Book 2: Chapter 3

All the Special Days

Alethea had always thought that the soft layer of snow that blanketed the grounds of Hogwarts at Christmas time was an extraordinarily beautiful sight. Severus had his arms thrust deeply into warm pockets while Alethea, walking beside him had hooked her arm through his as they walked across the soft ground beside the Great Lake.

It was slowly dawning to those at Hogwarts who had not already guessed, that there might have been something going on between Severus and Alethea. While most of the teachers had been talking about it for more than a year, talk was now beginning to spread among the students. The majority of them agreed with Ron that it could have only have been a bewitchment or powerful hex that could have driven their beloved Professor Validus into the arms of the loathsome Potions Master. The students enjoyed talking about it as if it was some sort of scandal, but none of them were really bothered by it, after all it was still only rumour and no one could even remember ever seeing the two so much as sit next to each other at the Head Table.

As they strolled, soft snow crunched underfoot.

"Are you planning to stay here for the Christmas break?" Alethea asked him as she snuggled her cold face into his arm.

"Hogwarts is the only place I ever want to be."

"Really?" She looked up Severus; he was breathing out long clouds of frost from his mouth.

"Hogwarts is my home; it is the only real home I have ever had. I always stay here for Christmas."

"Would you mind then if I stayed too?"

"Why would I mind?" Severus smiled down at her.

It was only then he realised that they hadn't spoken before about their lives away from Hogwarts.

"Don't you have family you want to see?"

"They'll understand," she said pulling Severus' arm from his pocket and placing it around her shoulder. "I've got all I want right here."


Christmas came in a flourish of snow and tinsel and while the castle was splitting at the sides with festive decorations, Alethea had noticed that none had made their way into Severus' quarters.

On Christmas morning Alethea stirred sleepily beside Severus and moved to pull her legs free from his, not an easy task with the tangle of sheets, and in her frustrated kicking she had woken up Severus.

"Christmas," he murmured as if being woken up so early on any other day would have made it more acceptable.

"Is that a good or bad thing?" Alethea rolled onto her side to face him, twirling his black hair with a finger.

"Usually not," he smiled. "Today I will make an exception."

He pulled a hand from beneath the covers and put two large fingers to his mouth then pressed them lightly onto Alethea's lips. He then slid his hand down her neck, down between her soft breasts and onto her stomach. She breathed in deeply as his hands roamed lower to brush through the hair covering her damp opening. He teased her seductively, swirling his fingers up and down, around and over her as she tingled in anticipation. She leaned over to kiss him and as she did, Severus finally plunged his fingers into her, inciting a moan of approval. Severus was having fun playing her; reading her face as he thrust his fingers in and out, moving faster then slower. He was especially tantalised by how, when he stopped altogether, Alethea would open her eyes to find him smiling back at her. Severus crawled onto his knees and buried his face between Alethea's breasts, his tongue and teeth flicking sensitive nipples while his fingers flashed in and out of her with more intensity. He could feel her growing tighter around him and knowing that she would soon be reaching her climax, he pulled up higher to kiss her, his tongue mirroring the motions of his fingers until Alethea was convulsing, puffing breathlessly into his mouth.

Finally removing his hand from between her damp legs he whispered into her ear. "Merry Christmas."

Severus kissed her again then crawled to reach for his wand that sat on the bedside table.

"Accio present."

A small black box flew to him from the nearby bookshelf and he handed it to Alethea. She handled it with her fingers and looked at Severus who raised an eyebrow.

"Open it," he urged.

Alethea lifted up the lid of the box and sparkling from within, she pulled out a delicate silver necklace. The figure on the end of it with emerald eyes was a small doe. It stood strong and proud, a slight tilt of its head to the side made it seem somehow vulnerable, not unlike how she often viewed Severus.

"Severus, this… it's beautiful." She moved in to him and kissed him with appreciation.

He put a loving arm around her. "It seems like a lifetime ago that I was in love with someone else. She was all that I thought I had ever wanted, and for such a long time it had been true."

Alethea laid her head against his shoulder as he continued.

"Her Patronus was a doe, and ever since she died… as long as I've been without her, mine has also been a doe. I wanted to give you this," he took the necklace out of the box and hooked it around her neck. "Because ever since we have been together I have felt that you have saved me; you have rescued me from myself, from my anger and bitterness. You have given me a real reason to live each day."

