A/N: Hi everyone, sorry for not updating in a while, but my life has become rather hectic recently as I'm juggling two jobs and uni work. I'll try to keep on top of things as we go on, but updates might come a little slower for the foreseeable future.


Intermission I: Grief-stricken


Kamil

02/09/17


"This has got to stop" I heard the whispering from the other side of the door that I was sitting against, practically barricading myself away from the others.

I wasn't as pitiful as I probably seemed at the moment though, Valeia was in the room with me. Her presence seemed to help me keep in control of my alter, which, for the past few days had been almost impossible to do.

We - my alter and I - had taken very different methods of coping with the loss we'd suffered.

Clearing the rest of the base proved comparatively easy. There had been only a squad and a half worth of Asari left alive, and most of those weren't properly trained soldiers, appearing more like logistical and scientific staff than combatants. We still killed them all regardless of the uniform. They deserved slower deaths than what we gave, but none of us were really in any shape to prolong the ending to our outing.

The outpost was obliterated unceremoniously as we detonated the base's low emission reactor and the orbital defenses. Fortunately we had a mechanic with us to speed up that part of the mission. We were barely able to walk by that point, our bodies fueled by stims and our minds slowly cracking under the emotional weight.

It was once we were all back on the shuttle that everything seemed to just… fall apart.

Ben's body had been laid out on one of the benches, taking up that entire side of the shuttle and everybody seemed to just stare blankly at him. It was as though we'd been in some great big cosmic joke where we were the punchline.

I don't remember much of the journey back to the Citadel since time seemed to blend together into one long blank stretch. I do however remember Guy's reaction when we returned without Ben.

He was in shock for about an hour before hysteria set in. He kept yelling at us all, but I think he blamed me for his brother's death the most. I had been the one to push for this, I had been the one to get the information. It had been me.

I sort of shut myself away after that. Everything seemed so… dark and unforgiving and the experience that I'd had with the orb… it had made me feel so alone. I knew that I wasn't, I knew that I had friends, possibly even something close to a family here, but while the isolation that I'd felt when the orb had influence over me was comforting at the time, it was crushing now.

I grieved with the others for a day, we'd drank to their memories, told ourselves the truth - that they were already dead and we'd simply put them out of their misery. And after that everything goes dark.

I'd lost a few days.

According to the others it happened when we were on the way back to Victus' place. I just… stopped walking. I hadn't put up a fight when my alter surfaced that evening. I slipped under and I hadn't resurfaced until now.

The room I was in was part of a warehouse in the lower wards, pretty much as far away from C-sec as you can be on the Citadel. The warehouse was empty now, but a few hours ago it had been bustling. A makeshift barrier cage was central to the building, and I was currently viewing omnitool footage of myself inside the cage. A crowd of all kinds surrounded us, Krogan, Turian, Salarian, Human, several Asari and even a few Hanar with Drell escorts could be seen in the video.

A Turian was in the cage with me in this footage. We were both stripped to the waist, cloth bandages wrapped around our hands and feet as we circled each other. There was three days of recordings of me in the ring, fighting in the Citadel underground.

I watched myself wail on my opponents. There was nothing flashy about the way that my alter was fighting here. There was only pure, unbridled hatred and aggression. This opponent got the upper hand on me during the fight, his talons clawing my torso deeply. I watched myself retreat into one of the corners while he took the time to get the crowd going before he finished me off. I hadn't used my biotics in the fights before for some reason, perhaps my alter wanted a challenge, or perhaps it was because he'd been keeping them hidden. It didn't matter. Blood dripped down my chest from the gouges before a roar of defiance came through the din of the crowd, the omnitool footage zoomed in on me then, and I was glowing with biotic light, warpfire billowing around me as I cauterised my own wounds, fury colouring my expression.

The Turian turned in surprise at the noise that I had bellowed, and he took several steps back as I advanced on him. The crowd roared in what seemed like approval then, and in the blink of an eye I was next to the Turian, the short distance charge sending the Turian sprawling on the floor. The shockwave had hurt him badly but the fight wasn't over yet. As I stood over him, the crowd roared their choice, they wanted mercy. I could tell my alter didn't particularly care much for the crowd's opinion, especially so as he grabbed the Turian's crest and snapped a part of it off, the Turian passing out as I walked casually out of the now open cage, the crowd parting as I went.

