A/N: One way to know I have a paper to write and am in the library with my computer: I update more than one fanfic in the same day. So anyways, I had some mixed reviews for the last chapter, I mean that quite literally on a couple of them. I find it interesting that some of you out there are still pro-Nair. I thought that was a dead ship. (Note to readers - I have the capacity to ship anyone depending on the characters actions/the storyline even though my primary ship on the show is Chair who I believe is completely endgame). I hope you all enjoy this chapter and if it isn't what you want to happen, don't give up yet there's many many more chapters to go in this fanfic and secrets and lies always get revealed in the end.

To my reviewers: Maggie Hu, thegoodgossipgirl, Lalai, ronan03, Juicyxoxocharm16, CarolinaGirl21, Sw33tHeart21, UnwrittenGirl, LitPrincess2787, luvs2shop721, batgirl2992, lcmeester, tvrox12, annablake, mrschuckbassx3, and addisonkarev knowing what you really think is important to me so keep it up.

Set: post episode 1.10 Hi, Society

Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN GOSSIP GIRL

Rating: T for mild language and sexual content

Gossip Girl: posts in bold -- narration in italics.


Blair opened her eyes, a strange feeling coming over her. Where was she? She asked herself momentarily disoriented. She tried to stretch realizing that she was tangled up in the naked body of her . . . Boyfriend. It was strange. The only man she had ever woken up with naked before was Chuck and it amazed her just how different their two bodies felt. Waking up in Chuck's arms always felt like they simply collapsed post sex intertwined with one another. With Nate it was obvious that post sex they had rearranged, they were cuddling.

For a moment Blair began to freak out inside. She wasn't sure what this meant and for the first time in her entire life she felt nervous about having a relationship. Somehow Blair Waldorf who was supposed to be an expert when it came to keeping a steady boyfriend yet here she was more scared after making a decision than she had been in her uncertainty. What if she had made the wrong choice?

Just as the thought entered her mind she felt Nate begin to stir. "Good afternoon." He whispered close to her ear.

Blair felt the tingles run up her spine as his whisper tickled her ear and her mind suddenly felt at ease. This was Nate, her Nate. She snuggled against him. "Good afternoon."

Nate's arms tightened around her. He could hardly believe that this was real. After so long, he had worried that when he and Blair were finally together, everything wouldn't be what they had always imagined. He had been worried that their present wouldn't live up to their past but for him it had exceeded the past two fold. Almost as though he had cursed himself, his mind began to open to the possibility that it hadn't been as good for her. After all, he wasn't Chuck; this was only his second time having sex. And Chuck was a sex god. He knew everything there was to know and more and Blair had slept with him more than once; no wonder he had thought it was so good. He was certain that in a comparison chart he would lose and without thinking he spoke. "Was I okay?" He asked softly.

Blair rolled over, assuming that she had misheard him. That was the strangest question she had ever been asked. The most startling part was that it was the second time she had been asked that after sleeping with a guy for the first time and she had only slept with two guys. Chuck had asked the same thing when they had finished in the limo and she had been so surprised that he of all people was insecure. Were all guys this insecure after sex or was it simply another characteristic of the guys she liked? "What?" She questioned as her brown eyes met Nate's own piercing blue.

Nate looked down embarrassed that he had asked but now exceedingly curious. "I mean, did I do okay."

Blair was shocked as she realized just what Nate was asking her and until that point she hadn't actually considered the fact that she was more experienced than Nate, much more experienced. She and Chuck had been together several times while he had only slept with Serena once and that was over a year ago. Nate Archibald was nervous just as Chuck had been but for different reasons. Recovering from the shock, she propped herself up on an elbow facing him and told him the truth. "You were perfect."

Nate couldn't fight the fear that she was placating him, trying to boost his ego. "Even after you've been with . . ." He trailed off, not wanting to actually speak Chuck's name. "I just don't want to be compared." Nate finally clarified.

