1 NRE
Leia felt her stomach roil as she clumsily made her way to the Falcon's refresher. She arrived only just in time, and retched into the bowl. Groaning, Leia sat on the 'fresher floor for a few moments, head in her hands as the nausea began to subside. Then she pulled herself up to the sink and began to run the tap.
Leia washed out her mouth and patted some cool water on her flushed cheeks. As a small child she had suffered from hyperspace sickness, but over the years she had become so used to space travel that it rarely bothered her anymore. She hadn't even eaten anything that morning, so it couldn't be anything like that causing her stomach to flip-flop.
There was another option, and Leia counted back the days. It would still be very early, but absolutely possible. Leia recalled that in the frantic wedding arrangements, she'd forgotten to make an appointment to refresh her repress meds. The Falcon had no medical droid, so Leia would have to wait for confirmation until they returned to Coruscant. Unless...Leia closed her eyes and slowed her breathing as Luke had taught her, opening herself up to the Force.
She felt it almost immediately, a small burst of life in her womb that had not been there previously. Leia's eyes snapped open as wonder and delight flooded through her. She was pregnant.
She and Han had talked about it, of course. One simply did not marry a man without making plans for the future, even vague ones. Han had always been enthusiastic and playful, telling her that he wanted dozens of children - at least enough to field a smashball team. She'd laughed and called him a nerfherder, and suggested that they start with just one, when the time was right.
There had been, however, a small niggling doubt in the back of her mind. It was likely that any child of Leia's would be strong in the Force, an almost certain legacy of the Skywalker bloodline. Such strength and power posed as much danger as it did joy, and Leia feared that the child may not be able to cope with it. She and Luke thus far had avoided what some might see as a curse, if they knew about their true parentage, but what of Leia's offspring - what of Luke's, if he ever had any children? There was so much that was uncertain and dangerous that it had splintered her heart with fear.
And yet now that it had happened, now that Leia could feel the life growing inside of her that felt like the purest form of hope, she was no longer afraid. She was merely curious.
Leia retreated into the Force again, as Luke had taught her, allowing herself to be a conduit of pure energy. It was in this state Luke had been able to compel visions and tap into a Jedi's precognitive abilities. Leia reached out to the Force, looking into the future to see what it beheld for her unborn child.
After a few minutes Leia pulled herself back, the visions unwilling to come to her. She had seen nothing, not a glimpse of what her child's future would be like. Leia sighed with frustration, but reminded herself that she was still untrained in the way of the Force, and she doubted that precognition would ever be one of her strengths. Luke had told her that as a child he'd often experienced what he called a future sight, a perception of events that could unfold. It was what made him such a talented pilot; the ability to anticipate the next move and react accordingly. To others it seemed as if his reflexes were unbelievably quick, but Leia had observed a greater kinship between Luke and any machine he flew than mere luck or fast reaction times. He could sense the action before it happened.
However Leia was not jealous of his skills, for she had her own strengths. Her friend Winter used to call her a human lie-detector, since Leia could always spot a deception. It was a skill that had served her well in her Senate days, which was why her father had suggested she take his place to represent Alderaan, although she had only been fourteen at the time. Leia had since learned that her biological mother Padmé had been Queen of Naboo at fourteen, and Leia had wondered whether there had been a gift from her father Bail in that, since he could not share with her the truth.
Smiling to herself and resting her hand on her belly, Leia wondered what her child's gifts would be. Surely the child would be strong in the Force, perhaps even a Jedi, and Leia had no doubt that they would inherit Han's love of flying. It occurred to her that she should go and interrupt her husband's work on the Falcon's weapon systems, but Leia decided to wait. It was hard to get Han's attention when he was working on his first baby, and Leia wanted the moment to be special.
