D/C: Naruto is neither Kenshin's or Haruka's. Although if we did own it, there would be less epic lameness and certain characters wouldn't have died.
(the authors appear)
DM: Well, real life has been difficult these last few months.
JM: Yeah, and we sincerely apologize for that.
DM: I'm now full time at work, which leaves me little time for writing
JM: And I have a job, too, and I'm also going into my senior year of high school. \ You can guess what I hardly have time to do.
DM: And our schedules barely align.. We got lucky and got this done in a day.
JM: Yup! We prevailed and delivered! And now we leave you to read the chapter!
o.O.o.O.o
A month after the unofficial start of Itachi's relationship with Iruka, Obito was trying to figure out when he'd use his single day of being alive for that month. He had been thinking of appearing to give Iruka the 'Big Brother talk' about dating his little sister, but the problem was Itachi had forbidden him from doing so.
He was hanging out in Itachi's room examining the calendar on her wall when the owner of the room burst into the room, tears threatening to spill out of her eyes as she slammed the door shut, threw herself on her bed, and screamed into her pillow.
"IMOTOU-CHAN?! WHAT HAPPENED?!" Obito shrieked, bewildered and worried.
"Iruka broke up with me!" Itachi whimpered. Even in the grip of grief she refused to let her secret slip and give Fugaku leverage over her mother and her.
"D-did he have a reason?" Obito's voice shook. At the moment, Obito's instincts were screaming for him to return to life and rip Iruka apart. After, of course, humiliating him so much he'd hide indoors for the rest of his life.
Itachi looked up from her pillow, tears rapidly streaming down her cheeks. "It was all a matter of public image...(hic) I HATE Mizuki!"
"What does that bastard Mizuki have to do with this?" Obito asked, anger dripping from every syllable he uttered, but he figured he'd get the facts before exacting revenge.
"He spotted Iruka and me sneaking off for some cuddle time and figured out we were in a relationship, only he didn't think I was a girl. He went to Fugaku and now the bastard is watching me even closer! And Iruka broke up with me!"
So it was Mizuki that Obito needed to exact revenge on specifically, not Iruka. Iruka was just a pawn in Fugaku's game, but Obito still needed to hear Iruka's side of the story.
There was a rapid, urgent series of knocking on the door, and Obito flew through it. "Oh, Hana, thank the heavens!" he said. "Itachi needs you desperately!"
I KNOW! Hana desperately thought. I could sense it from home! My canine instincts were going haywire!
Obito flew back into Itachi's room and unlocked the door.
"Hey, I just happened to overhear a certain silver haired asshole gloating to himself and after a little 'convincing' to get the story out of him I decided I should get my tail over here," said Hana as she sat down beside Itachi.
Itachi wiped her eyes, noticing the bit of dried blood under Hana's fingernails/claws. "What did you do to him?" she asked.
"Oh, shredded everything but his underwear, which happened to be bunnies hugging hearts, and carving 'I am an asshole' into his back with my claws before tossing him into the center of Konoha's market," replied the dog user.
"Looks like any revenge I could've thought up would be tame compared to yours, Hana-chan," Obito said.
"Oh, no, not really," Hana said offhandedly. "That was the best best best friend in the whole world revenge. That will be nothing compared to the big brother revenge, trust me, Obito."
"You're right, if you'll excuse me girls, I have to plan Operations: Bastard Humiliation!" With that, Obito fled the impending drama, he had sneaked a peak at enough of Itachi's hidden shoujo manga to know he did not want to be around for the next part.
o.O.o.O.o
Obito hovered over Iruka's bed, taking in the tear marks on the sleeping boy's face and the sad frown on his face. "It looks like he needs some help," muttered Obito, who knew Iruka had nobody to confide in since his parents were dead.
"I really hope he isn't dreaming about doing something hentai with Imotou-chan," said Obito before phasing down into Iruka's body and entering his dreams.
Obito grunted as he exited Iruka's body, the sun just rising over the Hokage monument. "Boy, talk about depressing, I hope I never have to do something like this again!"
Obito morphed into his thinking pose. "Now how to get him out of his depression. It would be a good idea if he had a friend...hmm..." he floated atop Iruka's roof for a few minutes before it hit him. "Kakashi!" he grinned triumphantly and zoomed over to Kakashi's home. "I can go into my life phase to tell Kakashi to comfort Iruka and then I'll comfort Imotou-chan like I'm supposed to!"
o.O.o.O.o
"Oof!" Obito nearly lost his footing as he climbed the wall up to Kakashi's room. "Man, I wish I could just float in a real body..." he barely managed to grab the windowsill before he fell to his second death. "Of course the idiot has chakra absorbing panels in the wall to keep his fangirls from walking up the wall and slipping in!"
Obito managed to fall into the room, very loudly, of course, and wake up Kakashi. Kakashi quickly sat up without thinking to put his mask on (bad idea) and shouted, "Who's there?"
"Tut, tut, Kakashi, a ninja's gotta always be on guard! I expected more of a jounin!" Obito shook his head and grinned.
Kakashi stared at his dead teammate for a moment before his eyes rolled back in his head and he fainted. Obito blinked, before realizing Kakashi's mask was off. Seeing a permanent marker on Kakashi's desk, Obito's face gained a Cheshire grin. "The fangirls do have something to fangirl about, but this is too much of a good chance NOT to use this marker!"