Blair leaned forward and placed a kiss on Nate's lips. "Even after, you are still perfect. It was everything I ever imagined it would be. It's different with you and the first time I made any comparison was when you suggested it." Blair said truthfully. When they were together last night, she hadn't once compared him to Chuck which all things considered was surprising.

"Really?" Nate asked, still feeling unsure of himself. Where had this come from? He had never had problems measuring up to Chuck before, he shouldn't let it become an issue now when he most needed to withstand any comparison. Perhaps it was because he had always won in any comparison prior to now and this was Blair, she was more important than everything else. He was the more social, the better gentleman, the better boyfriend, the golden boy but now he was lying with the one person that might see things differently. He was lying with the girl he loved who last night had told him that she was going to pick his best friend until he changed her mind.

"Really." Blair replied with a smile. "I mean honestly, you weren't comparing me to Serena were you?"

Nate felt a warmth wash over him at her smile and then thought about what she said. He had once compared her to Serena, but it hadn't been a bad thing in the slightest. "Once." He said softly.

Blair's eyebrows shot up. "What?" She asked, suddenly a little worried. Nate's other sexual encounter had been with one of the most experienced girls in all of Manhattan and Serena had the best body of anyone she knew. Immediately she felt her stomach begin to churn.

Nate saw the panic in her eyes and regretted saying anything. "It's not what you think Blair. I only meant that one time while we were making love, you surprised me. Your amount of confidence in your actions reminded me of Serena but only because I remembered thinking how sloppy Serena and I had been, after all we were trashed. It's just your confidence and certainty of movement did things to me and I remember thinking that what Serena and I had done hadn't even been that good, just messy. I was thinking that you were better than her by a mile."

Blair spoke more out of surprise than anything. "You thought I was better than Serena?"

"Yeah." Nate replied almost sheepishly. He hadn't meant to say that but it was true. Blair had been doing everything passionately and deliberately. With Serena it was literally a messy train wreck on a barstool. After a moment she didn't say anything else so he spoke. "So we're really going to do this?"

Blair almost laughed at how child like Nate seemed. It had been years since he had been so open and vulnerable with her and she couldn't help but think that they were getting a chance at being a real couple for the first time and she could quite wrap her mind around the fact that he had said that she was better than Serena at sex. Of all things to finally beat Serena at she supposed that was a damn good one. "We're going to try." She spoke before leaning in and giving him another kiss.

Nate began to deepen the kiss, sliding his hands up her sides under the sheets, running his fingertips along her soft skin.

Blair felt her body responding, edging closer to Nate's when the clock chimed jerking her out of their dream world. "Nate, it's five. If we don't go downstairs soon, daddy is going to get suspicious."

Nate couldn't help but laugh, she was most likely right. "Okay, we'll go downstairs and make our appearance at dinner." He spoke disentangling himself and climbing out of bed.

Blair smiled, she always loved being right. Wrapping a robe around her lithe form she walked to the door and checked the hallway, where sure enough Nate's bags had been brought up outside her room. The sight made her laugh knowing that it must be Roman's doing; ever the romantic. Once both were ready Nate reached over and took her hand allowing her to lead him down the staircase and into the foyer all the way into the dining room where Roman and Harold were both waiting.

"Ah Blair Bear you've finally joined us." Harold spoke, sitting up and putting aside the paper. "Good afternoon Nathaniel." He spoke fixing Nate with a stern look.

"Afternoon." Nate muttered taking a seat at the table as Blair hugged her father.

Blair smiled. "Sorry Daddy, we fell asleep talking. Both of us had late nights." In the most awkward situation she would always remain poised. With that she moved to Roman whom she hugged, kissing on each cheek.

"Good afternoon my bella." Roman spoke with a smile. "How did you sleep?"

Blair smiled again in Roman's direction, he was doing his best to make this slightly less uncomfortable and she was grateful. It was simply strange the first time one's father was made aware that his daughter was a grown woman. "Very well Roman, thank you."

