Well I have until Wednesday and then my summer vacation is over and it's back to school. I'm in the writing mood and since I didn't update for a week I'm going to be putting up a few chapters this week. They're also going to get longer, hope that's ok! And thanks everyone for the reviews, follows, and favourites!

I own nothing, the Vampire Diaries belongs to L.J. Smith and CW.

Elena's POV

Things are spinning out of my control and for the last 18 years I have always been a control freak. I can't seem to get a grasp on anything, which is dangerous when you live in a life like mine. I sit on the edge of my bed in the spare room at the boarding house. Having calmed down from my crying and minor freak out I came up here to avoid Damon. He had said he loved me again which scared me more than I let on. I could see the hurt in his eyes when he said it, as though he needed to get it out but the second he said it he regretted having to do it. I don't want to hurt them and I hate to compare myself to Katherine, but no matter how good my intentions are compared to hers I sometimes believe the results are the same. There are so many things I have to work out and being alone will help me.

I lay back on the bed and stare at the ceiling. First of all I have become a vampire which meant that I was going to have to deal with all of the training and issues which came along with that. Ric had died because of me and we no longer had to worry about the destruction of all vampires, which reminded me – what happened to the indestructible stake? I make a mental note to ask Damon about that later. Klaus made some kind of deal with Bonnie and is now in Tyler's body. Is Tyler really dead? What's wrong with Bonnie? How long will Klaus be in that body? Now that I'm a vampire is he going to kill me like he hunted Katherine? Maybe that's why she's here, and I make another mental note to interrogate her later.

Stefan and Damon are a larger problem than what I first thought. As a human I had basically been on the brink of choosing Stefan again, but there were things I was willing to ignore to make that choice because I was human and we were on the brink of death. Damon and I spent almost a year struggling to keep our lives together when Stefan just checked out. Of course I helped him and never gave up on him or blamed him but I still wonder whether anything can ever go back to the way it was. There were too many dangers, too many complications, and I had to change to face them. So where did that leave me with them?

This is all too much and I can't sit on the bed and get overwhelmed any longer. Bolting upright I almost fall flat on my face; this new found vampire speed is still strange to me. I decide to avoid Damon downstairs and leave from the balcony. I can hear him in the basement opening the freezer. Leaning on the railing and looking down at the dark yard below I realize that I haven't seen Jeremy since this morning. This is literally the longest day of my life. I test the strength of the railing then vault over it landing softly on the lawn below. I smile to myself and jump up from my crouch quickly; this could be easier than it looks. I start running, reveling in how different I feel but realize that I'm not sure where it is I'm going. I slow a little but in that second I decide that the first place I'm going is to the Grill and I'm going to buy myself a large glass of bourbon.

"Sorry mam, no I.D. no drinks." The guy behind the bar is a bartender I've seen around here once or twice but I think he's new. If Matt were here he would serve me, but Matt's still in the hospital from the crash and mentally I kick myself for not checking up on him. There is only so much time in the day – even for vampires. Frustrated I attempt compulsion on the bartender.

"I'm sorry I've forgotten my I.D. but you know I'm old enough to drink so you'll let me anyways. I'm always here, I'm a regular." I strain my eyes and try what feels somewhat natural.

He wavers a little under my gaze before letting out a loud laugh, which instantly brings the red to my cheeks. He picks up a dishtowel, "Lady, I've only worked here a few weeks but I've been a bartender for a long time and that's not gunna work on me." The burly man thumps back over to a pile of glasses and starts drying them and putting them away.

Well that definitely didn't work. Frowning to myself I realize that I should have just gone to the house to see Jeremy and forgotten all about this sudden whim. There are only a handful of people in the bar as it's only a Tuesday night but I can hear every one of their heartbeats. My throat has been burning painfully all night and this room is slowly becoming a stifling prison. I get up and leave, resolved to visit Jeremy instead.

Walking down the dark streets I realize that there is so much more to see in the night. I can feel the animals around me and the moon glows as if it has a life force of its own. I feel much more comfortable here than I have before. The wind blows in my hair and I can feel it go through every single hair on my head. I round the corner and stop in my tracks.

Beside me there's a tall building that has cast a shadow over the road. Beside it there is an alley and I can see a set of stairs descending into what looks like the basement of the large building. I can't see anything down the alley but I can smell him. The smell of blood fills my senses and makes my head swirl, I don't know why but I can just tell that it's a guy. I start stalking down the alley mechanically without even looking back. As I approach the stairs I start to hear quick breathing and see the top of a dark head.

