BPOV
"So you love Edward, huh?" Charlie asked from the sink. I dropped my fork and glare up at him.
"What do you mean "you love Edward, huh?"?" I exclaim. "You're my father! You should be like; "You're only eighteen you're not in love", and "You can't date until you're thirty-five," and "You can't get married 'til you're forty!" and I'm supposed to say; "I can love who ever I want", and "I do to know what love is", and "I'm not waiting 'til I'm forty to get married!" I mean what kind of father are you?"
"I didn't know things between you and Edward had gotten so serious. I mean you've already talked about marriage? That's pretty impressive." He nodded and took a slow, deliberate sip of his coffee.
"You are a disgrace to fathers everywhere."
"Well, Edward's a good kid. And as long as he doesn't knock you up or run away with you, I'm good with you two dating."
"And the award for most guy-trusting-father goes to…Charlie Swan! Now Charlie, is there anyone you would like to thank?" I held up an invisible microphone.
"Oh this is such a shock! I guess I would have to thank Edward for being such a trusting boy and my beautiful daughter for falling in love with him," Charlie gushed, pretending to hold an invisible award.
"You are a major disappointment." I dropped the "microphone".
DING-DONG!
"Looks like Edward's here." Charlie placed his cup on the counter. "And I have to go to work."
"I don't see why he had to pick me up, Alice stayed the night," I grumbled.
"He just wants to see his looove!" Charlie held the word out in a sing-song voice.
"Oh, shut up and go to work already."
I walked to the door and saw Alice standing there with our backpacks, ready to go. I sighed and pulled open the door. When I saw him standing there, looking like perfection, my heart started to race. I tried to calm myself down as he took my hand and led me to his car.
The ride to school was silent. At least, Edward and I weren't talking. Alice was rambling on about something, I think it was shopping, but I couldn't keep my mind off of Edward. Eventually that led to thinking about kissing Edward, which led to thinking about doing other things…with Edward.
He reached over and took my hand. A completely normal thing for him to do. He did it all the time when we were in the car together. He knew it calmed me down. But today, it excited me. I wanted him to stop the car. I want to climb on his lap and…
NO! A second ago you were fighting with Charlie about actually being in love! So you are not allowed to have those kinds of thoughts!
I looked up at him as he drove. His hair was tousled into bed-head accuracy. His eyes so open and warm and caring. The way his skin felt next to mine. My body's reaction to seeing him, feeling him. I really did love him, even if I couldn't admit it to myself yet.
When we got to school, Edward opened the car door for me as I got my stuff together. We started walking toward a secluded part of the school, and away from Alice. He stood there staring at me for a while. I didn't mind. I liked looking at him, too.
"Bella, about yesterday…"He started. "Well, what I said…"
"Are you taking it back?" I asked. A part of me was hurt by that, a large part, almost all of me.
"No, I do love you, I always will, I just know that you're going through a lot right now, and this might not be the best thing for you." He held my hands.
"Edward, I…I…appreciate that. And I want you to know that I lo-lo-…" I took a breath and started over. "Love is a very powerful, pure emotion that I'm not sure I'm ready to handle, yet. However, it's also something that you can never really be ready for, right? Right, so I just thought you should know that I lo-lo-lov…"
"It's ok, Bella. You don't have to say anything until you know for sure that you want to say it." Edward hugged me.
"But I said it so calmly to Mike yesterday. And I do want to say it!" I nestled my head into his arm. I felt calm wash over me. I felt like I was home. "I really do, Edward. Even if I can't say it yet, just know that I do. I haven't felt this comfortable with another person before."
He placed a finger under my chin, lifted my head up, and joined his lips with mine. It was sweet and intimate and amazing. His hands stayed at my hips, not pushing me too far forward, keeping me at a safe distance. My hands, however, snaked into his hair and pulled his head closer to me. I pushed my body against him; it knew what the next logical step was.
"Bella, wait, we're at school." His breath was hard.
His words pulled me away from him. Taking two steps back, I placed my hand over my mouth as the feeling of Phil's violations intruded on my body.
"I'm sorry, I…" His lips, his touch, his body, they all flickered into my memory. "I just…"
"It's ok, Bella." Edward saying my name calmed me. "We're not used to this, at all." He wrapped his arms around me. I wanted to push him off, another man touching me was something I didn't need, but the peace they brought was so strong, I couldn't move them. "Why don't we take things slow?" I nodded. He kissed my head, and walked me to class.
***cCc***
All day I thought! I thought about my feelings for Edward. I thought about Phil! I thought about the way Edward's skin feels on mine, the way his lips are so perfectly insync with me. I thought about the way Phil felt against me. I thought about all the things Phil did to me, and all the things I wanted to do with Edward. My mind was racing with nightmares and fantasies. One second Phil was on top of me, hurting me and the next second Edward was just holding me, being there for me. I couldn't process this, not yet; I was too confused with what I wanted and what I've been through.
