Mindlessly, Arya flipped through a book out of boredom. She put it back in the wrong place, and then picked up another book to occupy her interests.

"Arya," Sansa called. "Arya."

Arya rolled her eyes. "What?"

"Look, I know shopping isn't your thing," her sister began once she approached Arya. "But, this is your baby we're shopping for."

"I didn't ask you to go shopping with me, you planned this," Arya retorted.

"Either way, we still need to go shopping for my future niece," Sansa proclaimed.

With nothing else better to do, Arya relented. She promised Sansa they could go baby shopping, despite generally being bored to death by shopping. Even though it was her child they were shopping for, it still didn't make the experience enjoyable; she liked to get in and out rather than looking at every single item the store owned.

Finally, they got around to packing the cart with items they would buy, which included: a few outfits, baby formula, wipes, and diapers. Sansa said it was best to start early because you could never be too prepared.

Arya half listened as they placed their stuff on the counter to be rang up. As they were unloading the cart, Arya saw the baby registry scanner. Even though they could buy everything the baby would need, Sansa said that it was important for family and friends to feel included by buying gifts. Arya didn't care for a baby shower, especially under the circumstances, but she allowed Sansa to plan one anyway. Perhaps, it'd be the only day people weren't judging her.

"So, have you decided on any names," Sansa inquired as the cashier checked them out and she loaded the bags back into the cart.

"Hélène," Arya stated, and then tossed a pack of Starbursts on the line.

"That's pretty," the cashier said as she smiled at Arya. In response, Arya fake smiled back. She appreciated the complimented, but it wasn't anything major that someone complimented her the name she choice for her daughter.

"Thanks," she replied as she opened her candy.

"It is really pretty," Sansa agreed. "What made you decide on that one?"

"Orphan Black," she answered.

Sansa's eyes widened in disbelief, "After that—that crazy one."

"She's not crazy, "Arya dismissed. "Just a bit troubled."

"Crazy," Sansa repeated.

"Because society made her that way," Arya argued as they walked on the door. "Imagine if she grew up like the others. And, as you said, it's a pretty name."

"Whatever," Sansa smiled.

After they loaded the car, Arya suggested that they get something to eat. Although she had a big breakfast and several small snacks, she was starving. Since Sansa understood pregnancy cravings, she decided against arguing with Arya about where they'd eat or getting upset when she kept changing her mind. Finally, she settled on a place and it was somewhere Sansa liked too.

"Can I start you ladies off with anything to drink," the waitress asked.

"We'll have two glasses of water," Arya said. "One with fresh lemon."

"Coming up shortly," the woman replied before turning away.

Sansa's phone beeped and she checked her notifications.

"Awww," she cooed as her hand waved her face. Arya figured it was to hold back tears of joy—she suppressed her laughter. "Look."

She showed her sister pictures of Hope and Willas; there were pictures of them together and by themselves. They were having a daddy/daughter day while Sansa went shopping with Arya.

There were pictures of Hope smiling, playing with toys, and looking inquisitive.

"She looks like you when you were a baby," Arya said as she glanced at the pictures.

"She does, doesn't she," Sansa beamed.

Arya ran a hand through her hair. "Gods, I hope Hélène looks like me."

The waitress sat their waters on the table and told them she'd give them some more time to look over the menu.

Sansa didn't have to ask why, she knew why. It was already enough that Arya kept the baby, which serve as a constant reminder that the child wasn't Gendry's, but if the baby looked like Francisco, it may be too much for him to handle.

"Why did you keep her?" Arya raised an eyebrow, which Sansa understood the confusion. "Yes, I'm pro-life and I'm glad you kept the baby, but I know you're…pro-abortion and—"

"Sansa, no one is pro-abortion, you mean pro-choice," she corrected.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Sansa turned red. "Yes, I know you're pro-choice and that you've expressed abortion as an option for yourself in the past. I would've thought that you…"

It was clear that Sansa found difficulty in finishing her sentences. Hélène was growing in Arya's stomach, and it almost felt criminal to put her and abortion in the same sentence.

"Are you ladies ready?" The waitress pulled out her notepad and pen.

Arya ordered her meal as she handed the waitress the menu. Sansa took a bit to order as she explained how she wanted her food prepared.

"That'll be all," she finished. "Thank you."

For a moment, Arya rested her face in her hands before she spoke, "For a while, I've been thinking about death—about my own mortality," she admitted. "It'd been floating in the back for the last few months."

"Really? What brought that on?"

"Everything and nothing," she vaguely offered. "It started when Francisco was shot; that was the first time that I seriously thought about death... All of our grandparents are dead, so it's not like I had to experience one of them dying. Dad's brother and sister died before we were born as well. Hell, Uncle Brandon's death is the only reason we are alive. So, we didn't have to experience death and, that's a good thing, but at the same time, we—I'm so unprepared to deal with it. Not literally—I'm not preparing to die, but the concept, the reality was so unfathomable to me until Francisco. Even then, it didn't feel real."

"So, what made it feel real?" Sansa wasn't used to seeing the introspective side of Arya.

"The story about Gendry's ex killing herself and hearing about how her daughter Polly is dealing with it," she explained. "It just got me thinking: death is so permanent. We can tell Death 'not today' all we want, but it only delays the inevitable. I'm not afraid of dying, I'm afraid of what comes after that: nothing, reincarnation, Heaven? Although I don't subscribe to any established religion, I believe that a higher power exists; I just can't pretend to know what happens after I die."

"Is Hélène a way of keeping you alive?"

Arya took a sip of her water. "Yeah," she answered. "And I know it's irrational because I'll be dead either way, but I'd like to believe there's more to life than this and, if there isn't, then at least I get to live on in some way."

"Whether or not it's irrational, it's perfectly natural; you're not the only one who feels that way."

