The Voice of Reason
Disclaimer; all characters and copyright belong to SM.
A/N-thank you for the awesome reviews and for following this story!
Chapter Twelve
It was hard to for Bella to admit to Jacob what had been going on in her head the past few months. It was odd how much easier it was to tell Billy then his son. She wasn't sure why. Some of it was down to misplaced guilt about keeping such a huge secret from him and worry about him misunderstanding her intentions. They were back at his house, sitting on the old couch, holding hands. Billy had left the room discreetly to give them some privacy. He had guessed by the pensive expression on Bella's face that she was about to confess everything to his son.
"So, this voice that you are convinced is Rosalie has been manipulating you the whole time." Jacob said slowly as he tried to make sense of Bella's garbled explanation. "She pushed you to end things with the leech and encouraged you to start something up with me because she felt guilty over the phone call she made to the bloodsucker."
The way he summed it up sounded all wrong. He made it sound like she had no will of her own and that she had chosen to be with him simply because Rosalie had told her to. She saw his shoulders tense as he looked at her. He was trying to be calm, but Bella recognised the signs. He was hurt. "No, it wasn't like that at all." She protested.
"Isn't it?" Jacob questioned. He let go of her hands and retreated behind his Sam mask. "This is no different to when you told me you could hear the leech in your head. He was the reason you jumped off the cliff. Now you are telling me that instead of Cullen you've been hearing the blonde vamp instead." His tone was full of disbelief.
"You think I'm crazy." Bella felt disappointment flood through her. She had held onto the tangible hope that he would instantly take her word for it, that he wouldn't question what she was telling him. But she had been a fool to think otherwise. It did sound insane, especially when you added the fact that she had heard Edward's voice in her head before. Bella swallowed thickly and clasped her hands in her lap to stop them shaking. "Your dad believed me." She whispered forlornly. "He suggested that the voice was my guide, that she was showing me the right path. I lost my way for a while. I like to think she just made me remember who I really was. The voice told me before she left that while she was in my head that she was a part of me. Only when she disconnected was she herself again. So, I don't believe she manipulated me into anything. I am strong. I have a mind of my own." Bella raised her head and gazed at Jacob defiantly. "If you don't believe what I am telling you is the truth and that I came back to you of my own free will, then that is not my problem. It's yours."
Jacob stared at her for a long moment. The muscle in his jaw worked as he tried to sort through his emotions. She had confided in his dad. That was a huge thing for Jacob. He had to trust. He wanted to trust her. He didn't want to let old hurt get in the way of what they had now. He was hurting her now because he wasn't showing his faith in her. Jacob's expression softened as he reached out and hugged Bella. He felt her melt against him, her cheek pressed over his pounding heart. "I'm sorry, honey. Of course I believe you." His fingers sank into her hair as he kissed the top of her head.
"And you are certain Reason is Rosalie?" Billy checked. He rubbed his chin thoughtfully.
"I am convinced of it." Bella replied firmly. "Thinking back on it, the voice's tone reminded me of her. Some of the phrases she used." She smiled wryly. "And especially the sarcasm."
"Must have been fun." Jacob gave her a sympathetic smile. "It's bad enough having the whole pack sharing my head space. But at least when I'm human I can block them out. From what you're saying you had the blonde vamp in your head constantly."
"I did." Bella agreed. She blushed suddenly when she remembered what Rosalie had witnessed. No wonder the voice had protested loudly when she kissed Jacob. Bella had to stifle a laugh at the thought of what it must have been like for Rosalie.
"So you really think that this Rosalie has gone off to make amends for that phone call." Billy mused. "Are you sure you're not reaching a bit, Bella?"
Billy's question brought Bella's mood crashing down. She sighed, looping a lock of her hair behind her ear. "Yes. I am convinced of it. The last thing she said to me was she aimed to finish what she started and remove the wrong she inadvertently caused me. I have to stop her."
Father and son exchanged a knowing glance. Jacob put his arm around her comfortingly. "There's nothing you can do to help her, Bells." He broke the news gently.
"What? I have to. This isn't her fault. I understand now why she made that call to Edward. She guessed he was coming back for me. He told me himself he was on the verge of returning, that he was having difficulty staying away. She thought if she told him that I was dead that he wouldn't come back to Forks. There would be no reason for him to. She had no idea that it would backfire and make him do something so stupid like going to the Volturi." Bella cried desperately. "Don't you see in her own way she was trying to protect me back then too. I was just too caught up in my fairy tale romance to see the truth of it. I owe her."
