Fun Night.

Mitsuru busted through the door.

"Okay everybody, I got everything, board games, snacks, movies, a free premium for Pornhub and Brazzers."

"A free what?" Kotori stood up.

"What? Anyways what do you guys want to play? Monopoly, Sorry, Uno, Apples to Apples."

"Apples to Apples, please." Yoshino and Yoshinon spoke up.

"Yeah I think Apples to Apples would be awesome, but I don't know how to play."

"That's okay, I can tell. Gather around, this is going to be great."

"So how do you play?" Kaguya asked.

"Okay, so this green card-" Mitsuru held up a green card that said "Scary". "- determined which card you should put down. For the red cards..."

He took out a red card that said "Orange". "You can have seven in your hand, if you have less, you can draw more cards until you get seven. The way you play that one person is chosen to be the judge for one round. The judge will place down a green card, and the other players have to place down a red card that matches the adjective the best. The winner gets the green card, ten green cards mean a win, and the judge is decided by the winner of the last round. Also, don't be the person to say that trash is expensive and a diamond isn't."

"Okay, so do we start now?" Shido asked.

"Mhm." Everyone drew seven cards and Yuzuru was decided as the judge.

"I hope we get good cards Yoshinon."

Yuzuru revealed the green card, slimy.

"Slimy? Ah! I'm going to win!"

"You probably will, I don't really have good cards." Kotori sucked on her lollipop.

"Results: Booger, Shampoo, Trash, Rat, Ice Pop, and Poop."

"Haha! Sorry, it was too funny to not put down." Kaguya laughed.

"Tohka, I assume you submitted Booger right?"

"Mhm? Do I win?"

Yuzuru gave her the green card.

"Yay, Shido I won!"

"Yes, you did Tohka." He gave her a pat on the head.

"I'm next right?" Yoshino asked?

"Mhm." Yoshino moved to the front and pulled out a card.

Cute. "Perfect." Kotori changed her ribbons from white to black with a red outline.

Everyone placed down their cards.

"Okay, so the cards are, Santa, Dog, Cat, Guy-" Her face when red a tiny bit. "- Clown Fish, and Cookies." She put down all the cards except for Cat and Dog.

"Yoshino, what's the problem?" Shido asked.

She looked back at the cards. Cats. Dogs. Cats. Dogs. She put down the card. Cats. "Yes!" Kotori raised her hands in the air.

"Should have known she likes cats," Mitsuru asked.

Everyone got their chance to be the judge 3 times and out of the 21 games, the first to get ten cards was Kaguya. Mitsuru came at a close second, followed by Tohka, Yoshino, Kotori, Shido, then Yuzuru.

Then there was a knock on the door. "I'll go get it." Shido stood up and head for the door. He opened it to find the white-haired Origami, standing outside.

"Origami?! Why is she here, Shido." Tohka walked up.

"How'd you get here?" Shido asked only for a large pot to be shoved in his arms.

"It's a soup I made."

"Are you not going to explain yourself?"

"I don't need to. Why are you here, spirit?"

"Well she kind of lives here, and don't. Your counter-argument doesn't hold that well."

"Well I heard you were having a Fun Night, but I must have missed the invitation."

"Yes, the invitation, that never existed."

She walked past him and sat down with the group

"Sure, why not. What do you guys want to play now?"

"Mitsuru, I'm kind of hungry," Yoshinon replied.

"Agreed: are there any snacks?"

"Snack!" Tohka yelled

He walked over to the oven and opened it, releasing a fume of delicious smells.

"I have roast potatoes with sour cream and onion dip."

Everyone quickly flocked to the table, taking a plate and taking portions of the potatoes and dip.

"This is really good, Mitsuru. How'd you make these." Shido asked

"I went to the farmer's market downtown."

"I have to commend you, for a spirit-"

"Shut up Origami, no one needs your derogatory attitude. Today's a fun night I planned for everyone, not a day you can ruin.

"Eat up and stop whining."


"Guys! I have a perfect idea." Kaguya said

"What's your idea. Shido could you bring me another lollipop, this one's almost done."

"No, Kotori, Eating too many is unhealthy for you."

"Awww, okay." Kotori slouched.

"What about Spin the Bottle, or Truth or Dare?"

"Suggestion: Truth or Dare."

"Yeah let's do truth or dare," Yoshino said

Everyone huddled together in a circle and started the game.

The first to ask truth or dare was Tohka

"Shido truth or dare?"

"Truth."

"Who else do you like?"

Everyone quickly turned their heads to Tohka and Shido.

"What...do you mean?"

"Who else do you like?"

Mitsuru spoke up, "How about we don't play this game, especially under these...conditions."

"Awwww, but it was getting so intense," Kaguya said.

"She is right, I wanted to find out the answer."

"And what if he didn't say 'Origami Tobiichi.'"

"Then he would be lying."

"Shut the hell up," Mitsuru said, in an annoyed tone.


"You guys want to watch a movie?"

"What kind of movie?" Shido asked?

"Soap opera?" Yoshino and Yoshino asked.

"Romance." The rest of the girls said.

"Soap opera and romance movies have enough in common anyways. I don't really have much since they aren't my type, but you might like them."

He laid down a line of DVD cases. "I think should pick this one."

"Nah, I like this one better."

"You certainly don't know what you picking, this one is the best."

"No, you so wrong!"

