Ch. 12: Clear the Air

How dare Judy make an injured fox do dishes. Nah, I'm just playing around. Nothing beats the night than cleaning up some bowls after a good dinner at the table by yours truly. Despite the shit that went on today, everything worked out alright, especially with Carrots and Swift getting along at ZPD. Honestly, I was expecting them to get in some cat fight, but instead, they ended up becoming quick pals.

'It's a good thing I don't have to play middleman between them whenever we're at work,' I happily thought, as I continued to clean up the bowls. 'At least they know how to cooperate when shit goes down and having Carrots showing her the ropes wasn't so bad either. Still, I feel sorry that Swift won't be partners with us anymore, since Judy and I are off tomorrow and I have to get back to work the day after. It's a shame, since Swift is really good in her job.''

I then felt my shoulder ached a little, still sore from the bite I received from yesterday. Even though it healed up a bit, I could still feel the pain from the bite I got from that damn wolf.

'Note to self: never get too close and personal to some butt ugly criminal,' I reminded myself. "I'm not quite that good in a fist fight yet."

"NICK!" I could hear Judy shouting my name loudly, as I stopped washing the bowls and turned to Judy's room.

"Yeah?" I called out, but I didn't received an answer back. Before long, Judy marched from around the corner and gave me the most displeased look I have ever seen from a rabbit. The way she was glaring at me made me feel uncomfortable already. What was it that she wanted to call me for?

"Have you been into my room?" she sternly asked. I tried my best to keep a straight and blank face, despite the fact that my ass was probably grass already.

"Of course I have. It's just that, since I couldn't go to work today and I didn't wanted to be as bored as fuck, I figure I could just do some summer cleaning around the apartment just to do anything around here," I gave the most believable lie I could think of to Carrots. "I only stopped what I was doing after I learned of the bank robbery on TV."

I then smiled innocently at Carrots, hoping she would accept this response. She still continued to give me the same displeased look, however, much to my dismay.

"Being bored and wanting to clean the apartment isn't the best excuse for snooping into my room, Nick. Now tell me what you were looking inside my room for."

"Dammit," I quietly cursed myself. I hate it whenever she gets the drop on me. No matter; I might as well as tell her the truth.

"Alright, you got me…" I began, clearing up my throat. "I was looking into your room for some...answers," I said it as vague as I could.

"In my underwear drawer?" Judy snorted at me, looking less than impressed with me. I felt my heart dropped and my hands feel really cold, though from lack of blood flow or the water I couldn't tell.

'Oh shit!' I worriedly thought, as Judy began her explanation.

"In case you're wondering, I figured it out since one of my panties was caught between the drawer and frame, when I know I neatly folded everything," she continued, crossing her arms out and still giving me the same stern look. For my part, all I could was stared back at her, my face burning up with embarrassment and my throat feeling so dry, I couldn't say my usual smart aleck quip back at her. It felt like a vice wrapped around my neck, squeezing it very tightly.

"You might be a good sleuth, Nick, but you're still sloppy at hiding it," she concluded, as I gulped nervously, before I finally spoke back.

"Judy, it's not what it looks like-"

"I don't particularly care what it looks like," she cut me off. "It doesn't matter whether your intentions were good or not, Nick. The fact is, you invaded into my personal space! You have no right to snoop into my room like that!"

"...You're right, Carrots," I looked down on the floor in shame, as I deserved to be berated. "I shouldn't have been in there."

"Lying also didn't help your case, Nick. Now, tell me what you were really looking into my room for," Judy was practically interrogating me at this point.

"...I just wanted to know what was causing your nightmare," I finally confessed, before I hear Judy letting out a sigh and I saw the stern look on her face starting to soften up a little. "I thought I could find some journal or something to help me understand what was going on, since I wasn't getting very much info out of you."

"Even though what you did was wrong, I'll admit that I should have been more upfront about it with you," she simply said.

"Especially if it's a nightmare that I'm somehow involved in," I added, getting Judy's attention. "Could you blame me for being so curious after hearing you telling me to 'get away' like I was a killer in a slasher film?"

"Well, I-"

"And then followed up with you socking me in the face?" I deadpanned, cutting her off. Even though the pain was gone, I still cringed a bit whenever I recall that last part up. I sometimes forget that Judy actually has pretty good upper body strength for a rabbit.

"That was an accident!"

"Like you screaming my name like a banshee in your sleep was an accident too?" I sarcastically asked.

"Um…" Judy stammered, uncertain how to respond back.

"Not only that, but you screamed even louder when I held you down on your own bed," I pointed out. "What the hell was that about?"

But Judy continued to stammer with her words, unable to form a single sentence to my claims, while I simply sighed to this, uncertain what to say at this point. It was clear to both of us that we weren't being honest with one another and it was starting to drive a wedge between us. Not only that, but the air in the living room was starting to feel chilly and thick all of a sudden. This is the middle of Summer, for christ's sakes! There was no way it should be that cold. It was liked that it sensed our discomfort and the temperature took a complete dip downward real fast.

