CHAPTER 12
I opened my mouth to speak; to let loose a hurricane of questions and uncensored comments and updates and-
But Brian's intense look bottled my words, and I was forced to choke the plastic down. The container slid down my throat and plopped into my stomach with a heavy splash. Oh man, I could feel a tummy ache coming on.
As if someone had oiled the rusted bones in Brian body for the first time in decades, his head gave a subtle shake in my direction. However, his brilliant (ALIVE- sorry . . . not sorry. I just couldn't believe it yet!) eyes didn't linger on me more than they had to; rather Brian's focus was trained to the shadowy corner of the room where Jasmine sat in a messy ball of human despair.
Pushing the rising jealousy into the bottle in my stomach was difficult, especially when I noticed Brian's warm hand gently rubbing the nape of Jasmine's neck. Sometimes his fingers, steady with concern, toyed with the collar of her wrinkled t-shirt.
And I wished so bad that that was me beneath his touch. I wanted so bad to give up for a day and cry in Brian's arms and watch overly happy movies and cook pancakes for dinner. But I couldn't.
Yearning struck me in the chest like an icicle and I leaned against the doorframe to hide the shiver that was escaping me.
My eyes trailed down Brian's secure arm, to the tip of his delicate fingers, to the black raggedness of Jasmine's shirt, to-
I crossed my arms over my stomach and scowled at the ground.
Seriously Chloe! I thought harshly in frustration. Jasmine needs you right now, snap out of it!
Besides- sadness lurked in my blood- Brian's touch could never be mine again. Brian could never be mine again. Not if he was to stay alive.
At least, I pretended to assure myself, I got to spend time with him at all.
Tears threatened to bleach my face. I blinked what felt like a thousand times, desperate to be strong.
"CHLO- JAMINE?!"
His voice broke through my mind, blew away my tears and caused a fresh set to build behind the dam.
Before I could move though- before I could hug him and chant "he's alive!"- Alek's body shoved passed mine, through the doorway and into the bedroom. He stuttered into the room with a wild wideness to his eyes.
Faint blood splatters were painting multiple decorative strips on his pants, his shirt, his face, even his hair. (What the hell happened between him and grandma?)
"Get away from-" he began to shoot at Brian. But Brian's presence seemed to be easing Jasmine, and Alek's storm settled into a pour as he scrutinized the pair. His chest rose and fell with heavy intensity. Even he wouldn't stop Brian from doing something good for Jasmine.
After an adrenaline filled moment, Alek's eyes softened, his concern for Jasmine momentarily extinguishing his pride.
"How long has she been awake?" Even though my voice was soft, the words ominously sliced through the quiet.
All eyes reverted to me, as if I was been the one who had just walked in unexpectedly. I retracted into the hallway, suddenly embarrassed, like I wasn't supposed to ask silly questions.
"Brian," Alek said, though his eyes remained on me. "Help me get Jasmine onto her bed."
Brian didn't protest. He just nodded, carefully wrapped his fingers around each of Jasmine's limp biceps, and started to hoist up her disintegrating form. Alek's eyes kept locked with mine for a moment longer, a million reassurances and melancholy comments and sighs transferring from him to me. Eventually though, his eyes tore from my grip and he closed the gap between him and the mangled pair, making me the outsider. Feeling helpless- feeling no longer the Uniter- I tightened my grip on my waist, almost digging my fingernails into the bullet shaped scars on my stomach that I swear were beginning to sear.
Alek locked his arms around Jasmine's waist as if she was a porcelain doll, and together the boys hoisted her up onto her bed. Her eyes were open. Though they were vacant, only staring at the whitewashed ceiling as if infinity was to be found there. For a second, panic flit through me at the idea of her being just a corpse, but the steady, yet careless, rise and fall of her chest reassured me otherwise.
"Al-" I began. But Alek shook his head, silencing me. It was obvious I was of no assistance. I basically wasn't wanted there. I tried to shake away the intense melancholy I was beginning to feel, but seeing both boys I love (who, might I mention, would love to beat each other to death) were working together and completely disregarding me, well it was difficult not to feel some sort of teenage angst.
