"I will try not to burden you, I can hold these inside...

I will hold my breath until all these shivers subside...just look in my eyes."

Chapter Twelve

After eloping from Woodbury, I had once thought surviving the winter had been a true testament of strength. In the cold, when my bones shivered and ached in the snow, I had been convinced if I made it through the cruelest season, I could endure the rest of the year. I was sadly mistaken, as it seemed the beginning of spring should prove to be my time of greatest challenge. When it seemed the constant morning sickness just barely begun to taper off, I had a whole other challenge to adapt with. Not long after pulling myself together in the hot-wired Dodge, I reluctantly had to put the vehicle on hiatus to recoil back inside the daycare and tend my condition. The first week, it had been nothing but pain. Everyday, from the morning throughout the entire night I suffered a slow recovery and listless. I was routinely seething in exhaustion from just changing my bandages and consistently reapplied antiseptic ointment. It was just as hard to force myself to eat what little the stranger woman, Carol, gave me, remembering her warning about the weight I should be putting on. The only aspect that seemed fortunate was the weather; with the spring showers, I was at least never thirsty. I managed to empty out a few tuberwares of toys to set outside and collect the rain water while I spent that first week huddled inside the daycare as the sky poured down. I was only accompanied by the cadence of rain pattering against the roof and windows while it tapered on and off for days.

Merle would laugh his diseased dick off if he could see me now, I thought begrudgingly. Who would've thought I would wind up in a very similar situation as the man I had helped heal through his own mutilation. By this time, I had taken my ripped apart shirt and had instead wrapped it around my right arm to pin it tied around my uninjured shoulder. I felt it was easier on my shoulder if I just immobilized the whole arm for now to reduce pulling or jostling my shoulder that had the very high prospect of becoming quite an unattractive scar at this point. It didn't appear I had suffered much nerve damage, eventually able to account for all fingers responsive when they lost most of the swell my whole arm had broken out in after the cauterize. I kept up a strict regime of keeping the burn wrapped and layered with antiseptic at all times; if I kept it from catching infection, I'd make a clean heal. But it still felt like such a spiteful joke that was unrelenting and forced me to have to repeat a few tricks I remembered Merle had learned adapting with only his left hand. Like when I decided to travel up the road from the daycare to see what other residence resided further down. Once the rains died down and sprinkled lighter, I ventured out, zipped secure in Todd's windbreaker that I had retrieved with my right arm slung up and the sickle in my left. It was after another week I ventured outside the house in search of some sort of food supply, but I couldn't help feeling substantially vulnerable wielding my sickle with just one arm, and my weak arm as it was. However, I had to settle considering using the rifle would be even worse to use at this point and I didn't want to chance getting in such proximity to use the pocket knife.

The morning drizzle had my teeth chattering behind my lips while traveled up the road aways, blinking away the dew sprinkled in my eyelashes as I made my way down the dirt road between trees and wilderness bordering me on both sides. I was however halted in my tracks when I spotted a Biter shuffle out from the behind the trees bordering the dirt path, tottering weakly with each step as it crept out from the forest to pass through the road. I remained still, hoping he would pass and disappear into the foliage if he didn't see me. A week ago, I wouldn't have hesitated another moment dispatching him, like a detestable insect that needed to be swatted out of the way. However, as I watched its head lull around, I grimaced as I saw it catch my body standing alone in the distance staring back at it. My insides crawled as it's gnarled, curdled-milk colored face turned right in my direction. I saw this person's matted patches of hair hanging limply down in its face to reveal the clouded corneas of it's eyes meet my own a few feet away. Like most Biters, it's mouth had already been chewed off its lips, only showing its pair of rotted-black gums and filthy teeth as its jaw slacked open to elicit a gnarled groan as it registered something about me was alive. Stumbling from its original direction into the trees alongside the road, it hunkered around towards me, it's eyes flashed desperate and savagely despite its decaying body's incapability to move as fast as its hunger spurred it. My left hand shook with the handle of the curved blade clenched tightly, anticipating its carnivorous pursuit and if I didn't act, it have no qualms sinking it's teeth into me. I remembered how before Merle built the bayonet for his arm, he had once used Philip's machete to practice using his left arm. Rather than swinging it straight down, he had found a useful technique slashing out instead.

So as the corpse trampled closer, I bent and raised my arm up across my chest instead, preparing the blade as I held it up level with my right shoulder. When the Biter was finally in range, I bundled up any gall through the haze of panic to slash down, shouting as I lashed out horizontally across its face until the tip of the curved blade was caught in the thickness of the skull's membrane. I stumbled back to try and dislodge the sickle, avoiding the Biter's flailing arms and its spurting blood before I kicked and tore the steel loose with a disgusting couple pops. Gaining some space between the corpse now practically blinded when it's face had been ripped open, I reared back and sank the crescent-blade down again, harder until it's snarling ceased and its body collapsed under the impalement of the hook. Panting, I was already tired and shaking with nerves, but pushed on to gather myself. Still clenching my right arm close to my flank, I stepped on the corpse to tug out the sickle, wiping it clean-ish on the overalls this person had died with before taking a moment to catch my breath. My heavy breaths were so warm in the sodden, drizzling outdoors as I could see them in wisps that would spout like vapors of smog from my mouth every time I tiredly heaved.

Stuffing the handle of my sickle in the crook of my arm, I swiped the back of my hand to clean off the perspiration on my forehead, smoothing it back into my bangs and out of my eyes. Pulling Todd's hood up over my hair and tightening the bungees to huddle it tighter over my head, I gripped the sickle again in my left and carried on.