Harold tired of acting disapproving, smiled. "Good." Instantly Blair knew that all had been forgiven and he wouldn't say anymore about the fact that she and Nate had slept together under his roof; instead he moved on to a more pressing issue. "Now I know you planned to stay here until we flew to New York for Christmas but I spoke to your mother this morning." He saw the tense look on Blair's face and spoke reassuringly. "Don't worry Eleanor was quite ecstatic to find that Nate had joined you here."

"Then what?" Blair asked, confused at her mother's interference. She had come here thinking that her father wouldn't even notify her mother, which he probably wouldn't have if Nate hadn't followed.

Harold nodded towards Nathaniel. "She would like both of you, to fly home tomorrow in time to have brunch with her before she leaves for Milan in the afternoon."

"No." Blair immediately responded without a look a Nate who almost jumped in surprise at her quick decision.

Nate placed a hand on hers. "Blair, should we talk about this?"

Blair simply shook her head. "We said no parental involvement Nate. Brunch with my mother would be a disastrous start."

"You're right." Nate said sweetly and truthfully, leaning forward and placing a kiss on her neck.

Blair looked back towards Harold and Roman. "So no, I don't think that's going to happen. I'll call mother and tell her after dinner."

Harold turned his head slightly to look at Roman who gave him a slight shake of the head, yet Harold carried on anyway. "I had a feeling you might not want to return to New York but if Nathaniel is staying as well I'm afraid I am going to have to insist on separate rooms."

Nate who had been looking at his hands looked up suddenly. He and Blair had just gotten back together and Harold was laying down the law that there was to be no more 'getting together' in this house. To a seventeen year old a week of abstinence while living in the same house as his undeniably sexy girlfriend the day after they had slept together was a death sentence.

Blair's eyes went wide with surprise. She hadn't expected any further comment on the fact that she and Nate were well sharing a bed. Her shock caused her to speak without really thinking. "Mom wouldn't."

Harold was in turn was shocked at Blair's response. She rarely if ever contradicted him directly and he found himself replying in a similar tone. "Well I'm not your mother. And unlike your mother I don't want you married and pregnant with an Archibald heir straight out of high school." Even Harold was surprised by his words; Roman, Blair, and especially Nate were completely stunned.

"Daddy!" Blair responded awestruck by his last comment. In all her years she had never heard her father speak ill of her mom and something so tawdry at that. He had made it sound like her mother's one mission in life was to get her married and settled with Nate; which while it could be true for her mother was certainly not true for her.

Nate on the other hand didn't dare to say anything. He knew Blair's parents well and by Harold's words he could easily assume that Harold and Eleanor had shared words this morning concerning his and Blair's reunion. He also knew Eleanor well enough to know that she would like nothing more than them married while Harold wanted Blair to go to Yale and become a lawyer like he had. Nate on the other hand wanted whatever Blair wanted.

Roman saw trouble ahead. It was rare for Harold to have an uneasy temperament at all, only when it came to matters involving his Blair. So Roman turned to face Harold appealing to his ordinary romantic idealism. "But Harold, they are in love."

Harold looked to Roman, a sense of steel still lingering in his eyes but as they settled on Roman they softened and he realized his folly. He was being too harsh on the children. They weren't really children anymore and he needed to stop treating them as such; just as he needed to stop projecting his arguments with Eleanor onto others. He looked to Blair. "Just give me the illusion that you are sleeping in separate rooms. Please, Blair Bear, even though you're a young woman now, you're still my little girl."

Blair shot a thankful smile at Roman before running over and hugging her father; perhaps she and Roman could be friends after all. "Thank you Daddy."

For Blair and Nate, the rest of the week went by in blissful happiness. Any worries either of them felt at the beginning of the week were either silenced or eliminated all together as they spent time getting their footing in their relationship. Driving back into the city, they had never been more confident that their relationship was strong and could handle anything, even Chuck.

