Chapter 12 - Waking Dreams (Posted 18 March 2011)
When Kendall woke up, he felt the unfamiliar sensation of an arm around him. Something was stroking his hair, and his chest was rising and falling against another. He opened his eyes to find Logan's staring back at him.
"You're awake." Logan said with a smile.
"Did you stay here the whole time?"
"Of course I did."
"Why?" Kendall wrinkled his eyebrows.
"You... you asked me to..." Logan said, confused.
"I did?"
"Yes. You don't remember?"
"No. The last thing I remember is telling you I didn't want to go to sleep." Kendall said. He didn't know why Logan was holding him so tenderly, but he wasn't about to tell him to stop.
"Oh. So... you don't remember... um..."
"What? Did I do something...?"
"Well... you..." Logan was stuck. He was so happy when Kendall finally kissed him. And now he didn't even remember doing it. What should he say? Should he tell him? He didn't want to lie. But what if he didn't really want to kiss him? "You told me you don't like to be alone, so I agreed to stay with you. And then..." Logan smiled at the memory, "you told me about hearing my voice for the first time. And you told me you were afraid that this was all a dream or that I would get sick of you one day, but promised this was real and that I would never get tired of having you around."
"I said all of that?" Kendall had no clue.
"Yeah. It must have been the drugs making you less afraid to talk about it. That's probably why you can't remember, too. So... was it true?"
Kendall looked conflicted. "Yeah, all of that is true. I just didn't plan on telling you any of it."
"Why not? I liked hearing it. It made me feel good."
"It did?"
"Absolutely. And... I said some things too."
"Like what?"
"I um... I told you I like you."
"You like me?"
"Yeah. I like you a lot, Kendall." Logan continued to stroke Kendall's hair as he moved his other hand up to brush a finger over his lips.
"Oh. Oh. You mean..."
"You shook up my world, Kendall. I went into that kitchen thinking it would be boring and that it would be the longest month of my life. But then you came in and... the month just flew by. I know we haven't known each other long but I can't imagine my life without you."
"You know I... I feel the same..."
"I do know. You kissed me."
"I what?" Kendall was shocked.
"You kissed me. It was so perfect... I just wish you could remember it..."
"Maybe... you should remind me?" Kendall said hopefully.
"I can definitely do that." Logan moved forward to press his lips forcefully over Kendall's. "Did that jog your memory?"
"A little. I kind of remember saying I love your voice..."
"What's so special about my voice anyway?"
"It just... it spoke to me, you know? I heard you and James singing, and don't get me wrong, he can really sing too, but you... there was just this... like magical quality to your voice. Like you were talking to me, almost..."
"Who knows, maybe I was talking to you. All that time... those lyrics... they were all about finding someone..."
"You think this was meant to happen?" Kendall asked, disbelieving. "Like... fate... or something?"
"Why not? You know... bringing you in here was one of the best things I've ever done. Sometimes I think about it and wonder why I did it. I didn't even know you. But something was telling me that... that I needed to have you in my life..."
"I know what you mean. That's how it felt for me too. I knew... I knew I was just a regular person and you're a huge star but I always hoped one day I'd meet you. I just couldn't let that wish go."
"And now here we are."
"And... where exactly are we?" Kendall needed some clarification.
"Hmm. Well, it looks like we've gone past friendship..."
"How far past?" Kendall finally felt confident enough to reach out and touch Logan. He began to rub his side as he stared into his eyes.
"Pretty far. And we've been picking up speed."
"You really don't mind that I was homeless? Logan... I'm not just low-class. I have nothing to offer you... Why would you even want me?"
"Nothing to offer? Kendall, don't ever say that. Do I seem like the kind of person who would care about your money or lack thereof?"
"No..."
Logan touched his forehead to Kendall's. "And you can give me more then the richest man in the world. You're smart and creative and you're such a strong person. All this time... I didn't know what I was looking for until I found it... in you. Kendall... it might seem like I'm moving kind of fast but I know I never want to lose you."
"I don't want you to lose me either." Kendall admitted quietly.
"Good. So... you... you'd be alright moving into my room, then?"
"Your... your room?"
"Yeah. I'm not... I'm not being forward or anything but... it would be silly for you to sleep alone now that we're together."
"We're together?" Kendall asked with a playful smirk.
Logan blushed. "Well... I just assumed... but if you don't want..."
"Logan, I'm kidding." Kendall grabbed Logan's hand and shyly kissed his cheek. "You need to learn to relax. Of course I want us to be together."
Logan chuckled. "I'm so glad..."
"But you said your room was off limits..."
"That's just because I'm a little... shy... about letting people into my room. You see... uhm... before this I was... not really looking for any kind of relationship. I just wanted to focus on my career and med school and everything... I wanted to wait until things settled down. But I don't want to wait anymore. I really think we have something, Kendall. I'm not going to let it slip away."
"I'm that important to you?"
"Of course. I wasn't kidding when I said you were one of the most important people in my life." Logan said happily.
"So... does this mean we can go out?"
Logan thought for a second. "Absolutely. You know James invited us to double with him tomorrow night. I wasn't sure how to ask you but... would you like to go?"
"Sure. I like James."
"I'm so glad you two are becoming friends. Plus I can finally meet his new boyfriend properly."
"Tonight is your last night at the kitchen, right?" Kendall asked suddenly.
"Yes. Why?"
"Well... you start litter control tomorrow morning..."
"Yes..." Logan wasn't sure where Kendall was going with that.
"How early will you be leaving?"
"Oh. Pretty early. We start just before the sun rises so it isn't too hot while we're working."
"So you'll be gone every morning then?"
"I'm sorry..." Logan hadn't thought of that. He didn't want to leave Kendall alone every single morning
"Don't worry about it..." Kendall sighed sadly.
"No, Kendall... I don't want to be the guy that leaves his boyfriend to wake up by himself..."
"It's really not a big deal. Waking up alone isn't as bad as falling asleep alone..."
"You know if there was anything I could do, I'd never leave you alone again..."
"I know."
"What if... what if we get up early and have breakfast together before I leave? We'd have to wake up super early, but you wouldn't have to wake up alone..."
"I'd like that."
A/N: I'm not very pleased with how this chapter came out, but the next one is coming along pretty well (I think, anyway) so you have that to look forward to :)
