FRIDAY AFTERNOON
29 JUNE 2001
HARM'S APARTMENT
NORTH OF UNION STATION

Mac entered the apartment, dropping her keys and purse onto the desk with a heavy sigh and setting her briefcase on the floor next to it. She had just finished a frustrating week at work – not all of it having to do with work itself - and wanted nothing more than to kick back and forget all about it. She heard Harm moving around in the bathroom and called out, "Harm, I'm home."

She moved towards the bedroom, unbuttoning her uniform blouse, stopping in surprise as she spied the open suitcase on the bed, his dress whites laid out in a dry cleaning bag next to the suitcase. Sure, they were leaving for Annapolis first thing in the morning, but they still had plenty of time to pack. "Harm?" she asked as she climbed the steps.

Harm stepped out of the bathroom, a toiletries bag in his hand. "Hey," he said with a welcoming grin, dropped the bag into the suitcase. Going over to her, he wrapped his arms around her, dipping his head to lightly brush his lips over hers. "Welcome home."

"What's going on?" she asked, stepping back to look at him. Suddenly, her brow furrowed in puzzlement and she glanced around the apartment. Jingo usually came to greet her as soon as she walked in the door, and with the turmoil that she was trying to drive from her mind, she had just realized that he wasn't there. "Where's Jingo?"

"Jingo is with Sergei already," he explained, "and this is a mini-getaway. Since you said there wasn't much going on at work, I figured you probably wouldn't be bringing any work home this weekend, so I called a few days ago and made reservations for us at the Marriott on the waterfront in Annapolis. I thought we could drive up there this evening and come back Sunday afternoon."

"But we're getting away next weekend for the holiday," Mac said.

"Yeah, but the entire family's going to be there," Harm reminded her with a shrug. "I thought we could take a few days just for us. I know it won't be much…." He trailed off uncertainly, looking past her to a point just over her shoulder.

She bit back a sigh. He had been pushing himself to recover, but there was one particular area where his body was refusing to cooperate as of yet. Although he tried to hide his feelings as much as possible and was just as attentive to her needs in bed as he'd been in sickbay on the day they'd married, she knew he was getting increasingly frustrated over the situation. She had been trying to assure him that it would be better soon, but she knew he wasn't entirely convinced.

It didn't matter to her, she had insisted one evening in an attempt to get him to talk about it. She'd wanted him to know that she was there for him no matter what, that she could wait until he was ready. He had looked at her oddly when she'd said that, and it had taken a few minutes before it had clicked in her mind.

What was I supposed to do?

Wait.

For how long?

As long as it takes.

Did he think that this was going to cause them to go backwards, back to the way things were? She had been afraid to ask the question, so she had kept silent. They might be married, but they were still trying to find their way with each other. She was afraid, too - terrified that something might still tear asunder the fragile fabric of their relationship. They were still walking through a minefield and the slightest misstep could cost them dearly. She couldn't take that risk.

"You know my feelings on the subject," she said insistently, taking his hands in hers and squeezing them reassuringly. "But maybe a change of scenery will be beneficial." She wasn't really convinced, had to push back the fear that this could blow up on them, but she found that she couldn't deny him when he'd gone through the trouble to plan this.

After a long moment, he brought his gaze back to hers and managed a weak grin. "Great minds think alike," he said.

"Just promise me you won't push it," she said, stepping closer and wrapping her arms around him, resting her head against his shoulder. It wasn't easy, especially when she would wake up after dreaming of their one night together and had to resist the urge to reach for him, to find that sweet, intoxicating pleasure that she now knew they could find together.

But his body had been through hell little over a month ago and this was his third ejection. No matter how much they wished it, he wasn't going to bounce back overnight. Now that he was well on his way to recovery from the head injury, he had started doing physical therapy for both his back and his knee. Back problems – and the associated complications – were not uncommon in a situation like Harm's, but the orthopedic doctor seemed confident that some back strengthening exercises would relieve the pressure on the nerves in his lower body and things would return to normal without other intervention. "Let's just enjoy this weekend and whatever happens happens."

Harm returned the embrace, squeezing her tightly against him. Working the muscles of his lower back with her fingers, Mac willed him to relax. Slowly, she could feel the tension leave him and he unwound beneath her touch, his arms loosening around her. "That feels good," he murmured against her hair, his breath against her sending shivers down her spine.