'Why is it so cold all of a sudden?' I thought to myself, before looking back at Judy. She looked so conflicted right now, it was like she doesn't know what to do anymore. I couldn't stand seeing her like this and I have to do something to calm her down.

"Judy, we need to come clean with each other. If we don't clear the air between us, it'll only get worst. I told you why I was in your room, so tell me about this nightmare that you keep having...please."

"...You're right, Nick. I think it's time for me to get it off of my chest," Judy agreed, despite being upset at me for violating her privacy. But at least she understood that hiding something important from me wouldn't do us any good either.

Once she calmed down enough, Judy proceeded to sit on the couch nearby and I nearly followed suit, but I decided to sit on one of the empty chairs instead, mainly to give Judy some space, but also the expression on her face indicated that she had something serious to say.

"Alright Nick, what I'm about to tell you is going to sound insane, so get ready for what I'm about to say."

'This shit couldn't get any worst than it already is,' I thought to myself. "Whatever it is you're about to say, Carrots, I'm all ears." I looked in Judy's direction, but she wasn't looking at me; in fact, she was starting a nearby coffee table instead.

"Alright then…" was all I could say back, though she still continued to look at the coffee table. I was weirded out by it, but I didn't want to push the issue about it either.

Silence soon filled up the room, while I waited for Judy to give me her answer. I saw her opening up her mouth every few seconds, only to stop in her tracks at the last moment. This continued on for at least a few minutes and I grew more and more nervous with each second passing by.

'Come on, Carrots! Just say it already!' I mentally urged my friend. The suspense was killing me at this point, just as Judy was taking a deep breath and finally gave me a response.

"The nightmare that I have been having for the last few nights...it was about you, Nick."

I just sat on my chair, trying to restrain the urge to refrain from making a remark at her claim. Of course I knew her nightmare involved me, but why was I even involved in it to begin with? All I could do was sit down and listened to what Judy had to say.

"Every time I have this nightmare, I would be on my bed, unable to move myself except for my eyes and I couldn't do nothing but look around. When I do...I would see a pair of green eyes near the foot of my bed. Those eyes...they look like yours. In fact...he looks like you, he talks like you too and he even claims to be you. But then, he would always approach me...and try to rape me!"

Once Judy finished up her explanation, all I could was stared at my friend in utter shock. This was not the kind of answer that I was expecting to hear tonight. Carrots looked like she was on the verge of tears just from having to recall her nightmare in details.

"...What?" I blurted out. What Judy had told me just now...I couldn't believe it! Not only did she dreamt of something like that, but I would never imagined that her nightmare would be about me doing something so...vile and disgusting to her. We've been friends for almost a year now and never in my life would I imagine something like this!

"Didn't you hear what I just said?!" Judy held back her tears, but it was clear her feelings were hurt by my reaction. "I said I would be on my bed, unable to-"

"Judy, I heard you the first time!" I interrupted, assuring her that I had listened to every word she had told me. "I just couldn't wrap my head around on how crazy that sounds! You're my best friend and I would never do anything that vicious to you!"

Judy wiped off the few tears from her face, still looking at the coffee table, but smiled a bit to my response.

"I know you would never do that to me, Nick, but a part of me is still having doubts about it."

"What kind of doubts are we talking about?" I asked wearily. I have no clue what Carrots was getting at.

"I don't know, Nick," Carrots admitted. "I guess a part of me is afraid that someday, you might do something so irrational and stupid, that you won't be able to control it."

I frowned upon hearing that answer; I couldn't believe that Judy would say something like that to me. Sure, I can be reckless and make decisions very rashly without thinking first (a trait that I think I got from her since she's probably worse than me on the rash scale), but I know right from wrong like everyone else. I had to let Carrots know how I felt about it.

"Now wait a minute, Judy, you can't just-" I stopped when I saw her wincing and I instantly regretted what I was about to do. Getting upset won't make this situation any better for either of us and it'll be exactly what she claimed I would become. Worst, she might not talk to me ever again. "Sorry…"

'I can't believe I almost did that,' I sighed and dropped the issue. Instead of getting angry at Carrots, I should be helping her out and rationalize what her fear was all about. "You know, maybe your fear of me is more...instinctive."

"Really?" Judy looked at me for the first time, surprised by my answer. It wasn't much, but at least I got her attention.

"Really," I replied. "Foxes are suppose to be natural predators to rabbits, so perhaps your fear is based on something that you have no control over."

"I-I guess that would make sense then," Carrots accepted my explanations, though she was still trying not to let her emotions overwhelmed her. "I mean, my nightmares have been giving me a lot of crazy thoughts lately."