So instead Leia made her way to the Falcon's galley to make herself some rootgrass tea which would hopefully calm her stomach. She sat at the small meals table and sipped her tea quietly, the happiness of her newfound knowledge tempered slightly by the continued absence of her brother. Every day she could not feel him the Force made the hole in her heart wider, and Leia knew she would not feel complete again until they found him. What gave her more concern was fear that some tragedy had befallen him on Myrkr, and she was desperate to get to the planet herself and investigate.
Leia was halfway through her second cup of tea when Han ambled into the galley, wiping his hands on a grease-stained rag. "I've amped up the firepower for the quad-lasers by another 6 percent," he told her proudly as he rifled through the stores for a snack. Leia knew Han was as concerned about Luke as she was and his focus on tinkering with the Falcon was merely the direction of his concern into something useful.
"Congratulations," Leia told him with a small smile, enjoying the double meaning which she alone knew.
"Now the old girl's got the best weaponry in the galaxy," he turned around and grinned at her, leaning casually against the counter. "If I do say so myself. Lando's gonna keel over in jealousy when he sees it."
Leia stood and slowly made her way over to her husband, resting her hands against his chest and looking up at him adoringly. She knew he would make a wonderful father and couldn't wait to begin the journey with him, despite her previous misgivings. With Han beside her, she could do anything.
Overcome by the wave of love and gratitude for his presence in her life, Leia reached up and pulled Han's face down to hers, kissing him firmly. He returned her kiss with added vigor, his hands running down her back and holding her tightly against him.
"What's all this then?" Han chuckled when he pulled away, although still held her in his embrace. "Why the surge of affection, princess?"
"Because I love you," Leia answered,and held his face in her small hands, his stubble pleasantly coarse under her touch. "Because you make me so happy."
"And how is that different from any other day?" he joked.
"It's different today," she told him with a brilliant smile. "Because we're going to have a baby."
His look of shock was priceless, and Leia laughed lightly. "A baby?" he asked, dumbfounded. "How?"
Leia laughed again, throwing her head back in mirth. "You know very well how, you lunk," she teased him.
"Well, yeah, but…" Han seemed blindsided, and yet could not keep the lopsided grin from his face. "This is incredible."
"It is," Leia agreed.
"What...what is it?" Han asked. "Can you tell?"
She focussed again inside of her, to the spark of life which jumped pleasantly at her touch. Leia grinned at her husband, filled with utter love and contentment.
"It's a boy."
29 NRE
Mara sat in the commissary of the Jedi Temple, eating lunch with her daughter. She pushed her food around her tray absently, trying to force herself to take another bite of the poorly seasoned meat. It had been a while since she had eaten at the hall which serviced the Academy students, but she'd taken to opportunity to meet Cilla for lunch between classes.
"Master Solusar said I'm getting really good at telekenisis," Cilla was telling her excitedly. "And I beat Alema in a duel today."
Mara smiled at her daughter. "You're still using practice sabers, right?"
"Yeah." Cilla sighed theatrically. "I can't wait to become a padawan and start proper training."
"You have started your proper training," Mara reminded her gently. "The foundation skills are the most important to learn, which is why you won't get a Master until you're sixteen."
"You sound like Master Solusar," Cilla pouted. "He made me do Archive duty twice last week - to learn patience, he said."
Mara smiled to herself, and wondered if Kam had sent Cilla to the more tolerant Tionne for Archive work to give himself a break from the child's exuberance. Mara loved her daughter dearly, and cherished Cilla's eternal high spirits the boundless enthusiasm with which she approached life, but it could wear a person out. And yet she desperately hoped her daughter would never lose that joyous embrace for life - Mara herself had been so young when it was drilled out of her.
Cilla's commlink buzzed, and she reached for it eagerly, smiling at the name which flashed on the small screen. "Can I answer, Mum?" she pleaded. Usually Mara forbade comm use at the table, but she was feeling particularly indulgent of her youngest that day.
"Alright," Mara waved her hand in acquiescence and Cilla gave her a broad smile before popping in her earpiece and answering the call.
