Disclaimer – I do not own Harry Potter
"…so now there's this drunken stag running around muggle London, no idea where he is or what the hell is going on, panicking out of his mind, when who should appear?" Sirius asks, Harry, the Weasley kids, and Hermione all listen with rapt attention, "But the future Mrs Prongs herself."
"Of course she did," Ginny says, all of them laughing at the story.
"What happened?"
"Well, she didn't know about our Animagi forms yet, all she knew was I was running after a deer and nearly getting hit by cars and such. Of course I was plastered too, and also freaking the f-freak out…anyway. So, Lily's trying to get me to calm down but Prongs is getting away. I had to think of something to say and decided to attempt to calmly explain the situation." Remus snorts.
"Calmly explain the situation? You screamed in her face 'My stag is that brother, James is inside, it's getting away', and made her think James had been eaten by a deer." Sirius glares at the traitorous Werewolf, poking his tongue out at him as the kids all laugh at his expense.
"Point is, the both of us manage to catch Prongs, and by that I mean I yelled 'Evans is dying' and he came barrelling over. She brought us back to her place and introduced me to a muggle phone so that I could call Moony."
"Right so I get a call at two in the morning, Sirius is talking a mile a minute, intermittently yelling at Prongs to back off because he's practically climbing on top of Lily in his relief she's not actually dead and forgetting he's in stag form. Lily ends up taking the phone off of him and trying to explain what happened. Meanwhile Prongs' antlers are wrecking the place."
"All the smashing and yelling woke the neighbours who called the Muggle Aurors," Sirius tells them.
"Police, Sirius, they're called the police. You of all people should know that by now." Sirius grins at him.
"Lily called Remus again from the station and had him come down, luckily he hadn't left home yet. He's using all of his persuasive charm to attempt to get them to release us and the deer when Prongs finally manages to transform back. Lily starts hitting me because she was still unclear on whether or not James had been eaten by a Stag, probably unhelped by the distressed looks I kept giving it, and now she understands."
"Of course, now a bunch of Muggles are trying to work out how the Stag escaped unnoticed and where this fourth teenager came from. We were all still underage so we couldn't obliviate them. We couldn't call the ministry and get it all handled because James isn't meant to be an Animagus," Remus tells them.
"What did you do?" Ron asks, eyes wide.
"What he always does when he panics," Sirius says amused, Remus rolls his eyes, "He set the station on fire."
"YOU WHAT?!"
"Merlin's balls, Moony," Fred and George comment, both bewildered and in awe of their teacher. At school everyone still calls him Professor Moony, but outside of it these kids have taken to calling he and Sirius Moony and Padfoot. All but Hermione, who refuses to call him anything but Professor Moony.
"That is such an exaggeration," Remus claims, "I set the records room on fire. Nicked the keys, broke them out, we broke the surveillance system, and got out of there as quickly as we could."
"How did Mum react to the whole Animagus thing?" Harry questions, Sirius frowns.
"It was odd, actually. James tried to bring it up, she just said she wouldn't tell anyone. Sort of nodded at us and continued on. She and James were dating a week later."
"So what you're saying is, Harry only exists because you bet James Potter he couldn't turn into Prongs while drunk?" Ginny asks, looking amused, Sirius says 'yes' as Remus says 'no'.
"No Padfoot, that's not the moral of the story. The moral of the story is don't do things just because someone thinks you can't, and don't listen to your Uncle Padfoot," Remus tells them, looking specifically at Harry for the last bit, Harry and Ron snicker, Hermione huffs at them.
"Honestly, they exposed magic to muggles and could have died several times throughout that story."
"Exactly, it was bloody brilliant."
"Would my parents have gotten together if that didn't happen?" Harry asks, Sirius seems unsure, Remus chuckles.