I'd only made it to scour the first house up the road that had a few tins of tuna and a can of string beans that had rolled to the very back of the cupboard. It hadn't been much, but it lasted me through the day to make it to the next, when I went out to travel to the next closest home. Biters didn't seem to populate this area too much, and the few I would come across were luckily alone or grouped together in very few numbers that allowed me to slowly get the feel of using a weapon with my left hand. I was terribly clumsy and graceless, but every swing became the tiniest bit easier than the next. It wasn't like my right arm had become crippled, but I could barely lift it higher than my midsection without eliciting pain from my shoulder. At first it crippled me just to put my hair up or to even reach for things, so I could only used it for menial tasks that only required little arm movement.

As the days passed, I'd gone through every house, five other homes along Spalding's back roads as far as the dirt led before it stopped and trailed into the forest. By then, the week was about to end; I reduced the amount of times I applied the A&D ointment and allowed the raw skin of my burnt shoulder to dry enough to build up a scab that now encrusted the entire wound. It was terribly itchy, and it would drive me half insane to keep myself from raking my nails all over the scab. However maddeningly irritating it was, I was relieved to see it was a sign it was healing healthily. I eventually discarded the makeshift sling too, deciding now it would be alright to start building the strength back up in my arm.

Piece by piece I began to put myself back together; I was able to finally brush out my clump of hair that had matted after so long of neglect, sponged myself clean with a basin of rainwater as well as soap I'd taken from one of the daycare cupboards, and even stomached using a strangers toothbrush with some baking soda I'd retrieved from one of the miscellaneous houses. Some days, when it would rain so heavily that I could do nothing but remain holed up in the daycare, I couldn't wrap my brain around how far I was set back. Yet again. Just earlier this spring, I'd been catching fish at the stream and had been doing alright. I hadn't had everything together, but I had been about to take the step forward to prepare myself to search out supplies and a place equipped to give birth. Now I felt back at square one trying to amend this new set back. The other half of my supplies was stashed up the spiraled tree far west of the daycare, and it would take a while longer to be able to venture out that far to go retrieve it.

Another thought that sometimes had me reeling was the reoccurring run-ins I had with this group that had helped me. I'd been really fucking lucky they hadn't been plunderers. They could have been heartless motherfuckers, like Merle or Philip, who could've just killed me for what I had. Yet they'd come back with bandages and fucken prenatal vitamins. It kind of perturbed me how big of a debt I owed them, no matter how square that Carol liked to call it, they had gone beyond anything I would ever do. There had been a weapon with ammunition right at her feet, yet had never glanced desirably upon it inbetween her boots. And the man with the crossbow. Hard faced and rough voiced; I'd kicked that guy Daryl in the nuts the first time we, quite literally, ran into each other, yet had also returned with the other woman that sympathized enough for me to persuade him to bring her. Even if that douche took my bow, at least he gave me back the ones he took from me in the car.

It felt like ages to recover, but Biter ratio here was fewer and the one benefit of residing alone was less chances at being detected if I kept my head down and hunkered low. Little by little I was able to creep back into mobilization; it was a painfully slow process, but I eventually siphoned most of the cars near town and began a small collection of gas cannisters that I'd found in the trunk of an abandoned Corola to fill. After I accomplished gathering a good couple gallons, I set out to find another vehicle. The Chevy did the job getting me to the daycare, but I needed something a little more reliable on the road. I didn't want a gas guzzling truck that could difficult to get through tight traffic snarls. When I was up for it, I traveled the next town over, the city signs and my map ripped out from the back of the yellowpages told me it was Zebulon in Pike country. Apartments were a little seedy to check out, but a resident parking lot had caught my attention when I came to find quite a few cars were still parked in their slots. Wondering if this place fell early, the supplies here were tempting, but I resided to peek through the windows of vehicles to see if any were by chance unlocked and had anything worth looting.

One car was pretty clean, the owner having kept up good maintenance keeping the interior neat other than the lime air-freshener hanging off the rear view mirror, a few various papers folded in the side door, and a booklet of someone's registration and proof of insurance in the glove box, the numbers melted against the clear-slot it was tucked inside. The next car I was a little more fortunate was a little untidier and more interesting to look through. A backpack was thrown in the backseat on the floor, but when I unzipped it to look inside, I was disappointed to find nothing but a few thick textbooks and a school binder. I precariously threw the binder in my own bag, leaving the rest of the backpack after snagging a pack of gum and a pen that had been stuffed in the front pocket among various other highlighters and pennies. A black polo shirt had also been tossed back here with a pair of black slack pants, but I frowned at how tiny of a figure they belonged to and couldn't possibly hope to clip the front over my my pot-belly. When I flipped the shirt over, I arched an eyebrow at seeing a green embroidered Subway logo below the collar on the breast of the shirt. I didn't know whether to think it was funny or sick, but with any little clothing I did have still stranded miles away, I stuffed it in my own bag I had hanging over my good shoulder anyways. It was still a struggle if I had to use the sickle with the bag bearing the full weight on the same arm. I didn't want to chance chaffing the scab with the strap and I felt the tendons weren't ready since it still shot pain up my arm if I applied too much pressure, so by the end of most days, my left grew considerably tired and sore.