Arya shrugged. "Even then, it doesn't change anything, now does it? I'm still going to die one day."

"So, why now? Why not wait and try with Gendry?"

"Who knows what'll happen if I wait," she supplied. "Maybe I get shot on the job like Francisco or get into some freak accident and can't have kids, then what?"

"Oh, Arya," Sansa grabbed Arya's hands and squeezed tightly. "Does Gendry know about this…. or Francisco?"

"No," Arya answered. "I just told Francisco that I'd been thinking about being a mother for a while, which is technically true. Gendry didn't ask me why I kept the baby; he's just been supportive." Arya shook her head and laughed. "Mom was right."

Sansa stared at Arya in shock. It was rare when Arya gave their mother credit for something. "About what?"

"Years ago, she told me that what ifs will drive a person insane," she explained. "And what ifs is the reason why I kept Hélène."

Their food arrived shortly afterwards and the sisters changed the subject. Sansa discussed the art classes that she was apart of and opened her up to new experiences and people. Passion radiated out of Sansa as she went in depth about the various techniques she learned and what she took from each class. It started to go down a philosophical path once her sister began talking about what these classes taught her about herself and life.

Once Arya was done with her food, she ordered dessert to share with Sansa; a slice of hot Dutch apple pie with ice cream on top.

"This is so delicious," Sansa gushed.

"I know," Arya said with a mouthful of pie. "I'm ordering another slice."

"Go for it; I'm full," she said as she checked her watch. "Also, I have an errand to run. How about you order your pie to go as I pay the bill?"

Arya picked up her dessert while Sansa waited for Arya at the front after she paid her bill. As she approached her sister, Arya saw someone familiar walk up from behind Sansa.

"Ned," Arya said as she looked at her ex-boyfriend.

"Arya." Ned was equally surprised to see her. "How are you?"

Arya shrugged, "Okay." She followed his gaze to her stomach."…And pregnant."

"Of the many thing I expected to see when I saw you again," Ned began. "I was not expecting a baby."

Arya shrugged. "Neither was I."

Ned took in that Arya and Sansa were about to leave. "I'd invite you to sit and eat with me, but it looks as if you're on your way out."

"Actually, you could stay, Arya, I don't need you to run errands with me; it won't take long."

"Okay," Arya replied, and then turned to look at Ned. They shared an awkward smile.

Arya and Ned waited for a hostess to seat them as they held small talk. Shortly after Ned was seated, he immediately ordered his food and a beer.

"So, do we want to start off by addressing the elephant in the room or do we ease into that?" Ned sipped his water.

"I guess elephant is better than beached whale," Arya shrugged. Ned rolled his eyes as a smile played on his lips. Nervously, Arya tore up a napkin as she spoke, "I'm sorry; I realize now that there were times where I was a very shitty friend and, hopefully, I can rectify that."

"Apology accepted," Ned forgave. Arya looked surprise. "Arya, we're adults; there isn't any need to draw this out. I understand that you're sorry and I don't need you to beg for my forgiveness, but I am glad that you said it." Ned played with the sugar packets for a moment. "Yes. You could've been a better friend, but I also let my feelings interfere with our friendship. Most importantly, I should've expressed how I felt about your treatment of me years ago."

"The question is: would I've listened?"

Ned chuckled as he looked at his ex-girlfriend/best friend, "At least you would've known."

"I guess," she mumbled, and then rubbed temples. "So, how you've been?"

"Honestly, I think I prefer to hear that from you first," Ned honestly admitted.

"Of course you do," Arya said. Audibly, she exhaled before starting, "I…I've missed you. It took you lashing out at me that day at court for me to truly appreciate what a great friend you were—are. As a result of that fight, I lost custody of Hot Pie for a while and shared split custody with you for Mycah. As you can imagine, it was pretty tough being on the rocks with four of your closest friends."

"Well, I was one of those friends," he supplied. "But, I know what you mean."

"So, Francisco became my substitute friend," she continued.

Ned's face lit up at the mention of the male police officer. "How is Francisco doing?"

"Last year he was shot, but he's fine now. He was cleared and is back on duty."

"Oh wow," Ned gasped.

"I know, it was scary for everyone," Arya added. "So since I wasn't really talking to any of you, Francisco was like my new best friend; we spent a lot time together. It made me realize how much I took my friendships for granted." Arya paused briefly, and then squeezed Ned's hand at the thought. "And one night I slept with him; I don't know why, but I did. I mean, on a basic level it can be explained, but upon further thought, it was really stupid in hindsight. The sex was fantastic, but so many things could've gone wrong between us. Umm…shortly after that, Gendry and I began working on us again…our friendship, and then we began dating."

"That's great," Ned said enthusiastically. "I'm glad you two patched things up."

"Then…. I found out that I was pregnant with Francisco's child."

"That's not so great."

"That is definitely the understatement of the year," Arya quipped. "But, Gendry said that he'd support me either way and he has. It's a weird and awkward situation, but we're working through it."

"It definitely sounds weird," Ned agreed. "Even then, I think that if it'd been me, I would've stayed too. Initially, that is. But, then I would've gotten insecure and shit, and then left—then I would've felt like a crappy person, but highly emotional at the same time," Ned, said nonchalantly.

Arya laughed out loud. Ned described himself perfectly and it was clear that he'd dealt with his former feelings. Perhaps not completely, but Arya didn't sense any lingering feelings from him, which was a relief. She figured that the space he had imposed between them was a good thing, despite the emotional distress it caused.

"No," Arya denied after she gave it some thought. "You would've gotten insecure and needed a thousand reassurances from me, but you would've stayed. You love far too deeply to let anything deter you from being with the person you want. You're incredibly loyal and committed." Arya chuckled. "You would've married me just so the kid wouldn't have been born out of wedlock."

Ned gave her words some thought, and then nodded in agreement.