"Lily had been planning on asking him out that entire summer. Had it all planned out. After the years of chasing her, she wanted to do something bigger than he'd ever done. Would have been brilliant too until that incident happened and she realised, all of that had been for show. He wasn't really that brash and loud, he was a rather gentle person. In the end, she waited until he asked her to Hogsmeade again, as he had every Hogsmeade weekend since third year, and she said yes. Never seen him smile so brightly. So yes, most definitely."
"Hold on, how do you know she was planning to do that?" Sirius asks, Remus freezes.
"So, um, Sirius. Something I haven't mentioned…" Sirius raises an eyebrow, the kids looking amused at the drama unfolding.
"What?"
"You never wondered how it is my number was on the list beside the phone in Lily's house? Or how she knew it off by heart to call from the station?" Sirius frowns.
"Um, no."
"We'd been talking frequently since a few months after we both became prefects." Sirius' eyes bulge out of his head.
"Why didn't you say anything?"
"I didn't want to incur the wrath of Prongs. More importantly, I didn't want him constantly demanding I say nice things about him like he did every night we had rounds."
"So she told you she was going to ask James out and you said nothing?"
"I told Minerva," Remus replies, Sirius laughs.
"She'd have gotten a kick out of that."
"She started writing up retirement papers so that she didn't have to witness James destroying the school in excitement and/or nerves."
"I remember she was coming home with James and I for Christmas in '77 and he was freaking out the night before, proper hyperventilation, and we ended up having to drag him down to Minnie so she could deal with him," Sirius says with a laugh, Remus laughing too.
"You were all close with Professor McGonagall?" Hermione asks, looking enchanted with the prospect.
"James loved transfiguration and was the best seeker Hogwarts has ever seen, least until Harry turned up that is," Sirius tells them, Harry flushes, "They're Minnie's two favourite things. She mother hen'd me a lot during our Hogwarts years so we were close because of that, and she'd always been fond of Remus. Same sort of way she's fond of you, Hermione." Hermione beams, Remus smiles gently.
"Lunch is ready!" They all look up at Molly's voice, hurrying into the kitchen of the Burrow for food. Sirius and Remus stand at a more leisurely pace. Tonks pushes off of the wall she'd been leaning against to listen in and takes Remus' hand. He smiles at her as Sirius makes retching sounds.
"Quit being a prat."
"Quit getting handsy with my cousin."
"First cousin once removed."
"Semantics."
"Y-hold on. Did you just make a hand pun because she's holding my hand?" Sirius grins at him, he swats him. Sirius hits him back.
"Right, both of you, separate sides of the table. Now," Molly decides as she walks into the room to fetch them and finds Sirius holding Remus in a headlock while Remus reaches up to pull on his hair. They separate, Remus looking embarrassed and Sirius looking like he doesn't have a care in the world, the kids laughing at them as they walk in. Molly and Remus share a look, they both know he's not as nonchalant as he appears. Azkaban had changed him, fun times like today are few and far between, and always for the benefit of Harry and his friends. The fact that he was messing around with Remus, especially when the others weren't in the room, well that's the best they've seen of him so far. They're relieved.
It's been six months since he was found innocent, there's a week left of Summer holidays and then Harry's fourth year begins.
"So, Remus, I believe you had an announcement to make?" Arthur asks after everyone's finished eating, Remus nods.
"Yes, I do. I won't be teaching defence this year."
"WHAT?!" All the kids say in varying volumes, the twins loudest of all. They'd taken every lesson with him to attempt to pull one over on him. It hasn't worked yet, though he won't admit they nearly have a few times.
"Moony you-" Hermione begins saying, surprising everyone by the lack of title, a very angry look on her face.
"I know, Hermione. Don't worry, I don't intend to go back on that. I won't be teaching defence as a favour to Albus. There's someone else that, for reasons I'm not allowed to reveal, he would very much like to have in the school. Unlike him though, I have the capability to teach another class within the school."
"What will you be teaching?" Ginny asks.
"Well that's obvious, isn't it?" Ginny rolls her eyes.
