It's the next chapter. I'm dead-tired, but I really want to write this. Now. Before I forget my ideas that come to my willy-nilly. I don't think I've ever used that expression before.

I need to read more D. Gray-Man, also…so many things to do. But for now, I write.

Disclaimer: I don't own D. Gray-Man, and I'm too tired to think of anything clever to say.

Chapter Summary: The unstable roof. That's all it was.


At the precise moment Lenalee began to wake up, the roof began making hideous groaning noises, drowning out any groans Lenalee might have been making.

"Uh-oh," said Lavi, "I think it's coming down…"

And coming down it was. A piece of it fell directly to the right of Allen, nearly catching him in the shoulder. Luckily, for once, he managed to escape.

"Lavi," said Allen, panicked, "Take Lenalee and get out."

"Wait a second," said Lenalee, finally aware of her surroundings. "I'm not a sack of flour-"

She was cut off, however, by Lavi, who unceremoniously hauled her up and yanked her through the gaping hole in the wall, just before a large piece of the roof came crashing down in the space they'd been previously occupying.

"Come on, Allen," called Lavi, "Before you get buried under that garbage."

Allen made his way to the hole in the wall, leaving the zombies to their devices. They were undead; they'd be fine. Probably. Anyway, at the rate things were going that day, he'd be smashed if he wasted another second getting out.

Unfortunately for Allen, he'd wasted a few too many seconds already. Right when he was going to dash through the open wall, the roof decided it had had a bit too much, and, right there, it all caved in, burying Allen under the rubble.

As the dust cleared, which was sped along by the gusting wind, Lavi and Lenalee stared, sure they couldn't have just witnessed Allen being crushed to death by a falling roof. What kind of hero was defeated by a roof?

However, no matter how long they stared, the roof remained caved in.

Suddenly, a ripple of movement occurred in one of the corners, and the entire zombie horde stumbled out, largely unharmed, except for a few missing limbs here and there.

"We're okay," said the head zombie, waving. And with that, they made their way back to their graves.

Lenalee watched this whole scene with a look of bewildered horror. Allen being crushed by a roof, waving zombies, Allen being crushed by a roof…

"Oh!" she suddenly cried, "Allen's been crushed by a roof!"

Lavi sighed. "Guess we'd better dig him out…"

But Lenalee was already at it. In fact, she even had tears welling up in her eyes as she kept saying how it was all her fault and now a roof had finally killed Allen for good.

"Allen's not dead," Lavi reassured her, throwing a piece of sheet metal behind him, where it smashed into a grave. One of the zombies yelled at him to be more careful. Allen sure was an unlucky kid…but hey, if anything, at least he'd avoided that awkward conversation with Lenalee…

"Lavi!" wailed Lenalee, "Help!"

And so the two dug…and dug…and dug some more…he was really under there, wasn't he? Oh, but there…a flash of red…

"Oh my God," gasped Lenalee, "He's really dead!"

Lavi stared skeptically at the "really dead" boy lying before him. Well, it was true that there was an awful lot of blood…but blood loss never killed anyone, right? Maybe? Well, just to check, Lavi poked at Allen for good measure.

"Yo, Allen, wake up," said Lavi, poking vigorously. "Rise and shine. Wakey-wakey."

"If he's dead, poking him isn't going to wake him up," said Lenalee flatly. "Oh, his head's bleeding again…"

To be honest, pretty much everything was bleeding again; falling metal, such as what the roof was made of, is sharp. Sharp things tend to cause bleeding. Because of this, poor Allen's previously-white shirt was now hopelessly bloodstained and, while useful for Halloween, would probably never be able to be worn again.

"Look," said Lavi suddenly, "He's breathing. He'll be fine."

Sure enough, Allen was breathing. Lenalee gave a sigh of relief as she ignored that "I told you so" look on Lavi's face.

"Well, now what?" Lavi sat back, bored now that the excitement over. Well, it hadn't really been all that exciting, anyway.

"Well, help me get him out!" said Lenalee, as if Lavi should have known better. She was already tugging at Allen's sleeve, attempting to get him loose.

Lavi raised an eyebrow. "You're going to pull his arm off. Wait, wait. You have to do it like this."

And with that, Lavi took hold of Allen's other arm and began to pull.

Yank, tug, pull, it went, and it was a good thing poor Allen was unconscious, too, or he'd have had a whole other level of pain to deal with. Although then he could've told them that they were fairly yanking his arms right out of their sockets.

Luckily, Allen's arms remained in their rightful place, and, sooner or later, Allen was freed from the rubble, although he was still a bloody mess.

"Yikes," said Lavi, staring at Allen. He ducked as a sudden gust of wind threatened to blow his head right off.

"We should get out of the wind," Lenalee said, covering her face with her hands to avoid flying debris.

Lavi nodded. "Good idea." Standing up, he grabbed Allen by the ankles and began to drag him along.

"Lavi!" Lenalee exclaimed, horrified. "W-what are you doing?"

"What's it look like I'm doing?" Lavi yawned. "Getting us out of the wind."

Jumping up, Lenalee struggled to follow Lavi over the debri, wind blowing directly at her. "I really don't think you should be dragging-"

"He'll be fine," said Lavi, a bit too nonchalantly. He could've at least pretended to be worried…

At least they made it out of the wind, though, huddling against the behind the remains of the shack. Still, it wasn't the best of situations, what with Allen battered and bloody and no one knowing where exactly they should be heading.

