"Kristoff, I need to trust you with something." Elsa's voice rang out over the phone. Kristoff could hear a crack in her voice as she spoke. "I need you to promise me that you won't tell Anna this, okay?"
"Elsa," Kristoff scoffed, already getting annoyed with the girl. "Anna is my best friend and I, unlike you, can't keep secrets from her. So whatever it is you want to tell me, just don't even bo—"
"Please, I'm begging you…" Another crack. Weakness started to shine through. "I just need someone to know this, just in case something happens. I know you don't like me, but can I please just trust you to not tell Anna what I'm about to tell you unless things get seriously bad. Please?"
Kristoff wiped his face with his hand and groaned into the phone. He gave in. "Fine, fine! What is it that could possibly be so important that you don't want your own girlfriend to know? Please tell me, I'm just dying of curiosity?"
Elsa let out a long sigh. Sniffling could be heard from on the other end of the line. "I'm going to be going away for a while. I don't know how long, I just need to go away to… to think." There was a short pause coming from Kristoff's end of the line.
"Don't be stupid, Elsa." He spat. "You can't just leave. What about your brother?"
"I already have things worked out with him. And don't worry; it won't be for too long. At least I don't think. I'm not really sure yet."
"Well, fine then. Do you what you want, I don't really care that much. But just know that you're going to be hurting people if you just up and leave like this." His words were shrouded in venom.
"You don't think I know that?" More sniffling. "Please, just trust me, this is for the best right now."
"Are you sure?" There was no answer, just struggled breathing. "Okay, fine… where are you going?"
You deserve this, you piece of shit. You've always deserved this and you know it.
Elsa leaned against the headstone of her father's grave. Blankets that some strangers who had seen her there had given her were loosely draped around her shoulders. She didn't have the energy to hold them tight around her anymore.
Those people probably only gave you those blankets because they don't want other people to see you sitting around here, bawling your pathetic eyes out.
At first, the visits to her father's grave were only interrupted for her to go to work, but that eventually stopped after the first week. She figured that when it got cold enough, she would get up and leave, probably go home to Olaf and hope that he didn't hate her. However, when the temperature started to drop to below freezing, she was still sitting there. She had frequent episodes of violent shaking, only making the blankets fall off of her even more. As if it were possible, she had gotten paler over the past two weeks. Her thoughts started getting jumbled and nothing seemed sensible anymore. For a while, she thought she had seen Anna and Kristoff throwing frisbees around in the snow with that dog, Sven.
Do you see that, Els? That's them being happy without you. It could be like that for them all the time if you just stopped breathing. You got in between their friendship. You ruined things for them. They were probably about to get back together before you came around.
You ruined everything.
Just stop breathing and things can get better.
Elsa hadn't eaten in days and it showed. Ribs and hipbones stuck out grossly with the skin tightly wrapped over them. After a few days, the rumbling in her stomach had stopped, leaving only a sharp, reoccurring pain in her abdomen. She was weak and felt like she couldn't stand up to go home even if she wanted to. There were voices in her head that were constantly telling her that she deserved this. At first, they were dark grumbling voices, then it was her mother, then her father (at this point, she was convinced that he was haunting her), and now the voices in her head sounded a lot like her own voice. It was only when she held her fingers up to her mouth to breathe on them and felt her lips forming words did she realize it.
She had been yelling what she thought was the voices in her head speaking. Soon, she found herself yelling back at them (herself), causing people visiting their loved one's graves to stare at her.
But then the voices started to sound a lot like Anna and Kristoff.
″Elsa!" A sweet voice called. The soft crunching of snow could be heard in the distance. "Elsa!" Looking up, Elsa saw the redhead running towards her. It has to be another hallucination. Anna dropped to her knees in front of the pale girl, gripping her by her shoulders, proving Elsa wrong. The blankets that had been wrapped around her were now lying on the snowy ground. Kristoff ran up behind Anna, spewing apologies.
"I'm sorry Anna, I knew I should have told you earlier, I'm so sorry!"
Anna swung her body around and punched Kristoff in the leg unforgivingly. Taking off her beanie and scarf, she put them both on Elsa, trying her best to keep her warm. A sudden shivering episode made Anna jump back, fearing that she had hurt the girl. It subsided quickly. Anna instructed Kristoff to pick Elsa up to bring her to the car.