Severus looked down into Alethea's eyes; tears were flowing down her face and onto her bare chest. He wiped them away from her cheek with his thumb.

"You said once that you could never find the right words to express what I mean to you."

Severus shook his head.

"You just did." Alethea smiled up at him and they kissed again.

When they pulled apart she asked, "How long did you know her?"

"My whole life."

Severus' eyes began to water and Alethea reached up to cup a warm hand to his cheek.

"What was her name?"

"That is a story for another time."

She let go of his face and bent down, pulling something out from under the bed. She placed the parcel, wrapped in deep red paper, onto Severus' lap and gave him another gentle kiss.

"Merry Christmas."

His eyes gleaned at her and he unwrapped the package slowly, as if it was Alethea he was undressing seductively. He finally withdrew the last of the paper to reveal a box. Severus opened it and looked inside.

"What is it for?"

"You'll find out later." She kissed him long and hard, her tongue stroking his. "Meet me at the top of the Astronomy Tower after dinner."

"Fine," he sulked pursing his lips.

"I need a shower," Alethea said and started to get up.

As she moved to get off the bed Severus grabbed her from behind and pulled her back down onto the bed and covered them both with the bed sheets.


Christmas dinner at Hogwarts was far more overwhelming than Alethea could have expected. The Great Hall was overflowing with decorations; tinsel, holly and candles were placed carefully throughout, making the Hall shine brilliantly. Alethea had made her way down to the Great Hall reasonably early and sat down next to Minerva. There were a couple of empty seats left, including one next to Alethea, indicating that some of the staff had chosen to make the most of the short break from school. Alethea had never seen so few students at the house tables but there were still a large number who had stayed behind. When the enormous feast appeared on the tables the students squealed with delight. Roast turkeys and vegetables of every shape and colour sat amongst huge bowls of trifle and plates of cakes, biscuits and chocolates. Severus entered the Hall and scanned the Head Table. His gaze flicked between an empty chair next to Alethea, and one on the other end beside Professor Sprout. He made his way to his chosen seat and pulled a plate in close.

"You look tired," Alethea leant sideways whispering into his ear.

"It seems I am not sleeping much these days."

"Funny that," she grinned taking a mouthful of pie.

As Severus scooped small servings onto his plate, Alethea noticed Gilderoy Lockhart scowling in their direction.

"What's the matter with him?"

"He thinks I am the one who put him to sleep in his mashed potato," Severus grinned.

"Is that so? Must be because no one would ever suspect me of doing such a thing."

Severus squinted at her. "I know. He didn't even believe me when I told him it was you."

"Thanks!" she said slapping a hand gently into his arm.

Throughout dinner, Severus had been bugging Alethea about his Christmas present, wanting to know what it was and when he could use it. Just like a mother with a spoilt child, Alethea patiently finished her meal while Severus squirmed beside her; she was enjoying teasing him – it wasn't often in their relationship that Alethea felt like the one in charge. After the feast was finally over, she stayed behind to talk with several of the teachers while Severus had dashed off for his present. By the time Alethea had wished a Merry Christmas to all the staff and many of the students and made her way to the Astronomy Tower, Severus was sitting on the floor outside rolling his eyes in frustration.

"I cannot wait any longer," he whined. "I have to know what this thing is."

Alethea sat down beside him and took the gift from his lap. She held the large crystal orb into the air and twisted it in her hand. Inside it swirled a deep blue mist, clouds of mesmerising haze that came from nowhere to circle the orb then disappear again. She handed it back to Severus and smiled at him.

"You haven't heard of an Erised Orb? It's like the mirror only better." She winked. "With the fabled mirror you can look into it and see what it is your heart truly desires; but the orb lets you experience those desires, to live them."

Severus rolled the enchanted orb in his hands. "Whatever I want the most?"

"Just look into it…" Alethea stood up to leave. "Let me know how you go."

Severus grabbed her arm. "Can you do this with me?"

She shook her head gently. "No. Come to my room when you are done."

Alethea left Severus sitting with the orb on his lap.


Alethea sat propped up in bed reading by the candlelight. A knock didn't come on her door for several hours. When it did, Severus entered with his head hanging low; it looked like he had been crying.

"Thank you for the gift, it meant more than I can tell you," he spoke solemnly as he sat down on the bed beside her.