People were trying to talk to me all day. They continued to ask me question after question about where I came from, who I was, if I was dating Edward, why I hung out with the Cullens, where I've been for the last ten years. I didn't have an answer to any of it. I nodded or shook my head, I smiled or ignored them. But all day the questions came; friends of friends weren't getting the answers they wanted; they had to ask me themselves. Some people asked me the same question over and over again.
One person though stayed away, but he wasn't avoiding me, just giving me my own space to think things through. Edward didn't walk me to my classes, Alice and Emmett took turns for him. He sat next to me in the classes we did have together, held my hand, and smiled, but he didn't talk to me, not a single word since his "Let's take things slow" line. I wasn't sure I wanted to take things slow, and I wasn't sure I wanted to rush into everything either.
At lunch things were a little weird. Edward still didn't talk, though he sat right next to me, he just smiled and wrapped his arm around my shoulders when he saw I was tense. I smiled my thanks at him and leaned closer in to him. Then, about ten minutes into lunch, Angela walks up to the Cullen's table and the entire cafeteria went dead silent. Every face was on us and Angela.
She smiled shyly at my family, but focused her eye on me. "Would you mind if I ate lunch with you today? I promise I won't bother you." Her voice was soft and it shook slightly, she knew everyone was watching.
"Well, that depends," Alice asked with her eyes squinted together in an appraising way and her hands folded elegantly under her chin. Rosalie matched her position and the boys became very stone faced. "What's your opinion on Coco Channel's new line?" She held up one finger. "And if you can't answer that question, then what do you think of Bella and Edward dating?" The atmosphere became tense as they waited for Angela to answer, hoping that it would give them some clue into my family.
"Well, I can't answer the question about Coco Channel, I don't know fashion really well, and I think Edward and Bella would make a cute couple, if they decided to date." Angela shrugged shyly.
Alice looked her over for a few seconds, nodded, and motioned for her to sit down. "I can show you the fashion world like you will never see it again." Alice smiled, Rosalie relaxed, and the boys started laughing at the disappointed looking audience, who were obviously expecting more to happen.
Angela was a great addition to our table. She fit in well, and quickly took to my family. Angela allowed me the perfect distraction from Edward, and Phil, and the constant outsiders trying to get a peek into my life. Alice was trying to explain to Angela about the clashing of patterns when I noticed that our table was continuing to get glares from everyone, including the lunch ladies.
"Is our football team any good?" I asked Angela innocently.
"Not really."
What about our cheerleading team?"
"It's hard to show team spirit for a team that hasn't won a game in five years."
"Oh." I thought this over, let it sink in really deep and a plan started to form in my head.
"What are you thinking about?" Angela asked.
"When does football and cheerleading season start?" I ignored her question and asked my own.
"Oh, um, you had to sign up over the summer." She answered confused.
"Can you try out if you missed part of the year last year?"
"Um, maybe. That seems fair, though." She shrugged.
"And who are the coaches for both teams?"
"Coach Baker is the football coach and Coach Anderson is the cheerleading coach."
"Where can I find them?"
"In their offices in the gym."
"What are you planning?" Alice asked a little scared.
"I'm going to end this cold war between you and the entire school." I stood up and stomped off toward the gym.
"Why do I have this feeling that we're not going to like what she's planning?" Jasper asked as I left the table.
I found Coach Baker's office without much difficulty. I opened the door and let it slam behind me. An aging, but still somewhat good looking man sat at an old worn out desk, Coach Baker was written on a plaque. Coach Baker looked up from the papers on his desk, and instantly glared at me.
"What do you want?"
"I heard that our football team sucked majorly," I started.
"And who told you that?" He snarled.
"Does it really matter?" I raised my eyebrows at him, he remained silent so I continued. "Well, I've got three boys who were deprived of their chance to try out for the football team."
"I ain't gonna have no Cullen on my team!" He shouted.
"Why, because their Cullens?" I placed my hands on my hips firmly. "What if they could win you every game of the year?"
"I ain't gonna have no Cullen on my team." But his voice wasn't as convinced.
"If you let them into tryout, and they don't make the team, I'll do the team's laundry for the rest of the year. But they have to be given a fair chance."
"You're that confident that they'll make the team, huh?" He asked. I could see he was giving in.
"I think they deserve a chance they were never given."
"If there's any funny business, any at all, they're getting kicked off the team!" He warned.
"Deal!" I quickly shook his hand and made my way to find the cheerleading coach.
"Tryouts are tomorrow right after school." He shouted as I left.