"Hey!" she said exuberantly, twirling the end of her blonde braid around one finger. "Nothing, just having lunch...yeah it's totally gross, like usual." Cilla listened for a few moments and then laughed. "No, I haven't seen that one, send it to me!" She pulled out a datapad from her satchel and began typing, plugging in her earpiece to the device so she could listen to whatever her friend was sending her.
While Mara was happy to make an effort to listen to her daughter's chatter when it was directed to her, she had no desire to suffer through a double dose of teenage exuberance. She pulled out her own commlink and put in her earpiece, punching in the coding frequency she knew by heart.
"Hello, Mara," Karrde's warm voice flooded through her ear. "It's good to hear from you."
"You need to organise a new catering for the Academy, Karrde," Mara responded without preamble. "Even Cilla is complaining about the food, and she'll eat anything."
"Ah, yes, there's been a bit of a problem with the usual supplier," Karrde answered smoothly. "I've got someone on it, but I'll make sure they make a trip down there to sort it out."
"Why don't you send Micah?" Mara winced at the plaintive tone in her own voice.
"Can't, I'm afraid," Karrde answered. "He's already on a mission."
Mara didn't like the sound of that. "Where?"
"Mara…"
"Talon," Mara cut him off before he could spout nonsense about secrecy. "Where."
Karrde was silent for a long moment. "Corellia," he said eventually. "He's investigating the Human League - my sources think they've got something to do with the recent disturbance."
Mara took a deep breath, forcing herself to run several Jedi calming exercises though her mind before speaking. "So you've sent my son to a volatile planet which recently suffered a terrorist attack," she said in the most even tone she could manage. "Where he will implant himself amongst the xenophobic, violent group likely responsible."
"I sent him to observe only," Karrde said smoothly. "I specifically told him not to interact with them."
Mara rolled her eyes. "He's a Skywalker, Talon," she reminded him. "If there was a way to make sure he'll do something, it's to tell him to do the opposite." Mara sighed and rubbed her temple where a headache was forming. "Which I gather was your intention."
Karrde cleared his throat uncomfortably, which confirmed Mara's suspicions. "He's twenty-one, Mara," he added gently. "A man now."
"He's still my son," Mara responded shortly. She trusted Micah's abilities, and it was hardly the first dangerous situation he'd been in, but Mara had the proverbial bad feeling about the whole thing.
"Of course he is, Mara," Karrde said evenly. "I would never forget that, and only ask of Micah what I feel he is capable of."
"People are capable of any great number of things," Mara said shortly. "That doesn't mean they should do them." For Mara, that had been a lesson hard learned. There were things she wished she'd never learned she was capable of.
"I know that, Mara." Karrde's voice was warm and sympathetic.
"Keep me informed,' Mara said shortly and ended the call without waiting for a reply. She told herself that she should have been expecting something like this. Her danger sense had rattled the moment Micah said Karrde needed him back so soon after he'd been granted furlough. Or perhaps it had simply been prolonged exposure to the Skywalker tendency to throw themselves headfirst into dangerous situations.
It seemed to her that the more Micah tried to rail against his father and family destiny, the more it became clear how much like Luke he really was - an easy geniality concelaing and hard-set recklessness. Ben, on the other hand, although he followed his father's path, was serious, sarcastic and proud, and more like Mara that either wanted to admit. And Cilla...Mara smiled as she watched her daughter chatter rapidly over the comm, trading commentary about a holo on her datapad. It was too soon to guess the path she would follow.
It was funny, Mara mused to herself; Luke had one son who desperately wanted to be like him, another son who wanted to distance himself from him as much as possible, and a daughter who, above anything else, simply adored him. It wasn't such a terrible fate, Mara thought as she checked her chrono and saw that the lunch hour was over.
"Cilla," she said to her daughter, trying to get her attention over the animated conversation. "Come on."
"Okay, I have to go, Mum's being annoying," Cilla rolled her eyes. "Bye, CC….oh, that's your new nickname." Cilla laughed and listened to what seemed to be a loud reaction - even Mara could hear the indignant tone even though she couldn't hear the words. "The more you protest, the more I'm going to use it," Cilla added in a sing-song voice. "CC." She giggled again and hung up.