Alethea put down her book and touched his hand. "Do you want to talk about what happened?"

"Not just now. Soon though." He picked up her hand and kissed it.

Alethea put a tender hand on his cheek; it was from the outside wind. Severus leant over and kissed her, parting her lips with his own. He ran a hand along her silk nightgown, rubbing his fingers over her breasts until he could feel her nipples harden beneath the fabric. He kept his hand moving lower down the silk, under the hem and back to trace the inside of her thigh. As his hand rested on top of soft hair, he felt her growing hotter under his touch. He bowed his head to kiss her, his black hair falling across her face as he softly inserted two long fingers inside her. She was kissing him back hungrily, fingers working frantically to undo the buttons of his jacket. As he worked his fingers in and out she finished unbuttoning his jacket and shirt then pulled them off his shoulders, her hands free to explore his bare skin. Alethea ran her nails softly across broad shoulders, down his neck and in circles around his nipples. Severus withdrew his fingers and stood; pulling off the clothes on his shoulder and undid his trousers, letting them fall to the floor.

Alethea struggled free from her nightgown as he climbed back onto the bed and pushed his thigh between her legs. He leant in harder and she rubbed herself against him, her moistness dampening his leg. Clutching her waist with both hands he moved her further onto the pillows and teased her with his erection, probing her but not entering. He flicked his tongue against hers then entered her carefully. Alethea kicked up her legs, crossing her ankles over his backside and pressed down firmly. Severus jerked his hips in slow rhythm, their eyes bathing in one another. He began to kiss her, biting onto her bottom lip as she arched her back and forced him further into her. Severus continued to slide into Alethea, each thrust driving him deeper inside. Severus could feel her pumping her hips lazily beneath him as he pushed in slow and hard then out again. Alethea used her ankles to push him at the pace she wanted, and now Severus could feel her pushing him faster and harder. He obliged and began pumping his hips into her with such pressure that the bed pulled away then slammed back hard into the wall behind it. Pressed between the mattress and Severus' sweating, heaving body, Alethea began to squeal, her half-muted moans of delight sending shivers up and down Severus' spine. Her body had just begun to spasm under him when he spilled into her, jerking his hips stiffly. He pushed up further onto his arms and looked down at the woman he loved. Alethea was smiling up at him, still struggling to catch her breath, and he swept down to press his lips into hers. They kissed for several minutes before Severus pulled out of her and rolled onto his back. Alethea turned and snuggled her head onto his chest, falling asleep to the rhythm of his heartbeat.


Valentines Day had never been a particularly festive event at Hogwarts. It wasn't something the students ever thought much about and the staff certainly didn't care for. The mere mention of the embarrassing day would usually deeply flush the cheeks of anyone at the school. On this particular February 14th, Severus went down to breakfast and was met by a Great Hall glowing feverously with pink balloons, streamers and an over-the-top feast. Severus' eyes flew over the room, as if he was trying to decide if he had somehow walked into some horrible alternate reality. He noticed that Alethea was already at the Head Table, looking intently in his direction wide-eyed and shaking her head. She was flanked on both sides by teachers who looked similarly grave, only Gilderoy Lockhart was smiling. He beamed stupidly as Severus sat down at the far end of the table. As soon as he sat Severus wanted to get back up and run from the room; Lockhart had launched into a speech to the stunned crowd about love and how special the day was. When he suggested that they should ask Severus to make them a love potion, Severus didn't know where to look, he just scowled angrily, eyes fixed blankly ahead. Alethea had her hand at her forehead covering her face, peeking shyly through her fingers. She knew that Lockhart's snide comments directed at Severus were a successful attempt to embarrass him because he saw Severus as a rival for Alethea's affections. She snuck a look at Severus who still had not touched any breakfast; he was instead fuming into a goblet of pumpkin juice. The introduction of a dozen message-carrying dwarfs proved too much and he pushed his way from the table to sneak out the door behind the Head Table.

Aware that Severus had snuck away, Alethea thought about following but as she pushed her chair back from the table, Lockhart sidled up to her.

"Ah Alethea my dear," he said smoothly. "I am offering you an invitation to dine with me tonight, I have organised a special and romantic meal for the two of us. You lucky thing, no need to thank me of course."

"I'm flattered Gilderoy, really, but I can't have dinner with you."