"Please, enlighten us."
"History of Magic of course," Hermione informs them, either oblivious or ignoring Ginny's attitude.
"Astute observation Hermione, I'm impressed. How did you work it out?" Remus asks.
"Muuuum, they're doing it again," The twins groan. Sirius raises an eyebrow in confusion to Harry.
"One of them says something clever and they start bouncing off of each other until no one has any idea what they are on about, and then someone will ask and they look like they're surrounded by baboons trying to work out how to make a wand from a pile of loose splinters." Ron nods along with his best mate's explanation.
"We do not!" Hermione tells them, "You only don't understand because you stop paying attention."
"Yes, because we really don't care how you work out every little thing you work out," Ginny tells Hermione harshly.
"Ginevra Weasley! Apologise, now," Molly tells her daughter who crosses her arm and sulks in her chair.
"Sorry Hermione." Hermione seems upset but nods.
"All right, now I'm curious. How did you know which class Uncle Moony's teaching?" Harry asks, Hermione looks uncertainly around, everyone looking encouraging.
"Well, it's not potions. If Professor Snape were going to be fired, it would have been long ago. He has no family so no familial complication could have transpired, and if he were sick, Padfoot would look far more accomplished at having successfully poisoned him," Hermione reasons.
"I admit to nothing," Sirius tells her, she giggles, growing more confident again.
"It's not Charms because Professor Flitwick has a contract with the school for another four years. He cannot be fired and were he intending to quit he would have told us last year, the same goes for Professor McGonagall. Professor Moony hates flying so he hasn't taken over from Madam Hooch, and he killed a succulent so I really doubt Professor Sprout would let him anywhere near her plants. It's not divination because Professor Moony's not a complete imbisule, nor is it care of magical creatures because…it-um-wouldn't suit him…nor would Astronomy. I suppose it could be Ancient Runes or Arithmancy, but I'm quite certain both of those teachers would have written to me to let me know if they were leaving. That leaves History of Magic, which makes sense, because Professor Binns has been looking for a replacement for four and a half years."
"He has?" Tonks asks, Hermione nods, "How do you know that?"
"Percy told me," She replies.
"Yes, the Professor mentioned it over tea some time ago," Percy informs them, "Told me if he was still looking for a replacement when I graduate, he'd be willing to recommend me to Headmaster Dumbledore, however I was uninterested in the job."
"Wow that's…actually pretty cool. I mean, I hate the subject, it's boring as hell, but that's still pretty cool," Ron tells Percy, surprised to be impressed by who he considers to be his most boring brother. Percy seems just as surprised.
"Oh, well, thank you, Ron."
"Anyway, it helped that a while ago Ron asked Professor McGonagall, Professor Binns, and Professor Dumbledore what Professor Moony was like when he was in school. Professor Binns said that you were one of his best students, so it makes sense he would be willing to pass the position on to you," Hermione concludes.
"Why were you asking the other Professors about Uncle Moony?" Harry asks Ron.
"Um…"
"Because I asked him to," Ginny tells Harry who looks to her in confusion, "I was curious why the Twins love him so much, wanted to find out if he was as much of a troublemaker as they were. Only the teachers seemed hesitant to give me ideas. Apparently I've been showing signs of mischief lately," Ginny tells him, Harry chuckles.
"Is that possible because of the paint balloons?"
"In a word, yes."
"So who's taking over Defence Against the Dark Arts?" Ron asks, moving the conversation onwards. Everyone's really wondering how on Earth Harry's survived this long if he really just believed Ginny, but they don't mention it.
"Yes, you didn't mention who to me either," Sirius tells him, Remus nods.
"I think I'll leave it as a surprise for the kids, but do you remember that moment when we told the people about the thing and that person had had that dream with the creature?"
"Wait, really?" Remus nods again, Sirius starts laughing, hard.
"Oh good luck, you're going to bloody need it," He tells the kids.