Her office was two doors over. Coach Anderson was a young pretty woman with blond hair that went to her butt, but looked as if it was always pulled back into a hair ponytail. I knock on the door and waited for her to let me in. Unlike Coach Baker, she didn't glare at me; instead she glanced over me in a dismissive way.
"How can I help you Miss Swan?" Her voice was nice, but she had an extremely bored tone.
"I was wondering if maybe you could let Alice and Rosalie Cullen try out for the cheerleading team?"
"And why would I do that?" She looked down at her desk, like this was a waste of her time. I decided I need to change my tactic.
"Because I haven't even been here two days and they're the most cheerful and perky and outgoing girls I know. I know that they would be full of school spirit if only people would give them something to be proud about, if someone made them feel welcome here."
"Everyone in this town has tried to make them feel welcome; they ignored us and kept to themselves." She finally looked up at me, this time there was no expression, which I guess was a start in the right direction.
"I think that they should be given a second chance. I think that they are completely different people than the ones you think you know."
"Tryouts are tomorrow at four. If they are even a minute a late, don't bother to show up."
"Thank you!" I smiled and walked back to waiting family.
***cCc***
"I am not going to be a cheerleader!" Alice shouted.
"Please Alice!" I begged.
"There is no way that you are going to get me to wear something like that!" She pointed at the tight, short, blue and gold cheerleading uniform. "It's such an offending and unflattering outfit!"
"If Alice isn't cheerleading, then I'm not playing football." Jasper sighed, as he pulled Alice down in to his lap. Alice push his hands away, but didn't move from him.
"I don't mind the outfit that much, but I am not going to be the only cheerleader in this family!" Rosalie crossed her arms.
"Come on guys this is going to be fun!" Emmett pumped his fist in the air.
"That's the attitude I'm talking about." I high-fived Emmett.
"Why do you even care so much?" Edward asked.
"Because I think that this will help with the way the kids at school view you."
"It doesn't matter; they won't accept us, no matter what we do." Jasper replied.
"And whose fault is that?" I asked. "I never wanted you guys to become antisocial while I was away. I wanted you guys to move on and think of me occasionally." I sighed. "Now you've got to make up for it, or I will never forgive any of you!" I demanded.
"Fine, I were that stupid outfit, but only if you do it with us." Alice bargained.
"I'm not good with any type of sport." I defended.
"Well, you're just going to have to get good." Edward smiled. "Cause we're only doing this if you do this."
"I'm doing it regardless! It sounds like fun!" Emmett boomed.
"I never thought I would actually say this but, why can't you be more like Emmett?" They all just stared at me, silently telling me I had to do this. "Fine! I'll join to!"
"YAY!" Alice jumped up and hugged me. "This is going to be so much fun!"
***cCc***
"Hey Bella!" Alice called from the living room. She was staying the night again and I was cleaning up after dinner. Charlie left for some call for the precinct, and said he would be home late and to have dinner without him. So now it was just me and Alice alone in the house.
"Ya?"
"Do you have a pad or a tampon? If not I can call Rosalie to bring some over."
"No, I'm on the pill…" My voice drifted off as I realized I hadn't taken the pill in over three months. I thought about the last time I had my period and what time of the week that was. I thought about how much food I'd been eating. I thought about the last time Phil raped me. "Oh god no!" I dropped the plate on the floor, it smashed and scattered and I didn't care.
"What's wrong?" Alice ran into the kitchen, saw my shocked face and started to panic.
"We need to go to the nearest gas station!" I grabbed my keys and headed toward the door, carefully.
"Why? What's going on?" Alice ran after me.
"I don't know yet." I drove as quickly as I dared go.
When we reached the gas station I went to the fifth aisle and grabbed the first little box I saw. I threw a ten bill at the cashier and ran into the bathroom, Alice following close behind me. She was a smart girl and put things together faster than I thought possible.
"You don't think?" She said panicking.
"We'll find out."
I ripped open the box, read the instruction, performed them to a tee, and then waited for the results. One little pink line appeared, it was closely followed by a second pink line. I froze in shock. On though repeated on loop in my head.
I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant. I'm pregnant.
Only one other thought could interrupt this continuous cycle.
It's Phil's baby!
"Alice, I don't think I can cheerlead." I looked up at her with tears streaking down my face.
"Oh honey!" She quickly wrapped me in an embrace, but the only person I wanted right now, I knew I couldn't see.
So I was bored last night and I decided that I was going to write. I planned to write another scene after this but my dad got mad at me and told me to go to sleep. So I was kicked out of the den and the scene lost in my mind with the passing of dreams.
I only have three days left of skl (hopefully I can skip my exams!) so I should be updating faster once this week is finally over. I don't think I can post anything else this weekend, I have to write 2 essays, and I should continue with the 3-4 exam reviews that I have.
Until next time
Peace 8D
