Chapter 12: Only the Night will Know

She heard the Captain's great discovery before she saw it. Off in the near distance she could hear a hissing sound, even as their feet tromped the ground finding their way in the dark. Why did it seem that everything was louder in the dark? Maybe it was because she couldn't see but a foot in front of her. But this didn't stop the Captain. He was undaunted by the lack of vision and seemed right at home making his way through the dark. It was as if their tables had turned and she was the Urbanite and he the mountain dweller.

They had now gone quite a distance from the riverbank. She was getting nervous that they wouldn't be able to find their way back to camp in the dark. When through the beams of the moonlight reflecting off the ground she saw silver lights of steam.

"What is that?" She broke their silence with the question. They hadn't said a word to each other since the little tit for tat they had had over her calling him by his first name. All through the moonlit walk she had wrestled with the fact that he was becoming very comfortable with her. A little too comfortable for her liking—how would they ever turn back from this? Here- it was just the two of them and they could be—whatever the heck they were being right now. But tomorrow when they finally reached home again they would become employer and employee once more. She knew the first time he looked her in the eye appraising her work with the children but then reached for the Baroness's hand she would die inside. And this scared the hell out of her, though she couldn't figure out why.

The Captain finally came to a stop in front a small pool of water nestled between two high foothills of the mountain. The steam that she had seen from a distance danced around the tip of the water like mystical fighting ghosts from days gone by.

The Captain turned to her with boyish pride, just like he had when he had returned to camp with the frogs. Where was her old Captain, she fleetingly wondered. She had known all summer it was going to be hard enough to leave that Captain, but this one…this one was going to rip her heart out.

"It's a hot spring!" The Captain declared in triumph while Maria continued to stare at the dark water as if the devil himself lived in its depths. "Resorts are built around these things Maria. People pay exorbitant amounts of money just to soak in waters like these and here is one free for the taking- just for us!"

"But that water looks boiling. It would burn our skin off." Why did she suddenly feel as if she was reasoning with Friedrich instead of his father?

"Those are just air bubbles, pushed up from the earth. The water is hot, but not too hot to burn. I tried it with my hand earlier. Do you honestly think I would lead you here if it were to harm you?" When she didn't answer he grabbed her hand, "Try it, you'll see." He pushed her over the water and dipped her fingers down into its depths. The bubbles tickled her skin while the water was the perfect temperature.

"Oh that is nice." She replied grabbing her hand from his and swirling it around the water.

"Let's go in!"

"Cap…Georg," she said his name like a mother reasoning with a child, "we don't have any swimming attire. And this is my only dry shirt to wear. We can't go in."

"You have on undergarments, don't you? Just take the shirt off."

"Oh…that would be…"

Immediately his hand raised up to halt her speech, "Don't say that word again!"

"You don't know what I was going to say."

"Yes I do. You were going to say, it's improper. And you'd be right, Maria. But you know what? This entire thing is improper but I'm trying to make the best of a bad situation. So let's just forget the rules for a while longer before we get back to life as we know it and live a little."

She looked into the pool of water again. After bouncing around in the carriage all day her muscles would love to soak in its heat. Maybe he was right. Maybe it wouldn't be a sin if they just forgot some of the rules for a while. They wouldn't be hurting anyone, would they?

"Where is that brave little girl that was adventurous enough to climb trees to peer into the forbidden abbey, Maria? Is she so imprisoned now behind those very walls that she can't see the world around her anymore?"

She raised her chin at him in defiance. She was about to give him what for when he grabbed her by the shoulders, silencing the words in her mouth. She thought he might kiss her again and her heart raced in fear at the idea or shuttered in anticipation. She hadn't had time to decide which for all he did was twist her body 180 degrees in the opposite direction from him. Now instead of facing him she was staring off into the abyss of darkness that surrounded them. Her heart fell to her stomach in-disappointment? What was she thinking?