That hadn't been the only fight that I'd come close to losing, though that was the first one that I used my biotics in. Each fight lasted a handful of minutes, sometimes they would be back to back, other times there would be large gaps of time where I was completely unaccounted for.

At least I know what I was doing when the fighting was on because of the footage. The rest of the time I'd gone dark, nobody knew what I'd been up to, and the only reason that they knew where I was now was because I'd resurfaced and reconnected my omnitool to the net.

I glanced at my hands, my knuckles had multiple lacerations, my fingers had a light coating of dried blood and I'd taped two of them together where one had broken during a fight with a Krogan.

"I'm… I'm sorry." I stammered the words out. They didn't quite seem sincere to me… maybe my alter, maybe some darker part of me had just wanted to cut loose and vent.

"It's alright, Greg. Different people deal with loss in different ways. Sel has had a new partner every night, sometimes more than one. Victus had to stop Clank from seeing the bottom of several bottles of Ryncol every night. You are not alone in this."

"Thank you, Val." I tucked my legs into my chest, my hands running idly down the cold metal, feeling the artificial muscles tense and relax on my command. "What happens now?"

"Well, if you will let us take you, we go home." Valeia stood from where she was perched on a crate as she spoke, sliding down the door next to me, pulling me into her side with one arm.

"I'm sorry I put you all through this." The words came out as barely more than a whisper, but this time I mean it, and I felt Valeia's hand run through my hair in response. "For all of it."

Tears threatened to fall from my eyes before I took in a deep breath and stood, pulling away from Valeia slightly as I did so. I noticed a small part of me felt slightly anxious at the lack of contact and I put a hand out to help her up, a wave of satisfaction passing through me as she took it, even if she dropped it again after a moment.

Together we left the small room, and I grabbed a small duffel bag on the way out. It was mostly empty now, but there was a small stack of credit chits inside, as well as the rolls of bloodied bandages that I'd worn. It had previously contained the clothes that I was wearing, once again fully dressed.

"Did you really have to come all the way out here?" James asked as he looked around the area surrounding the warehouse once we were outside. "It's a bit of a shithole." The statement seemed to ease a bit of the tension that I was feeling, a light chuckle coming from Valeia's lips.

"Hey, don't ask me, ask… well… me I guess." The joke was dumb but the short burst of laughter that it received lifted my spirits somewhat.

"I'm glad you're alright Greg." Tom said, pulling me into a short hug before he jerked his head at James and we set off.

Tom and James walked slightly ahead of myself and Valeia, carving a path through the crowd as we reached the more populated areas. They were subtly keeping people out of my and Valeia's way which was probably for the best. My alter had been in control of my body for over three days, and while I didn't know if he got tired in the same way I did, I didn't want to risk one of the seedier citizens inciting something and having him come out again just after I'd regained control.

The four of us piled into a sky car at a rapid transit station in a nearby market and took off for our local ward. The car was quiet, and I could feel Tom's eyes glancing at me every so often from his spot in the front of the car, but after a couple of minutes I closed my own and tried to just relax for a bit.

My whole body felt sore, I was hungry, wounded, and in desperate need of a shower.

Everyone bar Guy and Sibus was in the apartment when we got in. Victus had a sad look in his eye, and I did my best not to crumble beneath his gaze. He gave me a nod and his mandibles quivered slightly. I wasn't sure what that meant, but it seemed reassuring, if a little disappointed.

"Where did you go?" and "What happened?" were the main questions that I was bombarded with. I knew to expect all the questions, but I still felt a little bubble of frustration rise up in me. I'd never really enjoyed being the center of attention, and even though I knew it would happen it wasn't something that I particularly wanted.

"I… I went into underground fighting." I shrugged, wincing slightly as the motion twinged the muscles in my shoulder. "Apparently my alter had some things he needed to work out. Who knew he'd be so good in the ring?" I joked.

Nobody laughed, instead I mostly got looks of pity, which wasn't what I wanted at all, so I made the excuse of going to get cleaned up and left.

