For the next month, Lenny remained in her apartment, living in her own secluded world of mourning. The others would come visit and sit and talk, trying to get Lenny to think of other things instead of torturing herself with her mourning. Scott came every day, it killed him to see Lenny this way, but he wasn't sure how to help her.
On a Tuesday morning, Steve was coming in from his daily run. His runs had become lonely without Lenny keeping pace next to him. Walking in, he looked around the common room. Wanda sat silently by Vision, her face revealing the longing for her best friend. Clint was uncharacteristically silent, Sam next to him, flipping through TV channels aimlessly, and also wishing his best friend were there. Scott, however was absent from the room, probably with Lenny Steve would guess. Bruce and Natasha were quietly cooking in the kitchen, which wasn't so abnormal itself, but Steve could see sadness in Bruce's eyes and a stiffness in the way Natasha was moving, different from the usual graceful movements of the Russian. Tony wasn't in the room, probably off in his lab again. Steve sighed, Tony was hurting for his friend but didn't know what to do about it, so he secluded himself away. Thor and Jane were on Asgard at the moment, Steve thought the melancholy in the tower may have driven them to take this trip.
The tower was abnormally silent. Since Lenny had moved in, Steve had noticed a big increase in the amount of music played. Music always seemed to reach the young woman and spark a joy in her. Since the death of her family, the tower had been silent. Steve smiled slightly at a memory that had happened only weeks before the tragedy.
It was a Saturday afternoon, and almost everyone was in the common area, Lenny and Scott were cooking in the kitchen with some music playing. Everyone was talking and enjoying themselves when they heard Lenny shout "I love this song! Crank it Friday!" and a loud song that Steve was unfamiliar with, began to play.
"Really Lenny?" came Tony's amused voice, "Holla Back Girl?"
"Hey no judgement from you, Mr. I-don't-know-how-Brittney-Spears-got-in-my-playlist. This is a fun song!"
With that they all began to smile as Lenny began to sing and dance with the song, stomping her feet, clapping, and twirling. Grinning, Scott jumped in behind her, mimicking her movements and singing. Soon Sam, and to Steve's surprise, Tony jumped into the lineup, the four of them looking in sync and shockingly graceful.
Steve almost jumped when Clint burst in shouting "This shit is bananas! B-A-N-A-N-A-S!" along with the song.
Lenny had grabbed Wanda at this point, Tony grabbed Steve and Thor and Jane happily jumped in the lineup. Steve smiled when he noticed Natasha and Bruce join the group, Vision just smiled and watched his team. The rest of them did not look nearly as graceful as the first four dancers, but they were all laughing and having fun.
Steve let out a small laugh at the memory, took another look around the room and knew it was time to go talk to Lenny. This was going to be hard.
Inside the apartment Lenny was sitting quietly, wearing loose sweats and one of Sarah's shirts, responding to things Scott would say as he played a game of solitaire. A knock at the door interrupted Scott's next question of why unsolved mysteries were called that. He spoke the whole way to the door, "I mean if it's a mystery, it's clearly not solved or it wouldn't be a mystery. The name is redundant." Scott opened the door. "Hey Steve, what's up?"
"Scott, you mind if I speak with Lenny alone?"
Scott looked at Lenny, to see if she was okay with that. She nodded at him and Scott quietly exited with an inquisitive look at the Captain.
Steve walked in and sat across from Lenny who looked up and met his eyes. Steve, unsure of how to begin, decided to just cut right through it.
"Lenny, you've been locked away in here for a month. I know this is hard, I do…"
"How would you know that?" Lenny snapped. She had grown tired of people saying they knew how she felt.
"Because everyone I knew is dead, save for my best friend who instead was brainwashed and turned into a killer. So yes I do understand. I am no stranger to death. I know that your situation is different, these were your kids. But Lenny, they….you were their ultimate hero. Your sister, with her last breaths, told you to keep living for them, for all of them. And I know, you think that means just staying alive, but Lenny, that is not living! Staying locked up and mourning every day is not honoring their lives."
Lenny stared at the man, her eyes softening and tearing up. He pushed on.
"You have to rejoin the world. I know you aren't done grieving their loss, you may never be. I haven't finished grieving the loss of everyone I knew either."
"How," Lenny began to choke out through a sob, "How do you move on Steve? All I feel is this longing for something I can never get back."
"You rely on us. Lenny, we are your family. We all care about you. Everyone moves on differently, find what reaches you most, like music, and use it. Express what you're feeling, but allow yourself to feel more than just sadness. Lenny, this tower hasn't moved on either. They're waiting on you."
"I just don't know how it's okay for me to laugh when they're all dead. Steve, Raph wanted to be you. He was bright and funny and a leader. Kirby was quiet and inquisitive and an artist. They had so much to give the world. All I see are these people they should have been. And Sarah, Steve she was my best friend. She took care of me when are parents were gone and always had my back. She was a good person, and all of them are gone. How is that fair?"
"Evil doesn't play by fair rules. That's why we fight Lenny. To protect the good in the world, and believe me, there is still good in the world. We have to protect the rest of the Raph's and Kirby's and Sarah's in the world."
Lenny looked away, her mind racing. Steve patted her knee and stood, "I'll leave you to think."
Lenny heard the door shut and picked up the picture of her family. Sarah and Lenny standing behind the twins as they all grinned at the camera. Lenny sat the picture down and stood, staring at her door.
Out in the common room, Scott had joined Clint on the couch and Steve had dragged Tony up from the lab to eat. Thor had called to say they would be back that evening. Almost all the Avengers were in the common room, yet it felt empty.
They all heard the door swish open, and assumed it was Thor.
"How was Asgard bud?" Clint said over his shoulder.
"I wouldn't know, I haven't been able to convince Thor to take me yet."
They all umped to see Lenny in the doorway, dressed in her jeans and a shirt of her own.
"Lenny!" Scott jumped up, smiling that his girlfriend had emerged from her apartment.
"I had a good talk from a good friend, and it's time for me to live for my kids." Lenny said, nodding to Steve, who smiled back. "So I was wondering if any of you would be interested in coming with me tonight? I want to get out of the tower, have a drink in honor of my family, in honor of everyone we've all lost, and then try to start moving on."
Tony spoke up, his voice regaining its usual put on arrogance, "Yeah, they're all coming. Thor is on his way back and, he'll be joining us too. Do I need to issue a dress code?"
Lenny gave him a small smile, "No dress code, part of moving on means I'm emptying out my sister's house. I am only keeping some things, donating the rest, and then putting the house on the market."
Tony met her eyes, "We're all still coming."
"Okay, then let's get ready. Thor can meet us when he gets home." With that, Lenny turned and headed for the door, taking a deep breath, and tried to prepare for whatever life would throw at her next.