Reluctantly, she clamped down on the flame beginning to flicker to life inside of her. It wasn't time, not right now. It would probably only lead to frustration and a bad start to their weekend. "There's more where that came from later," she promised, looking up at him with a smile that wasn't entirely forced. If nothing else, he seemed to relax more when she gave him a back rub. It wasn't much, but she figured that every little bit helped. "So what do I need to pack for this weekend?"

Harm looked thoughtful for a moment then shrugged. "Casual clothes, mostly," he replied. "I thought we could spend some time wandering around the waterfront, and maybe go sailing Sunday morning before we head back. Some workout clothes and a bathing suit – there's a gym and indoor pool at the hotel. A nice dress for dinner tonight. Your dress for tomorrow, of course. I think that's about it."

"How nice are we talking about for dinner tonight?" she asked, glancing back at the closet. All of their dinners out in the last month had been at casual restaurants where they could make a relatively quick exit if Harm wore down, places where jeans and a nice shirt were perfectly acceptable.

"Like you might wear to La Tours, I guess," he replied. "The restaurant is partnered with the hotel, so it's on the upscale side."

"Then we definitely need to stop by my apartment before heading out of town," she said, taking a quick inventory of her clothes. "All my dinner dresses are there, along with my bathing suits."

"See," Harm said with a laugh as he stepped out of her arms and pulled a garment bag from the closet. "You really should let me get started on expanding this place then you wouldn't have to keep running over there." Placing it on the bed, he laid his dress whites in the bag. Retrieving a thin velvet case from a dresser drawer, he opened it to examine the contents, making sure everything was in its proper place. Snapping it closed, he tucked it into the suitcase and turned to Mac, who was watching him with an unreadable expression. "Do you want to put your dress for tomorrow in here, too?"

"Sure," she said, going over to pull the dress out of the closet, holding it against her body as she had when she'd first shown it to him. She had checked out her closet the previous week while picking up some more things from her apartment and had decided she didn't have anything she really wanted to wear to Skates' wedding. Dragging Harriet with her, she had hit the mall, finally finding a dress she liked – and that didn't set her back too much – in Nordstrom's. The full length dress of purplish-gray silk had a cowl-back which fell open nearly to her waist, exposing her back. A part of her had hoped it might have a certain effect on her sailor when he saw her in it. From what she could tell from the speculative gleam in his eye, he seemed to already be imagining her in it – or maybe he was visualizing getting her out of it.

She laid the dress inside the garment bag, trying not to muse it too much, although she guessed that the hotel had a laundry service and could probably steam out any wrinkles for her. She nearly jumped when Harm came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her waist. "Sorry," she said, covering his hands with hers, linking her fingers through his. "You just startled me."

"Sorry about that," he replied as she leaned back against him, tilting her head to she could look up at him. "You okay?"

"Yeah," she said. "I'm just ready to start the weekend and forget about work for a while."

Harm smiled down at her, a full-blown flyboy grin that had her falling so far that she was positive the only thing holding her upright was his arms around her. "Well, why don't you get changed and pack what you can then we can get going?"

Mac stretched up and gave him a quick kiss before slipping from his arms. Turning her back to him, she finished unbuttoning her blouse and pulled it off, her eyes scanning the closet. After she had finished removing her uniform and pantyhose, she pulled out a deep red silk blouse and put it on. Harm had expressed appreciation for the way it looked on her a few weeks ago after a dinner with his family. She'd had men tell her she was beautiful before, but this meant so much more because the words had come from him. She'd been so unsure for so long about his feelings that she treasured every little scrap of affection from him like she never had from any other man, even the one she'd nearly married. With a sigh, she pushed the thought from her mind and forced herself to focus on what to pack.

Completing the outfit with a pair of jeans and comfortable flats – since he had mentioned a walk later on the waterfront – she started going through her drawers, picking out clothes to pack for the weekend. Shorts and a couple of t-shirts joined Harm's clothes in the suitcase, but she hesitated when she got to the second drawer.

Should she go basic or fancy with the lingerie? On the trip to the mall, she had picked up a few things with a thought towards an eventual honeymoon with Harm, whenever that finally happened. Although he was unlikely to know the difference, she didn't want to wear for Harm anything she had bought for Mic. The things she had purchased to take to Australia were packed away in a box in a closet at her old apartment. She had also packed away the bikini she'd worn on the beach in Australia when things had begun to go disastrously wrong for them. The clothes could be donated and she'd figure out what to do with the lingerie and bikini later.

She glanced behind her, exhaling with relief that Harm was in the bathroom. She didn't need to explain this to him. Turning back to the dresser, she lingered a moment over a sheer confection of midnight blue, letting the silky fabric slip through her fingers as she imagined the look on Harm's face when he eventually saw her in it.