I spent maybe a little too long in the shower that time, I'd sat down on the floor and leant back against the wall as the water crashed down on me. The steady beating that the hot water was giving me relaxing my taut and overused muscles. The water washing off of me had turned a murky brown colour as all the crud that had build up over the past few days was wiped away.

I stuck my finger in the seals on my legs to remove some of the dirt that had accrued there and watched it go down the drain. Somehow everything seemed that little bit darker. Thoughts of Guy played through my head of when we told him what had happened.

I knew he didn't really blame me for his brother's death, but his words still resonated with me because there would always be a part of me that blamed myself for his death. As much as I knew it wasn't true, there would always be that voice in the back of my head that said 'what if?'.

I turned the water off and the steam slowly drifted out of the room as I dried myself. I caught a glimpse of myself and barely recognised what I saw.

My muscles were knotted and wounds that shouldn't have existed riddled my body in various stages of healing, though almost all of them were still angry and red. Stubble marred my jaw and I rubbed it, feeling the contours and gently massaging my chin. My hair had grown long in the time I'd been here, I'd need to get it cut soon to stop it falling into my eyes.

They held me the longest.

They'd always been interesting - or so I've been told at least. From a distance they could look like cold steel, but when you looked closely they were green with flecks of brown. They looked somewhat dull now, the blue-grey appearance they took on was now visible even as I leaned in.

I sighed heavily as I leant back and looked down into the sink.

I was done mourning. I had to be.

Splashing water onto my face I looked back up into my eyes and life had bled back into them, determination swelling inside me. Slowly, maybe, but growing all the same. Whatever the Matriarch was planning, I would find out, and I would stop her.

It was a strange few days after that. Guy had been released back to us, although he wasn't allowed to do anything more strenuous than sitting. Sibus too, although he was virtually fully healed by now.

Still, it was good for everyone to be back, even if we were missing one. Though really it was the fact that nobody really knew what to do now that became the worst part. I spent my time training, mostly doing so with Valeia, which was where we were currently heading back from. The both of us were smiling slightly, though we were out of breath.

We'd upgraded our facility from the C-Sec headquarters to the Turian Hierarchy's military base on the Citadel. It was mostly used for shore leave, but there was also a lot of equipment there for drills and practice. Victus had talked to the Turian General on base and in less than two minutes we'd been accepted on site, able to use all of the equipment at the troops disposal. I'd become sure that he was an old Primarch or something, with how much pull he had.

Fortunately for us, the base also included a small Cabal training area where biotic techniques could be practiced safely.

Which had led to an impromptu competition between myself, Valeia and three Cabalists who'd been training at the time. I was pleasantly surprised by how much I had actually managed to pick up in the short time I'd been here. They'd still beaten us, but it hadn't been a curb-stomp or anything so severe, and it had been very nice to fight without our lives on the line. Especially since, so far, my experience of this universe had been extremely "sink or swim".

"That was a cool move you demonstrated at the end there." I complimented Valeia. I wasn't entirely sure what it had been, but what looked like a swirling warp field had hit the dummy, although unlike a warp field, part of the attack had stayed surrounding Valeia herself, and the longer the field was on the dummy, the more revitalised Valeia seemed to look, as though she'd managed to get a good night's sleep during a firefight.

"I believe your people call it a 'reave'. It's useful in prolonged fighting, but compared to more powerful attacks it isn't as good of an option as something like a shockwave." I nodded in understanding before we fell quiet again for a few moments.

"Val… Thank you." There was a strange feeling in my chest as I spoke those words. I didn't know what it meant, but it felt good at least.

"What for?" She paused, her steps stopping for a short moment before resuming.

"For being there for me. I know you didn't have to be." I slowed my pace to let her catch up, then let myself stop as I glanced at our surroundings.

There weren't too many people on this part of the Citadel, but by no means was it empty in the square that we'd ended up in. A few passersby caught my attention, but my eyes wandered as my brain registered their appearance before snapping back to Valeia.