Other than a packet of soy sauce in the driver's side door I pocketed to maybe help something taste better, I moved on through the parking lot to try and find another to peek through. A Biter had been prowling around a few cars away, its body bumping clumsily against the cars it passed and I worried it would set off one with an alarm. Crouched down, I creeped as quietly as I could around the silver painted vehicle and scurried on the balls of my feet to duck behind the next closest car. As I approached closer to the hobbling corpse, I maneuvered close enough, hidden behind a dark truck as I waited for his stumbles to get closer. When I felt the truck rock as it was bumped into, I reared and swung out to implant the end of the curve of my blade in the side of its head, pulling me down a little before I could tear the sickle back out to avoid the collapsed corpse. Having disposed of the lurker, I found a Civic that was easy to slip the jimmy in and was thankfully without an alarm. Scouring quickly, I found a much more detailed map of Georgia in the glove compartment and happily came across some jumper cables in the back of the trunk I couldn't resist taking.

After folding up the thick cables to stuff as tightly as I could manage, it took up most of my bags remaining room so I thought it best to start wrapping things up. As I was about to slide out of the cars backseat, a black little case stopped me for a moment. Squatting down to reach for the case, I grinned when I unzipped it to discover what I thought it was. Familiar disks I hadn't used in a long ass time were organized behind plastic slots, most looked to burnt with no logos are any particular artwork, just scribbled titles written in sharpie. No slot was left empty as I flipped through the pages, some even stuffed with two or three cd's to a slot. However, each wasn't labeled after any artists I was familiar with, more like various labels such as Sunrise, Oldies, or Goodnight. I could feel my brows furrowing at such strange names for cd's, so much so that I leaned a little too heavily on the open car door that swung out and hit the car beside it with a soft thud.

Jolting up with a horrible start, the car the door had hit shrieked out its alarm so painfully loud and disruptive I could feel it echoing throughout the whole parking lot. Cursing, I shoved the disks in my waistband and ran to the caterwauling CRV. Jimmying the lock open, I quickly leaned down and ripped open the panels under the steering wheel, wincing as this all pulled on my shoulder. Flicking open my knife, I found the wire to disable to alarm and slashed it, swiping my forehead in relief for the silence. Wiggling my body back out from under the steering wheel, I leaned against the vehicle and huffed a breath of relieve.

But it was definitely short-lived as I realized any Biters that had been roaming in close proximity had heard the disruption and were following out of the parking lots entryways. I was fucked out of any more time here and tossed my bag inside the CRV before climbing back down to yank out the ignition wires to hotwire the car. It didn't take me nearly as long as the last time I'd been chased and I was fortunate to hear the ignition start healthily and jumped up to pull my legs in and close the door behind me. I released the parking lock that was beside the steering wheel in this car, pulling the gear into reverse as I jerked out of the spot. The hands of pursuing thumped across the car door and slicked across the windows as they scrambled after me, but I showed no mercy as I thrust the wheel around and switched the car into drive before speeding off, bumping one out of the way with the side of the car as I took off through the gathering crowd. After getting back on the road I'd come in on, I was able to heave a sigh of relief once I was pretty much in the clear, and was even pleasantly surprised to find the gas gauge was a quarter above half full.

Once far enough on the road, I pulled over and unzipped the windbreaker to shake off, leaving me shivering in just my bra until I wedged on the black polo. It was tight, especially to pull down over my midsection, but it warmed me besides the cold jacket material. I slipped out the case of cd's I'd wedged in my waistband and threw it on the passenger seat next to me. These better have good fucking songs, I thought a little begrudgingly. I turned to eye the rest of the car, it was spacious, the hatch completely accessible over the backseats. The interior was tan and wasn't particularly dirty, a few crumbs littered the backseat carpets, the middle console's cupholders held various change still and the steering wheel was slightly cracking and peeling. I hadn't intended to pick this vehicle, but it wasn't too bad of a choice, so I pulled the CRV back on the road and headed back with it to Griffin.

I was able to make it back through Spalding county with the CRV, and was the last night I remained in the daycare. After much deliberation, I felt it might be a little easier on the road for the time being, so I packed up my supplies into the hatch of the vehicle and decided to move on. Eventually, I was able to make my way back to my gear, taking the 16 to get back to the part of forest I'd been residing. Finding the stream, I was able to follow it back to the familiar juncture I usually used to fish, still seeing a few of my old stakes that hadn't been washed away from the current by now. From that point, it wasn't difficult to navigate my way back and was able to locate the spiral tree I had stashed the other half of my supplies. If I could've pushed back climbing the tree another week, I would have if my supplies weren't ran so thin and I was done with living on what I could scavenge from house to house. But with the amount of strain I put on my shoulder stung irreparably and even tore some of the scab that had been growing. Unbuckling the duffel from around one of the branches had been torturous on my sliced shoulder reaching for the bag since I had to hold myself up with the right. I could've let go completely and collapsed down to the ground with the bag if I didn't fear injuring my stomach, so I had to wait in excruciating pain to slide my way back down before I could pant through the pain roaring through my arm.

I made my way back to the car very slowly, almost taking me the whole day from how much that climb drained from me. What added salt to the situation was to come across a few wandering forest Biters, leaving me with no other choice but to defend myself as they came for me. The first corpse, I had been so frustrated and exhausted, I didn't care that my arm was yanked painfully as I used it to push back its clambering arms and drooling jaws before sinking my pocket-knife through its eye. With the next Biter, I didn't feel the need to brace its body back, but just went out to meet it under another stab with my left arm. I began to learn it was effective to step into the strike, dodging its grasp to swing back around and stab it efficiently with less of a struggle.

I was learning.

