Anamaria
You'd think they'd have better sense then to take me on- all of them. They're all turning stark-raving mad! I'm not sure what it is, but shortly after I stopped writing, they all seemed to gang up on him. And they all stood against him. I watched them- they all talked to him at once. I heard shouts of "This is all your fault!" "Why did you do this to us?!" and multiple other things… some of them non-repeatable.
I walked over, and they continued yelling. "And you! This is your fault too! You're a woman! Females are bad luck- Gibbs said so and we didn't believe him, and now we are being picked off one by one!" I completely told them off for that comment.
"Shut up you arses! This is no more my fault then Cotton has a tongue!" One rolled his eyes, and yelled "Cotton does have a tongue, just not much of one anymore!!"
Then one of them hit William in the face, and he just stood there to take it- he didn't even flinch when he saw the fist coming toward his face.
He just took it, but he didn't stand back up all the way.
It was almost as if he was hoping someone else would hit him just as hard.
"WOULD YOU CEASE?!" I yelled, but "someone else" did hit him. And I acted as if a mother would. I hunched my shoulders around his head and held it to my bosom, turning away and glaring. "Hit me," I growled. "I dare you." No one took the challenge, but instead left us alone, and I took William below decks to clean up his nose, which was now bloody.
"And you were just going to stand there and take that? What is wrong with you, William? Talk to me!" He stared at me with the dullest eyes. In them, he seemed hollow. Most people convey an emotion in their eyes, whether it is sadness masked by a smiling mouth, or happiness… boredom, anything. But William's eyes had no emotion in them. And to be honest, that really surprised me.
"I am so tired… tired of everything. Of this life, of hurting. Of never being sure. I used to be the surest person… but now… I just never know! I really just want for now… for all this to disappear. For me to be the person- with the honesty I used to have…"
I smiled. I remember feeling this way- at first, after I'd become a pirate. I told him my past- which I suppose I will tell you now too.
"Aye. I used to feel the same… you know, I was a respectable lady in Port Seely. I was twenty-one, when my own port was invaded for the very same reason yours was. I am like an older version of Lizzey- I had a piece of the gold that I stole from my best friend. I thought he, too, was a pirate. And he turned out to be one. But not the way I dreamt. I was never taken to the Isle de Muerta, the crew that had previously stolen the treasure figured out what was happening before we left the port. They killed my best friend. I went to Tortuga, leaving my family distraught. I was in love with Benjamin- my best friend…thought I'd make a fairly good strumpet. Turned out after a night, I was wrong. Granted- no one knew it was my first, but something about it left me empty. But the man that I slept with… he showed me the freedom I was looking for. And the quench it gave me shocked me. I'm a pirate because of him. He took me on an adventure. I've only ever slept with that man. He showed you the freedom you were looking for."
William's eyes lit up a little. "Sparrow…"
"Aye. Sparrow."
"And you've told me this why?"
"Because Lizzey is nothing like me."
"I don't understand."
"Lizzey would die for you, William. She is not afraid to admit how much she loves you- not like how terrified I was to admit it to my father. He would have disowned me if I had told him how in love I was with 'that boy,' as he called Ben."
"She doesn't love me. I wouldn't love me after the things I've said to her. I've ruined her chance of having a proper courtship, now. I don't know how many people would be after her when we get back to Port Royal when they receive the news that she and I are no longer engaged. She'll receive so many calls she won't even remember my name in a couple of years."
"Yes she will."
"What makes you say that?"
"The regret I feel every day for not telling Ben that I loved him."
"Key word: loved."
"You're right. I don't love him the way I used to- he is not here to return my love for him the way a proper relationship would work. You and Lizzey have something special- she gave up her life for you- as you said, any chance of having a proper courtship. Because she loves you with a blazing passion that I'm likely to never see again. That is why she kissed Jack, William. That is why she betrayed you in the worst possible way- to heal you. She broke you to heal you. What a contradiction, am I not correct?"
"I'm not sure. AGAIN."
"She broke you- she hurt your relationship horribly, didn't she?"
"I don't want to talk anymore."
"Yes, well, you've got me going now, so no stopping until I say we're done."
"Okay, so she hurt me beyond emotional capacity."
"But she did it so that you and she had a chance to have your life together- to have that fiery and passionate relationship- so that your wedding night would exist and bind you together…"
He blushed a little bit- as if he didn't expect me to be so bold as to mention the possibility of them having sex. Because that would never happen- what? Does he think they'll just tread through their marriage and never lose their virginities? It had to be said SOME time, does it not?
"She broke you to heal you. And despite what you think she may feel about you- I can guarantee that she still loves you the way that I've grown to love Captain Jack. He's my Ben now."
"But doesn't that seem wrong- to replace Ben that way?"
"Is Ben here? Do you see him here to object with the way I'm living my life? No. Thanks to him, I've found who I will remain in love with. Who will not die without a fight as Ben did. I witnessed it. He didn't flinch. He didn't even glance up. He didn't hear my scream. He wasn't there for the next two weeks of sleepless nights. Jack was. I feel the way I used to about Ben about Jack, now."
"Are you telling me you're in love with Jack Sparrow?"
"Very much so. Why else would I be on this wild adventure with the rest of these crazy people? Do you think I like it? If so, you're sadly mistaken. I only love to sail under the command of Jack. Otherwise, I captain my own ship."
"Oh."
"William, I would like to share an analogy that I have recently come up with. And I realize that Jack is not likely to be in love with me the way I am with him."
His eyebrow raised. "Yes?"
"Jack's a ladies man. You're an Elizabeth man."
This seemed to sink in, and he leaned back in his chair, thoughts and emotions flitting by in his eyes. He stared to his right, as if he were trying to calculate something. It weirded me out, but after a few minutes, his eyes shifted to his left. This whole staring concept was just starting to get annoying when he smiled a smiled that I hadn't seen in ages. As if someone inside his mind had just said something too personal to repeat aloud, but funny enough to make one laugh when remembering it.
"Anamaria?"
"Yes?"
Then he said the simplest words that made me almost sing- I thought hard about jumping up and down and screaming, followed by dancing around in circles like a madwoman, but I decided that wouldn't be the smartest thing I'd ever planned. I need to go, so I bid you ado- but hear are the words he spoke:
"You're right."
-Anamaria
Hector
Anamaria appeared. She saved the day- I honestly don't have a clue as to why Gibbs would say she's bad luck. Never- never have I met a more "lucky" woman.
Someone to be there to pick up after the scoundrels who help run my ship- even I say they're pirates; and I know they are- but I mean as more than just their career path, I mean, to the soul, they are pirates.
Only pirates would gang up on an innocent woman like that.
And she is strong.
Ten times stronger than any male on this ship- we are all more vulnerable than any woman, though we refuse to admit such a thing in their presence. This is not a competition.
They win by far- they give birth to children.
And I thought I almost saw a smile on Turner's face today. A sad one, but one nonetheless- the first I've seen of one in weeks… he stared at his hands, and I think he may have been blinking back tears- his nose was running, and his eyes were glistening- around his eyes were red, as if he'd been rubbing them.
I think she's healed him. By God, she's done it again- that Anamaria really is something to keep around. I shall miss her when this is eventually over with.
Unless Jack trusts me again.
And then I would be under his command again. Which, to be honest- NEVER MIND, I'm talking walk-the-plank talk again. I should go before I say something I regret. Before I say something I won't regret.
- Hector
