, the silver-headed hunter pointedly looks away.
The sun was setting when Killua stumbled in with a jolly Gon on his arm. The doctors had given the dark-haired boy an extra dose of a little something when he, out of over-excitement, became too rowdy at the thought of his discharge. The former assassin could only laugh when he all but threw his best friend onto the bed, musing as the green-clad boy flail about. He then took in the state of the room.
Something was off.
Clearly Makoto wasn't there, he had been half-expecting that- and yet, something… something else felt wrong. There was a lot more space in there and-
Anger suddenly flared up from the pits of his stomach as he rushed forth to tear the closet door open. Sure enough, a small section of space had been cleared out. Gon watched him, confusion across his still dopey features. The young hunter didn't even have time to formulate a question in his drug-addled brain when his friend shot to the bathroom next, and in it, one less toothbrush, one less towel, one less comb. And all too quickly but not quick enough, a soul-crushing weight that had seemingly manifested from thin air dropped onto him; for the first time since he could remember, Killua felt…crippled.
But fate was kind; before the panic could set in, the door swung open, almost as if providing oxygen for life's asphyxiating victim. Makoto's reddened face and shallow breaths reined Killua in from the brink of hyperventilation.
The silver-haired boy stared straight before him, not turning immediately to acknowledge his friend, but Makoto could tell, from his dark blown pupil, that a storm brewed within. "S-Sorry, I meant to be here when you got back I-"
Tentative steps echoed in the silent room, bouncing only off the trembling exhales of the assassin's breaths. "Ki, I can explain."
"I told you it was a bad idea," Kurapica sighs exasperatedly. He has too much on his plate right now to worry about this on-going drama with his friends. Knowing their personalities, this could only result in more problems.
"I didn't have a choice," Makoto all but seethes, glaring out the window from where she sits on the windowsill.
"Everybody has a choice," retorts the blond. Makoto knows he's turned to look at her from the squeak of his turn-y chair – a Bond villain, Kurapica is.
"This is partially your fault, you know," Makoto faces him fully for the first time, the pen in her hand turned pointedly at the accused. "Leorio told me what you told Killua. Why would you tell him I was in love with him?"
"Was I wrong?"
"Damn straight you're wrong. God! You think because you're the big boss you get to give love advice to people?" cried the raven. She could see – feel – the blond's annoyance grow with each passing second.
"Well, if you had listened to my advice against your moving out, we wouldn't be having this discussion right now." Kurapica states almost matter-of-factly, further enraging the younger hunter.
"Yes, because when you have Killua Zaoldyeck trying to be touchy-feely with you, you would want to move out too!"
"I'm not in love with him."
"Neither am I!" Makoto puffed, cheeks hot with anger and embarrassment. Can Kurapica please stop repeating this phrase? "Do you know how difficult it is to have his eyes on you 24/7? I can't breathe. Oi! Kurapica! Listen to me!"
"Alright! I get it!" The Kurata barks, hands rubbing away at his temples in exasperation. "If it's anything like you breathing down my neck right now I would want out too."
"Thank you!" Makoto rolls her eyes, throwing her arms up with a silent 'finally!' She's been trying to get Kurapica to understand for the past half an hour.
"If I promise to talk to him, will you get out?"
"Yes, thank you," faintly, Makoto smiles, hopping down from her spot by the window. And then, she just couldn't help it. How does one annoy the shit out of Kurapica? Well, a kiss to the cheek, of course. So Makoto does.
It really was to absolutely nobody's surprise that he physically kicked her out of his office, quite literally so.
Makoto groans, throwing the entirety of her weight onto the single bed she now possesses in her single room. She should have expected this. Really, after all this time, she should have known. Nobody is more rancorous than Killua Zaoldyeck, and even Kurapica, the ambassador, the voice of reason, could not make the former assassin see sense.
When Kurapica had broken the news to her that Killua will, indeed, remain difficult regarding her move-out, Makoto had broken out into a rant, and so long it was that Kurapica had finally had enough. The blond mandated a vacation. For all of them. Together.
His exact words were: Get out of my hotel.
The wind feels good on her sweaty skin, and Makoto breathes a sigh of relief as Gon's little tree house gradually grows in size – a lovely focus to the purplish pink backdrop of the sunset.
From behind her boys, Makoto hears Gon's footstep grow light with each bound towards home and watches Killua's shoulder relax as he anticipates the reunion with the only person he considers family – Alluka. Even with the tense atmosphere, the raven could not help but feel a certain happiness bloom from within her chest. Her boys, they've endured so much, and Whale Island is truly the moment in paradise they deserve. In the little house not too far away, Gon and Killua are going to find their family.
But the more this happiness grows, the more Makoto trails behind…
More and more… until she stops.
Why, exactly, is she here?
What is for her here? Normal people go home on holidays, and here she stands, blindly following others like a lost dog. And while she knew that Mito-san and Obaa-chan will be so welcoming, so loving, she couldn't help but feel like… like she didn't belong.
A sharp "What's wrong with you?" brings Makoto out of her stupor. It's Killua, staring back at her with that signature expression of annoyance; Makoto hadn't even realized how much further ahead Gon was. Shaking her head quickly, the raven breaks into a light jog, stopping only until she was just half a step behind the former assassin. She feels more than sees his piercing gaze on her, but right now, with onyx eyes trained steadfast on the dirt trail, Makoto ignores him, hoping he wouldn't ask any more questions.
"Mito-san!" Gon screams as soon as he sees the woman who was basically his adoptive mother. And although at 18, Makoto hears the voice of the same 12 year-old boy who came home for the first time after the exams. The green-clad boy dashes, with a grin so wide that it nearly splits his face in two, into the arms of the red-haired woman.