Anna sat with Elsa in the back seat, doing her best to keep her warm along with the heater. Kristoff drove to the hospital as fast as he could without getting a ticket.
"Hey, Anna…" Elsa grumbled, looking up at the girl holding her. Anna urged her to go on, but Elsa passed out before she could say anything.
And this is the part where your breathing finally stops.
Anna reached down to feel Elsa's pulse on her wrist. The only thing she could feel was heavily spaced out thumps of a pulse. The distance between each one was so long that Anna could have sworn that they were non-existent. That the beating she felt was just Kristoff driving over a bump in the road or maybe they were just a figment of her hopeful imagination.
"Please drive faster, Kristoff!"
What is this? Where am I? What is that smell? Someone's been using too much hand sanitizer. Wait, wait… what is that noise? Who the hell is crying?
Elsa looked around, her eyes adjusting to the fluorescent lighting of the room. There was a beeping noise coming from somewhere in the room, but she couldn't tell what or where it was. A heated blanket lay on top of her. Whether she was shivering from being cold or from trauma, she couldn't tell. The sobs coming from somewhere to her right continued, getting slightly annoying. Elsa was about to tell whoever it was to shut the fuck up when she turned her head to see a weeping Anna. She tried getting out of whatever bed she was in to comfort the redhead, but she couldn't find the strength to lift herself up. Letting out a loud grunt, she unintentionally got Anna's attention. Chair legs skidded across the floor with the force of Anna shooting up and making her way to the bedside.
″Elsa!" She gasped and grabbed the girl's hand, squeezing it tight. Elsa's breath was heavy and strained. It was as if she was just learning how to make her lungs function correctly. "Elsa, oh my god! Are you okay?" The platinum haired girl nodded her head, gritting her teeth in pain as she finally noticed her splitting headache. Anna covered her mouth with a soft hand; Elsa noticed her body shaking lightly. "Why… why did you run off, Elsa?" Her words got caught in her throat.
"Anna… I… I don't know." Elsa confessed, looking at the sobbing girl in front of her. "I'm sorry."
"No!" Anna shouted, throwing her arm down in a swiping motion. "You could have died, Elsa! You almost did!" Another bout of tears flowed down the girls face. Elsa wondered how much Anna had been crying over the past two weeks because of her. "They thought you were dead… the doctors thought you were dead."
Elsa looked at the girl in shock. She had been so out of it for the past few days, everything had been a haze. She didn't even remember Anna or anyone else finding her, let alone bringing her to a hospital. Tears started to sting in her eyes. "I'm sorry, Anna.″ She whispered.
″Were you even thinking when you left!?″ Anna's voice got louder and louder. She swung her hands around in exaggerated gestures. "Did you think about Olaf? What would have happened to him without you in his life? What about me, did you think about me? At all?" Elsa eyes got wide at the realization of what she had done. She started hyperventilating. She threw the blanket off of her body and tried getting out of the bed. Spewing apologies, Anna tried to push Elsa back down under the blankets, telling her she needed to stay in the bed. Still struggling with her breathing, Elsa shoved passed the redhead. She stumbled to the cold ceramic tiled floor, not being able to support her own weight. Freckled arms wrapped around her waist and lifted her up. Anna took one of Elsa's arms, draped it around her neck, and guided her back to the hospital bed. Elsa refused to lay back down so she sat on the edge of the bed with Anna sitting next to her.
″I'm sorry, I'm sorry.″ She whispered into the Elsa's ear, rubbing her back in soothing circular motions. Just then, the large blonde boy walked into the room with Olaf. A squeal emitted from the little boy. He jumped onto the bed and wrapped his tiny arms around his big sister's neck. Elsa suppressed a groan of pain for him.
"Elsa! Elsa! Elsa!" Olaf cheered, squeezing her tighter. "I missed you, Elsa."
The tears that had been brimming her eyes finally spilled over. She threw her arms around the boy, gripping him tight with no intentions of letting go. She kissed the top of his head. Muffled apologies were lost in the platinum hair.
Elsa lay sound asleep in Anna's bed only to be awoken by a light knock on the door. Anna's parents had insisted that her and Olaf stay with them until she was healthy enough to be on her own again. That was the excuse, but they all knew that it was actually because everyone was afraid that Elsa might try and run off again, even though she swore that she wouldn't.