With a shake of her head, she let it fall from her hand and opted to go simple. If things worked out, she wouldn't be wearing anything for long anyway. If not….it would only be a frustrating reminder. She picked out a couple of nightgowns and some underwear and packed them in the suitcase.

"Hey, Mac," Harm said as he came out of the bathroom, "Where's your toiletries bag?"

She grabbed her overnight bag out of the bottom of the closet and retrieved the requested bag. "In my overnight bag, where it usually is," she replied as she tossed the bag to him. Harm laughed as he made an easy catch before tossing it into the suitcase.

"Doesn't look like your overnight bag is packed and ready to go," he teased, nodding towards the bag as she dropped it back on the floor of the closet.

A puzzled look settled over her face at the apparent non-sequitur. She didn't need her overnight bag….her expression cleared as she remembered. A warm, genuine smile spread across her face at the memory. "Between Skates' wedding and the upcoming holiday," she explained cheekily, "I didn't think the possibility of going out of town on a case was very high, so I haven't repacked it yet after my overnight trip to Norfolk the end of last week. I can't believe you remembered that."

He came up behind her and wrapped his arms around her, leaning forward to rest his chin on her shoulder. "I remember everything you say," he said quietly, his breath hot and sensual against her ear.

"Do you?" she marveled just as softly as she covered his hands with hers, reveling in the simple feeling of just *being* in his arms. She felt so comfortable, so safe, wrapped in his arm, his strong body surrounding hers, his warmth enveloping her. If only it was that easy, if they could just stay like this forever and forget completely about the outside world and the uncertainty still tainting their life.

"Of course," he replied, tightening his arms around her. "I always have."

It touched her, even as she admitted to herself that she was mildly surprised at this particular memory. Given his strong reaction upon meeting her and what she eventually learned was the reason for it, she was amazed that he could recall anything specific about those earlier hours and days of their partnership outside of the case, let alone a seemingly innocuous remark she'd made barely an hour after they'd met. She smiled as she remembered his teasing rejoinder.

Ah, I guess that's the difference between sailors and Marines. I keep golf clubs in the trunk of my car.

"What are you thinking?" he asked, his heart warming at the smile on her face. Smiles had become so rare these days from either of them. He remembered what she'd said that first day about there being so little to smile about. That certainly seemed to apply now. That was part of the reason for getting away for the entire weekend, aside from the hope that something might finally happen. Maybe being away from everything and being able to just focus on themselves without their reality weighing them down, they would find cause to smile. That had been one of the things he had missed the most the last couple of years, how easy it had been to find reasons to smile around her.

"Just remembering," she replied with a soft sigh. "We were so good together, even at the beginning."

"We still are," Harm insisted, slightly disappointed at the past tense, even as he recognized the reason for it. He hoped this weekend would help begin to put some of the uncertainty behind them. "I know it hasn't been easy the last few years, but that's behind us now."

Is it really, she wondered. Turning slightly in his arms, she locked her eyes on his, losing herself in the conviction she saw etched in their blue-grey depth. For just a moment, she found herself believing that it could be just that simple, if they just had enough faith.

Pushing the thought from her mind, she closed the short distance between them, brushing her lips lightly over his. After a moment, Harm's arms tightened around her, pulling her firm against him as he tugged at his lower lip, nipping the soft flesh as she moaned deep in her throat.

One of his hands slipped up her silk-covered back to tangle in her hair, the other cupping her denim-covered rear as the kiss deepened. "Sarah," he groaned between kisses growing in intensity. "Oh, Sarah…."

Even now, her first name came so rarely from his lips that she treasured every utterance of it from him, a pleasurable warmth spreading through her at the sound. Something tightened deep inside her and she sagged against him, the only thing holding her upright his strong arms wrapped securely around her.

"Oh, Harm," she said in a ragged whisper as she broke off, struggling to regulate her breathing as she rested her forehead against his. Gently, she stroked his cheek with her fingers, his own breathing as irregular as hers.

"I guess we need to get going," he said reluctantly, loosening his grip on her while keeping her within the circle of his embrace, "especially if we need to stop at your apartment." He turned his arm slightly so he could glance at his watch. "I did make our dinner reservations a little later than normal, but we don't want to wait too long before getting on the road. We'll probably run into the tail end of rush hour heading out of the city."

"You're right," she said. Much as she wanted to just lose herself with him right now, she knew it was probably too much at this particular moment. Her tongue darted out to moisten her suddenly dry lips, his glazed eyes drawn to the movement.