"What can I say? I'm a hopeless romantic," he said.

"No, Ned," she denied again. "You're a hopeful one. I know I'd give you shit for being a romantic, but I did appreciate it and I know the future Mrs. Edric Dayne will too."

"That is if I find her," he said in a self-deprecating manner.

"You will," Arya assured. "Even though you love deeply, you've never been one to rush anything. Finding her is just taking longer than you planned, but she's out there."

Ned raised an eyebrow. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Shut up." Arya folded her arms, and then leaned into the seat.

"I'm serious," he joked. "Arya Stark…telling me to be patient for Mrs. Right?"

"This is why I'm not nice to people," she said as a smile played on her lips.

"I missed you too." Ned slid out of his seat, and then walked over to her side. He held out his arms. "Bring it in."

Arya complied with Ned's orders and was pulled into a bear hug.

Gendry jumped at the keys clanging on the table.

"Gods, Arya, where did you come from?"

"I've been calling your name every since I entered the door," she replied as she stared at him with concern. There were legal papers in front of him, which he placed back into the envelope. Based on his reaction, Arya concluded that he wasn't trying to hide them from her, but didn't want to address the issue with her.

"How was your day?" Gendry kicked a chair out for her to sit in.

"And who says that chivalry is dead," she mocked as she sat down. "I think the better question is: how was YOUR day?"

"Just humor me, okay?" Gendry sighed before rested his chin on one of his hands.

In exhaustion, Arya mimicked her boyfriend's actions and thought over her answer.

"Well, Sansa and I went baby shopping and added gifts to the registry, we ate lunch, and then bumped into Ned as we were leaving, so I stayed and talked to him. Then, I just hung out with Sansa for the rest of the day," she said.

"You bumped into Ned?" Gendry looked surprised and eager to hear about what happened. "How did that go?"

"It went okay. I apologized and he forgave me—it's all water under the bridge," she shrugged.

"It went okay," Gendry asked in disbelief. "You and Ned are talking again—that's great."

"I didn't say it wasn't great—"

"Whatever," he brushed off as he grinned at Arya's announcement. "I'm happy for you." Gendry pulled Arya into a hug and kissed the top of her head.

With a firm hand, Arya grabbed Gendry's chin and directed his face towards hers; she placed a gentle kiss on his mouth. Out of habit, Gendry returned the kiss, and then pulled her closer.

"What's going on," she mumbled into his chest. Gendry knew that she was referring to the papers.

Gendry leaned against the table and had Arya stand between his legs. He brushed a few strands of hair behind her ear, and then traced a finger along her jawline.

"Ruby's dad is dying," he stated. "Terminal cancer… it could be any day now."

Arya ran a hand through her hair. "Oh my Gods," she gasp as she processed the information. "What's—what's going to happen to Polly?"

"He wants to leave me custody of her," Gendry stated, and then handed her the envelope. "He said besides himself, Polly doesn't have any other family. She'll go into the system," he explained. "A Flea Bottom kid in foster care—it's a fucking joke. Nice families don't pick kids from that part of the town; those kids get stuck in the system and end up corrupted in some way. It's rare to come out unscathed." In despair, Gendry looked at the floor. "Ruby's friends were considered as well, but he feels that she has a chance for a better life with me."

"Why? Because you're dating a woman with money?" Gendry frowned, and then scratched his goatee. He grabbed her hand and held it with both of his hands.

"No," he answered. "Hot Pie and I were the success stories of Flea Bottom because we got out; we made something of ourselves and that's what Ruby's dad wants for Polly. Hell, if he were after money it wouldn't be yours. He knows I have a girlfriend, but not who it is. Not only that, depending on what Ruby may have told him, he'd know that I've come into some cash. His decision may have been influenced by money he may believe I have, but I think he really just wants Polly to have an opportunity to make something of herself."

In embarrassment, Arya's cheeks turned red. Although it was understandable for her to reach the conclusion that she did, the fact that it had nothing to do with her was humbling. Ruby's dad was just someone trying to secure a better life for his granddaughter before he passed.

Arya opened the envelope in her hands and skimmed through the document.

"You want to adopt her," Arya asked as she flipped to the second document.

"I—I don't know," Gendry admitted. "Polly is a great kid and if me being her guardian makes things better for her, I'm all for it."

"But, you're unsure how I'd feel about it," Arya provided.

"Yeah," Gendry said. "We're already dealing with…" he gestured to Arya's stomach. "And now to add another kid to it and that's not including all the shit she's been through. That's a lot to handle."

Gentle hands cupped Gendry's face as Arya looked into his eyes. Gendry was usually said what was on his mind, but his eyes gave the whole truth and nothing but the truth. They didn't censor and weren't selective about what they chose to divulge.

"But, you want to adopt her," she started.

Gendry nodded, "Yeah, I do." He pulled her close and rested his head on her chest as he mumbled, "I don't want you to feel you have to agree just because I chose to stay; that's totally separate from this."

"I know." Arya ran her fingers through Gendry's hair, and then stepped back. "But, it's something you need to do." At Gendry's confused expression, Arya elaborated, "Gendry, one of the reasons you stayed at Wholistic Core, besides the idea of having a family, was that you wanted to make a difference for the kids that came from Flea Bottom. You wanted to show them that they could become more than their environment. Also, you know what it's like to lose a parent at a young age and not have any family—you could really make a huge difference in Polly's life," she explained. "I know you know that, but I want you to know that I don't need any convincing."

Harshly, Gendry rubbed his face, and then deeply exhaled. "This is crazy."

"What?" Arya went to the fridge and got herself a bottle of water.

"You're carrying your co-worker's baby as the result of a one night stand and I'm adopting my ex-girlfriend's kid," he chuckled at the far-fetched, but current reality. It was utterly ridiculous, but it was life for them. "And we've only been together a few months."