"Language Sirius!" Molly chastises, Sirius calms himself and clears his throat.
"Sorry Molly. Did you know about this?" He asks Tonks who nods.
"Of course I do, I got told straight away."
"I honestly can't tell if you mean by the traitorous Moony who keeps picking you over me, or the person from the thing."
"And you shall never know," Tonks replies.
"When have I ever picked her over you?"
"Her?" Tonks asks, looking unimpressed.
"When have I ever picked Dreadful over you?"
"You best watch yourself, Old Man." Moony snickers as the rest of the table rolls their eyes at the couple. They refused to admit they were dating, but they totally are. At least as far as everyone else was concerned. Mainly because Ginny refuses to allow a good shovel talk to go to waste.
"How about last night when we went to the movies and you made us all sit through that horrid movie when there was a perfectly nice one on that we all could have enjoyed, all because Tonks wanted to?" Tonks rolls her eyes.
"Perfectly nice one? It was all death and gore. Need I remind you again that Harry is fourteen?"
"I wasn't going to get scared!" Harry objects. She smiles gently at him.
"That wasn't that point."
"Just because –"
"Oh honestly, both of you, I'm not listening to this argument on repeat for the fiftieth time in less than twenty-four hours!" Remus tells them, Tonks and Sirius huff, Harry looks unhappy about being treated like a child again.
"How about this," Hermione says before leaving the room. She comes back in five minutes later with a freshly drawn chart, their names written repetitively going down with check boxes beside them, "You go in order of who gets to choose what you watch or do or whatever. Special allowances for things like birthdays and such. Since Tonks had last go, it's starting with Padfoot, then Harry, then Professor Moony, and then Tonks again," She explains, Remus takes the chart from her, nodding.
"A wise idea, thank you Hermione."
"Charts…oh I forgot about the charts Moony!" Sirius tells him, laughing. Remus rolls his eyes.
"Those charts would have worked if you lot didn't keep altering them," He tells his friend sternly. Sirius opens his mouth to respond when there's a knock at the door, Molly excuses herself to go and answer it.
"Oh, Albus! Please, come in." Everyone at the table looks up in surprise as Dumbledore walks in, Moody right on his heels.
"Alastor?" Remus asks in confusion, the two look a bit out of sorts. It's particularly nerve-wracking on Dumbledore.
"Auror Moody, Headmaster, is everything all right?" Harry asks them, Moody claps Harry on the back lightly.
"Everything is quite all right Harry," Dumbledore tells him.
"Why don't you and your friends go upstairs for a bit, Potter?" Harry blinks at Moody for a moment, frowning slightly. A strange exchange seems to go between them before Harry nods. As soon as he does the other kids move upstairs, as though they had been awaiting his order. All but Ginny. Harry sighs, nodding to the twins who pick her up by an arm each and drag her up the stairs kicking and screaming, "Loyal friends young Mr Potter's got, aren't they?" Remus catches Harry's eye as he ascends the stairs. Harry sends a wary look to Moody and then looks back at Remus who nods slightly. Something about Moody seems off to Harry, and that's enough for Remus to be unsettled.
"That they are. Quite protective of him as well." The two look at each other for a moment before Moody's lips quirk.
"Aren't we all." It all seems so Moody like, but Remus refuses to ignore Harry's wariness and decides to keep an eye on the man until he can speak with Harry.
"You wanted to speak with me?"
"And Sirius," Albus replies, drawing Remus' attention away from Moody, though he keeps an eye on him as they both take a seat at the table.
"What's this about?" Sirius asks with growing trepidation. Alastor and Albus exchange looks.
"There was an incident in Azkaban yesterday evening," Albus begins.
"What sort of an incident?"
"And what's it got to do with us…?"
"I'm afraid that, as of last night, you are not the only person to have successfully escaped Azkaban, Sirius," Albus tells him. Remus and Sirius exchange looks, seeing where this is going.
"Peter Pettigrew has escaped."