Despite how much more confidence I had built with my left arm, I felt the brunt of my body's exhaustion by the time I reached the CRV. Locking the doors, I attended to unwrap the bandage to get a look of my scab that had ripped from the edges of skin it'd grown around and blood had already dabbed against the gauze even before I'd unwrapped anything. The skin around the scab had inflamed and was tinged a feverish pink. After I splashed a bit of peroxide over the open flap of scab, I groaned and curled into myself for quite a while before I could finish re-wrapping my shoulder.

When I recovered myself, it was already getting dark so I decided to remain parked off the side of the road for now. Adjusting the seat back and leaning it back so I could lay back, I wasn't able to find rest right away due to the throbbing of my shoulder until a long, long time into the night after the sun had gone down and my eyelids finally collapsed shut.


I spent the next couple days traveling in the CRV with the map splayed out in the seat beside me. Rather than head back through Pike County, I went the opposite direction through Fayette, a less populated part of Georgia and far enough away from the highways. I had to take backroads, sometimes even having to chance major streets to get through a couple parts of town either too crowded by abandoned or crashed vehicles, or by Biters. It was tedious to say the least, considering I was never good with maps to begin with, and I used quite a lot of gas going back and forth some days.

The CRV was spacious and accommodated my lifestyle, becoming my own storage for what I could scour, no longer having to just be limited to what I could fit in bag space. Though its also brought the higher risk of detection if I ever came across people, having to now travel out in the open roads rather than slink through the shadows of the forest. Driving at least gave me a chance to rest up my shoulder, so I didn't find myself too reluctant about the new arrangement. In fact, it was also a small comfort some days, to be able to step on the gas pedal and flee, rather than run through the woods to flee for my life. When I grew tired, I pulled over to find hidden locations to hide the car from any looting wanderers and curled up in the little shelter the CRV provided, no longer crawling up trees to shield away from the world.

Now that I had moments to breath outside of the constant hover of survival, I had a couple days of peaceful travel. The cd's became quite the comfort during the days I spent driving. Setting the volume only a few notches above mute, it was pleasant to hear an old luxury like music. I had first tested the collection by deciding to select the cd with the title Mars scribbled across the front, none too neatly. Curious, I gave it a go and slid it into the cd player, quiet to listen for whatever could play back through the speakers. Not sure what I had really been expecting to hear, I was quite surprised to be met with the soft octaves of a piano playing. The croon of a man followed suit... It's a god-awful small affair, to the girl with the mousey hair... It took me a bit, but found that the song was indeed familiar when I found myself able to whisper along to well-known David Bowie lyrics, especially from my teenage years with Nat. The first song was Life On Mars, go figure. The rest of the cd wasn't half bad either, a mixed playlist of more Bowie songs with a couple other Iggy Pop songs I also recognized with a few Velvet Underground thrown in as well. Whoever made this cd must've really dug pre-punk, early new wave I presumed, remembering when my sister and I used to be in that phase. In fact, I Wanna Be Your Dog had been one of my sister's favorite Iggy songs. It was strange to hear it without her singing in the background. So messed up I want you here...

I couldn't chance killing the battery, so I only turned on the radio if I was driving, but if I could've listened to them all day I would have. With every day, I went through more cd's, always anxious to hear which songs were on what. I admit, there were a lot that I didn't know or couldn't place where I recognized a few songs, and I guess would never know considering these were all burned disks and none labeled, but some disks surprised me with what music they had on them. I pondered sometimes who it was that had put together all these cd's, wondered what their name had been, what kind of life they lived and how they listened to every song. Did they miss their music somewhere, or were they dead and it didn't matter to them either way.

I listened to every cd, no matter what the genre, up until I popped in a disk marked Swank. Hearing the sharp forte of a trumpet and piano, I recognized it to be Bessie Smith after a while of listening to the woman sing along to the melody. And after that, Ella Fitzgerald. Then the tune of Duke Ellington, and even a few famous Louis Armstrong songs. My grandmother had been into this kind of music, especially Ella Fitzgerald- and so had my mother. That was about the only thing Meredith and Rhian Somerset ever shared in common. My grandmother used to play her albums loud throughout the house on certain occasions, mostly if she was cleaning or some days even just when she had the house to herself, only hearing when we came home from school. My mother however, would lock herself in her room and play certain songs on repeat over, and over, and over again. Sometimes until my dad came in after her and turned it off himself. This wasn't a cd with particularly that many sad songs, but my mood had begun to darken to the tune of this one. It wasn't until I recognized the innovative symphony of Billie Holiday, singing softly through the car as I drove slow through a cluster of cars that had scattered shattered glass all across the road.

You go to my head... you linger like a haunting refrain...

This time driving around in the car felt like some form of limbo I was stuck in. Sure I found food here and there, and I had plenty of stored up water, but every soggy day I traveled staring out the rain-pattered windshield watching the wipers clear away the splashes, I felt more lost about how to continue.

And I find you spinning round in my brain...

With every passing week I took notice to the miniscule growth happening inside my abdomen, a bigger darkness grew in my mind and contaminated my heart with a cold numbness. I sometimes wondered if my body allowed me to feel the whole weight of what I was responsible for, would I lose it altogether?

Still I say to myself... Get a hold of yourself...

I still kept Todd's jacket zipped up secure over it, careful to not allow another slip up. But I almost felt like that was a tiny lie I kept concealing from myself. After all these months, Todd's scent had long ago faded from the jacket and had stopped smelling the fabric months ago, but it still comforted me to know I still carried parts of him that protected me.

Can't you see that it can never be...

When Todd urged me to leave Woodbury, I was positive this wasn't what he had in mind. Had he anticipated me starving and alone when he made me promise to leave?