Arya took a big gulp of water and smiled at Gendry's infectious laughter. The situation wasn't literally funny, but she got it. They've been through a lot in such a short time when it would destroy most people or they'd walk away.

"No," she refuted. "We've been together for years."

With that, Arya left Gendry with his thoughts.

THREE MONTHS LATER

A piercing scream echoed through the air.

Gendry tiredly groaned. He rolled over and faced Arya. Despite her eyes being shut and not moving, he knew she was awake.

"I'll be back shortly," he said, and then kissed Arya on her neck.

Gendry knew that Polly had a hard time sleeping and occasionally had nightmares, but every since she had come to stay with them a few weeks back, she hasn't had a full nights rest. She either cried or tried to come in their room. To calm her down, Gendry would make soothing noises and rub Polly on her back or hug her. He'd then read stories in funny voices or they played with her toys. Most of the time, it calmed her down and eventually Gendry would get her to go to sleep. On the few occasions it didn't, he slept in the room on the floor next to the bed and, on even more rare occasions, he brought Polly to their room.

Tonight was one of those nights.

Despite her nightmares, once calmed down, Polly usually fared well after fell back asleep. But, when it took longer than usual to calm her, he let Polly sleep in the bed with him and Arya. Although Polly didn't know what to make of Arya, the older woman's presence, in addition to Gendry's helped her fall asleep. Arya, on her part, took the situation in stride. Considering Polly's situation, Arya refused to make a fuss about how Gendry handled the sleeping arrangements. Gendry knew that she disliked it when he didn't sleep in the bed with her, but she also understood that Polly's emotional safety and security was important. Gendry signed a contract stating that he'd accept parental responsibilities for the young girl and that was what he was doing.

Every since Polly moved in with them, she'd stay close to Gendry. Gendry explained that he behavior was a result of her mother's death, which Polly used to be a very extroverted child and became an introvert. Polly was always by his side or asking him to read and/or play with her, but she only spoke to Arya when necessary. Arya didn't take it personally; she needed some time before she could feel truly comfortable around the young girl. It had nothing to do with the circumstances that led to Polly living with them, but the fact that the only little kids she felt comfortable around were her own nieces and nephews. Other than that, she tended to stay away from kids. Not to say that she didn't make an effort, but rather, she needed to be eased into a relationship with the girl herself.

Arya felt Polly being laid next to her as she herself tried to fall back asleep. She heard heaving breathing and reassurances from Gendry to Polly. After that, she was dead to the world.

With a thump, Gendry sat a glass of water on Arya's nightstand. When Arya's eyes opened, she saw the concerned that colored Gendry's face.

"Are you sick," he asked as he handed her prenatal pills.

"You know that I don't have morning sickness anymore," she answered as she propped herself up on her elbow, and then tossed the pills in her mouth.

Arya looked to her side and saw that Polly wasn't there. She figured that Gendry took her back to her room.

"I know," Gendry said before gesturing for her to scoot over so he could sit on the bed. He then grabbed the glass of water and handed to her. "I mean have you come down with something?"

"No," Arya responded before drinking her water to wash down the pills. "Why? Do I look sick?"

Gendry turned his head to get a better look at Arya. He put two fingertips under her chin and lifted her face up, down, and side-to-side to examine her. A hand was then placed on her forehead to check her temperature.

"Say ah," he joked as he tried to look into her mouth. Arya opened her mouth and did as told before laughing into his chest.

"Am I sick, Dr. Waters," she mumbled into his chest.

Gendry smiled at her, and then placed a kiss on her forehead. "Nah, you look and feel fine to me," he stated. "I just figured that you had to be sick because you only longue around in your bed on your off days."

A tired sigh fell from Arya's lips. "You knew I was awake the whole time?"

"Yeah," Gendry said as he shook his head. "If I thought you had overslept, I would've woke you up. I assumed that you were abnormally tired because of last night, but you still didn't get up, so then I thought that you must be sick. And now that I've examined you, it seems as if you just don't want to go to work"

"I don't," she admitted.

"Why not?"

Arya looked at her hands, and then to Gendry. "I'm tired." At Gendry's confused expression, she clarified, "Not physically, emotionally…mentally."

"From what," he asked. "Work? The baby? Your family? Me," he listed. Gendry's eyes searched for answers.

"Work," she groaned. "Society—fucking everything." Arya tried to scoot off of the bed and Gendry stood up, and then reached out both of his hands to pull her up. Back and forth, Arya paced before harshly rubbing her face in frustration.

"I'm tired of my identity-my sexuality being used against me as if it's something inherently bad or just in general. I'm tired of the idea of being a female is seen as disadvantage or something to be coddled. I'm tired of dealing with this shit and the fact that I've been dealing with this shit my whole entire life," Arya passionately fumed. "Me being pregnant is just an excuse for these fucking jackasses to display their sexist beliefs. Granted, law enforcement was already a sexist environment, but I could deal—I could swallow it because I knew how to ignore it or I'd go toe to toe with the 'big boys'. But, now... I can't do shit. My hormones are all out of whack. One moment I'm ready to rip someone's throat out and the next I want to break down and cry. And I can't do either—it just makes me look weak; as if I am controlled by my emotions."

Overall, Gendry knew Arya's feelings and beliefs about her place in society as a woman, which was usually expressed through her opinions about specific situations or her briefly venting, but he had never seen her so bothered by the crap she had to put up with as a woman, especially in the police force.

"Did someone say something to you," Gendry said with an edge in his voice.

"Please," she scoffed. "They don't have the balls, but I have ears. I know the shit they say about me: I'm easy, I'm a slut, I'm trying to sleep my way up the latter, which is funny because I'd bet that some of the higher ranked officers had to sleep with someone to get where they are. I'm a better cop than most of those above me and I've no interest in rising in the ranks. And this was after they found out I slept with Francisco. They weren't saying shit before then," she spat. "Now that I'm showing, I'm being asked if I'm going to quit the force and be a stay at home mom."