"Nate, you don't have to get my bags, one of the doorman can get it." Blair said crossing her arms playfully.

Nate turned and smiled. "I've got it." He spoke before leaning forward and placing a quick kiss on her lips. He was happy to be able to do something for Blair, even if it was as small as taking her bags upstairs.

Blair shook her head slightly, still smiling. "If you're sure . . ." With that she led the way inside, surprised but pleased with Nate. As they walked in the doors she hear her cell phone beep and looked down with her first feeling of anxiety about the fact that she and Nate had likely just gone public.

Looks like the Queen and King are back and better than ever this Holiday season. N and B seen exchanging a smooch outside of her building only moments ago as snow was just beginning to fall. C on the other hand has been quite absent from the social scene since his return, avoiding me C? Aw I'm hurt. But you can't avoid me forever; sources say C is currently camped out at B's apartment. Hope you like surprises B.

xoxo

gossip girl

Blair sighed and stepped in the elevator before flashing Nate the post. "At least we had some warning."

Nate nodded, nervously running a hand through his hair. He knew that if Chuck had the opportunity he could tell Blair about the deal that he and Chuck had made not to mention the fact that Nate's entire plea for getting her back was based around the fact that he knew where to find her. "Yeah, I guess."

Blair could tell that Nate was nervous and instantly felt a little guilty. He was worried what would happen when she saw Chuck. She reached over and took his hand. "Nate, it's fine. We are fine. Chuck's not going to change that."

Nate was able to warily return Blair's smile as she tried to reassure him, just as the door to her penthouse opened. Blair squeezed Nate's hand and stepped outside. "Just leave my stuff in the entry way." She spoke before turning into the foyer. "Chuck, what are you doing here?" She asked her voice not exasperated or angry, only sad. She knew that by making her choice she had to have hurt Chuck in the process.

At that Dorota appeared to get Blair's bags. "Welcome home Miss Blair. I let Mister Chuck in. Mister Chuck always treat Miss Blair well." As she spoke she glanced at Nate, her eyes scolding. "Better than Mister Nate did. Miss Blair not sick with Mister Chuck." Dorota said as she flitted about collecting the luggage and heading up stairs.

Blair sighed running a hand through her hair. Perhaps this was going to be more difficult than she had imagined, especially since she had always assumed that everyone in her life would have been against them if she had chosen Chuck. She looked to Nate who was slightly red with embarrassment. Blair placed a hand on his chest. "I need to talk to Chuck."

Nate opened his mouth looking as though he wanted to protest but Blair shook her head slightly. "I need you to trust me Nate." Once more Nate looked like he wanted to say more but with a glance at Chuck, then a glance back at Blair he nodded.

"Okay." He spoke, still nervous about what Chuck could say. But he had to trust Blair or he would lose her anyway. He saw Blair's eyes drift towards the elevator and he got the point. "Okay." He repeated before leaning down and placing a kiss on her forehead reminding her that he was the one who really knew her. "I'll see you later?" He asked.

Blair nodded. "I'll call you."

With one more nod and a last nervous glance at Chuck, Nate turned and walked to the elevator, leaving quietly.

Chuck had watched and listened to the entire exchange curiously. He could see that Nate was nervous; he should be. Chuck could ruin this. He knew that Blair had feelings for him and he knew that he knew her better than anyone. Ironically he also knew Nate better than anyone, so he knew that Nate had tried and was seemingly successful in convincing Blair that Nate was the one who knew her. Which Chuck knew was bullshit and best of all he could prove it.

Blair turned to face Chuck. She couldn't help it, she was nervous. Chuck was intimidating, especially when he isn't getting what he wants. "I'm sorry." She spoke with a slight shrug.

"So you picked Nate?" Chuck asked making sure he knew the facts before launching a plan of attack; no reason to go in blind if it wasn't necessary.