Mara sighed and ran a hand over her eyes "Go to class, Cilla."
In one of the many practice rooms of the Jedi Temple, Jaina's violet lightsaber blade met Mara's blue in a flurry of movement. She was only just managing to repel the forceful blows of her Master's unrelenting attack. With increased focus, Jaina reached out to the Force, drawing on it for strength to hold off Mara's saber as she adjusted her footwork, slipping from Form V into Form VII.
Jaina knew that Mara disliked the erratic and uncontrolled nature of Juyo, although she had become a practitioner through extensive practice and a desire to add the tool to her arsenal. In combat her Master much preferred Forms IV and V, since they were more direct and less flashy. As Mara had told her many times, if you were in a lightsaber duel, you should not be concerned with showing off your style and proficiency, but finding the quickest and most effective way to win.
But she had taught Jaina Form VII on request, and Jaina found she liked the ferociousness and fire of the style. What Jaina hadn't told her Master was that she had been studying the more aggressive aspect of form, Vaapad, on her own. She'd copied instructional holos from the Temple Archive and had been spending most evenings learning and practicing the fundamentals as dictated by Jedi Master of the old order Mace Windu.
Luke was the only Jedi of the New Order proficient in Vaapad, but he intensely disliked the style and discouraged its use. Still, Jaina was confident that she could master it, although she was painfully aware that one needed to be in a real combat situation to employ it properly. The style required one to channel their aggressiveness into the duel, and so it skirted the edge of the dark side.
Jaina allowed her frustration to simmer to the surface, channelling it into the battle and yet remaining seperate from those feelings and not allowing them to dip into the dark. However, she soon found that she had not practiced the form enough, and could not conjure up the required power. Jaina was quickly outmatched as Mara came at her with ferocious, precision-perfect attacks. It was an onslaught, and Jaina had never before appreciated that her aunt had always fought her in the guise of a tutor, the point of their duels to instruct Jaina, not to claim victory over her.
But something had raised Mara's ire, and she'd found a way to unleash it in the sparring square. There was a wild moment of fear as Jaina lost her balance, her right arm flinging out wildly to parry Mara's attack as she hurtled backwards to the ground. She could not keep the grip on her saber as it was knocked out of her hand by Mara's blow, deactivating as it hit the sparring mat. Jaina landed heavily on her rear, somewhat dazed as she looked at her right hand which had come close to being sliced off. She almost thought she could feel the burn of Mara's saber as it had narrowly missed her skin.
Mara looked down at Jaina. "Again," she said.
Jaina rose obediently and called her saber to her hand, igniting the violet blade. This time she was ready for Mara's brute force attack, and Jaina held her ground, trusting on her own strength to deflect Mara's blow. The two sparred for a while after that, and Jaina was relieved when Mara stepped back and deactivated her saber, clipping it to her belt.
"Good," Mara told her approvingly. "Your stamina's improved." She moved to the corner of the sparring square and took a long drink from a water flask. Jaina joined her, the water soothing her parched throat.
"Thanks. You know I've been doing pretty well," Jaina opined, trying to sound casual. "I think I might be ready for the Trials."
"Do you now," Mata's smile was amused. "Too bad it's what I think that matters."
Jaina fought the urge to pout, knowing how much it irritated her aunt. "So when do you think I might be ready?"
"Don't be so eager, Jaina," Mara cautioned her. "It will not serve you well."
"I know, I should be patient and calm," Jaina recited. "But sometimes I can't help but feel that I'm missing out things. I mean, look at everything you'd accomplished when you were my age."
"I accomplished many things,' Mara said sharply, and turned away. "But none of them good."
Jaina looked down at her boots. Her aunt's past as the Emperor's Hand was an open secret, although Mara rarely brought it up unless specifically asked. And yet, Jaina couldn't stop herself from pressing the issue.