His hands were still resting on either shoulder. Softly he dug his fingers in and gently pulled her back just a little. She felt his breath in her ear before she heard his words "Don't turn around." Three simple little words, which were more a command than anything. Yet something hot exploded in her chest and she felt dizzy from the impact. Behind her she could feel the whisper of his movements. Belt buckle loosening, buttons being undone, each one sent shivers down her spine. My God, she prayed in her head for guidance, why was this happening to her? Some sort of sweet anticipation ran through her that she didn't understand. It pulsed in time with her heart rate.

Then his hand was on her shoulder again and she gasped from the touch.

"If you don't mind, Maria, I'm going to use you for balance while I take these pants off."

Did he expect an answer? She tried to give him one but the lump in her throat wouldn't allow any speech. She murmured something inaudible while shaking her head. When he was through taking his pants off she saw out of the corner of her eye him lay the garment on the rock next to them. Next was his shirt. He was still standing directly behind her. She knew he was facing her though she couldn't see him, but every time his fingers moved from button to button the wind of his movements caused the back of her shirt to ripple just a little. And a thousand shivers course through her.

The shirt came to rest on top of the trousers. Next was his undershirt. This, however, didn't go on the rock. Instead he reached around her and handed her the garment.

"You could wear this over your intimates." He whispered in her ear. "I won't be able to see anything in the dark, I promise." Before he spoke the next words he bit back the bile of the lie. "You can trust me, Maria." Oh but could she trust herself? Wait!? What!? Now where the hell had that thought come from? It must have been that stranger again.

From behind her she heard the ripple of the water as the Captain entered the pool. She turned around in time to see his skivvied backside sink under the water. When he was fully immersed the water came just under his chest. Even though it was their only source of light tonight, she cursed the full moon and the clear sky.

"This is better than I've heard." The Captain sunk his head back into the water, "You've got to try this Maria. It is quite refreshing."

She walked to the side of the pool. The Captain was bobbing up and down in the water, playing like a child in a tub. She couldn't help but smile. Who was this person? Over the past two months she had met several different sides of this man. The fearsome Captain, the ferocious Captain, the regal Captain, the caring father, the gentle man, but this one was new to her. He may just be the scariest one yet—or at the very least- the most dangerous one.

"Why do you stare at me that way?" The Captain asked a little self-consciously.

Maria laughed at the memory of the first time he had asked that question. So she gave him the same answer, which was more truthful now than it was when she had first said it.

"You don't look at all like a sea captain."

He splashed the water a little at her, "hmmm…I'm still trying to figure out what a sea captain is supposed to look like. You've never told me."

"That's because I haven't figured it out yet myself." She laughed.

"Well, are you coming in?" He asked wadding through the water towards where she was standing by the rocks, "Or do I have to come out and get you?"

"You're sure there aren't any snakes?"

"For heaven's sakes, the water is too hot for any critters to enjoy."

"Alright then. Turn around." She motioned with her finger just like he had done to her that first day in his grand foyer. Reminiscent of that day he gave her that same look that he had shot across the floor when she had asked him for his whistle song. He shook his head and turned around offering her the privacy that she asked for. Quickly she removed the oversized shirt from her body all the while questioning just what she was doing. Deep down she could feel the sisters at the abbey shaking their heads in disapproval, but that still wasn't going to stop her. She wanted to do this.

Once she had donned his undershirt, she slipped gently into the water right behind the Captain. Oh it was heavenly. The bubbles tickled her skin and the heat soaked right through and eased her tight muscles. After this, she may never want to leave this place again.

"Nice, isn't it?" He had turned around at some point while her eyes had been closed savoring the sensations of the water. Now he was standing just above her a little too close for comfort. She nodded her head at him then let herself float back to the edge of the narrow pool, finding a rock to sit upon and stretch her legs out. It wasn't wide enough for him to fit next to her, thank goodness, so he mimicked her position opposite her.

For the longest time they just sat in silence, relaxing and soaking. The rhythm of the bubbles was hypnotic and she found herself drifting in and out of sleep, even with her head propped up against rock. She may have actually fallen completely if it weren't for the fact that every once in a while the movement of the water would send their out stretched legs against the others. At first the innocent touches were a jolt to her nervous system, but then at some point, either she or he gave up the fight and they just nestled against one another.

"Tell me," the Captain's baritone voice broke the silence, "last night with Ana. Did you learn that from growing up on a farm?"