"We'll continue this later," he vowed, his voice shaking slightly as he struggled to keep his own emotions under control. His fingers untangled from her hair, tenderly smoothing down the mussed tresses.

"Yes, later," she said, nodding.

Reluctantly, she slipped from his arms, and glanced at the open suitcase on the bed. The moment between them fading, she closed the suitcase, slowly pulling the zipper closed. "I've got everything I need from here," she said, lifting the suitcase, leaving him the garment bag.

"Then let's go," he said, draping the garment bag over an arm as she proceeded down the steps. As she stopped to grab her purse, he scooped up his keys and opened the door, motioning her through. With a smile directly to her, he pulled the door closed behind them and locked it.

As they waited for the elevator to come up, Harm draped an arm around her shoulders, pulling her against his side. She let her head rest against his shoulder, once again losing herself in the simple sense of just being with him.

To be continued...


Author's notes -

I'd given you a little preview of this part after I posted part 11, but those events have been pushed back a little. First, I was having a little problem with writer's block (and returning to work on the 11th after a couple months on disability due to my neck issues), then Harm decided to inject himself in my story plans and wanted to do a little something for Mac when they get away for Skates' wedding. So this part and the next part will comprise Harm's little surprise for Mac, with the events surrounding the conversation Mac will overhear at the wedding reception happening after that in part 14. Also in part 14, we'll get more information about the frustrating week at work that Mac briefly thinks about in this part, which will partly play into decisions that Mac makes later in the chapter. There are some hints of Mac's inner turmoil in this part, which can be best summarized by a quote from Maria in West Side Story - "It's not us. It is everything around us." Unfortunately, that will change by the end of the wedding reception, with Mac beginning to wonder if maybe "us" isn't a large part of the problem. Remember, I previously said that Harm and Mac are experiencing both internal and external problems in this chapter, with the internal ones being the driving force behind the eventual climax.

And I'm not talking about the problem between Harm and Mac that I reveal in this part. I had debated about whether to include this or just let it go without explanation. It's not going to be a major plot point - so don't worry when you first read this part - and it will be resolved before the end of 'Lean on Me' (with the two additional parts that have been added here, and provided no other such interjections, it will be resolved in part 19). Finally, I decided to include it because even without the head injury he suffered, after three ejections, there are going to be physical repercussions from what happened, especially since Harm's no longer exactly a spring chicken. In the grand scheme of things, it's really going to turn out to be fairly minor compared to the emotional turmoil Harm and Mac will go through, but it's just one more thing that they have to deal with in the aftermath of the crash.

And speaking of parts, I did go back through my outline for 'Lean on Me' and redid the part breakup. This chapter will run approximately 30-35 parts. I still don't have an exact count because one section (between Harm's return to work after the inquiry and the beginning of the events leading to the climax) covers several weeks. I'm still undecided whether I will just have one part there which will basically be a recap of minor events during those weeks or whether I will break it up further into several parts and expound on some things. Like what happened here, Harm and/or Mac may decide to provide some inspiration to throw some more parts in there before the deluge begins.

Miscellaneous notes - I have been working on the next part of 'Searching For Sunny Skies' as I promised, but a small bout of writer's block has affected that story too as the part I'm working on has gone in a slightly different direction than originally planned. I have gotten quite a bit done on the part, but with the change from original plan, I have to make sure I cover all the points I originally wanted to cover in this part and that it all makes sense in terms of where the story is going and I'm still figuring out a little how to do that.. I still plan to have that up soon. It's just taking a little longer than originally planned. Also, last night, I had an idea pop into my head for a short story (two parts at most, one from Mac's POV and one from Harm's) that takes place post-Paraguay. I'm sure that surprises all of you, considering how you all know I feel about that storyline. My fandom of JAG still bears the scars of those events, unfortunately. Although I own the complete series on DVD, I have never even opened season 9 and have only watched one episode from the season 10 set (no surprise which one). This story will not exactly be a fix - in fact, it's pretty depressing the way it's playing out in my head and some parts of it even brought me to tears just thinking about it - but let's just call it my attempt at making Mac realize just how awful and ungrateful she was towards Harm in Paraguay (yes, I do mostly blame her - Harm at least at the excuse of being injured after the crash) and her trying to figure out a way to fix it with him and convince him that it can be fixed - he will not be so easily persuaded. I was having a hard time sleeping last night, so I almost started writing it out then, but decided to wait and see how I felt about it today. It won't let go of me, despite the subject matter, so I'll probably start writing it out as soon as I post this.