"During the Clone Wars padawans my age were leading armies," Jaina argued. "They were given the chance to prove themselves."
"You've been on plenty of missions with me, Jaina," Mara reminded her, a warning in her voice. "But you know your Uncle's view on the matter, and I agree with him. We're not about to send children to war." Mara moved to the side of the practice room, picking up her robe and wrapping it around herself.
Jaina bit her lip, wanting to retort that she was not a child, but thought better of it. "I know Mom and Dad don't want me to take the Trials yet," she said softly. "They want me to stay on Coruscant, and that's not fair. And you and Uncle Luke are conspiring with them."
Mara turned back to her, her expression cold and stony. "You think I'm holding you back deliberately?"
"My training has been twice as intense as some of the other Jedi who've been knighted," Jaina persisted, for now that she'd started this she was unwilling to back down. "I just don't think it's fair that I have to suffer because everyone is too overprotective of me."
"Jaina, you don't know anything about suffering," Mara told her harshly. "You've never experienced it. Don't you know how lucky you are?" she continued, a note of anguish in her voice. "You had the childhood that none of us did. So be angry at me, Luke and your parents if you like, but at least appreciate why."
Suitably chastised, Jaina withdrew into herself. She knew very well that her parents as well as her aunt and uncle had grown up all but orphans in a hash galaxy, and couldn't imagine what she would have done in the same circumstances.
"I do," she apologised. "I'm sorry."
Mara sighed and crossed her arms, regarding Jaina thoughtfully. "Do you know why am I so hard on you in training?"
"Because you enjoy inflicting pain?" Jaina said ruefully.
"No," Mara answered, although a smile tugged at her lips. "I am hard on you because you are incredibly strong in the Force, Jaina. You could be the greatest Jedi of your generation. But power must always be tempered with restraint. It is because of your natural abilities that you must train harder, not despite them. You must be ready for temptation when it inevitably comes."
A familiar shadow passed over Jaina's heart, an old fear resurfacing. "But I'll never be as good as he would have been will I?"
"I don't know what you mean, Jaina." Mara looked away uneasily.
"Yes you do," Jaina challenged her. "I'm talking about my brother. I asked Uncle Luke about it, and he told me that when he reached out to him in my mother's womb, he could sense how powerful in the Force he was going to be." Jaina felt her lip tremble. "What he should have been."
Mara kept her gaze askew and sighed. "Luke shouldn't have told you that. I would have lied, personally. But he can't."
"You told me about him in the first place," Jaina pointed out.
"I shouldn't have done it," Mara shook her head. "I least I had an excuse - I was drunk and you were far too pushy."
"It wasn't fair for anyone to keep it from me," Jaina said, her temper flaring again. "I had a right to know."
Mara finally looked back at her, her face filled with pity and regret. "We were trying to prevent you from feeling exactly the way you are now."
"I could sense what Uncle Luke didn't want to tell me," Jaina continued with anguish, fresh pain which prevent the wound from healing. "They thought my brother was hope after the war, the first of the new Jedi children to carry on the legacy. He was meant to be the new Chosen One, and I'm just...the spare!"
"Jaina," Mara grabbed her firmly by the shoulders. "Don't talk like that, or concern yourself with what might have been."
Jaina took a deep breath and tried to calm herself, but was unable to stop the tears from falling down her cheeks. She desperately missed the brother she had never known, the boy who should have been there for her to look up to, to teach her and keep her company and conspire against their parents with. Her whole life, she had felt as if something was missing, and ever since she'd found out what it was she couldn't stop herself from dwelling on why. She reached out into the Force and felt a profound emptiness, an overwhelming sadness about what should have been, but wasn't.
"Not everything is due to our own decisions and actions, or the machinations of the Force," Mara continued passionately, squeezing her shoulders and forcing Jaina to raise her gaze. "There's no great plan that has gone awry, or that you need to fix. Sometimes terrible things happen for no reason at all, and we must accept that."