"Bells, I understand your need to go after her. I really do." Jacob cradled her face in his warm hand. She was on the verge of tears. He had to make her see the reality of the situation. "But you can't. It's impossible. You don't know where she is. You don't know what she is planning to do. You can't save everyone, honey. You just can't. Sometimes you have to let them save themselves."
"Jake's right." Billy agreed gently. "I'm sorry, Bella. Your Rosalie obviously had good intentions and I doubt she would expect you to go racing to her rescue. Think of this another way. She has obviously been planning this for a long time. She is not alone. She has her mate with her. Whatever she is about to do she is not going into this blind. So, you have to let your guilt go. This is her decision. Hers alone."
Bella saw the truth of it. How could she not? But it still hurt. Somehow Rosalie and Reason had become tangled in her head. She hadn't been lying when she had told the voice that they were like sisters. They had reached a level of understanding that would never have happened if they had interacted face to face. Tears dribbled out of her eyes as she leaned her head on Jacob's shoulder and cried. There really was nothing she could do. Reason or Rosalie's fate was in her own hands.
Bella lay tangled up in Jacob's arms. Charlie was on a night shift so it hadn't taken too much persuasion for him to agree to her spending the night at the Black's. She hadn't openly told Charlie about her budding relationship with Jacob, she had a feeling he already knew but was giving her space to figure it out herself and tell him when she was ready. Charlie was more astute than she had ever given him credit for. Bella's head was tucked under Jacob's chin as he embraced her. She could feel his warm breath ruffling her hair as he breathed. He was deeply asleep. In a couple of hours he would be forced to leave her and join his brothers on patrol. But until then Bella was determined to enjoy this small moment of peace.
Her mind wandered as she thought about Rosalie and where she was now. Had she gone to Seattle like Carlisle had told them? Or was she really on her way to Italy like Bella assumed. She knew that the real threat to her future happiness lie in Italy and not at Victoria's hands.
"Are you safe?" Bella asked in her head. She didn't expect an answer but said it anyway. "I hope that you are. I really do."
The silence seemed extra loud. Bella heard the ticking of Jacob's alarm clock as it steadily wound its way toward the time he would have to leave. The window pane rattled in its wooden frame as the wind battered the side of the house. Dark shadows fell across the room. Bella snuggled closer to Jacob, seeking the security of his warmth. She couldn't shake her worry about Rosalie. She imagined all sorts of horrifying scenarios each one worse than the next. Bella remembered with frightening clarity her time holed up in the Volturi castle as she faced the leader's scrutiny. The screams of the dying tourists, sacrificed for the vampires bloodlust. She whimpered. Jacob instinctively pulled her closer to his hot body as he slept.
"Will you stop letting your imagination run away with you?"
The voice came out of nowhere, startling Bella. "Reason…I mean Rosalie." She said in a shocked whisper.
"It seems I didn't cover my tracks very well." Rosalie muttered sarcastically.
"I am so glad to hear your voice." Bella replied in relief. She sank back against Jacob with a big smile on her face. "Are you back in Forks? I thought I would never hear you again. I thought you had left me for good."
"I am just checking in." Rosalie drawled. "Making sure you are not doing something stupid."
"Can I see you tomorrow?" Bella pleaded. "I would like to see you face to face."
"You can't." Rosalie stated bluntly. "I'm not in Forks."
"Where are you?" Bella's fears began to ramp up again.
"I am staying in a very posh, very expensive hotel. Right now I am enjoying a late night manicure." Rosalie said carelessly.
Bella didn't believe a word of it. "You're in Italy."
"Where I am is none of your concern." Rosalie snapped. "I need you to stay focused. Trust in those who love you and be wary of those who try to own you."
"Why not just say that I need to stick close to Jake and ignore what Edward tries to pull." Bella replied sardonically.
"Where would the fun be in that?" Rosalie sneered. Her tone softened as she continued. "You are learning, girl. Your eyes have well and truly been opened. You are not as dumb as you look."
"Thank you very much." Bella muttered. She hesitated for a second, swallowing thickly. "Whatever you are planning to do, please be careful, Rosalie."
"You don't need to worry about me. Just concentrate on yourself. I have to go now." Rosalie said hurriedly.
"When will I hear from you again?" Bella questioned anxiously. "How are you even doing this?" Her only response was silence. "Rosalie? Rosalie?"
"Bells." Jacob said sleepily when he heard her cries. He raised his head to look at her. Her face was wet with tears. "Hey, it's okay, honey. C'mere." He gathered Bella up into his arms and held her tight as she cried.
A/N-thank you for reading!