You go to my head with a smile...that makes my temperature rise...

Sitting alone with only the words of people already dead was beginning to turn sour to me. I hadn't had a conversation with a single living person other than with a man who had slashed my shoulder and a couple strangers at gun-point. Just carrying a conversation between Carol, or Maggie had been exhausting and I never really knew what there was left to say to somebody in this world anymore. It was a disturbing realization, but it was true and it was deteriorating me. Was there even an Olive anymore? Fuck if I recognized this pessimistic, guarded person I'd gradually become.

Like a summer with a thousand Julys, you intoxicate my soul with your eyes...

Before I could stop it, a tear trickled down my cheek, rolling down into the corner of my mouth where I licked the droplet away. Sometimes I wished Todd had never asked such a request of me; but all I could remember was the plea in his eyes and the desperation carved across his face. I wondered if love really was a chain over my sanity, tethering my hear by a promise to a dead man.

At that last thought, I turned the radio off and sat in silence for a long time afterward.


I passed through Fayette and continued on through Cowetta, despite being dangerously close to Atlanta, but it had a lot of roads through a lot more open pastures of farms than cities and was far away from Woodbury. Most residence seemed to be overrun and already picked clean. One horse pasture had smelled something horrible, I had to roll the window up quickly, but not before the smell of dead filled through. I had to pull over and practically heave my whole stomach out through my throat. Forcing myself to get a hold of myself enough to drive through and get out of the stench. As I drove with a hand clamped over my mouth and nose, I swallowed back the urge to throw up more as I realized why it was so rank here. Large piles of mangled somethings laid all over the pasture I drove through, and when I passed by one closes to the fence at the side of the road, I saw it was the remains of eaten horses.

Moving on, I came began to pass up most of the farm population and began to come up on more rural towns. I felt it was time to cut the car and refer back to the map to figure another way through when I got to a town Newnan. It had an awful lot of stores one had to drive through, and as I parked and watched from a distance, I couldn't see too much Biter activity for such a populated area. I pulled the car off the road a ways, glad for the vehicles four-power drive to hide it around a bramble spot in the woods to the side of the road. I hated leaving the car full of my supplies, knowing locked doors didn't keep anyone out anymore if they spotted what they wanted, but I took a pack of essentials with me all the same before securing the vehicle up.

Heading out on foot, I carried the rifle slung around my back with my bag, but only for last resort purposes as I kept the sickle close at hand. I was greeted by a gas station on the way in, but most of the places I passed through were clothing stores, a couple restaurants and a picture store by the look of posed children and family portraits hung up behind what was once the store front, but it seemed almost every one had been busted in. I walked through a few shattered doors and took advantage to steal a hoodie I spotted still hanging off a hanger. I looked through the selection of jeans and picked out a couple pairs that were sizes much more bigger than I usually wore. The size 16's would be coming in handy soon so I figured might as well grab them now before I actually needed the pair of 16's. Grabbing a shit ton of camisoles they still had in every which color or the rainbow, I took copious amounts off the rack, though avoiding the neon colors, and stuffed them as much as I could in my bag taking up all the room. I would need new shoes as well soon by the state of my boots; they'd done the job keeping my feet from getting wet and soggy from the rain and had taken a few Biter bites, but the soles were wearing so very thin that I could puncture a hole through with my finger if I wanted and I was afraid to tighten my laces too much more incase they ripped from how flimsy they'd gotten. But it seemed most of these stores had nothing but fashionable flats and high heels for women. I found myself better luck looking through the men's apparel for shoes and took a pair of smaller-sized, thick-soled sneakers.

Going a bit further through the town, I passed through Newnan's shopping center, and according to the big directory sign showing the various logos of the more well-known retail stores like Old Navy, a Target and a Walmart right next to each other (why the two same kind of stores coincided besides each other, I didn't understand), a Petsmart, and an Edwards Movie Theater. A few other cars appeared to be parked around the Newnan shopping center's parking lot, but none appeared to be in any recent working use as I spotted a close-by vehicle with an unmoving body slouched against the driver's side door and old blood splattered across the windshield, having already dripped down the car door and dried that way. I nudged the body while walking by, making sure it was truly dead before I moved on. The maggots wriggling their way out from the corner of the corpse's eyes that remained sightless assured me it was dead for sure.

It was a ghost town I walked through. Not even a Biter could be spotted, and it seemed the rats of Newnan took this opportunity to scurry back and forth throughout the parking lot as I walked through, foraging just like myself. I frowned at the notion I lived more like a goddamn street rat than a human-being. Passing the theater first, I saw it's entrance that stretched to at least ten feet high had once been nothing but glass, reminding me much of Michael's apartment lobby how shattered the front was now with nothing but pieces of glass all over the pavement and carpets inside. How sheik people had once thought it all looked, glass doors, glass walls. They were nothing but barriers now, and it had been decorative architecture such as this that had come crumbling down first.

Continuing by, I passed the Old Navy and Petsmart, more interested to peek inside the Target or Walmart that I discovered rounded around the other side of the shopping center, realizing stupidly if I had gone the other way from the theater I would've come up on them first. I rounded around the shopping center, jogging to hurry and get out of the open and passed the sliding glass doors. The glass doors were half open with no electricity any longer, I squeezed through the former automatic doors and slid them closed before locking it behind me to keep out anything lurking inside. I immediately ducked down behind a row of bright red shopping carts that hadn't been left behind in whatever chaos the store endured at one point, crouching down to listen for any groans that had been attracted to my entrance. Not hearing anything but the dead silence of the store, I poked my head up to scan around the front registers and the customer service department, but didn't spot any Biters at this end. Arising back up to hurry through the front, though most was already ransacked to the last little bag of chips.. Though one of the mini fridges still had two warm bottles of mountain dew I snagged. Magazines were scattered and littered all over the floor as I stepped carefully through the registers, faces of people most likely dead splattered all over the pages. I bet their corpses didn't look so hot anymore. Stepping over Angelina Jolie and Brad Bitt's faces, I wondered if they screamed just like the rest of us.