After bickering for a while, they finally came across one movie, "My Dream Girl."

"I didn't know a person like you would have this." Kaguya held the DVD.

"Me neither. I don't watch most of these films anyway."

They plopped on the DVD and turned on the TV.

Most of the movie was like a typical cliche romance.

Guy meets girl.

They find out they are the "perfect match".

They do stuff together.

Some kissing sprinkled in sometimes.

Maybe a time where the girl shows her boobs a little more than scripted.

Some events that almost ruins their relation only to be saved at the last minute.

"Yeahhhhhhh, that wasn't that good," Shido said.

"Bad choice, but now we know to burn that."


"I almost forgot. Want to hear a song?" Mitsuru stood up.

"What song?" Origami asked.

He walked out of the room and came back with an acoustic guitar.

"New Math."

"A math song really? We already know how to do math." Kotori said sitting on the couch.

He ignored her, got a stool and sat down.

"By the way, this song isn't made by me, got it from a comedian in the U.S., by the way, great comedian, his jokes are phenomenal. Kind of forgot his name though."

"How will we understand it if it's in English?"

"Would you believe me if I said we're speaking English right now?"

"What?"

"1 2 3"

He started playing.

What's a pirate minus the ship?

Just a creative homeless

And an anteater plus a largehungrymutantant

An Ironic way to die

"Mitsuru I'm starting to not like this." The puppet said.

And what's domain, domain, range.

A kid with too much in his pants

And two balls minus one

Seven titles at the Tour de France

"Cancer."

"That so clever," Kaguya said

"It gets worse."

Split a decision with long division

Take the circumference of your circumcision

Live like your data, and when you're all set put it all together and whatever you get

"New Math?"

It's New Math

Mitsuru gave a giant grin then a low laugh

And what's a bag of chips divided 5

Well that's a Nike worker's meal

Origami and Kotori looked at their shoes.

And Santa Claus multiplied by i

Well, I guess that makes him real.

"Any imaginary number times i is real," Shido said.

"So Santa isn't real?" Yoshino quietly asked.

And the square root of the NBA

Is Africa in a box

How do you trace a scatter plot

you give the pencil to Michael J. Fox

"That one I don't get." Yoshino. commented.

Take the approximate moral proportion of the probable problem of a pro-life abortion

"Question: what is an abortion?" Everyone turned to look at Yuzuru

"It's best you don't find out," Shido said.

Live like your data and when you're all set

put it all together and whatever you get

"It's New Math." Everyone sang.

It's Math

He paused for a little to get out a paper mask, with Shido's face.

And if you took a factor tree of all the factors that caused my girl to leave me, you have a tree...full of Asian porn.

"WHA!?" Kotori gritted her teeth and glared at Shido

"I don't watch that okay!"

"You better not."

He took off the mask

C-A-L-see-you-later, mathematical minds make industrial smog.

What's the opposite of ln(x)

Duraflame the unnatural log

"Ln(x) is the formula for the natural logarithm or log. Duraflame is an artificial, or unnatural, firelog. Therefore it is the opposite of the natural log." Origami explained to the group.

Support the farmers with a protractor

Link Kennedy and Lincoln to a common fact-OR

Live like your data, and when you're all set, put it all together and whatever you get

"It's New Math."

It's New Math

"Word problems, ready?"

If there's a fat guy in a pastry shop

With a $20 bill and he's ready to buy

In order to predict his volume change

You'll need to find the value of Pi

"Pie and Pi. Clever." Kotori remarked

And there's a metal train that's a mile long

And at the very back end the lightning bolt struck her

How long till it reaches and kills the driver

Provided that he's a good conductor

"Comment: the play on words is commendable."

Yoshino and Tohka didn't understand anything that was being sung to them.

And if 20% of men are gay

And 10% of men are Japanese

What are the odds the person chose t random, spends his free time and mealtime while on his knees

"2% right?" Kaguya asked

And if Kim is half as old as Bobby

Who is 2 years older than 12-year-old Tori

For how many more 30 day months

Will their threesomes be considered statutory rape?

"Okay, Yoshino is here, Mitsuru," Shido said.

"If the math is right. The age of consent in the U.S. is 16.

Since none of them are 16 yet, it isn't counted as statutory rape.

Only after Bobby turns 16 will it count as statutory rape.

By that time Kim, the youngest of the three, would be 9.

The threesomes would be legally statutory rape until Kim is 16.

By the time Kim is 16, the rest would be over 16.

16-9 is 7 years x 12 30 day months is 84 months." Origami

"Cus math can be sexy, right?" Kaguya joked.

Cus having sex is like quadratic expansion

If it can't be split then it's time to stop

And having sex is like doing fractions it's improper

For the larger one to be one top

That line got some giggles from the group.

Having sex is like math homework

He pulled out the mask again

I do it best when I'm alone in my bed

"Shiido." Kotori gave the menacing glare again.

"I uh-uh, Mitsuru stop using that stupid mask!" He pointed his finger at him

He laughed back.

And squaring numbers is like women

"How is that?" Origami asked

If they're under 13 just do them in your head

It's New Math

Mitsuru stood up and started to leave.

"W-wa-wait JUST a second. She's a whatever you call them right?" He pointed at Kotori.

"A spirit. Yes." Kotori asked.

"So you kissed your sister?" He pointed at Shido.

Everyone's faces all turned at them.


Credits to Bo Burnham for making the song New Math.