"Some I suppose. I did help my uncle at times with the livestock. But actually I learned most of it from my time at the abbey."

The Captain gasped putting his hand against his chest, "Wayward Nuns," he asked with exaggerated scandal in his voice.

Maria laughed lightly, "No- wayward girls. Most of them show up in the middle of the night, lost and alone. Usually minutes away from delivery," She shook her head. Those nights were sometimes so testing. At this point she could tell which girls would sneak away in the morning leaving their little bundles of joy behind and which ones would step up and become the mother they should.

"And the fathers?" Maria's look answered the Captain's question.

"It's sad really," Maria replied, "I have heard countless stories from these girls. Some don't even know who the fathers are. Some are the victims of violence. Those stories are hard to listen to." Maria shook her head, "But the saddest are the girls that cry out to the ones they thought they loved. Or, I should say, the ones the girls thought loved them. Only to be abandoned once the news about the baby was found out."

"Scum." The Captain blurted out.

Maria's head popped up in automatic defense. "Captain, you shouldn't judge these girls they are…"

"It's Georg, and I wasn't insulting the girls. My contempt is aimed at the degenerate men…or rather boys. Though it doesn't matter their age, if they are old enough to compromise a girl they are old enough to take responsibility for their actions. My father didn't teach me much, but the one thing that he did teach me I will pass onto my sons. A man faces his obligations not runs away from them."

"Hmmm…" Maria hummed while she was deep in thought, "But I've seen the other side of that too. Countless more couples dragged into the church for counseling by their parents. Forced to marry before the baby's birth. Some of them less than Liesl's age. And you just know that five, ten years from now you are going to see these two again, with more children in tow. But the thing that you will remember about them is not the picture of a happy family but the frown lines etched into their faces."

The Captain made a little grunting noise in the back of his throat. This conversation was getting to heavy and too worrisome. All this talk about unexpected babies put too many thoughts into his head that he didn't want to face right now. It was time to turn the tides back to light hearted. "I suppose the best thing to do is abstain, isn't that right my little postulant."

"Well of course, that's what the church teaches us."

He slid over in the water like a snake and came to rest right beside her. Due to the shadows of the towering rock around the pool, the moonlight only illuminated his eyes. With the mischievous smile on his face and his glowing eyes he looked downright devilish.

He blew a hard breath out of his lungs which sent her bangs flying and an electric current to her toes, "But where is the fun in that?" He lost himself in a bellowing laugh once her eyes reached the size of saucers.

"Ohhhh!" She exclaimed while pushing herself off from the rock and slithering over to the side of the pool he had just abandoned. Then she crossed her arms over her chest and fumed while he bellowed some more.

"You know I don't think I've had this much fun since I was a teenager." He pulled himself out of a last chuckle then rested back against the rock. "Here's another confession. I've never taken the children camping." He stretched his arms out along the smooth rock, throwing his head back and looking up at the stars, "We should take them before the summer is over. We could bring them here. I think they would enjoy it here, don't you?"

"Of course they would. They enjoy anything that involves spending time with you. But uh…I don't think the Baroness would enjoy camping very much."

He gave a short laugh at the visual of Elsa attempting to camp, "No, you're right. Camping and Elsa wouldn't mix. But then again, I do believe, Elsa is having a hard time mixing with anything outside of Vienna." His voice dropped just a little to let her know that he wasn't joking about that. Elsa was becoming a problem that he couldn't solve. Up until a month ago, he thought that she was perfect for him. That was until Maria opened his eyes to what he had become. Or rather, what part of himself he had locked away after Agathe's death. In truth the man that had wooed Elsa for the past two years, he had realized one day while walking in his gardens, was a fictional character that he had conjured up. The conundrum was that Elsa seemed to prefer that man over the real.

"Captain? Georg?" Maria's voice broke him out of his far away trance. "Did you hear me?"

"I'm sorry Maria, I was lost in thought."

She gave him a quizzical look, "I had asked if your father had taken you camping as a child. If that was how you had learned all of your survival skills?"

He gave a half laugh, "My father camping? Absolutely not. I told you, he didn't teach me much and I meant it."