"Nightmares tends to make people do crazy things, Carrots," I quipped, before I started to realize what she was talking about. "Wait a sec...did you start having this nightmare before you suddenly felt the need to become my roommate?"

Judy opened her mouth, but she didn't say anything right back and hesitated, much to my annoyance. I guess old habits are hard to break than she thought.

"Judy…" I began, doing my best to stay calm. "I made it clear that we need to come clean with each other, so I'll ask you again: why did you become roommates with me, despite having nightmares about me to begin with?"

"You know the answer to that question: I want to help you out so you don't have to spend your whole paycheck on living here," Judy insisted.

"Are you sure, Carrots?" I arched an eyebrow in response. Honestly, I don't know what to believe after finding out about her nightmare. "Was there more to it than helping me out with my financial situation?"

It was then that Judy looked down on the ground in shame and let out a sigh, before she gave me her reason.

"I really did want to help you, Nick and I really mean it. But...I wanted to be closer to you as well, because the truth is...I don't want to be afraid, especially towards you."

I looked at Carrots in astonishment, surprised to hear that kind of confession; this was the same rabbit who managed to beat all the odds that were stacked up against her to become the first cop in Zootopia and she was one of the bravest person I have ever known. She chased down small-time perps on her spare time, socked a few unlucky bastards who dared to underestimate her and even got involved in a shootout with Swift today. I never imagined that someone like Judy would still have insecurities and doubts, even after she and I have gotten to known each other since we first met.

"This is very serious right there," I quietly said to myself, before a thought occurred to me. 'Maybe she shouldn't be here at all. It's starting to feel like a burden for her, especially if I'm around her all the time. But what can I do to make her feel better?'

I continued to ponder that question as hard as I could, trying to find the answer to it. Eventually, I think I found my answer, as I faced Judy once more.

"Do you...want to go back to your place?" I asker her sympathetically.

"...To be honest, I really don't know what I want to do right now."

"Alright then," I accepted Judy's answer and silence filled up the room again. Neither of us didn't say anything to each other and I'm not so sure if we could even continue this conversation. Every time we spoke to each other, it was becoming more and more awkward; worst, our friendship was deeply affected by our uneasiness and I don't know what to do about it. Finally, I couldn't stand the silence anymore and I had to say something to break it.

"I'm pretty sure it's a bad idea to let you stay here with me, Judy, but that's up to you," I knew it was probably going to bite me later if I did let her stay, but it was also going to bite me if I didn't, so it was a lose-lose all situation the way through. Might as well wing it instead.

Carrots didn't respond back to my question, though, still looking down on the floor, while I waited for a response from her. Finally, she gave me her answer.

"I'll stay here for one more night, but we'll see if things improve by tomorrow."

"I understand, then" I simply told her, but deep down, I was sad how this night was starting to turn out for us. We failed to be honest to each other from day one and because of it, things have gotten much more awkward for us to hang around in the same room.

With our conversations over, we both headed back into our own bedrooms, but we didn't bother looking at one another or even say "good night" like we usually do. Once I got into my bedroom, I locked the door behind me, switched into my pajamas and laid down on my bed, staring up at the ceiling. I didn't feel the urge to sleep after what happened. How could one night end up as fuck as hell?

'There must be something that I could to fix this, but what can I do that can make us feel better?' I started to wonder, trying to figure out what would be very helpful to me and Carrots. Then, an idea came to me. 'Of course! Since we're both having day offs tomorrow, we can just spend the day together and do something that can break the awkwardness between us. I don't want to lose my friendship with her, but hopefully we can work this out together.'

Spending a day with Carrots sounded like a great idea at the moment; instead of worrying about how we're feeling towards each other, we should focus on having a good time together, just like what we did two days ago at the movies. But then, I realized there was another problem I didn't think of until now.

'How do I break the awkwardness between us? I wanted to make tomorrow something special, but I have no clue on what the could be. I certainly can't use the movie gimmick from Saturday. It'll just be another rehash and only remind Carrots of our current predicament instead. Still, I need to come up with an idea. If I don't, my friendship with her might as well go down the shithole. I need to make sure that won't happen.'

With this in mind, I pulled my phone out of my trousers and started looking around on the web for something very extraordinary, starting off my search on Goggles, checking for something that was worth trying out. The first result I got, however, was less than idealistic.

"Too simple," I muttered and checked up on the next result. What I saw didn't pleased me either.

"Too childish," I removed that result and checked the next result to...what the hell is this?!

"Hell no!" I quickly removed the result as fast as I could. I wanted to make my day with Carrots special, not racy!

I continued to look up at one result after another and remove them as soon as I was done with them. None of them were quite appealing that would help me and Carrots out. Finally, after a long time of searching, I found something that could be the solution to my problem and I couldn't help but smile at it.

"Perfect."