Jaina sniffed and nodded, knowing that her master was right. She felt Mara's soft touch through the Force, and allowed her aunt's presence to wash over her like a soothing balm. This was followed by Mara's firm embrace which Jaina accepted gratefully.
"You are not a spare or a substitute, Jaina," Mara whispered softly as she stroked her hair. "Above all else you are loved."
In her aunt's arms Jaina felt her equilibrium return, and while the wound did not heal and perhaps would never heal, the pain receded. Jaina resolved not to bring the subject up again, and to that night go to her mother in comfort and understanding. She'd been avoiding both her parents for the past few days, knowing that it was the anniversary of her brother's death, but now Jaina thought perhaps it was finally time to be honest with them.
Mara's commlink beeped insistently, and she sighed as she drew it from her belt and thumbed it on. "Yes?"
"Master Jade, Syal Antilles is here to see you."
"Send her to my office," Mara answered curtly. "I'll be there shortly."
Jaina didn't miss her aunt's discomfort, and knew that she'd not seen Syal since her broken engagement with Ben the previous year. Neither woman said anything in the short trip to Mara's office, adjoining Luke's in the centre of the Jedi Temple, but Jaina could feel her aunt's unease.
Syal was standing at attention in the centre of Mara's office, back ramrod straight and arms folded over her chest in the body language Jaina had observed in most NRI officers.
"Hello, Master Jade," Syal greeted them formally as they entered. "Jaina."
Mara's face softened and she smiled wryly. "You're too old now to call me Auntie, huh?"
Syal was flustered for a moment. "Of course not," she said, a blush spreading across her pale cheeks. "I just thought…" Syal's face broke into a smile and she laughed. "Aunt Mara."
Mara swept forward and gave Syal a quick but firm hug. Whatever discomfort or displeasure she had felt about Syal and and her son, it had clearly faded upon actually seeing the woman she had known since her birth. Luke and Mara were Syal's hold-parents, after all, and that connection was more important than any troubles between her and Ben.
"How are you, Syal?" Jaina asked, popping herself up to sit on Mara's desk, for which she received an exasperated look. However Mara said nothing and merely took her usual seat behind her desk, facing Syal.
Syal sighed. "It's been pretty tense at headquarters, as I'm sure you can imagine," she told them, relaxing enough to take a seat and crossing one leg over the other. "New security protocols have been put in place, but there's no telling if they'll be able to slice through the encryptions on the datapad they stole. Director Ghent's got a team on it."
"Yes, well I think I might be able to help," Mara said, and Jaina was surprised. She hadn't been aware Mara was the one who had arranged the meeting with Syal.
"Chewbacca heard two lower-levellers talking about the breach, and they seemed to have information which was classified." Mara took two pieces of flimsiplast from her desk and handed it to Syal. "I had Tionne sketch these from his description."
It took Jaina less than half a second to recognise the pair in the sketch as they passed by her - a tall, purple Lasat and a human with dark curly hair. She remembered Quix's sly grin and mocking words: there ain't no secrets on Coruscant, me lovely.
"I know who they are," Jaina told them, taking the flimsys from Syal to get a closer look. "Quix Treelaj and Petar Sillow - Zeb knew them in the old days." She looked up and saw Mara and Syal's surprise. "We saw them the night NRI headquarters was attacked."
"Are you sure it's them?" Syal queried.
Jaina nodded. It was too much of a coincidence, not to mention the fact that the Lasat race had almost been exterminated by the Empire years ago, and there would be precious few living on Coruscant.
"Do you think they were involved?" Syal asked.
"No." Jaina shook her head. "They know something though."
"Well we should pay them a visit," Mara suggested.
"Let me and Zeb go," Jaina jumped in, rising to her feet and turning to face Mara fully. "They might flee if a Jedi Master comes after them."
Mara leaned forward on her desk, his fingers steepling together in contemplation. Jaina locked her gaze on Mara's, asking silently for the chance.
"Take Syal for backup," Mara decreed. "And be careful."