"Hey, Elsa…" Elsa got out from under the covers to look at the source of the knock. Kristoff stood in the doorway, giving her a sheepish smile upon eye contact. He took a few steps into the room cautiously as if to test and make sure the waters were safe. "Hey, can we talk?"
"Please, Kristoff," Elsa said, sitting up and rubbing her temples. "I've already gotten lectured by Anna and both of her parents. Can we please just not talk about anything right now? I fucked up, I know, and I regret it beyond belief…" She let out a sigh. "Please, I just want to forget about it."
"No, actually, I didn't want to talk about that." He made his way to the bed and sat down on the edge. "I just wanted to apologize… for being such a dick to you and all. There was no reason for me to act that way towards you and I'm sorry. Since I met you, I've been a jerk to you and that's not fair."
"Don't be sorry, I understand." Kristoff quirked an eyebrow. Offering a small smile, Elsa nudged him with her foot. "Hey, where's Anna by the way?"
"Doing some grocery shopping with her parents and Olaf. They'll be back in a little bit.″
She hid her face in her hands with shame. ″Which is why they sent you here to keep an eye on me and make sure I don't bolt again, right?" Platinum locks cascading over her fingers were tucked behind her ear by a meaty hand. The hand that had been fixing her hair cupped her cheek, brushing a thumb back and forth. "I'm such a fuckup, Kristoff, I can't believe I did that!" She threw her hands down, assaulting the mattress. Her face started to turn red with anger towards herself.
″Hey, hey, hey,″ Kristoff grabbed her hands and held them both clasped between his own. ″Nobody is mad at you, Els, everyone was just worried. You shouldn't be mad either.″ He momentarily released his grasp on her hands to lift her head up and make eye contact with her. ″You made a rash decision in a bad state of mind, it's okay. You're okay.″
″I abandoned Olaf. That's not okay.″ Elsa insisted. ″I'm a horrible sister. I'm a horrible person.″
″No you're not! Believe it or not, Olaf understands why you left.″ He squeezed her hands a little bit tighter. ″And I know you have Anna in the back of your mind somewhere, and don't worry about it. Like I said, no one was mad at you, especially not Anna. She was just a nervous wreck, but she's better now.″
Elsa clenched her eyes shut. Her breathing started to come out heavy and struggled. Upon noticing this, Kristoff brought the girl into a tight embrace, not letting her go until her breathing got back to normal. She wrapped her arms around his neck and hid her face in his chest, trying to breathe in and out as steadily as she could.
"Hey, come on." Kristoff rubbed his hand over her back. "Come on, everything's okay. I promise." Elsa pushed away from him, avoiding eye contact.
"Thank you, Kristoff." She mumbled and leaned against the headboard of the bed, letting out a deep sigh.
″Hey, Els, you still asleep?" Anna's voice rang from the other side of the door, followed by a knocking pattern that the girl had been prone to doing. Elsa was sitting cross-legged on the bed with Anna's freshman year yearbook on her lap, looking at the awkward girl's photo. She slid the book underneath the bed before letting Anna know that she was up.
When Elsa stated a response, the door creaked open. Anna walked in, holding something in her hands. "Here." She said and tossed a pack of gum at her. Picking it up, Elsa felt a smile tug at her lips at realizing that it was the same type of gum that Anna had bought the day in the store when she announced that she was her girlfriend. Shakily, she pulled herself out of the bed and went over to Anna, wrapping her arms around the shorter girl's neck and holding her tight.
"Thanks, Anna." She whispered and placed a kiss on top of her head. "For everything."
Anna's arms tangled themselves around Elsa's waist. An "I love you" was pressed against the crook of the girl's neck, followed by light kisses that trailed up her neck and the side of her face until they met soft lips.
AN and that's it for In a Different Light! Thank you so much for everyone who has read, followed, favorited, and reviewed this story. And a very big thank you to the people who reviewed nearly every chapter! I didn't expect anybody to actually like this story, and then they did. Now, the story ends here (minus the epilogue that I'm thinking about doing, but that's not a definite thing yet) but I'm still planning on writing more for this fandom, so keep a lookout for more of that.
Again, thank you so much for reading and enjoying this story. Tell me what you thought!
