I Always Will

Chapter 12

I walked over to Brooke. Taking a seat on the bed next to her. Leaning over taking her hands on mine.

We have our picked out girl names. We can narrow things down and put one in the certificate. I said. Staring up at her.

She looked over at me. Her voice quiet and withdrawn.

Audrey Karen Scott she said. Taking her hands from mine. Wrapping them around herself.

I grabbed a pen off the tray and wrote the name down. Filling out the spaces needed for parents names. Once there was nothing else to fill out I put the pen down.

Sometime later the doctor and the nurse came back into the room. Collecting the papers and asking if we wanted pictures taken.

Brooke shook her head looking away. Her eyes staying focused on the cot next to her.

I agreed to the pictures. Getting access to a camera. Snapping photos of her and then a picture was taken of the two of us as I held her. After that I placed her back down. The nurse looked over at us. And told us it was time for them to take her.

I picked her up once more placing a kiss on her forehead. I walked over to Brooke and asked her if she wanted to say goodbye.

She looked up at me and held out her hands.

I carefully placed Audrey in her arms.

I looked out the window wanting to give them a moment to themselves.

My heart was aching I couldn't and didn't understand it. Why this happened. None of it made any sense to me. I looked down at her and wanted nothing more then for her to awaken and look back at me. For me to put my finger in her hand and watch as she gripped it with her tiny fingers that wasn't going to happen. And this being our reality now wasn't a truth I was able to wrap my my mind around.

I leaned over kissing her cheek. Trying not to completely become undone. I love you. Thank you for making me a momma. I said. Placing her back down in the cot by my bed.

The nurse then wheeled her away. Out of the room then into the hallway. The hospital room door closing behind her.

The doctor stayed behind and began to speak with us. About funeral arrangements and the options we had. So much of it was a blur. Eventually the doctor left the room apologizing for our loss again.

It was now just Brooke and l.

You need to rest and recover. Don't worry about telling everyone I will do that. It's going to be okay. We are have gone through so much we'll get through this too. I said. Locking eyes with her.

I'm not okay. I won't ever be again. She's gone! All these months waiting and dreaming about what our life would be like none of that matters anymore. I wanted this so bad. I am broken and empty. I am a mother without a child to love. It hurts to move and breathe. They say it was no ones fault. But she was growing and living inside me. I am her mother my only job was to love and protect her. And none of that was enough! I yelled. Tears falling from my eyes. As I became overcome by a feeling I knew to well. A broken heart.

He attempted to reach out to me and hold me and try to make the world make sense again. But that was impossible. Because we couldn't go back and nothing would change the fact that she was dead. And we were left here to figure out a life without her.

I don't want to leave you. But our friends and family are in the waiting room. Expecting us to reappear happy with a baby in our arms. I'm trying to figure out what to say. I said. Looking back at her.

Just tell the truth. That's all we have now. She said. Turning away from him. Laying her head down on the pillow.

I walked out of the hospital room and went down the hallway.

Looking up trying to compose myself as I walked over to where everyone was.

Where's the baby.? Who does she look like.? Haley asked.

When can we see her.? Karen asked.

I looked up at them found a way to speak.

She died. I say. The words leaving my lips leaving a sore taste in my mouth.

I watch the expressions on their faces change. From excitement and happiness. To shock and devastation.

I'm so sorry my boy. My mom said. Wrapping me in her arms.

Everything was going so well why did this happen.? Haley asked. Tears welling up in her eyes.

It was then that I explained the cause of death the doctors told us.

Haley hugged me next. Squeezing tightly.

How's Brooke.? Rachel asked.

She's destroyed, heartbroken. I said. Looking back at her. Remembering the pictures that were taken. I remove them from my pocket and show it to them.

She was beautiful. Karen said. Emotion thick in her voice.

She was the perfect combination of you and Brooke. Haley said. As she passed the photos around.

Can we go and see her.? Rachel asked.

Yeah the doctors said people can visit two at a time. I told her. Looking back at everyone.

Do you want to go Karen.? Haley asked.

I'll go later. You and Rachel go on ahead. Karen said.

Lucas lead us through the hallway to the front of Brooke's hospital room.

I opened the door and Haley walked in first I went in after her closing the door behind us.

We went over to where Brooke was and sat down on each side of the bed.

Brooke looked up at us and we wrapped our arms around her.

She collapsed in our arms the once quiet room was now filled with her sobs.

Days Later

Brooke was able to go home. We drove in silence.

The radio playing softly in the background.

Eventually we made it home. I helped her out of the car. We walked inside out home together.

She headed up the stairs and I went after her.

Brooke walked slowly through the hallway. And stopped at the nursery door.

She put her hand on the knob opening the door and walked inside.

Do you want me to come with you.? I to her.

No I don't. And with that she shut the door behind her.

...

Author's note : Deciding to take this turn of events. Was something I thought over. My stories are meant to show you reality. And struggles that people and couples to through. This unexpected twist is the biggest test to Brooke and Lucas's relationship that they've ever experienced. How they cope with their loss will be displayed in a honest and true way. Thank you for the support. Review!