"What now?" sighed Lenalee, examining Allen's head as it lay on her lap. How was she supposed to tell if there was a concussion? Was it even possible to tell? What if he was dying of brain trauma…?

Lavi sighed. He just wanted to go to bed somewhere warm. With pillows, preferably. And maybe a snack. And a hot bath. And-

"Lavi!" Lenalee broke into Lavi's thoughts of a more glorious evening. "We can't just sit here all night!"

They both looked at Allen, who still wasn't waking up.

"I really do feel bad for him," said Lavi thoughtfully. "But at least-"

"Don't you dare say 'at least it's not me,'" snapped Lenalee.

Lavi sulked.

Sighing, Lenalee absently brushed some hair away from Allen's face as she attempted to think of some way to make things better. So far, she was drawing a blank. And Lavi wasn't being much help, either, so she shot silent glares at his back as he sulked. Still, thinking about something, no matter how bleak it looked, was better than thinking of nothing, and especially better than thinking of what had happened earlier

**********

Allen blinked, momentarily blinded by the bright, cheery rays of the bright, cheery sun. For a minute, he was lost, completely lost in the voids of space. Soon enough, though, the whole horrible affair came rushing back to him in the most unpleasant manner.

There was the wind…and the inn…karaoke…the zombies…and then…and then what? He couldn't remember. Something awful, to be sure.

Shaking his head, Allen sat up. And that's when he realized something was horribly, horribly wrong.

Right there, staring at him intently with that bizarre grin on his face, was the Millennium Earl.

"Rise and shine, Sleeping Beauty," sang the Earl, tilting his head from side-to-side.

Allen immediately made ready to stab the jerk, but something was wrong. Even more wrong than the Earl being there. Looking down at his left arm, Allen realized something.

It was normal. His arm was completely and totally normal.

"W-w-w-w-what?" cried Allen, head about ready to explode. "What happened to my arm!?"

The Earl clicked his tongue. "Looks fine to me, you silly sleepyhead."

Somehow, the "silly sleepyhead" was even more bizarre than his arm being normal, and Allen looked up, dumbfounded.

"Come on," the Earl suddenly whined, "It's time for your dramatic adventure. You're already fifteen minutes late, Allen Walker."

"Fifteen minutes late for what?" said Allen, horribly confused.

The Earl shook his head as if wondering how Allen could be so stupid. "You're supposed to save the princess today, Allen Walker."

"Princess? What princess?" Allen nearly pulled his hair out in confusion. "What are you talking about? Where am I?"

There was a sudden knock on the door, and Allen finally took the time to survey the strange room he was in. It was…well, it was gaudy, to put it bluntly. Gold-covered walls, flowers…the weird bed he was in had a giant frilly canopy right over top.

"Come in, come in," said the Earl, hopping up. To Allen, he said, "I expect that's Sir Tyki with your assignment."

"Tyki?" gasped Allen. "Huh?"

The heavy ornate door swung open, and, sure enough, there stood Tyki, in all his purple-robed glory. Really, he was wearing a long purple robe, embroidered with little kitty-cats. And he was inexplicably on stilts.

"Sir Allen Walker," said Tyki, wobbling to-and-fro on his stilts. He glanced down at a piece of paper. "Today, you're supposed to…I can't read this handwriting."

The Earl bounced up and down. "Let me see, let me see."

Allen just sat there, petrified and dazed, as they poured over the piece of paper. So out-of-it was he that he nearly had a heart attack at a sudden noise from the huge gold-framed window.

"Peace," said Jasdevi, somehow balancing outside the window, which appeared to be quite high up. Guns had been replaced with long-stemmed roses, which they were sniffing serenely.

Although it's rude to stare, Allen couldn't very well help it. In fact, the only thing his overwhelmed brain would allow him to do was stare at the odd scene playing out before him.

"Well, up and at 'em," said the Earl, forcefully dragging the shocked Allen out of bed. "The convenience store opens at ten…and it's ten 'til!"

"C-convenience store?" was all Allen could manage to say.

Tyki, from up on his stilts, stared down at Allen. "What's your deal?"

Allen could have told Tyki many times over what his "deal" was. However, he had no idea where to begin, because everything was so screwed up in so very many ways.

He decided to start with, "Um, why are you on stilts?"

Tyki stared at him. "So I can be taller, duh." And with that, he stumbled out the door on his stilts.

"Okay, then, Allen Walker," said the Earl gleefully. "It's time for you to get going on your Weekly Amazing Quest of Awesomeness."

Before he could protest, Allen was horrified to find himself being dragged toward the window. By the time he got close enough to find out that he was on the 7th storey, it was too late. With a mighty shove, the Earl pushed Allen right out of the open window.


It's weird, I know. I have to split it up into two chapters because it's rather longer than I expected. Don't worry, it has a point. Probably. I needed to add something bizarre. LET ME BE.

I've been reading D. Gray-Man again, and it's just so exciting I could scream and cry and have a heart attack all at once, although I'll do none of those things. It'd be too disruptive. And if I had a heart attack, I wouldn't get to keep reading. It takes me so very long as it is…ah, but I digress. You don't want to hear me babble excitedly. :0

But now is not the time for me to turn into a bubbling fangirl. Really, I don't like to let people see that side of me at all. Sometimes I just can't help it, though…so I scream to myself. Out of joy and excitement. It's very fun. Anyway. Once again, thanks for reading, and please continue to read in the future!