"The Navy then?"

"One doesn't really go camping in the Navy. One learns how to survive in water in the Navy." He splashed a little water towards her face, "No, actually, it was in boarding school."

"Boarding School?"

"Yes, every year my school had a survival course that one could sign up for. It was conveniently held every spring break. And I signed up for it every year until the year I graduated."

"Hmm…I've never taken you for an outdoors type of man."

"Every man is an outdoors type of man, Maria. But that's not why I signed up for it. Well…when I was younger it was. What little boy doesn't love to be outside rolling around in dirt? Plus it meant that I didn't have to return home for the spring break." He let out a hardened laugh, "That was its greatest appeal. When I was older, well," he paused with a whimsical smile on his face reminiscing the past, "Let's just say there were alternative reasons for my signing up for it."

"What reasons?" He knew she would ask. She just had to. It was who she was. But he simply smiled at her and shook his head.

"Oh come on." She goaded him. "You can't leave it at that."

He couldn't resist that smile, even if he had wanted to. "I'll tell you what. I will tell you my secret, if you promise to reveal one secret of your own of my choosing before the night is over."

She faltered for a moment thinking on the proposal while surmising him with distrusting eyes. He upped the ante by moving to the edge of the spring, acting as if he were about to exit the pool.

"Of your choosing?"

"Of my choosing." He repeated back to her. She bit her lip and thought on it some more. When he moved to leave the pool again, she finally relented.

"Alright. Alright, of your choosing."

He settled back down against the rocks opposite her. He knew that the satisfied smirk on his lips annoyed the hell out of her by the daggers she was cutting him with, but that still didn't stop him.

"You see," he began his story, "when we became older we boys would sign up for the course as the leaders of the younger boys. There were no chaperones on the trip with us. And where we camped was only a few kilometers through the woods to the nearest town. And that town held the greatest thing ever invented in the mind of a teenage boy." He paused for dramatic effect, "A dance hall. We older boys would take turns sneaking over to the town at night while the younger ones slept." He folded his hands behind his head and looked up at the stars, "Oh the things I learned on those excursions."

"Captain!" Though he couldn't see her face, he was sure that it beat bright read.

Slowly he brought his gaze back to hers. In the dark of the night all that he could make out were the whites of her eyes. And even those looked scandalized by his tale.

"Oh come now! Don't even try and tell me that you have never done such a thing? You, who attended the Progressive College for teaching" he sang the name of the college in the same cynical tone that he used whenever he mentioned the Abbey, "never went to the local dance hall? Maybe let a boy or two walk you home late at night? Perhaps allowed a few kisses on the front porch of your boarding house… Hmmm? While worrying about curfew?"

Her hand quickly flew to her chest in outrage, "Of course not. A boy or two?" She repeated in offense, "I…I…never would…I've never even kissed a boy before." The hand that had been covering her chest now flew to cover her mouth. Why Maria? Why would you reveal that about yourself? Uggg…she wanted to crawl into a hole now.

He sat up straight in the water, his eyes fixed on her in shock.

"Never been kissed? How is that possible?"

"Oh just….never mind." Mortified. She had heard the word before. Had even thought she had been a few times in her life, but right now, here in this pool of water Maria truly learned the meaning of the word.

She moved to exit the pool, the moon was quickly moving behind them. She didn't want to lose its light on the way back to camp, plus and most importantly she wanted to be any place other than here as quickly as possible. "We should head back to the campsite, don't you think?" She tried to suavely change the subject, "Besides, I lied, I have been kissed before. You kissed me just this morning."

The Captain stayed rooted in his spot as she exited the water. She didn't turn to see the expression on his face. In her mind if she couldn't see him then he wasn't seeing her right now. And it was important that he couldn't see her right now for his undershirt clung to her like a second skin. She daftly grabbed her dress shirt and ducked behind the nearest tall rock. In a single move she had removed the soaked garment from her skin and thrown the dry shirt on. When she was done she let out the breath that she had been holding.

As surreptitious as she had been, it seemed the Captain was a little stealthier for he had moved out of the water and was partly dressed by the time she came out from behind the rock. The water hadn't made one sound from his movements. Now that, she surmised, he had learned from the Navy.