"Oh, well okay," he said looking rather affronted. "I do hope I can then have the pleasure of each others company tomorrow night instead?"

Alethea felt a slight twinge of pity for a man who was obviously used to getting everything he wanted. She placed a hand onto his arm.

"Gilderoy, I'm sorry but I'm not interested in seeing you."

"It's him isn't it? Snape." He spat the name as if it left a bad taste in his mouth.

Alethea said nothing, releasing her hand from his arm.

"Don't get too settled my dear, old Gilderoy can steal away even the fondest of hearts." He leant down to kiss Alethea's hand then walked away.


After a long day of classes Alethea was sitting at her desk in her classroom getting a start on marking the homework she had just collected. The door opened and a dwarf, sweating horribly from a hard day chasing students around Hogwarts, entered.

"Professor Validus?" the small man panted as he read from an envelope in his hand.

"Yes?" She stood.

He stepped forward and tossed the envelope onto her desk, turned and left without another word. Alethea took the paper and opened it carefully.

Alethea,

Please meet me at 8pm on the top of the Astronomy Tower.

I have something to share with you.

Love, S.

Three minutes before eight, Alethea walked through the Tower doors into the cool wind outside. She walked to the edge and peered over. Moments later she felt strong, warm hands wrap around her from behind.

"After all that talk during breakfast I'm surprised you used a dwarf to send your message," she turned to place a firm kiss onto Severus.

"I thought you might think it romantic," the corner of his lips curled slowly.

"So why did you bring me here?"

Severus let go of Alethea and took her hand, pulling her closer to the building. He sat down beside a stone ornament that looked like a bird bath, where inside a substance swirled in multicoloured clouds.

"What is it?" Alethea held onto the rim and looked inside.

"A pensive. Professor Dumbledore was kind enough to lend it to me tonight. It can show you into someone's memory."

Severus took small bottle from inside his robes and held it up for Alethea to take.

"In that bottle is my memory from Christmas night when you gave me the orb. I want you to know what I experienced, to see my heart's desire."

Alethea knelt down beside him and put a hand onto his knee.

"You don't have to do this Severus; it was something special, just for you."

"A special moment, yes, which I want to share with the woman I love," he smiled up at her.

Alethea considered him for a moment then stood again. "What do I do?"

"Pour the memory into the pensive then just look in."

Alethea did as she was told and poured the contents of the bottle in. She looked into the swirling colours and suddenly felt herself falling into the pensive. Before she could try to stop it from happening Alethea felt herself fall then hit the soft ground. It was grass she felt under her fingers, she stood up and looked around. She seemed to be standing on a hilltop. A little way from her was Severus; he looked a little younger and had a confused and angry expression. She noted that the young Severus was talking to Dumbledore. Alethea walked closer to them. They did not seem to know she was there. When she was close enough to hear what they were saying, Alethea listened intently. Severus was telling Dumbledore about a prophecy that he had overheard and told his master, Lord Voldemort about. He was devastated when he later discovered who the prophecy referred to, and that Voldemort planned to go after the infant Harry Potter and his parents. Severus seemed overly concerned that Lily Potter may be in danger.

Suddenly the world swirled around Alethea and she found herself again standing with Severus and Dumbledore in the latter's office. The Headmaster was looking solemn as he told Severus that the Potters had been killed but their son Harry had miraculously survived. Severus was clearly devastated, heartbroken. He looked torn between the urge to smash something against a wall and burst into tears.

The room swirled again and Alethea was outside, once again upon the hilltop. This time there was a bitter wind and a different figure standing with Snape. It was a woman, her long red hair blown about by the wind. The two were staring out into the ocean, rolling waves crashing onto rocks far below.

"Lily, I…" Severus was clenching his jaw, seeking the right words to say. "I have wanted so desperately to tell you… I need you to know that… that I am sorry."

The woman, Lily, took her eyes from the ocean. "Because of you, because of what you did I am dead, James too. You and your arrogance left my son with no parents, no family to love him."

Severus did not respond but looked to his feet.

"I don't know what happened with us, Severus. You lost your way and so many others have been made to suffer the consequences."

"I did not want you here to cement more guilt into my soul. There is more than enough already for a thousand lifetimes."

"What do you want then?"

He finally looked into her eyes. "That I was the cause of such… devastation… I will never forgive myself. I want you know that I did not know the prophecy was about your son. Once I discovered what the Dark Lord planned, I tried to get him to stop, I told Dumbledore so you… you could all be saved."