"Holy shit! You scared me half to death." The man whirls around as he hears my footsteps and stares at me with wide eyes. I don't reply to him; the only thing I can do is stare at the large gash on his leg.

After a few deep breaths he calms down. "Sorry about that. I just didn't see you there, nobody comes around here at this time. I'm uh… fine really, I just tripped coming up the stairs. I was carrying some garbage to the dumpster. I live on the bottom floor." He points his thumb behind him at the basement door. He's nervous and rambling, I can tell and I try to force my tongue to work without breathing.

"Oh… Are you sure you're okay? You're bleeding pretty badly." I need to get out of here now. I can hear his heart pumping but all I can focus on is the blood making its way through the rip in his jeans. I want to rip this guy's leg off and sink my teeth into it. I shake my head and take a step back, I need to run now.

"Oh geez I guess it is pretty bashed up." He looks down and pulls at the piece of ripped jeans. This is the mistake of his life, as the blood gets free of the material and runs down the outside of his jeans soaking even more of his leg. This is the worst thing he can do. He doesn't even see it coming. I grab him by the front of his grey shirt, spin him and lift him a foot above the stairs. His eyes are wide and he chokes unable to scream, scratching at my arms, but that doesn't stop me. I pull him close and sink my teeth into the side of his neck. The blood is warm and flows freely, it is ten times more alluring than a glass of blood from a blood bag, it's basically tastes like heaven – or hell. It's like this man's life is flowing over my lips and down my throat. There's a quote from George R.R. Martin which states that a reader lives a thousand lives before he dies, the man who never reads lives only one. This comes to mind as I'm ripping at the man's throat and believe that I can taste the entire life that he has lived. Ironically I think that if I drank from a thousand men it would be a variation – although a very dark one – of that quote. My hysterical and murderous thought is sharply cut off.

There's a slam and I fly through the air smashing into the huge metal dumpster with a loud crash. Struggling to my feet and getting ready to defend myself I look up to see that I'm still grasping the guy by the shoulders. What… It's Katherine and she's inspecting the side of the guy's neck. I can still taste his warm blood. I sit back down on the ground, wipe my mouth and hug my knees to myself in an attempt to calm down and control my thirst. The horrible sensation of losing control has passed and I can feel my face changing back to what it should be. Mostly I'm horrified.

"Is he going to be alright?" My voice is barely a whisper and it hitches a little when I ask. I don't want to kill anyone. I take a few deep breaths trying to calm down.

"He's gunna be fine. Aren't you? You fell down the stairs and you hit your knee and neck. You're not going to go to the hospital because you know they will be fine. You'll bandage them up or find someone off duty to fix them for you. You won't remember me or my friend because you were alone when it happened. Now go inside." She finishes staring at him and lets go of his shoulders. He mumbles yes and turns around going back into his building, blood all over the front of his shirt.

"Are you sure he'll be alright? Why are you doing this?" My voice has come back a bit and I stare at Katherine. There's no air of arrogance or sarcasm on her face.

"You would have been upset if you killed him," is all she says. She turns to me and seems to hesitate for a second, and then Katherine does the most amazing thing. She pulls up her designers jeans a bit from her high heels and sits down cross legged on the dirty ground in front of me.

"I can't believe I did that, I could have killed him. I should have fought harder and just left the alley. I nearly ripped his throat out." For the second time today I feel tears on my face, I'm not embarrassed to cry in front of Katherine but I feel weak as a vampire in general.

Katherine gives a small laugh and I considered getting up and leaving, but when I look up into her face she seems worried instead of haughty. "No vampire your age would have been able to resist even entering the Grill with those humans, let alone someone who was bleeding. It's in their nature you know."

"You've been following me. Why? And I know it's in our nature I'm not stupid." Her tone is bothering me and the fact she is sitting here with me is starting to creep me out. I'm getting a strange feeling about Katherine and it isn't the usual hatred or annoyance.

"I said it's in their nature Elena; vampires."

Now she is really starting to worry me, looking at me and waiting. A bit of her usual arrogance has entered her tone.

"… yeah, vampires – like us." I say it automatically, hoping that this conversation will drop or that she'll stop acting so peculiar and just explain herself.

"You assume that we're vampires because we were turned by vampire blood. But even before we were vampires we already had a supernatural claim. We're not like witches, we don't just change from one team to the other." Her smirk appears and I attempt to take in the meaning of her explanation. "We're doppelgangers Elena, through and through."