"Gon!" She cries out with just as much vigor and excitement, squeezing the boy with all the strength in her body. And without so much as turning around, she shouts "Okaa-san! Gon is home!"
Killua and Makoto could only smile at the pair's antics as they finally catch up. As soon as Mito-san notices them, the light in her eye brightens even more, deepening every single crease on the corner of her eyes. "Alluka-chan! Your-"
Before Mito-san could finish her sentence, a high pitched squeal came from behind her, sending shivers down the spine of everyone within hearing range. Then, a figure is pushing past Mito and Gon, shouting "Onii-chan!"
Killua barely has time to react before the body of a small girl crashes into him, knocking him to the ground. "Alluka!" the former assassin lets out a hearty, booming laugh, a sound that resonates deep into Makoto's soul. How long has it been since she's heard that sound? She doesn't even remember. But as she watches Obaa-chan coming to join Gon and Mito in their embrace, as well as the younger girl (one who must be the famous Alluka she's heard so much about) peppering Killua with kisses, she couldn't help but notice the dull ache that settled in the pits of her chest.
"Onii-chan, who is this?" Alluka cocks her head to the side, curiosity brimming in her dark eyes. Killua doesn't spare the brunette the slightest glance.
"Just a friend."
Dinner is animated, to say the least. Alluka claps in excitement, diamonds in her eyes, as she listens to Gon describe his latest fight scene. Killua chimes in here and there, corroborating the story of his partner-in-crime.
In the meantime, Makoto picks the red peppers out of her noodles and eats those first, receiving a brow-raise from the red-haired woman who sits across from her. She pays Mito-san no mind however, and continues to pick at her food.
'Just a friend,' Killua had said. No name, no further detail. To Alluka, the only family Killua truly loves, Makoto is 'just a friend.'
Have they really fallen so far down?
"So, boys and girls, where do you want to sleep tonight?" Mito asks with a smile as she clears the table. Obaa-chan replaces the empty dishes with a plate of freshly cut pears. "You know we've still only got 2 beds."
"I just I don't want to sleep with Onii-san on a twin mattress. He kicks." Alluka interjects quickly, shuddering at the thought. Her childhood has been comprised of plenty of naps with Killua under the big oak tree back home, and even then, her brother's kicks packed some heat. "Obachan, can I sleep with you?"
Mito laughs good-naturedly, sharing the teenager's pain, as she too, knows full well how Gon gets when he's in deep sleep as well. "Yes Alluka-chan, you can sleep with me." She then turns to the other three with an apologetic smile. "I'm sorry everyone, can you three sort it out for a few nights?"
"Well Gon kicks too," Killua drawls, pointedly looking away from Makoto with arms crossed.
"Moh Killua!" Gon huffs right back, unsure of what his best friend is insinuating. Killua's never had a problem with sharing a bed with him before. Granted, they've always had at least a queen to share, so a twin might be a squeeze, but still!
As the boys argue, Makoto feels Mito's gaze on her instead, so she says, "You can each take a bed, I'm going to sleep in the trees. The fresh air will do me good."
Killua chokes, arms dropping to his side as he turns to her abruptly. "That's not what I'm saying."
"I know, that's what I'm saying." The brunette replies quietly; it is her turn to look away. It isn't like Killua would have wanted to share a bed with her anyway, seeing as he won't even present her to his own sister, not to mention the grudge he holds for her moving out.
"Don't be ridiculous." Killua shots back with distain, visibly annoyed. But before he could make his true intentions known, Gon is cutting in.
"Makko-chan, do you want to share a bed with me?" The former assassin drops his composure.
That's not- "Wai-"
"Sure Gon, thank you." Makoto shoots the dark-haired boy a small smile. It doesn't reach her eyes, but it's the best she can muster. Killua is slowly killing her; she can feel it. Standing up and gathering all her affairs, Makoto excuses herself to bathe.
Mito-san is folding some laundry when Makoto gets out of the bath.
"They went to the forest without me, didn't they?" the brunette says matter-of-factly, receiving a weak smile in return from the older woman. Sighing, Makoto goes to hang her wet towel by the window and returns to Mito's side, picking up a shirt to fold. It's Killua's soft purple one; he must've changed out of the long-sleeve in favor of something that he wouldn't mind getting dirty in.
The women fold the laundry in silence, the only sound being the creaking of the floorboards above when obaachan moves.
"Killua-kun is important to you, isn't he?" Mito asks when she finally sets down the last of Gon's shirts.
"They both are," Makoto mumbles nonchalantly and commences to separate all the folded laundry into each person's respective piles.
"But in a different way," insists the red-haired woman, "am I wrong?"
Pausing, Makoto drops the shorts she is holding to pinch the bridge of her nose. She sighs audibly. "I don't know."
"Makoto-chan," Mito chides, and the teen can practically hear the you-can't-fool-me in her voice.
"It doesn't matter anyway. He and I are barely friends. I don't think he's said more than five words to me this entire time. Didn't you see? I wasn't even important enough to be presented to Alluka."
To Makoto's surprise, the red-haired woman's brows shoot all the way up to her hairline. "H-He didn't tell you?" Uh. Ok.
"Tell me what?"
"Alluka can't know your name. Not right away, anyway. Killua-kun must have wanted to make sure she doesn't ask you questions."
What. "What?"
Makoto watches Mito's shoulders drop.
She is in for a long night.
Ugh sorry guys, between work, more work, and my affair with writer's block, I must leave you here. Hopefully it's enough. Thinking about bringing Killian back in, because children can't handle feelings T_T
Do leave a review anyway, otherwise Killian Makoto and Meera might have a 3some lmao what
Tired. Ded.
Next up on Killua terribly handling the possibility of his bff's leaving him