"I hate to tell you," he began as if the conversation hadn't been stalled at all, "but that wasn't a kiss."

This took her by surprise. "It wasn't?" Why are you responding to him? Just let the conversation die a natural death you stupid, stupid girl! "It certainly seemed like a kiss to me." She mentally slapped her forehead while silently yelling- Tongue…stop moving…now!

"Yes, well, you're wrong. That wasn't a kiss. Well, not the type of kiss that I'm talking about. And if that is all that you have for reference, well then- I have committed a great injustice that needs to be ratified."

"I'm not sure I understand, sir."

He was fully clothed now, except for the closure of the buttons on his shirt which flapped lightly in the gentle breeze. How she wished that he would close those buttons. The flat dirt between the rocks was scarce, leaving them hardly enough space to stand a foot apart. She was leaning against the farthest tall rock just to keep enough distance between them. A distance that he ignored for he insisted on standing toe to toe with her.

Here in this place they had landed for the night with oversized nature surrounding them, he was the largest object around. She couldn't get past him even if she had wanted to.

"I'm not sure I understand either." He stepped a millimeter closer. Their bare toes touched in front of them and she melted more into the rock. "And that brings us back to my question of truth for you." He swiped the wet hair off of her forehead, "What made you run to the abbey when you were younger? What made you climb those trees, Maria?"

She moved as if to run, but he blocked her escape by placing his hand on the rock next to her. When she tried to get away from the other side he caged her in with his other hand. "Oh no you don't. You promised you would tell me a secret of my choosing. This is my choice." He pressed himself closer to her, intimidating her with his body, and driving himself mad in the process, "How do you know that you want to live a life under lock and key, closed off from all that the world has to offer, when you don't even know what you are leaving behind?"

Oh God! Why was he standing so close? She could almost feel him against her like a phantom. And she wanted it. She wanted to feel his hard against her soft. Her body trembled from the effort not to close the gap while her mind wrestled with his questions. This had to stop.

"I don't know…" She was going to say why you are asking me these questions, but he yet again cut her off and put words into her mouth. Most importantly the exact truth that she refused to acknowledge even as he spoke them.

"You don't know what? That you are cut out to be a nun? Is that why you were sent to me this summer?"

"I was sent for the children," Was her frail come back, but he simply ignored her statement.

"To find out what the world has to offer? To experience what you are leaving behind?"

"Yes...NO..." why was he confusing her so?

"And what did you learn, Maria?" Every time he said her name her heart would jolt through her chest.

"I'm not sure…I'm…you're confusing me." She expected him to take pity on her, but he didn't. Instead he got the slyest smile on his face as if he had won a prize. Her blood froze from the implication. She was helpless against him.

"Yes you are confused, my dear," He shook his head, then reached out and smoothed a hand softly down her cheek, "aren't you? Maybe you haven't done enough research yet."

"Research?"

"Well yes, Maria, research. You can't very well make such an important decision that is going to affect the rest of your life without doing a little research first. I bet even the Reverend Mother had more experience than you before she took her vows."

"Ummm…" why were his legs now pressed against hers? "Experience?"

"Yes, in the art of love, my dear." He bent over and whispered in her ear, "In case you were confused." Her knees gave out from underneath her, but his legs caught her fall. "Don't under estimate this part of human nature, Maria. You really need to know what it is all about before you can make your final decision." She felt his lips touch just under her ear and a soft whimper escaped her throat. "As your friend I simply cannot allow you to walk away thinking that that pathetic excuse for a kiss that I gave you this morning is the real deal." His lips touched lower on her throat, involuntarily her neck leaned back, "Oh no, you need to research it a little further for your own good." His mouth left her skin and the cold that struck her from his absence made her moan.

He was now looking dead into her eyes, and the look in them scared her half to death. "This is wrong, Cap…Georg."

"Why is it wrong?" He raised his eyebrows in question. "You are my wife, are you not?"

"Oh…ummm…oh….ahhh…"where was he going with this? Now she was certainly frightened all the way to the tips of her toes.