Alek rested a gentle hand on Brian's shoulder and the boys leaned into each other so that they could whisper like little schoolgirls gossiping.
I couldn't hear what they were chirping about, but both Alek and Brian's faces were wrinkled with deep concentration.
Brian nodded. Then Alek pivoted on his heels and marched towards me. He didn't stop when he reached the hall, but grabbed my arm a tad too roughly and dragged me into the living room.
"H-Hey!" I yelped.
Still, Alek didn't say a word to me.
I watched Brian quietly close Jasmine's bedroom door, and then both he and her were gone to me.
Alek let go of my arm and started to pace around the couches. His lips were pressed together, his brows were clenched, and his hands were vibrating as he snapped his fingers again and again. This charade went on for what felt like forever. Even the moon was tired of this silence-noanswers thing, because when I turned to glance outside at the balcony, there was the blinding yellow of the sun drawing streaks into the purple sky like a crayon would.
"Okay!" I barked in frustration, finally breaking the silence. Alek halted like had hit a wall. He acted surprised, like he had forgotten I was there. Maybe he had.
I pouted and plopped down onto one of the couches. "This being in the dark thing is-"
I paused and chuckled at the fact that we were literally halfway in the dark while sitting in the penthouse at dawn. It was a humorless, bitter, interrupting laugh. Alek didn't notice my slight hysteria.
I sighed, and shook my body, trying to gather myself. "Alright, tell me what is going on Alek."
He blinked at me a couple of times, then wandered around the kitchen with his hand wiping at his forehead in distress. This couldn't be just about Jasmine. Could it? I mean he had a harsh brotherly affection for her but the intensity was overwhelming.
Either way, I was pretty convinced by then that he was just going to continue censoring himself and leave me all alone. I crossed my arms.
Damn, we really needed to work together now more than ever. I needed to get myself together because everyone else was started to fray. I had done my napping. Time to be the Uniter.
I opened my mouth, ready to bark at Alek once more, to try and rattle him awake. But before I could say anything, thank god, he spoke.
"Jasmine didn't- doesn't want to be seen like this," he said to the floor.
"Like what?" I asked in exasperation, as I propelled off of the couch and met Alek's side. I dared to lay a hand on his forearm. He didn't budge. The warmth of his skin was filling up my fingers.
"Like . . . She thinks she is being pathetic. She doesn't want anyone to know how weak she is right now! Jasmine, she fears so badly that she isn't mi material anymore, that she isn't capable of making proper judgments and isn't able to protect you and us and her mom . . . God, Jasmine wishes she was there more to save her mom-"
"-But she's not dead! Valentina is-"
"-And Zane, she thinks she should have known. She feels so foolish for being so blind. She hates herself for-"
"Wait. Alek stop!" I took a step away from him and bumped into a kitchen chair. My hands shot out instinctly and clutched the wood. My head was spinning, but I shoved it away. "Are you- are you just trying to say she's depressed?"
He finally looked at me. His eyes bore into mine. A weird, slightly misplaced hopelessness was drowning his eyes. Everyone seemed to be falling apart.
"Alek, poop like this happens. She shouldn't have to feel ashamed-"
"Brian is the only one who has been able to help her." He said this sadly. "I couldn't-"
"Hey." I said soothingly. "Stop it's okay. Everything will be okay. We are all trying out best." The reassurance was simply spilling out of me, even though I didn't truly believe it. I mustered up a smile. It felt like the first smile that dared to exist for centuries. Even the penthouse felt heavy with a frown.
"We'll kick Zane's ass, fight against the Order as long as we have to, and give each other some group therapy or something I don't know! But as long as we stick together it will be okay!"
I paused, hoping for a reaction. Alek continued to wring his hands. My heart clenched. I couldn't stand seeing him so distraught. I needed to start acting.