Most of the aisles were unsurprisingly bare as I passed through the clothing section to head straight for the food aisles. Even the refrigerators were bare, and anything left in them didn't dare eat. Passing the cosmetics section, a lot was taken as well, but a few travel-sized deodorants, shampoos, and conditioners were left behind in the value bins that I was all to happy to take. Traveling a little further through the store, I paused before rounding the corner to the napkin and toilet paper section, so the sign above the aisle said. A soft, almost mouse-like squeak stopped my tracks, turning back to flatten myself back to hide around the end-cap of the aisle as I tried to decipher what it could be. The weak little squeaks continued, repetitive and had yet to quiet. Swallowing hard, I gripped the sickle tight, raising it to clutch the blade close to my chest and sucked up my trepidation to peek around the shelves. A Biter was sprawled out, laying half on the shelf with his legs splayed out in the aisle. I saw it was the guy's sneakers squeaking weakly against the floor, its legs weakly twitching like it was trying to get up but his feet continuously slipped weakly against the tile. I crinkled my nose at spotting just why it was so incapable of lifting itself up, considering its body was practically severed completely in half and its now black, rotted intestines were spilled out over the shelf it had been thrown into. Its clouded over irises still looked around as it rose its jaws gaped open and closed, quietly rasping. I normally would have considered just leaving it alone, but I noted that I could see a a pack of toilet paper thrown back on one of the shelves. I said fuck this Biter and stepped out, wanting at least the small comfort of something to wipe my ass with.

The Biter turned its attention as I stepped closer, able to hear my boot patters. It looked so starved, the rotten skin clung so tightly against its face now it might as well have been the sculpture of a skeleton. As I neared closer, I swear it almost looked up at my incredulously; like he couldn't believe its sight actually set upon living flesh that had just walked up to it. I paused, its expression disconcerting for a brief moment as it looked up at me. But I must have just imagined such a human emotion, as the next moment it growled a weak, guttural gasp and I recognized the hunger spread across its features this time. In disgust, it didn't take much else to swipe the blade down, slashing into its already deteriorating face. However, I didn't finishing with the whole stroke, instead holding the arch of the blade imbedded into its still gurgling face before I leaned down to put my weight into it, sinking the blade deeper until it seemed I'd gone far enough to finally immobilize it. Once it stopped moving entirely, I yanked the blade back out, thankful I had the bandana over my face to muffle most of the rank odor but still didn't discourage my stomach threatening to turn up. I quickly grabbed the toilet paper pack to stuff in my bag as I hurried to distance away from the corpse and hurry on.

The next couple of aisles were nothing but empty shelves were there used to be medication, but most I would'nt have been able to use anyways. When I had first become sick during the winter, I had taken quite a lot of cough syrup to try and subdue the symptoms I thought had been a cold or the flu, and even that wracked me with a lot of guilt about what that could have done to what I really had inside me. It wasn't too soon after that I rounded an aisle that carried its baby supplies. I was shocked to see how much was still in stock on the shelves. I had hit the motherfucken jackpot of baby supplies. A lot of what was left were toys, but there were a few pacifiers, powdered formula, diapers, baby wipes, and even a few jars of baby food that were still left as well. I immediately shrugged off my bag to start gathering everything I could fit and take with me, even inclining to take a few things out to take in exchange. I had to admit, it wasn't like I couldn't eat the baby food myself, remembering how they didn't taste bad at all when Jemma began weening off bottles.

Halfway in the middle of my excitement, a low moan stilled my attempt to squeeze in a few more cans. Dread seeped in the pit of my chest and dripped down into my stomach as I heard shuffling, furrowing my brows at how disturbingly close it sounded. Double-checking around me, I didn't spot any signs or shadows of anything approaching. With my head craned trying to spot anything at the end of the aisle. A cold, sticky grasp grabbed hold of my hand that had been still over the zipper of my backpack and yanked my arm hard. I screamed startled as it pulled down painfully on my bad arm and practically snarled in my ear. I threw myself back frantically, yelping at the sharp pain that stung up my arm and kicked out to escape it gnawing jaws. Stomping my teeth down over its face, it yowled as I dislodged a few of its teeth under my boot heel, cringing when my next kick cracked its nose loud and spurt blood all over my foot. I managed to dislodge myself and scurried across the aisle, scrambling to get to my feet. I hissed and massaged my shoulder, realizing it must have crawled onto the practically empty pallet from the other side. Looking on now with disgust at its body hanging half off still trying to reach me, I froze when I heard other moans coming from somewhere further inside the store.

"Fuck," I hissed, refraining from bashing the Biters head in favor of running. About to head back to the entrance, I was cut short as I saw a few Biters came clambering from the way I originally came. I didn't understand where the fuck they could've come from, but more were stumbling through the clothes section towards me. I turned back around and ran further into the store, weaving through the aisles in hopes of losing the Biters that had flocked to my earlier screams. I ran towards the walls, sprinting by the once refrigerated meat section. Spotting a pair of black doors, I was about to make a beeline for what looked to be the store's stock room, but the doors swung open and more Biter's came pouring out. I quickly veered off and made my way around a few furnishing and bath aisles, all the while grabbing my gun to run with and kept at the ready considering there were so many corpses now. I was still apprehensive about the kick back to my shoulder and had yet to practice firing with my bad arm, especially with the throbbing that had started up.