"Nonsense. I'm happy to be." She gave me a smile that made me feel my heartbeat speed up… and it was entirely without input from my brain that I began to lean in to kiss her. At the second to last moment I remembered that if I did anything with her, we would both die, and I don't think I was subtle how I changed it to a hug and a kiss on the forehead before I leaned down too far, but she made no comment.

I saw the remnants of a blush as I pulled away, whether that was because she had similar feelings or simply from embarrassment, I wasn't sure. It didn't look like she was opposed to the idea of being hugged and kissed though...

Which gave me all kinds of ideas. Bad ones, mostly.

As we moved off away from the square some movement caught my eye, two figures were walking parallel to us. One Asari and one Human like we were, although the Human was a woman. It took me a moment but I recognised her from the day I'd had to do the broker's test.

My paranoia began to get the best of me almost immediately, and I steered Valeia off of the straightforward path home.

"Are they following us?" I asked her quietly as I pulled her down an empty side street.

"Who?" She asked, concern colouring her features as she looked behind us for a brief second, disguising the motion by focusing on a nearby store

"Human-Asari pair, I've seen them before. P.I's I think, they aren't wearing uniform but they move like C-Sec."

"Off-duty officers perhaps? Or undercover?" Her head turned slowly back to look ahead and she gave a slight nod.

"Maybe, they could be outsourced by them." I offered. I hadn't been able to see if they'd had any weapons on them, but it was entirely possible.

"Where do you know them from?" Valeia asked as we emerged onto another main thoroughfare, the crowd mostly concealing us - at least for a short time.

"Broker trial mission. They were investigating the same person I was, ended up in the same place too. I think I might have ruined their work."

"Oh great, annoyed cops are after us. This way." We ended up doubling back on ourselves, returning to the original pathway after a couple of minutes. Neither of us could spot them behind us, so we thought we'd lost them in the crowd and relaxed a fair amount, until we saw them ahead of us walking around the corner. The two streets merged where we had spotted them coming from as they opened up into a large marketplace.

"Fuck." I muttered under my breath as Valeia began to lead us into the nearest shop. "Go! Go, go… straight through." I muttered to her as we ducked inside.

"Hey!" I heard a voice call out just as we made it into the store, weaving in and out of the aisles as we scurried through. We dropped down a level using the store and then practically burst out onto the street, only for the commotion of the chase to follow us.

"Split up?" It wasn't the best suggestion, but it always seemed to work in movies.

"Don't be ridiculous." Valeia rolled her eyes dramatically before grabbing my arm and leading us down the street, fighting the flow of people as we went until we ducked into another side alley, travelling down three floors via narrow, badly lit stairwells.

Before I knew it we were outside the Dark Star Lounge, the booming music and titanic sign unmistakeable. The area was pretty much exactly how it looked in-game, although there were a lot more people around. We caught our breath as we walked into the lounge, threading our way through the crowd as quickly and casually as we could manage. Valeia picked out a dimly lit booth to one side of the bar and guided me towards it, and I picked up on her reasons quickly enough; it would hide my legs for the most part, and if we were subtle about it our faces would at least be obscured with how low the lighting was.

She ordered us both drinks while we waited to see if we'd lost our tail, but I couldn't quite relax. I had no idea who they actually were beyond some sort of investigators who I'd managed to obstruct, and no idea what they would want with us if they caught us.

My eyes kept scanning the room, drifting from person to person as I observed the crowd. The Turian bartender was looking more and more annoyed at the human woman who kept trying to talk to him, the mixed irritation and boredom evident on his face as he poured drinks for customers besides the girl.

A small group were dancing in the corner, two Asari moving in the center of their ring of friends while others swayed around them, looking too embarrassed to let loose and really move. Maybe young maidens on their first big night out together?

My attention returned to my own table when a bright green drink was placed in front of me by an attractive Asari waitress, whom Valeia thanked, the dismissal in her tone not harsh, but still evident. I took a swig of the drink in front of me, only to frown at the bitter liquid as it burned down my throat.

"I asked for something strong." Valeia said into my ear, the closeness of her mouth serving to let me hear her over the sound of the music... but also working to send a shiver down my spine. "Try to relax, it'll help you blend in."

