AN: This chapter is actually called 'Of Missing Objects, Phone Calls and Indigestion' but that title wouldn't fit on the chapter naming thingy. Sorry I take forever to update! I'm writing eight stories at the moment, but only three on this site. But anyway, Sadie bullied me into updating
Sadie: When are you gonna update the Eragon one? It's been forever!
Me: Well I have been busy with the GoT you wanted to be in.
Sadie: You need to update it soon!
Me: (shrugs) I will… after I've done the cliff chapter on the GoT one.
Sadie: (Sighs)
Anyway, I'm going on holiday for twelve days on Sunday and it's Fran's birthday in between now and then, so I probably won't update again until I get back! Yay! Holiday!
Oh, and I'm sorry if I've offended any ginger, Irish, British police or American police in the last chapter! I was only insulting Orik's poofishness and Durza's childishness. Who knows, he may actually dream of Gingerness like himself although he's not – his hair is actually red but yeah…
Disclaimer: Yeah, I don't own Eragon. I could have a sex change and call myself Christopher Paolini and I still wouldn't own Eragon.
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"Has anyone seen my mascara?" Orik asked, prancing down the stairs in a pair of pink cut-offs and tank top.
As he raced down the stairs, knocking Orik over at the bottom, Brom fumed. "Alright, who has my shoe?"
Murtagh came into the kitchen form the lounge, enquiring. "Where's Zar'roc?"
"Why has my shoe gone?" Brom interrogated Morzan and Durza, who were sat at the kitchen table.
"What did I do to deserve losing my mascara?" Orik cried, looking up at the ceiling.
"How did Zar'roc go missing right from under my nose? OH MY GOD! ERAGON!" Murtagh ran from the room, his eyes wide with realisation.
"When did this happen?" Selena asked, pointing to the pile of garbage, poking out from behind the door in a very conspicuous way.
Morzan whistled and edged behind Murtagh into the lounge. Durza shrugged. "Do you know who did it yet? Do you know who did it yet? Do you know who did it yet? Do you know who did it yet? Do you know who did it yet?"
Brom growled, launching himself at the annoying Shade sitting at the table taunting him. The pair landed on the floor with a thump, where Brom proceeded to beat him with his only shoe until the shade lost consciousness. Orik laughed but Brom sent him an extremely evil bout of Evils and the dwarf screamed a very girly scream before falling to the floor in a dead faint.
Sighing, Brom left Selena trying to clean up the humongous pile of garbage to find Murtagh. It took him a grand total of two seconds to find the red rider, who was in the hallway with a face like thunder as he dialled a number into the phone.
Ring, Ring.
Ring, ring.
Ring, ring.
"This number is in use, so is currently unavailable. Please leave a message after the tone. Bleep."
Murtagh growled, slamming down the handset. Brom sat beside him. The red rider muttered to Brom. "Stupid Eragon, with friends."
He picked up the phone again, this time pressing the redial button.
Ring, ring.
Ring, ring.
Ring, ring.
"This number is in use, so is currently unavailable. Please leave a message after the tone. Bleep."
"Hi Eragon, It's Murtagh. When did you get friends? Anyway, when you get this, call back straight away, yeah? Bye!" Strangely, Murtagh managed to keep his annoyance completely under control in the message he left.
He put the handset down and began to tap his fingers on the table. Brom blinked.
Murtagh sighed. Brom hummed.
Murtagh coughed. Brom sighed.
Murtagh blinked. Brom joined Murtagh in his finger tapping.
Murtagh joined Brom in his humming. Brom sang.
"CELEBRATE GOOOOOOOD TIMES."
Murtagh joined in and both began to clap. "COME ON! Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do. YAHOOOOO!"
Brom continued. "Do, do, do, do, do, do, do, do."
"YAHOOOOOOO!"
"CELEBRATE GOOOOOOOD TIMES! COME ON!"
"YAHOOOOOOOOO!"
At that point, Selena came in with two bin bags full of garbage. She raised one eyebrow at the duet questioningly then sniffed and tried to wipe a tear from her eye but failed due to the bags of rubbish in her hands. "Do carry on boys; that was lovely!"
But Murtagh had already picked up the phone and put it on loudspeaker. This time the dial tone had changed to a funny strangled beeping noise. Murtagh grinned.
"We have a message! I bet it's from Eragon!" He cried.
"You have one new message, and two saved messages. First, new message: Message received today at fourteen fifty two. Bleep.
"Hi Eragon, It's Murtagh. When did you get friends? Anyway, when you get this, call back straight away, yeah? Bye!"
Murtagh growled, throwing the handset down, which missed the machine by a few centimetres and meant that Murtagh had to pick up the handset and put slam it on the machine again. Brom was rolling on the floor in total hysterics.
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Groaning, Galbatorix swung out of bed and pulled on the dressing gown he had left on the floor by his pile of uneaten objects that he wouldn't mind eating if he got hungry enough. He could hear Brom laughing hysterically downstairs plus Murtagh yelling something about Eragon not having a mobile phone and really needing one, or at least a toddler leash! Galbatorix ambled downstairs with one hand over the painful area in his chest. Oh yes, he, the King with the iron stomach, had indigestion.
He passed Murtagh ranting at the wall and Brom rolling on the floor laughing at his feet, before settling in the lounge with Selena, who was watching a repeat of Supernanny. He groaned as he shifted to a more comfortable position in his chair.
Selena raised her eyebrows. "Everything alright, dear?"
Galbatorix nodded. "Yes, it's just a little bit of-" he grimaced at the word "-Indigestion."
"Why? What have you been eating?"
"Oh, I only had a little mid-afternoon snack."
"And what was that?"
"Erm, Brom's shoe, Orik's mascara, a broken curtain rail, a-"
Murtagh skidded into the room, cutting off Galbatorix' next words. "Oh please tell me you didn't eat Zar'roc!"
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AN: So, what did you think? I probably won't update again for a fortnight 'cause I'm going on holiday on Sunday!
Has Galbatorix eaten Zar'roc? Or will Eragon return with it? Where is Eragon? Has Arya run out of Popcorn? Will Brom kill Durza with his remaining shoe?
Thanks to all my reviewers! You people rock! I will try to update more often when I get back form holiday for you.
Please review :-p