Gendry's eyes widened at that remark.

"Oh, but it gets worse," Arya said as she read his expression. "When I told them no, they implied that I'd be a terrible mother by staying. Or—or, what if I get shot and injured, or worse, killed? Then, my kid would lose a mother. As true at that may be, they don't seem to give a damn about if a kid loses a father. I asked them if they have the same concerns about Francisco and I either hear crickets or how it is different." Arya ticked the points off on her hand, "We're both cops, we both have the same likelihood of get shot, injured, and/or killed, and we both will be parents. Is it different because he's a male and I'm a female—is it different because I'm carrying the child? I may be carrying the child, but that doesn't make me the "more" important parent if something were to happen to me."

Attentively, Gendry listened to her as his anger brewed beneath the surface. He couldn't imagine the shit she had to put up with at work or how she did it for that matter. He knew that her words paled in comparison to actual events and that upset him them most; Arya put up with a lot of shit to do the job that she loved.

"One would think that all the negative bullshit I have to put up with would come from you—my boyfriend," Arya pointed out. "You know, the guy whose girlfriend is knocked up with another man's baby, but no, it's from my job. And from co-workers who are supposed to be my so-called family due to all the things we go through together. I'm slut shamed and my abilities as a parent is questioned, where as Francisco's given a slap on his ass for fucking me, and no one blinks an eye at his dangerous job. Or, how I can't do my job properly because almost everyone there treats me like I'm fragile and could break at any moment. I'm not even in the field, for Gods sake, I'm doing deskwork, research, questionings, and interrogation—that's it. Not chasing perps, arresting, and tackling people…I love being a cop, I really do, but I'm tired. I can't do this."

In confusion, Gendry stared at Arya and tried to work out what she was saying.

"Can't do what?" Gendry sat on the bed and patted a space next to him. "You want to call in sick and just take a few days for yourself?"

Involuntarily, Arya sighed and sat next Gendry.

"No," she answered. "I'm taking an early maternity leave." She gestured for Gendry to hand her the glass of water. "I can't be in the field, and almost everyone at work treats me like glass…if they aren't whispering shit about me. I just—"

"Arya, you don't have to explain or justify yourself," Gendry stated as he looked at the floor then to his girlfriend. "You've put up with enough shit as it is; I can't blame you for wanting to take your leave earlier than planned."

All at once, Arya was overwhelmed by conflicting emotions: gratitude, grief, joy, elation, confidence, and insecurity were the few that she could put names to. The ambivalent feelings she was experiencing had nothing to do with Gendry himself, but rather, how her actions affected Gendry and the position she put him and their relationship in due to keeping the baby.

Even if Gendry had an issue with her keeping the child, which she believed despite the fact he never gave any concrete indications, he had been incredibly supportive and understanding as he could be given the situation. Whenever Arya had puked her guts out before the morning sickness phase had passed, Gendry was by her side holding her hair back. After she was done emptying her stomach, he'd have crackers ready for her with a glass of water. On a few occasions, he attended doctor's visits with her and Francisco and offered to go to Lamaze classes when she hit the third trimester. There were several baby books about what to expect when you're expecting that had sections highlighted with notes in the margins. Occasionally, Arya would see Gendry researching the safety of baby products.

It was all of those moments and more that Arya was extremely grateful to have Gendry in her life.

Then, there were moments when she tried to imagine the shit he went through due to her decision to keep the baby. A time or two she has overheard Gendry being ridiculed because he stuck by her side. There were remarks about his manhood or him only staying because of her money and even speculation that he may be shooting blanks. As usual, there were people who told him flat out that they believed that Arya was going to leave him for Francisco and others who had the nerve to tell him that he was interfering with the family structure by staying with her.

Arya knew that people were saying shit to Gendry to make him doubt her and their relationship and not once did he lash out at her or use her pregnancy against her.

As much as Arya appreciated that, it distressed her as well. It wasn't fair to Gendry. Those people were flat out wrong for what they were saying to him and, despite Gendry deciding to stay, Arya felt at fault for the ridicule that he experienced.

"I'm sorry." A large, warm calloused hand rested between small, cold hands.

"What for?"

"Not thinking this pregnancy thing out," she replied.

A pensive expression appeared on Gendry's face as he bit his lip. "Don't be."

"Gendry," Arya began.

"No, Arya—"

"Gendry!" Arya stood up again. "Let me finish, okay?" She took a deep breath, and then sipped her water. "Yeah, I wanted to have a kid, but that's not why I kept the baby. I—I was thinking about how short life is and that I could die at any moment. That I didn't know what came next and all of what ifs just bombarded my thoughts so I kept Hélène as a way of staying alive—a piece of that will live even after I die. I wanted so badly for my decision to keep her to be about wanting to have kids, but that wasn't true. Although I want them, fear is what drove my decision. But, I didn't think about you and us; that was selfish of me," she admitted. "And I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry for all the shit you put up because you stayed. It may not compare to what I put up with, but that doesn't make you experience less valid. I love you and words cannot explain how grateful I am to have you in my life, but it also makes me feel uneasy that you have to hear hurtful shit due to my decisions."

"You know, when you first told me you were pregnant, I—I didn't know how to feel…I didn't know where I'd fit in with the baby if you kept it," Gendry confessed as looked past Arya. "We hadn't been together that long and it wasn't complicated anymore; everything was laid out and we knew our places in one another's life. Then it became complicated again." He looked at her, and then took a deep breath. "So, the next day I decided that I was going to run until I found my answer and I did. By the end of that run the only thing I knew for sure was that I didn't want to be with anyone else, but you; I was serious when I said that I would've stayed either way."