I was about to nod when my eyes spotted the Human woman entering the lounge, her gaze scanning the room for us. I was dubious that the low lighting would completely hide us from her search… or at least, that's the excuse I gave myself for what happened next.

Just before her eyes were turned entirely our way, I turned, reached up to cup her chin, and pulled Valeia into a kiss.

The taste of alcohol was on her lips, but there was a deeper, more velvet scent that moved through my mouth. I ran my fingers along the ridges of her crest on the back of her head which gained a quiet thrum of approval. The kiss couldn't have lasted more than a few seconds, and I hoped that we had looked like two lustful patrons as opposed to two people trying to avoid being found.

But that isn't the reason why I was breathing heavily as we pulled away from each other, nor was it the reason why Valeia's eyes were nearly black with anticipation. At least, they were for a moment, before she sat back into the booth, took a sip of her drink and said: "I think we lost them."

I couldn't help but laugh.

We waited for a couple of hours in the bar, watching as people came and went with a drink in our hands. The conversation was mainly focused on whether or not we should try to have some sort of a relationship, and if so, how far we would be able to go. And the answer was unsurprisingly frustrating, especially for someone who for the past two months not only hasn't had any sort of 'action', but who for someone 'embracing eternity' would literally kill.

"I'm sorry, we can't have anything more while you're still suffering from floating mind." Valeia said quietly, though still loud enough for me to hear her across the music.

"Just one more thing to blame on the Matriarch I suppose." I sighed heavily. It sucked, and was deeply frustrating to physically not be able to act upon feelings that had been brewing for some time now, but the alternative was death.

At least we knew where we stood with each other now, something that was surprisingly liberating once you got passed the fact that if anything were to happen, both of us were likely to die.

We got back to Victus' in the early hours of the evening, and unsurprisingly found that most of the others were out doing one thing or another - it wasn't not like there was really much work for us at the moment, and nobody really felt like doing any at the moment in any case.

I had set up in 'my' room, the zen atmosphere helping to calm me further from the antics of the day. Smoke drifted lazily towards the ceiling in swirling motions as the air jostled it from the incense sticks that were lit in the center of the room, the low coffee table serving as stand for the holder.

Gentle music played in the background, not loud enough to be heard throughout the house, but still enough for me to hear it within the confines of the room. It was by a Human artist - for some reason Human music had the most rhythm to it, in my opinion. Asari music was good, but a lot of it was too grand. Batarian and Turian music were too regimented for my taste, much of their musical styles being far too strict. I suppose in a way the music that came out of a species' culture was reflective of that culture... It was an interesting diametric to think about, if nothing else.

I breathed out and tumbled slowly from my standing position into a handstand, stretching out into a series of holds that stretched my overworked back muscles in a way that made my spine crack in a pleasurable manner. As I straightened back up I began to do push-ups in that position. I couldn't go on forever, but I was pleased with the ten that I managed to do.

"Good core work." Victus' croaking flange cut through the sound of the music, and broke me out of the meditative trance that the workout and sounds had put me into.

I had lowered myself into a kneeling position before Victus had announced his presence, which fortunately meant that I didn't have to collect myself off the floor from a surprised bundle.

"Thank you." I stood for him, rolling my shoulders and relaxing before gesturing to one of the chairs at the coffee table. "Here, have a seat."

"Very kind of you, but I shan't stay long." Victus' eyes had a strange gleam to them, and for a moment I wondered if he knew about myself and Valeia… and what he would say about it if he did. "This came for you today."

He pulled out a datapad from under his cloak, a placed it into my palm as I reached for it. He didn't say anything else, just turned and departed, leaving me to discover the contents for myself.


Reviews:

Menschenblut: thank you for all the positivity in your reviews and suggestions, it means a lot to me that someone else is enjoying the story as much as I am, though sorry for spoiling your fantasy of a final battle and the outpost. To answer your suggestion to knock on the doors, the levi-husks are more open to control when near an orb (at least in my mind) so if they were setting up an ambush, the husks would be kept in a non-reactive state.

Rfpizzle: To be honest when I first started the chapter I was going to have them successfully rescue their friends, but the more I wrote the more it just seemed right that they wouldn't have got their in time, and that their efforts would result in disaster, thanks for the review!