"Do you want me to forgive you? Do you want me to say that it is okay that you made a mistake, an error of judgement that cost two people their lives? You made the choice to follow Lord Voldemort. It was your choice and no one else's."

Severus dropped his head to the ground again as Lily cursed loudly into the wind.

"Lily," Severus' voice was barely audible above the wind and the waves. "I love you. I loved you from the first day I saw you in Spinner's End, have loved you every day since then. I regret that I never told you that, I regret that I lost your friendship; I regret that I ever had anything to do with the Dark Lord. I have been living with your blood on my hands for so many years now that perhaps even your forgiveness would not make any difference. Even a lifetime of good deeds done as Dumbledore's loyal spy will not heal the wounds that still bleed deep within me."

Alethea wished she could touch him, that he could hear her words of comfort. It did not matter because it was Lily that reached out for Severus, running her hand up and down his arm.

"Whether it matters or not Sev, I forgive you."

He turned to face her; tears were falling down his face.

"Lily…"

"Severus, what you have done in the past is long done. Those deeds were done by a confused man who was led far too easily by his anger. What you have done ever since reveals the man who you truly are. Severus Snape, my friend, I forgive you and I love you." Her eyes shone with her own tears.

Lily moved to stand in front of Severus and they leant into each other and kissed. It was a soft and timid kiss, lips and tears binding together. He pulled her in closer and the kiss intensified, Lily ran her hands up and down Severus' back. When Severus finally pulled away, Lily rested her head against his chest.

"Dumbledore entrusted the protection of Harry to me but I have not been a good guardian. When I look into his eyes all I see is you and too many painful memories."

"Do you need my permission to stop mourning me?" Lily asked. "No one will blame you for getting on with your life."

"I will never stop loving you, never. Though that love may have been juvenile, it was true and pure; that time was the simplest and easiest my life has ever been."

Severus stepped back from Lily and held her face in his hands. "I still love you Lily, do not ever doubt that, but I know I need to let you go now and although my heart has been captured by someone else, I will always carry my love for you with me."

He leant down and kissed Lily again softly on the lips.

Alethea watched as the vision of Severus and Lily slowly vanished and another took its place. This time it was Alethea who was in Severus' arms, they were lying naked together on the bed in his quarters at Hogwarts. The scene that played out before her was not one that had ever happened in real life.

"I am afraid that if you know about me, who I really am then I will lose you forever," Severus was saying.

"I know exactly who you are Severus. You're a man of deep mystery with a shady past. You're moody, passionate, intelligent and loyal beyond reproach."

Severus scoffed at her. "See how well you really know me then."

Alethea lifted herself to lie across his chest. "So tell me how I can be so wrong about the man I've fallen in love with."

Severus raised a hand and started drawing on her back with his fingernails. "I became a Death Eater willingly; I was happy to do anything the Dark Lord ordered. I only woke up when the woman I loved was killed, when it was already too late."

Alethea's silence prompted him to continue.

"I need to know that you will love me even knowing the man that I was, the things that I've been responsible for."

Alethea felt the room around her begin swirling again and suddenly she found herself back outside in the cool air on top of the Astronomy Tower. She looked around and saw the stone pensive beside her and Severus sitting against the wall, his knees pulled into his chest. He eyed her apprehensively. Alethea sat down beside him and rested her head on his shoulder.

"The things you did when you were a Death Eater… I know in my heart that's not who you are now. He's not the Severus Snape that I fell in love with," she looked up at him, her eyes full of tears.

Severus used his thumb to gently wipe them away and pulled her into an embrace before letting his own tears fall.

"Are you alright?" He asked as he moved to Alethea to help steady her.

"I'm fine," she said. "Just a little dizzy."

She held onto him tight and he stroked her hair.

"And the memories - were you okay about those?"

"Of course, they were your heart's greatest desire," she answered. "To get forgiveness from Lily, I understand it."

"And the second desire?"

"I'm not sure," she said. "It can't be me, you've already got me."

Severus smiled and hugged her tighter. "I desire your unconditional love. That you can know the kind of man I was and still love me."

"With all my heart," she smiled into his chest. "With all of it forever."

They stood in a firm embrace for several more minutes before heading down the Tower stairs and into Alethea's quarters.