Finally I understand the meaning of her speech and even the reason she's here. The unusual strength, apparently being able to restrain myself easier… I wonder what other things I have yet to learn about doppelganger/vampires. "What else makes us different from vampires?"

"That is what I'm here to teach you, you'd better get some paper because it won't be a short list."

And to think I started this night out with what I thought was an already impossible list of problems.

Damon's POV

She's been up there for at least an hour and I have no idea what to do about it. I pace back in forth in the living room imagining a little path being worn into the Persian rug. I'm on my fourth drink of the night and it really isn't working. I put my glass down and keep pacing. I shouldn't have said I loved her again, really I was only hurting myself and I'm not sure how much longer I can go on like this. She'd never once told me she loved me only that she 'cared for me,' but I had to be an idiot and keep saying it to her as if it would cure everything. She had been driving back to Stefan when she died.

I crush that thought and stop my pacing. I'm literally going insane. There were other things that mattered right now and this wasn't the time to check out and go on some emotional and philosophical bender. I'm not Stefan.

I decide it's time to check on her and make sure she's alright after her earlier outburst. She needed some time and I let her have it, but time was up and we had things to do. As I walked up the stairs I found myself wondering what it would be like if we had no problems in our lives. Maybe the only thing I'd have to worry about was finding a new drinking buddy and making sure Jeremy didn't burn down his newly inherited house. It was when I reached the top of the stairs that I realized nobody was up here. Running to the spare room Elena called her own I knew it was empty, but I had to check. The glass doors to the balcony were still open. Okay, calm down. She's a vampire now not a fragile human. She probably just left to check on Jeremy. Repeating this over and over again, I took off outside and got in my car.

When I got to the Gilbert house I was treated to the surprise of seeing Jeremy on the front porch with a girl. I parked down the road a bit and waited while they talked. Jeremy for once was smiling and the girl seemed to be pretty relaxed and happy as well. After five or so minutes Jeremy walked her to the house next door and started on his way back. As I pulled into the driveway I could tell he was already trying to hide his smile.

"Who's your new lady friend?" I ask immediately as soon as I've got out and closed the door.

Jeremy walks to the porch before answering me and I follow him up. "Her name is April and she just moved in next door. Nice to have someone around here who isn't trying to kill me." To be honest, I had been thinking the exact same thing.

"Yea well that's not what really matters." As we walk inside he turns to look at me quizzically. "What matters is that she's attractive." I smirk and walk past him to take a seat on the couch. As I look around I can tell that Elena's not here, I panic a little but for some reason sitting here with Jeremy isn't so bad and I calm down a little.

He laughs a bit before sitting down too. "If you're looking for Elena she's not here." He never misses a beat, and maybe it's because he's so alike Elena that he doesn't annoy me like most humans do. "I was hoping she'd be by sometime today. How is she?"

"She's good actually. It's weird but she'll get used to everything and being around here will help her out. I'm hoping we can figure out half of our other problems fast so she doesn't have to deal with them. Don't tell Stefan but I think she plans on drinking blood bags." I'm not sure why I let him in on that secret but these Gilbert's were always throwing me off.

"Yeah, I kind of figured she would. Well first I thought she would try Stefan's way, because you know, that's what she does." I know exactly what he means.

"When I find her we'll come back here and visit tonight, if you're not going to bed anytime soon. Maybe we can stay here tonight." I get up and walk toward the door, although I'm a little calmer and not hysterical about Elena – yet – I am worried. I'll call Blondie and Stefan, and if she isn't with them and they don't know where she is she has to be at the Grill or the hospital. My panic starts to set in again as I wonder about what trouble she might have gotten into. She's only just been turned and although she's a vampire now she's still our Elena, and just harming anyone would kill her. Before I reach the door Jeremy interrupts me.

"Um, when you do get back could you do me a favour? Not when Elena's around though and can you promise not to tell her? Please." I turn and see him staring at me a little awkwardly.

"And what's that?" Great, now I'm going to have to worry about Elena and some possibly dangerous master scheme that Jeremy is clearly planning.

"Uh…" He scratches the back of his head a bit and looks anywhere but at me. "Can you check out the girl next door and make sure she isn't a psycho or a werewolf or anything. Don't let on that you're doing it but… well I'd like to make sure and around here you really never know." He finally looks at me and smiles sheepishly.

I laugh and nod, "One background check, coming up." Now this, I can do.