Chapter 12

"Perversion of the Prince"

Gregor, Claudius and Gertrude stood and watched while Polonius stood in front of them, his mind still raging over how Hamlet had treated Ophelia.

"Now then," said Claudius. "You say that Hamlet had violated the honor of your fair child, is that true, Polonius?"

"Yes, your highness," replied Polonius. "It is true. My daughter claimed that she was indeed violated by Prince Hamlet, your nephew. In that sense, sir and madam, to make grand speeches about what majesty is, what service is, or why day is day, night is night, and time is time is just a waste of a lot of day, night, and time. Therefore, since the essence of wisdom is not talking too much, I'll get right to the point here. Your son is crazy. 'Crazy' I'm calling it, since how can you say what craziness is except to say that it's craziness? But that's another story."

"More matter, with less art," remarked Gregor.

"I'm doing nothing but sticking to the point," retorted Polonius, giving the king of Dunwyn a dirty look. "It's true he's crazy, and it's a shame it's true, and it's truly a shame he's crazy—but now I sound foolish, so I'll get right to the point. Now, if we agree Hamlet's crazy, then the next step is to figure out the cause of this effect of craziness, or I suppose I should say the cause of this defect, since this defective effect is caused by something. This is what we must do, and that's exactly what needs to be done."

The three monarchs listened intently to what Polonius had to say. For a moment it seemed, they all thought that Polonius, given his age, was acting like a fool. However, the sharp tone in his voice made it almost impossible to question how he was feeling.

"Think about it," said Polonius, pulling out what appeared to be a letter out of his robes. "I have a daughter who's given me this letter, considering it her duty. Listen and think about this:

'To the heavenly idol of my soul, the most beautified Ophelia in her excellent white bosom, et cetera, et cetera…you don't need to hear all this stuff…"

As Polonius spoke, Gregor felt a sudden shift in his stomach. With each word that was aired out, he felt nothing more than fear for Calla and Sunni for that matter. Calla, in Gregor's mind, was still a child, not just a princess of Dunwyn or Queen consort of the Gummi Bears. The thought of hearing that Calla could possibly be next ran through his mind.

"Are you certain that Hamlet wrote this to Ophelia?" asked Gertrude.

"I am certain, your highness," answered Polonius, looking back to continue reading the letter. "Now, if I may continue, the letter reads:

You may wonder if the stars are fire,

You may wonder if the sun moves across the sky.

You may wonder if the truth is a liar,

But never wonder if I love.

Oh, Ophelia, I'm bad at poetry. I can't put my feelings into verse, but please believe I love you best, oh, best of all. Believe it.

Yours forever, my dearest one,

as long as I live…

Hamlet."

"Well, what is your opinion, King Gregor?" asked Claudius, turning over to face the King of Dunwyn. "You have a daughter just like my counselor. How do you sum up this situation?"

But, Gregor said nothing, his mind filled with shock and disbelief over the actions of Hamlet advancing on Ophelia. When Gregor said nothing, Claudius turned his attention back to Polonus.

"I would like to prove to you that I am most honorable and loyal," he said. "But what would you have thought of me if I had kept quiet when I found out about this hot little love?"

"I would say that you not have kept yourself quiet, my counselor," remarked Claudius, much to the pleasure of Polonius.

"My dear queen, what would you have thought of me if I had turned a blind eye to what was happening between Hamlet and my daughter?" Polonius asked Gertrude. "No, I had to do something. And so I said to my daughter that Lord Hamlet is a prince and he's out of her league And then I gave her orders to stay away from him, and not to accept any messages or little gifts from him. She did what I said. When she rejected Hamlet, he became sad, and stopped eating, stopped sleeping, got weak, got dizzy, and as a result lost his mind. And that's why he's crazy now, and all of us feel sorry for him."

There was another long silence in the throne room as the three royals absorbed what had been aired in front of them.

"Do you think that's why Hamlet's crazy?" Claudius asked Gertrude.

"It may be, it certainly may be," she answered.

This gave Claudius an idea, for this was the chance that he was waiting for: to rid himself of Lord Hamlet once and for all.

"How may we try it further?" asked Claudius to Polonius.

"Well, you know he sometimes walks here in the lobby for four hours at a time," explained Polonius. When he's there next time, I'll send my daughter to see him. You and I will hide behind the arras and watch what happens. If it turns out that Hamlet's not in love after all, and hasn't gone mad from love, then you can fire me from my court job and I'll go work on a farm."

The more that Polonius spoke of this plot, the more cunning that Claudius was becoming. Giving his wife a brief glance, he turned back to Polonius.

"We'll try what you suggest, Polonius," chuckled Claudius and at that moment, Gregor had enough of plotting potential death. "What do you say to this, Gregor? If I were you, I'd think about the well-being of Princess Calla. Do you want her to suffer at the hands of the pervert that is my nephew?"

"If you'll excuse me, Claudius," he replied. "I must go to see my daughter at once, wherever she is."

Waiving his hand, Claudius sent Gregor away from the throne room. However, little did they know that up in the balcony, a small pair of eyes were watching everything that was happening.

"So, the human king is looking to kill the true heir," laughed the figure. "One troublesome human is one less troublesome human to worry about. Ahab will admire what I have found out."

Before he could make his presence known, the figure left just as Hamlet was about to walk into the lobby just as Polonius had said…