"Why?" Arya paced in front of Gendry and expectantly waited for an answer. "Wouldn't it have been easier to leave?"

"Yes," he answered. "People see it as the easier choice, but that doesn't necessarily mean it's the right choice for me." Gendry patted the spot on the bed next to him again. He waited until Arya sat before he continued. "I'm not with you out of obligation, and no one would've blamed me for leaving; it was taken as a given. There are moments where this situation is difficult for me. There are moments where I'm anxious, upset, and angry, but overall, the times you make me happy far outweigh any of those feelings. And I can live with that. Perhaps I shouldn't have to, but you're my family and you're my home. But, don't take that as me saying that I can't live without you; I can live without you, I just don't want to."

Arya wrapped her arms around Gendry and hugged him tightly as her head rested in the crook of his neck. Deeply, she inhaled his scent, which quickly filled her lungs and calmed the restlessness that festered inside of her. It made her believe they could achieve a resemblance of normalcy one day; it made her believe that everything would be just fine.

Truth be told, there were times where Arya did self sabotage her relationships. Gendry had been direct about what he wanted from her and she held him at arms length. Now she realized that it wasn't all about protecting him due to their secret; that was only part of it. In her mind, something was going to go wrong, so why get heavily invested? Why would she set herself up in such a way only to become heartbroken? So, she controlled him and their relationship. She allowed herself to have him, but not completely. And everything she feared happened, but it was due to her actions and not some written in the stars outcome.

The self-sabotage hadn't been intentional, but that didn't take away the self-inflicted wounds she gave herself. It didn't make her hurt any less. Actually, it hurt her more because she hadn't realized what she had been doing. She hadn't known.

But, now she does.

Love is about sacrifice; understanding; forgiveness. It was about give and take. And Arya refused to love in that way, which is why Gendry left.

When he left her the first time, it was because he needed to or he would've gone to jail. The second time he left, it was because Arya was selfish and she was only thinking about herself. When he had the opportunity to leave the third time because she was pregnant by another man, he stayed.

Why?

Well, Arya didn't know completely besides what he had explained to her, but she figured it was also due to her being open and honest with him. Gendry knew that she was committed to them and that may not be the only thing he needed from her, but it was still an important thing.

"Gendry, I don't want you to feel like you have to play daddy," Arya stated, as she laid her head on his shoulder.

"I don't," he replied. "Hélène has a father, but her and I are always going to share the same space and I don't mean just literally. I can't exist in your life in any capacity without having a relationship with her. Me and the baby will have to some sort of relationship and it may not be daddy, but it will be some sort of guardian or authority figure. I'll have to watch her one-day when you're at work or have plans. We'll eventually do something together doesn't you."

Gendry didn't stay with her because he thought he would die without her, he stayed because he wanted to be apart of her life

Although, some personality traits of Gendry's had changed from when she first met him, but the core part of him, the essential part, stayed the same. Gendry knew how to listen, be understanding, and be supportive.

An overwhelming sense of gratitude enveloped Arya.

"Thank you." Out of habit, she grabbed Gendry's hand as a source of comfort.

"For what?"

As Arya cradled Gendry's calloused hand in her lap, she thought her answer over.

"For being there," she began. "For being supportive and not making our relationship or my pregnancy any more difficult than it already is.

Gendry tenderly kissed her hand.

He whispered in her ear, "You're welcome."

Gendry left Arya to her own devices as he got Polly ready for daycare, and then fed her breakfast. To occupy Polly's time, he gave her a coloring book and had Arya watch her, as he got dressed.

As he gathered the rest of Polly's things, he gave the young girl her jacket to put on. Arya was focused on laptop as she simultaneously wrote and highlighted notes on a pad.

"What are you working hard on?" Gendry asked as he handed Polly her book bag and put on his own jacket.

"Research," she offered vaguely. "I'm narrow down our house hunting list."

"Really," he said interested. "How many?"

"Four," she stated. "All of the places are in Winterfell. You've seen them." Arya gestured for him come to her. "See?"

"Oh yeah," Gendry said in recognition. "I like all of them."

Arya looked at him. "That's very helpful, Gendry; I'll call the realtor now and tell her I'm buying all four."

"Great!" Gendry kissed Arya on the forehead. "Come on, munchkin." Polly grabbed his hand and shyly waved bye to Arya.

Arya smiled back as she waved her fingers.

Immediately, Arya got back to her research.

To be honest, Arya never thought about finding a place of her own until recently. Complacency had rooted itself in her life after she broke her engagement with Aegon. Arya was content with the way things were: separating her family with the time she spent with Gendry, living in her parents guesthouse, and the often one-sided relationships with friends and family.

There was a restlessness that lingered in Arya for the longest until she had a hard look at herself. She wasn't allowing herself to feel complete attachments, full emotions, or true personal growth. Now, that Arya had opened herself to these experiences the restlessness abated.

Arya found herself wanting to finally leave the nest once and for all, which starting with finding a new place to live. She and Gendry were taking care of one kid and another was one the way, they couldn't continue to live in the guesthouse. Although it was big enough, she needed to build a life of her own.

A WEEK LATER

A firm thumb pressed against the metal grinders and ignited the lighter. Gendry lowered his head and lit his cigarette. Deeply, he inhaled the smoke, and then blew out his nose.

Gendry turned his heard once he heard the door open only to see Francisco exit the house.

"Hey," he greeted.

In response, Gendry nodded his head, and then took another puff of his cigarette. He wasn't in the mood to converse with Francisco. Actually, he was never in the mood to converse with Hélène's father.

"Can I have a smoke?" Francisco gave a tight-lipped smile as he stood beside Gendry. Without saying a word, Gendry pulled a cigarette halfway out of the pack and offered it to the man.