"No hear me out and listen. I think I have an idea that can solve both of our dilemmas. You are my wife, Maria, so in the eyes of the lord if we were to research your problem a little further right here and now, it wouldn't be a sin. You wouldn't have to feel any guilt over it for you have done nothing wrong against the church that you hold so dear in your heart."

She took a deep breath at his outrageous suggestion. "And just how does this solve your problem? Actually just what is your problem in all of this?" How embarrassing was this? They were talking about her lack of a love life as if they were discussing a chapter in an historical novel.

"Well, if we do this, I will be correcting the injustice that I unwittingly committed this morning. As I man I have a moral obligation to right that wrong."

"You do?" How had this woman never been seduced before, he fleetingly wondered. She was…you idiot…his conscience reiterated, by you, you animal. And here he was doing it again, though this time he was aware of it. He felt the guilt over it, but by God, he wasn't about to stop. This was his one and only chance. Maybe, just maybe, if he was successful here tonight, the tides would turn in his favor.

What favor? What tide?

Why was his damn mind filled with such ridiculous questions? Oh the hell with it, he mentally threw up his hands giving up the fight. He'd just have to learn to live with the guilt.

"Yes, Maria I do. So think of it like a scientific experiment. Sometimes one can't learn all there is to know by simply reading a book." He leaned forward and pressed his nose just next to hers, more breathing his next words than speaking them, "Sometimes you have to dive in and feel the experience."

"Feel the experience," she whispered back. "So it would be like a clinical test more than anything."

"Exactly."

"I guess it would be alr…"She had talked enough, he decided and cut off her last words by pressing his lips against hers. He kept it light, at first. It was supposed to be a clinical trial, wasn't it? But that didn't stop the turmoil that raged in his veins. He tampered down the heat and fire that threatened to explode into an inferno, and gently moved his lips against hers. He simply couldn't consume her the way he wanted to. Not only would it be wrong, it would also betray what little trust she had for him, so as his body trembled from the effort to hold back his mouth betrayed nothing to his pray. Calm, serene even, possibly chaste would be a better word. Meanwhile his insides raged…feel her, taste her, take her…no!" He broke the kiss with effort and breathed hard against the pain of restraint resting his head against her forehead for balance.

However his breath froze when he met her lust filled gaze. Oh no! Resolve my man…you need to hold on to your resolve…uh-ohh. Too late.

He had no idea who moved first. He would like to think it was her and not him that caused this feverish storm of release that he now found them tangled in, but he couldn't be sure. The only thing he knew was that they were now entwined in a lust filled battle. Lips against lips, tongues dueling, and legs pressed against the others while hands fought for territory. Was that her moaning or him? All he knew was if he didn't reign this in he was going to ravish her against this rock. And he couldn't do that, well he could-but no-he wouldn't. Would he?

He almost lost the last of his restraint when her hands sought their way up his chest and found their way into his hair. Stilling his hands by balling her shirt in his fists he fought the need to seek her skin under the fabric. No first…first he had to tell her. He would take her…she would be his, but first she had to know the truth.

"Maria…"he breathed her name in-between kisses, "Maria we have to stop."

He pulled slightly away from her catching his breath. When he looked at her he almost broke down. She had tears in her eyes that didn't mask the look of horror shining from deep within their depths. Oh Lord! What had he done now?

"I'm sorry, I…I..", She apologized covering her face in shame. Dammit this secret was going to be the death of them both.

He took her hands in his own and brought them to his lips. "Maria, darling please don't think that way. You've done nothing wrong," He tipped her chin up so that she would look in his eyes, "Nothing." He chastely kissed her lips to prove his point. "It's just," He took a deep breath here cradling her face in his hands, while pressing their foreheads together.

"I have to tell you something," now was the time for bravery, but alas, it evaded him once again. She looked so broken down, so at odds with herself. If he told her now it would shatter her completely. He cowardly told himself that he needed to protect her now, not destroy her. Well at least that's the reasoning he told himself just so that the guilt wouldn't eat him alive while he uttered the feeblest statement of his life, "We're losing the moonlight. If we don't head back for camp now I fear we may not find our way back."