Blair exhaled. "Yeah I picked Nate." She wasn't sure what else to say. She could tell him why, she could say that she had chosen him but Nate changed her mind; but wouldn't that just make things more difficult? Chuck just needed to be able to move on and letting him know that he had stood a chance would just make him hold on.

When Blair didn't say more Chuck took a step closer. "Why? Why did you pick Nate after saying you just wanted to be alone to figure things out? Why didn't Nate showing up just piss you off?"

Blair could see it in Chuck's eyes, the hurt, the pain, and the confusion. He just wanted to understand why she hadn't chosen him. "It did . . . At first. But then I remembered everything that Nate and I had shared and I couldn't not give all of that another chance." Chuck looked put out, he looked like he was about to protest so she continued. "I know that you don't understand and you don't have to." Blair paused. "But you do have to accept it."

Chuck was still ready to end this faux-mance between Blair and Nate, regardless of her words. He had followed her wishes and done as she asked, Nate hadn't and the fact that the onetime Chuck had followed the rules, he had lost, pissed him the hell off. "Blair we share something too. I know you."

"So does Nate." Blair responded quickly, not noticing the way Chuck's eyes rolled; but it was what she said next that changed things. "I'm happy Chuck. For the first time in a long time, I'm happy. So please just let me have let. Let me have the chance to be happy."

Something about Blair's words, maybe it was the way she said them, hit Chuck in the gut and as he was about to proclaim that Nate knew her about as well as Nate knew the back of his head, his heart clinched. He couldn't do it. He couldn't do anything to hurt her. Damn it when had her happiness become so important that he was willing to negate any chance of his own. So he looked away, trying to hide the pain in his eyes before looking back. "Okay."

"Okay?" Blair couldn't help but respond, surprised that Chuck was giving in quite so easily. Maybe she had been wrong about just how attached to her he was, she couldn't help the slight sting she felt at that thought.

Chuck took a step backwards. "If that's what you want, then I'll leave the two of you alone in your blissful happiness."

"It's what I want." Blair said, speaking almost too quickly.

Chuck just nodded his head. "I'll see you at the Gala in a couple days."

Blair watched, still surprised as Chuck said nothing more and left her apartment. It was strange. He had done exactly what she wanted and yet she felt so sad at witnessing it firsthand. She walked up the stairs to her room slowly; all the way reassuring herself that she had done the right thing, made the right choice. It was best to let Chuck go and move on with Nate. Holding on would just make everything more difficult.

When she reached her room she found an arrangement of star gazer lilies. She knew that the lilies were from her mother before she touched the card, they were what her mother called, the aristocratic flower of innocence. Blair couldn't help but roll her eyes as she scanned the tiny words. Her mother was sorry she couldn't be home to see her and Nate but she was so proud of her. At reading those words, Blair couldn't help the clinch in her stomach that said that she and Nate might be together for the wrong reasons again.

That's when she spotted the other arrangement placed on her vanity; a colorful array of peonies. She walked over, lightly fingering the petals as she lifted the card from the holder. Her breath caught in her throat as she read and she couldn't help but wonder if Chuck was as over it as he really seemed down stairs or if he had simply been putting up a strong front for her sake. She read the card a second time to see if she had simply over-exaggerated Chuck's need for her.

Blair,

I've never felt the way I feel about you for anyone else. For me you're it. Please forget whatever nonsense you've been told and come back to me. I don't think I can bear to lose you, not now, not ever.

Yours,
Chuck

The way Chuck had signed the card made her heart thump in ways it wasn't allowed because she had made promises to Nate; promises that meant other boys shouldn't have this kind of physiological power over her. Chuck was proclaiming himself to be hers when she had promised Nate that she was really going to be his. Regardless, she had made her decision and she needed to follow it so Blair resolved to have the flowers tossed out . . . tomorrow. She wanted to enjoy at least one day of their loveliness. Almost as an afterthought, Blair read over the card once more.


A/N: Review please my darlings.

xoxo
kate