I woke up the next morning, the sun coming in through the window and I groaned. I clamped my eyes shut and snuggled into Jerry.
He was the big spoon.
"Morning Milton." Jerry murmured and I turned over to look at him.
"'morning." I murmured and he moved some hair out of my face.
"I'll get you some aspirin." He said before getting out of bed.
"Here, we'll get dressed and then head out." He said as he handed me the pill bottle and a bottle of water.
I sat in the car, my head on the window. His hand was on my thigh, but he was really quiet. I was wearing a pair of his sunglasses as I tried to get over my first and last hangover.
"Are you mad at me?" I asked quietly and he sighed.
"No." He said and I sighed.
"Promise?" I asked and he was quiet for a moment as we switched lanes.
"Yeah." He said and I leaned back over to get closer to him.
"I'll see you later." He said, kissing me as I leaned in the front door of my house. I wrapped my hands around his neck and tried to pull him closer.
"I'll see you later." He said as he pulled away and I nodded before stepping back.
"See you." I said with a wave and he nodded before going back to his car.
I ran upstairs and dropped on my bed. I grabbed my laptop and turned it on before skyping Kim.
"Hey Babycakes… how'd operation deflower little red go?" She said coyly and I groaned.
"It didn't." I said.
"Why? What happened? I thought you said it was definitely going to happen." She said and I shook my head.
"I puked on the carpet." I said.
"What did you eat?" She asked.
"A fifth of vodka. Okay, so like 1/3 of a fifth of vodka. The bottle was half empty and I spit up some of it." I said and she rolled her eyes.
"Why the hell would you do that?" she asked.
"Because, I heard that alcohol can loosen your body so that the first time wouldn't hurt so much… and I was kind of nervous." I said and she sighed.
"If you weren't ready Milton, you could have told him that." She said and I sighed.
"I was ready, at least… I thought I was… but then we went back to the room and it was happening and I didn't know what to do." I said.
"Well, what did Jerry say?" She asked.
"He just cleaned up my puke and put me to bed. Told me that if I wasn't ready, I could have told him. He said he wasn't mad, but I don't believe him. Jerry may be a good liar, but never to me. Not the important things." I said and she sighed.
"Why would he be mad at you? I mean, all you did was get drunk off your ass. I mean should he be mad just because you had to get drunk to have sex with him." She said my eyebrows furrowed.
"Oh my god, I did that. Oh my god, I'm a terrible person." I said.
"Uh, you think?" She said I sighed.
"He probably felt like he wasn't good enough. Jerry may act all tough, but I can guarantee if there is one thing he hates besides being called stupid, it's not being good enough." She said and my face dropped.
"I'm a terrible boyfriend." I said as I ran my hands through my hair.
"A little. But you don't know any better." She said and I nodded.
"How do you know?" I asked.
"Because, you're as painfully virginal as it ge-"
"No, not that. How did you know that you wanted to be with Jack?" I asked and she leaned her chin on her hand.
"Well, I was nervous, but I wasn't frightened. It was like the butterflies that you get right before a match. But not like one where you're going up against the biggest brick house they could find. Like a nice match that you are confident you could whoop ass in. I was in the bathroom and I just looked In the mirror and said to myself 'Would you want him to be the father of your child' when the answer was yes, I knew. I wouldn't do it if I didn't trust him completely with the life of our unborn fictional child." She said and I groaned.
"That's easy for you to say. I can't just say, 'Do I want Jerry to be the father of my kid'. I don't have a uterus to carry our fictional kid." I said and she groaned.
"If I were there, I would punch you in the forehead. I don't plan to just have Jack's baby any day now. I'm just saying, when you think about it, would it scare you to know that this person could be the one thing that could wreck your dreams? Are you okay with them changing your whole life? When the answer is yes, that's when you do it. Don't do it because you're super horny. Do it when you are ready." She said and I sighed.
"But I want to do it now." I pouted and she rolled his eyes.
"Instead of bitching to me, why don't you just talk to him about it?" She asked and I nodded.
I really needed to talk to him.
"Fine. I will." I said before hanging up on her.
We sat in his car before school.
Why would we go in?
"Jerry?" I asked meekly and he looked over at me.
"Yeah?" He asked.
"I'm sorry I ruined the weekend." I said and he rolled his eyes.
"You didn't ruin it. I didn't take you up there for sex. I just wanted a day where you were only mine." I said and I picked at my cast.
"I know… but, I just want you to know, I didn't get drunk because I couldn't bear to have sex with you because that is definitely not the case. I just got scared and thought if I drank, it would help."
"I know, but Milton, you realize sex isn't the end all be all right? There are things we could do in place of sex until we are ready to take it to that level." He said, grabbing my hand.
"Really?" I asked and he nodded.
"Yep. We could touch each other for starters." He said, his hand trailing down my chest.
"I could give you a handjob." He said, his hand resting over the button on my khaki shorts.
"Or, I could blow you." He said and I whined.
"Not before school Jerry." I said and he laughed.
"We could make it quick." He said, nodding towards the backseat.
"No." I said, pushing him.
"Come here." He said, pulling me into the front seat with him as he began to kiss me.