Obito stepped back a few moments later, having replaced Kakashi's mask so he wouldn't suspect anything. "Oi, Kakashi, wake up!" yelled Obito as he kicked his old teammate in the side.
"I'm up, I'm up..." Kakashi grumbled, rubbing his side. "Yeesh, Obito, even as a dead person you can still kick like a horse... Wait, you're dead, you shouldn't be here!" Obito sweatdropped at this delayed realization.
"Baka!" said Obito as he slammed his fist into the dazed Kakashi's head. "Even with my eye helping you you're an idiot!"
One dust cloud and several bumps on the head later, Obito sat on Kakashi's bed, arms folded, legs crossed, and a dead serious expression on his face. "Okay, I'm gonna tell you the real reason I'm alive for a day. Iruka broke up with his girlfriend yesterday, but it was against his will, and he seriously needs a friend."
"What about Itachi?" Kakashi said--even after all these years he still hadn't figured it out.
"Kakashi no Baka!" growled Obito, causing another dust cloud to form and he pummeled the clueless Jounin.
"Okay, let's get serious, Kakashi. I want you to be Iruka's friend in this time that needs one. All you have to do is listen to him and support him. Spend some time with him, let the guy have some time with someone other than his teammates."
Not wanting to get into another fight, Kakashi nodded.
o.O.o.O.o
Many people were surprised to see the normally cheery Iruka talking to Kakashi later that day. The scarred ninja was unusually serious and the last Hatake was actually listening to him and didn't have his nose buried in Icha Icha.
Mizuki found himself waking up in the middle of Konoha, but naked except for signs questioning his masculinity, gender preferences, and a bag full of womens' under wear in his hands. Obito had been busy that day after his talk with Kakashi and laughed as he watched Mizuki run from angry women and amorous men.
Kakashi and Iruka just watched this humiliation. Kakashi clapped a hand on Iruka's shoulder. "C'mon, let's see where this ends up." the masked ninja was clearly grinning.
Iruka slowly began to grin, too, his prankster genius brain beginning to plan what he hoped would be his greatest prank ever. "Oh, yeah..."
The two were soon joined by Naruto, who was eager to help get revenge for his favorite baby sitter. And where Naruto went, Hinata was sure to follow, helping the group keep track of Mizuki with her Byakugan.
Itachi and Hana looked out of Itachi's bedroom window to see where all of the noise was coming from. Naruto looked up and waved at Itachi. "Come on, Itachi! Let's go get revenge!"
With Konoha's most brilliant prankster minds bent on his destruction, Mizuki found the whole day being a living torture. Naruto or Hinata would constantly point out his hiding places to the enraged women, while Kakashi and Iruka would 'subdue the pervert' for the righteous feminine wrath. Naruto added to his misery by providing clothes soaked in meat sauce while Hinata let the Inuzuka dogs loose. Even worse was when Iruka grabbed a running Tora the cat and tossed the frightened pet into Mizuki's face.
Itachi wanted to join in on the fun, but after all of her crying and her heart still breaking, she just didn't have the strength, so she and Hana just watched.
At one point, she and Iruka caught each others' gaze, and Itachi's heart jumped into her throat. The previous day had said it all, what was there left to say?
Itachi painfully half-smiled, and Iruka returned the expression.
Iruka slowly made his way to Itachi. "Um...you should...you should get back home. Who knows if Fugaku's got any more spies, and you participating in the revenge will just confirm his suspicions." he said lowly.
Itachi nodded, biting her lip. "Th-thanks, Iruka." she held out her hand, and Iruka clapped it into a tight grip.
"Friends forever?" asked Iruka.
"Friends forever." Itachi agreed, the tears filling up in her eyes again. She released her hand from Iruka's grip and ran as fast as she could back home, letting the tears fly into the wind.
Iruka sighed before darting off to join in the game of Mizuki piƱata they had started for Naruto, Hinata, and the other kids their age, just in time to see Hinata swing the club and make sure Mizuki wouldn't have a chance to contribute his DNA to the gene pool.
o.O.o.O.o
Back in her room, Itachi plopped down on her bed and stared up at the ceiling, just letting herself cry. She reached for her necklace, and just gripped it in her hands. She didn't have the heart to just tear it off of her neck and get rid of it. This necklace represented a very happy part of her life, and she wanted to remember that part, even if it ended in sorrow.
Obito floated down from the ceiling and just lay there next to his favorite cousin, his presence just being all Itachi needed.
o.O.o.O.o
JM: Well, that was heartbreaking, yet enlightening.
DM: Yes, but I enjoyed writing Mizuki's torture.
JM: What next, nii-chan? (grins)
DM: Ummm... Uchiha Massacre??
JM: YES! PREPARE FOR EPICNESS!
DM: though things probably won't go as Canon.
JM: Okay, we got you all riled up, but keep anticipating! We love you all, but we don't know when the next chapter will be up! We're just as clueless as you are!
DM: Yep!
JM: Okay, let's wrap it up before we start babbling!
DM: See you next time everyone!
JM: Ja ne!
