Episode 12: Firestar, Blackstar, Bramblestar

A tiny black she-cat with a white chest and one white front paw stood on the center of the stage. "Welcome to Win a Date with Nightcloud," she squeaked. "I'm Star, filling in for Leafpool because she and Crowfeather are at the hospital waiting for Cinderheart to have Lionblaze's kits. They want to be the first to see their new grandbabies. Now here's your host- Nightcloud!"

Nightcloud strolled onto the stage, flashing the kit a pleased look. "Very good, Star! That was a great introduction!"

"Thank you!" the kit meowed. "I got an A in my 'Announcing Game Shows' class at school."

"I can tell!" the host replied. "Can you tell everyone who the guests are today?"

Star looked at the pink notecard she was holding. "Today we have Firestar, Blackstar and…Bramblestar." She sighed dreamily. "Isn't Bramblestar cute?"

The three toms padded out onto the stage. Bramblestar sat down in the middle green chair, staring at the kit with wide amber eyes. "Um, thanks?"

Nightcloud sat down on her red plush chair, waiting for Blackstar and Firestar to take their seats. "Star, what are our lovely toms play for today?"

"Today the prize is taking Nightcloud to see The Prey Games at Lake Territory Cinemas, courtesy of Littlecloud's Filming Company."

"Littlecloud makes movies?" Blackstar gasped. "No wonder the herb store in my Clan is always low! My medicine cat is too busy making block-busters!"

Nightcloud laughed. "Blacky, you should really be more aware of what goes on in your Clan! Now onto the questions…What is your favorite toy?"

"Oh, mine is my 'Singing Simba' doll!" Star meowed. "He sings all the songs from The Meowing King when you squeeze his belly!"

"Star, dear, the toms have to answer the question, not you," the host meowed.

Tansy nodded to her daughter. "That's right. You need to make tally marks on Leafpool's whiteboard when a tom gets the answer right."

The kit narrowed her eyes, clearly displeased. "Fine," she grumbled, padding over to the whiteboard.

Firestar answered Nightcloud's question first. "My favorite toy is my old catnip mouse from when I was a kittypet," he mewed. "It always smelled so good."

"That's a stupid kittypet answer," Blackstar growled. "My favorite toys were all by Beanie Babies! I had four hundred of them! #total90scat"

"Wow, Blackstar, you're so old!" Nightcloud meowed. "The nineties were soooo last century!"

Bramblestar nodded, agreeing with the host. "Yeah, dude, if you were alive in the nineties, you're ancient! You're like, what…twenty twoleg years old or something?"

"Maybe…"

The brown tabby tom just shook his head. "Well, I'm like six and a half years old, according to my Wikia page, so I'm not ancient! My favorite toy was a 'Tickle me Elmo' doll."

Nightcloud smiled. "That's a good toy, though I'd prefer a Barbie doll. I'll give Bramblestar a point!"

Star nodded and reached up as high as she could to draw a pink tally mark next to the ThunderClan leader's name. "Bramblestar has one point!"

"Question two: Do you own a jeep?"

Blackstar shook his head. "Only weird cats drive Jeeps. I drive a 1966 Cherry Red Corvette. All the cool cats drive Chevy."

"No, all the cool cats drive Ford!" Firestar hissed. "I drive a yellow Mustang!"

"You both are wrong!" Bramblestar meowed. "Volkswagen's the best! I drive a Carnation Pink VW Beetle!"

Nightcloud laughed at the dark tabby tom's 'manly' car. "Pink?"

"Squirrelflight picked it out," he muttered, staring at his paws.

The host nodded, understanding the tom entirely. "I'll give Bramblestar a point for not arguing with his mate, but Blackstar two points for driving an awesome car!"

Star nodded, updating her whiteboard. "So Blackstar has two points, and Bramblestar had one, but gets another one…one plus one equals…um…two."

"Yay!" Tansy cheered. "Isn't my daughter great at math?"

Nightcloud picked up her next notecard. "She sure is, Tansy. Question three: Who is- or was- the cutest kit ever!"

"Me!" Star cried.

Blackstar nodded. "Star is sooo cute! Look at her fluffy black fur and her fluffy white chest! She's darling!"

Firestar shook his head. "No no no…Squirrelflight was the cutest kit ever, and I'm not just saying that cuz she looks like me. Oh wait…yes I am."

"No, Hollyleaf was the cutest kit ever," Bramblestar argued. "She was my little girl, you know, until the whole 'hey, Dad, I'm not really your daughter' thing, but she was still really cute."

"Wow…" Nightcloud meowed. "I was not expecting those answers. You were supposed to say Breezepelt was the cutest kit ever, but I would have also accepted Brokenstar or one of Tansy's kits. Blackstar gets a point!"

"Yay! I'm cute!" Star cried, drawing another tally mark by the tom's name. "That means Firestar has zero points, Blackstar has two points, and Bramblestar has two points!"

Nightcloud studied the whiteboard. "We need a tie breaker! It's a good thing I've got a special question just for that purpose. Question four: On a scale of one to ten, how attractive am I?"

"Really?" Firestar asked. "Two of us have mates, you know. We aren't allowed to give you high ratings. You get a six from me."

"Yeah," Bramblestar added. "I've already answered that once. You get a seven, maybe an eight."

Blackstar shook his head. "Since my love for Russetfur is a secret, I can give Nightcloud a ten!"

The sound of Tansy hitting her head with her paw could be heard all the way in the back of the auditorium. "Seriously, Blackstar? If you keep saying you have a secret mate, but keep saying her name, it's NOT A SECRET!"

"It's a secret from her…"

"How does she not know?" the camera-cat asked. "Your Twitter account is filled with confessions of love to her! Your PawBook account is filled with confessions of love to her! Your Catogram account is filled with pictures confessing your love to her! Is she blind?"

"Poor Russetfur…" Nightcloud meowed. "Maybe she's just not that into you, Blackstar. If I were her, I'd get a restraining order. On that note, Blackstar actually gets the point for having the right answer!"

Star nodded and counted the final scores. "Firestar ends with no points, Bramblestar has two points, and Blackstar has three!"

"That makes Blackstar the winner!" Nightcloud announced.

"Yay!" the tom cheered, whipping out his phone. He hurried starting tapping on the phone's keyboard. "Just won a date with Nighty. #wegonnaseeamovie #russetiloveyou"

Star bounded off of the stage to stand by Tansy. "Mama, Brokenstar didn't whack anybody!" she whined. "I want to see Brokenstar whack somebody!"

The director glanced over at the security guard. "You heard my daughter. Whack somebody!"

"It would be my pleasure," Brokenstar meowed. He padded up to Firestar and whacked him with a rubber ducky, knocking him unconscious. Turning to face the kit, he mewed, "Hey, Star, want to do a segment of 'Doing Stuff to Toms While Their Unconscious'?"

"Yes!" she cried. "Can we make him a mermaid? Pleasey?"

Tansy just laughed, hovering her paw over the camera button. "As evil as Brokenstar is, he is just wonderful with kits!