"Okay?" I continued kindly. I grabbed his face in my hands, made him look me in the eye. We waited there. A battle between hopelessness and desire to survive this crazy ting called life.
Eventually, he halfheartedly nodded.
"Fine," He muttered.
"Fine," I chirped.
My fingers slid down his cheeks, his jawbone, and then I extracted them from his presence altogether. The feel of him haunted me.
I turned away, prepared to take a stroll onto the balcony, to gather my thoughts and make up a game-plan. Though, no games were to be played here. Maybe if we-
SLAM! The walls of the house rattled. My body vibrated with the force and I ducked with my hands covering my head.
"FUCK!" Alek responded. The way he punched out the word caused me to flinch.
I straightened up, spun around, fists in the air, ready. SO O O eager to punch something in the face.
"What the fuck Amy!" Alek shouted.
My shoulders drooped.
Oh no.
Alek grabbed a stricken Paul by the collar of his jacket. "You couldn't have come in like normal ass people?"
Amy's eyes were wide in astonishment. Her fingers tightened around a thin slip of white paper that she had been holding up for all to see.
All three of them stood in the doorway at a standstill.
"Uh," I mumbled awkwardly. "Hi. Welcome home." Huh. Home.
"H-hello," Paul tried to chime. But his voice came out as a choke as Alek lifted Paul's heels off the ground.
"Alek!" I said steely. "Don't take your crap out on other people."
Alek didn't move for a moment. I worried that he was going to throw Paul into the kitchen sink.
Then his grip loosened. His fingers burned red. He dropped Paul, shoved him into the door with an effortless punch, and marched out the front door. His heavy boots echoed through the complex's hallway. Tension fogged up the air.
"So, " Paul said breathlessly, as he straightened his jacket. "Bad day huh?"
"No kidding," I whispered.
"Us too."
Paul plucked the white slip from Amy's hand and waved it around like a ribbon.
"We would have been here earlier," he said. "But Amy thought that the popo would understand if we told them we were speeding because my mom needed a ride to the hospital considering her water broke at home and my dad was at work. Heh, seems kind of ridiculous now." Paul gave a sheepish shrug.
I couldn't contain it. I started to laugh. The sound was so foreign in the now sunlit house.
Man it was too early for life.
"Hold on a second," I breathed.
Amy cocked her head in confusion.
"You-" I giggled. "Got. A. Ticket. From. The police?"
Oh god, once it started I couldn't stop. One of those intense, hysterical, gut-wrenching fits of laughter. I keeled over. My stomach was throbbing from the sudden outbreak of movement. But I couldn't stop. I didn't want to stop.
Paul chuckled uneasily. "Well, ya. That happens when you go seventy five in a neighborhood."
"See, but-" I gasped. "That. Is. THE MOST, mun-fucking-dane thing that has happened to us!"
"She just cussed," Amy stated worriedly. "Chloe king just said a bad word."
"Well, it is kind of funny," Paul agreed with a chuckle. "I mean, we have been through all of us crazy stuff and here we are, having to deal with something as normal as a parking ticket."
"Ya," Amy said, starting to giggle now.
I was becoming infectious. I was on the floor, laughing in a comedic way into the wood.
It felt so good.
"Ya, that is so true. Like, this kind of gives me hope in a weird way."
Jasmine was a vegetable in her room with Brian having the weight of her problems on his shoulders not knowing that Zane wants to kill him, Alek was having a mini break down, Valentina was in a coma on her bed. And here Paul, Amy, and I were, laughing our butts off on a dusty, battleground.
Brian appeared above me without warning. His shadow covered me like a thin blanket.
I looked up at him with a foolish smile; laughter was still spilling from my lips. It was uncontainable. I couldn't stop it. The thought kind of freaked me out, and yet I was filled with such euphoria that part of me wanted to laugh forever into nothingness; a pile of grey glue shavings.
"Go to bed Chloe," he ordered.
Then he turned away and disappeared behind Jasmine's bedroom door.