With my backpack bouncing against my back as I ran, I could hear the groans coming from behind, their shuffling slicking across the floors and the echoes of my own boots pounding in my ears. The instant fear began to cramp my chest, but I caught it before letting it consume my being and didn't care if I was blowing out and sucking in loud pulls of breaths. My feet sprinted as fast as they allowed, my arms pumping up and down at my sides; I felt myself ease into the run, very much like I had the day I had tracked the doe, allowing the fog of panic to subside enough to focus on my surrounding. Maneuvering through the electronics that was almost a completely stripped section this far back in the store I cursed to see a few Biters had awoken and were shuffling towards me here as well. But passed the dead shambling to reach me, I saw there was an emergency exit against the far corner, an alarm above the door but at this point, I couldn't give a shit if it rang as long as it opened. There was one that was barely hobbling to balance on one leg as its other ankle was practically dragging along, only still attached by the bone and loose ligaments and another that was coming from behind a clerk counter, a former employee by the looks of his torn red shirt that he had bled all over and stained an even darker crimson from half his face having been torn off.

Kicking out and unbalancing the first Biter, I turned quickly to the other, bringing the blade up above my head to bring down over his. My aim was still a little awkward, and it almost cost me when the the sickle sliced halfway down the side of the Biter's already torn up face, exposing more of it's faces nerves where I could see a peek of the cheekbone. When I had brought my arm down, I accidentally pulled the bandana down from around my face and was instantly assaulted by the horrid decaying stank that sent my stomach rolling. It took everything to not heave all over myself and quickly pulled up the material back over my face, swinging again, this time connecting accurately enough to the brain to send it collapsing to the ground. Pulling the blade free, I dispatched the Biter still trying to sit back up while trying to still crawl to me, catching his chin under the hook of my blade deep enough until he ceased as well.

I could hear growling still approaching and yanked out the sickle through the decaying chin of this Biter, only sparing a weary glance to see how much time I had before bolting for the back exit. With my arms already out in front of me, I bashed through the door, swinging it open and didn't bother shutting it behind me, knowing that big of a crowd could easily push it back open. Cast back into the daylight, I frantically searched around for my next step, realizing as I scanned around this was the back of the shopping center with each building back-to-back against each other. Cursing to myself, much to concentrated on keeping it together to shout out loud, I could have very well just cornered myself. If my hands were full, I would've raked my fingers over my head as I despaired about what to do, knowing those Biters would come crashing through that door any second.

Now I would never know the story of how this place went down, or how many people could've died here. But it appeared that someone at some point in time, for whatever I would never know, had put some wooden stick of some sort sticking out from between a pair of doors, leaving one cracked open the tiniest inch. The moment I realized the door was propped open, I tore off towards the doors and threw it open, noting the end of the broom that had been wedged inbetween the doors clatter to the ground. The next moment, the emergency exit burst open and Biters stumbled out, wincing into the sunlight as they continued their pursuit. Kicking the broom handle to the side, I threw my body back against the door to shut it. It was pitch black and I could only hear the sound of my pants with the snarls and pounding muffled behind the door. I flicked my flashlight back out and quickly scanned around. With only such a small focus of light, I could make out I was in some sort of hallway that lead out to stairs further down. Traveling cautiously, the stifling cement turned into carpet, strangely printed with various planets. Pointing the light up, I felt a bit taken aback to see I was in a room full of seats like some auditorium. Turning to shine the light up a huge wall I had walked from behind, I pieced together I had stumbled my way into the movie theater. Pretty creeped out by the enormity of the theater, I hurried to make my way past the rows of seats, shining my light on them to check for any arising Biters that might have been trapped inside. I made my way around a corner leading out from the auditorium and down the hallway. Keeping my light in front of me, I eventually found the doors leading out and I felt even more apprehensive about what could be outside. Deciding I rather not wait myself out here in the dark, I counted down before braving to step out the doors. As I shone the light around, I was in a now bigger hallway it seemed, various other doors to other theaters on both sides. It felt like a maze in so much darkness, but I relented taking a left to see if I could find another exit to the outside. If Biters had been attracted to the Target, I could have a chance at making an escape back to the CRV if I could exit out the from of the theater out the other side.

As I made it down the hallway, I could see it begin to brighten and didn't even have a need for the flashlight anymore as I realized I must be coming up on the lobby. It was then my steps slowed, remembering how the front of the theater had been completely shattered from the front. As I crept out from the hallway, I indeed spotted tiny shards of broken glass scattered all over the carpet as the entrance gaped so widely exposed to the outside. The sun beamed on the abandoned concession stand, the popcorn machine visible behind the counter with old bags of popcorn littered everywhere. The light actually shone so brightly in, it made the glass shimmer like scattered glitter or gems across the floor.

Seeing no other way around it, I treaded slowly and carefully across the glass. The glass cracked like a layer of ice under my boots, wincing at every crackled as I tried to remain undetected here on this side of the shopping center. Once outside, I scraped the bottom of my shoes a couple times against the pavement to dislodge any imbedded glass. I made my get away back to the car parked just outside the city, abandoning the rest of this run.