Without hesitation, he took the cigarette and put it in his mouth. Gendry tosses his lighter to Francisco. After the police officer took a couple of drags, he turned to Gendry.

"You don't like me, do you," Francisco asked as he exhaled.

Gendry flicked his cigarette and thought about the statement.

"I don't like many people," he mumbled. "It's nothing personal."

"It feels a little personal," Francisco countered.

Although Gendry knew it was unfair to have ill feelings towards Francisco, he couldn't help himself. He needed someone as a scapegoat to direct his negative emotions towards. Gendry didn't mistreat Francisco; he simply ignored him and refused to establish some form of relationship with the man. To be honest, it was really counterproductive in the grand scheme of things, but his irrationality phase would pass. At the same time, he needed to behave better so Francisco wouldn't sour towards Gendry once he decided to be mature.

"Fine," Gendry admitted. "It's personal. I just…I know it's not logical, okay? But, it helps me work through…" Gendry searched for a word. "This."

"We all have our illogical ways of working through issues," Francisco offered. "But, I get it. It'd be one thing if I was some random one-night stand—it'd still be tough, but manageable. Since I'm around and you don't know me that well, you're unsure of my motives and that makes you feel uneasy. And it's hard to take me out of the picture because I work with Arya—emotionally, you're stuck between a rock and a hard place."

"Let me guess: you minored in psychology in college."

A chuckled escaped Francisco's mouth. Reluctantly, he nodded. "Yes…I did." A moment of silence passed between the two as the men took long drags of their cigarettes. "I don't know how comforting this sounds, but even if I were trying to make a move on Arya, I don't have a shot in hell. The morning after we had sex, I'd seen the panic in her eyes. She thought that I wanted a relationship or something and she didn't want to deal with that. As soon as I cleared up that it wasn't like that, the weight immediately lifted off of her shoulders. From that moment until now, I've never had any indication that feeling has changed. I was interested in Arya, but not that much and even if I were, I don't pursue lost causes. And Arya is definitely one."

Although Gendry didn't doubt Arya's loyalty and commitment to him, it did bring him some comfort to heat that. Perhaps it was due to hearing it from Francisco's mouth that not only was he not pursuing her, but that there wasn't a mistaken belief that there was a chance to begin with.

"Well—"

"Gendry," Polly quietly interrupted. "Ms. Arya wants to see you."

"Okay," Gendry replied. "Tell her I'll be there shortly." The cigarette was thrown to the ground, and then smashed. Polly waited as Gendry put out his cigarette. He gave a half wave to Francisco, and then grabbed Polly's hand to go find Arya.

As soon as Arya spotted him, she waved him over.

"We're going to open the gifts shortly," she announced as she grabbed Gendry's hand to help balance herself as she lowered herself into her seat. Polly stood quietly to the side.

"You want me to get Francisco?" Arya raised an eyebrow. Although Gendry had never explicitly stated his feelings about Hélène's father, she'd picked up on his behavior. "We had a little chat over cigarettes," he said as way of explanation. "And this is his kid's shower as well."

"I already texted him," she provided. "And, no offense to him, but I can't get through this part of the baby shower without you." Gendry grinned.

Of course Arya hated the gift-opening portion of baby showers, people cooing over baby clothes and products and telling more advice than necessary. It would've been bearable with alcohol, but considering her status, that was out of the question. Gendry made everything tolerable.

After the baby shower was over, Gendry packed the gifts into the car as Arya said her goodbyes to the guests. Once she finished, they went home and put the presents in one of the guest rooms. Arya was tired and didn't feel like putting the items away. Gendry reheated leftovers and made plates for her and Polly.

"What's wrong?" Gendry asked as he stuffed his mouth with food.

"Hmm." Arya seemed lost in her thoughts. "I don't know…it just all seems so surreal. I'm going to be a mother," she said in disbelief. "I guess it always seemed like a concept and not a reality, you know, but with the baby shower and the due date approaching, the idea of being a mom is terrifying."

"The fact that you're worried is a good thing," Gendry reasoned. "Not to say that if you aren't, it's a bad thing, but it shows that you're concerned about being a good mum and so you'll try harder to prevent from failing Hélène." Arya's fork stopped abruptly near her mouth as she looked at Gendry in disbelief. "What? You know I've been reading a lot of baby books."

A faint smile appeared on her face. "It shows."

They changed the topic to baby shower earlier that day. Overall, Arya enjoyed moments of the shower, but being the focus of attention made her uncomfortable. It was different around close friends and family, but a huge group of people beyond that was a bit unsettling.

Abruptly, Arya said, "I feel like everyone is judging me"

"What, for keeping the baby?" Gendry put his fork down and gave her his full attention.

"No, for not being who they wanted me to be," she explained. "Like Sansa. The ideal Westeros woman: great wife, even better mother. She dresses the part, she looks the part, and she acts the part. Then, there's me. The complete opposite."

"Do you want to be the ideal Westeros woman?" Gendry looked at Polly to make sure she was eating. In addition to nightmares and reclusive social behavior, Polly also wasn't eating much when she moved in with them. Gendry has asked around for the best child psychologists and met up with a few before settling on one.

The psychologist he had found came highly recommended and Gendry understood why. Although she still had nightmares and was withdrawn, he could see improvements with the young girl. Polly also had a begun eating more as a result as well.

"Of course not," she spat. "I live my life the way I want, it's just that if I were I'd know how to raise a girl. I wasn't much of one myself—how can I teach Hélène how to be one? I'm going to fuck up her life before she even has a chance to live it."

Gendry scooted his chair away from the table, and then grabbed Arya's chair by the side and pulled it towards himself. He leaned forward and looked her in the eyes.