His mouth slipped down to my neck and I groaned as he gave me a hickey.
"I'm going to kill you." I said into his hair.
There was no real promise to that threat.
"Come on, we've got to get to class." He said, his voice deeper and I punched him in the arm.
"I hate you so much." I said and I sat back down in the passenger seat to calm myself down.
"Here." Jerry said and I looked over at him to see him holding out one of his necklaces.
"What's that?" I asked and he shrugged.
"Just a chain." He said, and I took it.
"Thanks." I said and he shrugged.
"No problem. Come on, we've got to get to class." He said and I nodded before putting the necklace on. I tucked it under my sweater before going to class.
I sat down with my lunch and Jack sat down in front of us.
"So, Prom's coming up." Jack said raising his eyebrow and Jerry bit into his half of my sandwich.
"Yeah and?" I asked and he shrugged.
"So… I want to know if Jerry's going to be bringing the mysterious girl that everyone's talking about?" Jack asked.
"What girl?" He asked and I looked down at the table.
"You know, the super attractive person that you are totally happy with. Or is that over?" Jack asked.
"Where'd you hear that?" I asked and Jack rolled his eyes.
"Around. Just wondering what kind of friend doesn't tell their friend who their dating." Jack said and Jerry rolled his eyes.
"Rumors Jack… rumors." Jerry said and he rolled his eyes.
"Whatever."
"Hey, did you hear that they're going to do away with pizza day?" I asked, trying to change the subject.
It worked.
"Alright, who is she?" I looked up from the grapes I had been sharing with Jerry.
"Who's who?" I asked and Jack rolled his eyes.
"Who's the girl who's making you crazy?" Jack asked.
"Uh, I don't think I'm acting crazy." I said, looking over at Jerry.
"Am I acting Crazy?" I asked Jerry and he shook his head before putting a grape in his mouth.
"Not you Milton. When it comes to girls, it will never be you." He said and I sneered but went back to my grapes.
"Who's the girl Jerry? I know it's someone. I'm not stupid. You've been acting crazy lately. You've been ditching me, your grades have been better, when you are with me, you're on your phone. You disappeared a whole weekend without even texting me. Who is it? I know you're seeing someone." He said and Jerry rolled his eyes.
"I'm not seeing a girl Jack, leave it alone." Jerry said.
"No! I gotta know. We're boys Jerry, you're supposed to tell me everything. Who is it? Who are you into Why are you hiding it?"
"I'm not into anyone. There is no one that I like, for fuck's sake." He said and I took a deep breath. My chest felt constricted. I stood up, wiping at my face.
"Shit, Milt." I heard Jerry say and I crossed my arms as I stormed off.
"Wait, will you stop walking awa- stop!" Jerry yelled and I stilled.
"What?" I asked.
"What's wrong?" He asked and I scoffed.
"Like you don't know. Then again, whatever, it's not like you were just hanging out with me for a month. Jeez, I'm glad I didn't have sex with you." I said and he grabbed my arm.
"Will you keep it down?" He shushed me and I rolled my eyes.
"Sorry Jerry, sorry I thought we were more than just… what exactly were we?" I asked and he sighed, scrubbing over his face.
"I was just saying that shit because Jack kept badgering me."
"You don't say things that you don't mean." I said and he rolled his eyes.
"Milton, I lie all the time." He said and I shook my head.
"Not to your friends, not to me. Not about something important." I said softly and he looked around before grabbing my hands.
"Milton, I like you. I really do. I… I just can't tell him." Jerry said and someone cleared their throat. He paled, snatching away from me and I sighed.
"You're a fucking idiot Jerry." Jack said.
"Actually, you both are." He said.
"What are you talking about?" Jerry asked.
"You two are obviously together."
"N-no… us-?" Jerry began.
"Shut up Jerry before you say something really stupid. It's freaking obvious you two are together. I don't know why you didn't tell me before. Like seriously, I'm your best friend." Jack said and I crossed my arms.
"I know." Was all Jerry could say.
"And as your best friend, you should know that I wouldn't give two shits who you're fucking. I don't care. I am actually so happy you two pulled your heads out of your asses, I just wish you would have told me." He said.
"I just… I'm not ready." Jerry said and I swallowed.
"I know, it's fine, I'm not going to announce it to the world or anything. It'd just be easier if you had told me sooner. Think about all the things I could have covered you for." He said.
"Not to mention, all the dates you've ruined" I said under my breath and Jack smiled.
"Oh that? That was payback. Like I've said before, there are brains under all this pretty." He said and I scowled.
"I knew it. I told Kim-"
"You told Kim before you told me?" He asked, indignant.
"We should probably go talk it out." I said, and Jack glared at me.
"You guys suck." He said.
"Well…" I said and he plugged his ears before storming off.
Jerry was quiet, his face stony.
"Hey, are you okay?" I asked and he sighed, rubbing his hands through his hair.
"Yeah, I'm okay." He said and I sighed.
"It's a good thing Jack knows. We don't have to hide as much." I said and he just shrugged.
Something sank to the bottom of my stomach.
Maybe it was actually bothering me that he cared that Jack knew.