I had been successful enough to make it back to the CRV, speeding the fuck way far from Newnan. Putting at least five miles between that town, I pulled over eventually and decided to spend the night parked on the side of the 85. I'd been a little too pretentious about taking that big of a store, a little too eager for the supplies before taking a thorough enough sweep. I should have felt grateful to have made it out of that ambush alive, but instead, all night I tossed and turned in the backseat thinking about all that baby supplies that was still left behind. Those jars probably had a decade old expiration date, and there had still been practically a whole shelf full. And those boxes of diapers I couldn't manage to take in just my bag. They were all that troubled my thoughts as I tried to sleep and I spent the night conniving ways I could possibly go back and collect the rest. If I could draw their attention to the opposite end of the shopping center, I could buy myself enough time to grab the rest. I could maybe even approach using the theater entrance instead.

The next day, I had gotten little sleep, but was none-the-less restless to leave and collect the rest from Newnan's Target. Preparing for the day, I sadly rid of my boots that had taken its last beating from the glass the day before and replaced them with a pair of navy-colored Converse. Brushing out my hair, I tied it into a small ponytail gathered together in the back, a few outgrown bangs that didn't reach the hair-tie yet tucked behind my ears to keep out from my eyes. As soon as I got back I had already changed from the Subway shirt into a camisole. It wasn't as dreary and wet this morning, but I shrugged on Todd's jacket anyways, knowing the spaghetti-strap was much too tight-fitted. I brushed my teeth before having a light breakfast consisting of poptarts, washing it down with a swig of water and one of the prenatal vitamins.

I drove back to Newnan, this time taking the car further into town. Driving through the abandoned town, it didn't take long for me to find the shopping center, cautiously rolling up in anticipation to I could be coming back to. If it had become too Biter infested, I would just have to suck up my pride and move on. To my surprise, the place looked just as vacant as yesterday, but I had yet to see the other side where the Target was located and would not let myself be caught unaware this time. Pulling up closer to the movie theater, I decided to take a peek at the Target entrance first to see what state it was left it. As I pulled up around the parking lot, I braked harshly at the sight of the front; dozens of Biters crowded the entrance, and a lot were banging up against the closed doors. I felt deflated and knew this would be a suicide run if I attempted it. I had spent a month just preparing the large sweep of the last shopping center, and that was back when I still had my bow and an uninjured shoulder. I could've punched the steering wheel in frustration if I didn't fear hitting the horn, and instead took a few calming breaths before relenting to turn the car back around. Making a u-turn, I drove back the way I came and tried to convince myself it wasn't worth risking it all for a few more cans of formula. While keeping a look out around the parking lot, my eyes roamed over a motorcycle parked a few yards closer towards the Petsmart, something I had missed on my first drive around. Narrowing my gaze, I couldn't recall seeing the bike the other day and instantly felt a prickle of suspicion. I still didn't see anything around, Biter or anyone living, so I braved pulling up to roll my window down to get a closer look. It was definitely large, its gorilla-handles almost reaching higher than above my own steering wheel. Examining the dark paint, the bike was definitely dusted up with traces of dirt and debris covering both front and back tires. I squinted towards where one would put the key to start the ignition and arched my brow as I made out the little designs on the frame decorated with SS bolts. Charming. I would have no doubt noticed this motorcycle the day before, and come to think of it, the green Hyundai parked very close beside it didn't look familiar either.

Leaning back in my seat, I huffed irritably at the signs of others finding this place. I could possibly come back another day, but if these people wiped out the baby section, the risk back would be pointless. Gripping the steering wheel tighter in frustration, I threw the bike another grimace before I found my attention catch a certain bright wool poncho that was folded up over the bike's saddlebags hanging off the rear.

I recognized that obnoxious thing. We had to take Daryl's bike here. Remembering the rev of the engine that followed the two strangers departures, I couldn't help but recognize the pieces fit together who's motorcycle this could be.

With my windows still rolled down, I could hear the yowls from across the shopping center and could only guess where these people were.

"Damn, those guys're trapped," I muttered. At this point, I could easily keep driving and get the fuck out while I had the chance with that many Biters distracted. But as I willed my foot pick up off the brake and floor it far from here, I couldn't help but feel like the most despicable douchebag if I just left those people here. If they even did manage to find that emergency exit, I had closed that theater door, leaving any other escape obsolete. I'd be no better than the asshole who left me to the Biters.


So hopefully this was a faster update to your liking! I hope I can steadily start improving, hahah. I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter. I think I love cliff-hangers a little too much. Might I also add, I'm sooooo super stoked now that season 4 started. I can't help but rant, so if you haven't watched 30 Days Without An Accident, skip this part.

SPOILERS

I was totally in love with the way Daryl's role has completely changed, but his reluctance for the love is utter-fucking-adorable. I can't wait to see the new one this weekend, aahhh! I have to admit, my favorite part was when Zach guesses what Daryl did before the turn, and for a bit I was hopeful maybe every episode he'd make a guess- but I guess that idea was squashed pretty fast, lmao. Just seeing the first episode, I totally want to continue CTF passed season 3.

Rant Over

Super-huge appreciation to those of you who review, follow, and favorite. Yay! I've got a little over 100 reviews for this story and I can't thank you all enough for your support. Especially the guests that take the time to show their love. If anyone else wants to nerd out about the new season, feel free the message me. And also, I also put up a little photo manipulation of how far along Olive would be at this point if anyone is interested to take a look its up on my profile.

Thank again and hope to hear your thoughts! The song is one of my personal favorites, Try Not To Breathe by R.E.M. And the beautiful Billie Holliday song is You Go To My Head.

xoxo