"If you refuse to be confined and defined to and by gender roles, why would that be an option for your daughter?" Gendry placed his hands on her stomach and his heart started beating faster. "Like you said, you live your life the way you want, so why can't she? By raising her with the ideas you believed growing up, you give her the chance to live her life the way she wants."

A succession of emotions bombarded Arya as she harshly rubbed her eyes. "I know, I just—it's one thing being responsible for only yourself, you know? That's the only person you have to answer to. But, raising and shaping another person? I…I—just don't want to mess her up. I don't want her to feel like an outcast like I did growing."

Tears slowly fell from Arya's eyes.

"It was hard, Gendry," she admitted. "It was hard being the girl who didn't act like a girl. I love the person I am now, but I don't ever want her to feel like she doesn't belong or that she'll never belong. I felt that way for a long time."

Strong arms enveloped Arya as she cried into his chest.

FIVE MONTHS LATER

It felt weird coming home to a new place after living in her parents guest house for so long. She and Gendry moved into the place a week after she gave birth. They had already moved most of their belongings into the place and set everything up, but Arya stayed a little longer for sentimental reasons.

Tiredly, she trudged up the stairs and went into her room. She took her gun off and put it safely away before crashing face forward unto the bed.

Sleep came to her instantly.

Hours later, she awoke to screaming, but these days it wasn't Polly's screams.

Groggily, she rubbed her face and followed the wailing down the stairs.

"There's mommy," her sister cooed.

Arya opened her arms to accept her child. "How was she," Arya asked, then placed a kiss on Hélène's forehead. The infant quieted somewhat, but she still cried. Sansa handed her a bottle, which Arya immediately put in her daughter's mouth.

"An absolute Angel," Sansa said.

Unbelieving, Arya chuckled. "Yeah, because she was sleeping. But, when she's woke, that the last thing anyone gets."

"Oh, Arya, she's just a baby," Sansa defended. "They cry a lot because that's their way of communicating."

"I know." Arya sat down on the crouched, and then maneuvered so the infant had better access to her bottle. "But, when you already work a stressful job, hearing crying all of the time during your off hours is somewhat overwhelming. I'm new to this. I know parenting is a learning curve, but it's still a lot to deal with."

"How much sleep do you get?" Sansa sat beside her sister and watched as Hélène drank her milk.

"None," Arya stated. "Unless she's with Francisco—then Isleep like a baby."

"I bet you do." Sansa lightly touched Arya's knee. "So, how was work?"

Two months after Arya gave birth, she returned to work. As of now, she'd be back at work for three full months.

Exaggeratedly, Arya groaned. "Stressful. I mean, I'm happy to be there and back in action, but being at work comes with a different brand of bullshit than everyday life."

"Arya," Sansa admonished, and then pointed to the infant. "Little ears."

Arya rolled her eyes. "A different brand of crap—are you happy?"

"Very," Sansa said. "Like what?"

"Office politics," she provided without elaboration. "I really don't give a fuc—fudge about moving up in the ranks or "looking good" to higher ranking officials, but other officers and some of my bosses do," she explained. "Because of this, it's sometimes hard for me to do my job to the best of my ability. There are times where I'm forced to let cases go or even not pursue them at all. They care about percentages and what makes them look good rather than actually investigating or carrying out justice. This doesn't always happen, but it happens enough. And when it does, it's times like that that makes me want to quit. Why be a police officer if I can't do my job?"

Suckling noises filled the room as Arya rubbed Hélène's back.

"Wow," Sansa said in a shocked tone. "You've got to be kidding me."

"I wish I was." Hélène finished the bottle and put her mouth on Arya's breast for more, which made Arya giggle. "It's not every police department, but unfortunately, I work in one of the ones that are like that." In the past, Arya tried not to think about it, she tried not to complain about her job because she loved certain aspects of it. But, it was really wearing her thin.

Arya pinched the infant's cheek and Hélène smiled briefly before making noises of frustration. She was still hungry. Sansa could read the tiredness in her younger sister's face.

"It gets better," she provided for comfort.

"She's not the one I'm worried about."

Sansa had nothing for her.

FOUR MONTHS LATER

As Arya was about to twist the doorknob, the front door opened. She was greeted to the sight of Polly.

"Hi, Ms. Arya," she said quietly as the young girl gave her a small smile and a quick hug. Polly didn't give Arya a chance to say hi back before running off.

Polly's circle of trust now included Arya, which brought the older woman a sense of relief she didn't expect to feel. She had no idea how important it was to have Polly's trust until it was given. But, of course, it was nowhere near the trust she displayed towards Gendry who she had started calling dad. Despite this development, Arya didn't wish for Polly to call her mom anytime soon. It just felt wrong because Polly had a mom even though the woman was deceased. Yes, she had a dad as well, but the man had never been involved in her life.

From what Gendry told her, Polly's psychologist mentioned that it was important o Polly to see Gendry as her father. He had been there as a safety net during two of the most traumatic times during her life. He was her connection to the past and anchor for the future.

Arya unbuckled Hélène from the baby car seat and looked for her walker. Once she found it, she sat the little girl in it.

"Hey, Arya," Gendry greeted, and then kissed her. "Polly told me that you were here."

"Yes, I literally just got here," she explained.

"Either way, it's good to see you," he whispered into her ear as he pulled her close.

"Well," she began. "Get used to seeing a lot more of me."

Gendry narrowed his eyes. "You did it?"

"Yes," she said. "I handed my resignation letter in today."

Arya tried to bit back her tears as Gendry hugged her tightly. She quit her job. It'd been her dream job every since she was a little girl and she left. Yes, she could've transferred, but she didn't want to bother putting up with the same crap. Not every station was the same, but Gods, sometimes it was hard to tell when a person is on the outside looking in.

Despite the uncertainty about what was going to come next, surprisingly, Arya found herself calm and unafraid. In fact, she looked forward to whatever new opportunities presented itself.