Chapter 12
The sun was already reasonably high in the sky when Guinevere shook Arthur to wake him up.
She had been awake for a little while and had been pleased to find Arthur asleep, knowing nothing of his nocturnal wanderings. Although her loss had been great, and her immense grief constantly threatened to overwhelm her, it had not made her oblivious to Arthur's pain, and it had added to her grief to see the one she loved more than any other trying, in his time of weakness, to still bear upon his shoulders the weight of the responsibility of the kingdom, and she could see how it was almost crushing him. He would not speak of it, however, insisting all the time that her need was greater than his, but she couldn't help noticing how, as each day went by, the dark shadows under his eyes became more pronounced and his weariness seemed to increase. She shook him again, and he gradually came awake, yawning and stretching as he did. It was a moment she knew so well - that tiny moment when she first awoke, when all seemed normal, until the memory of the nightmare they were in came flooding back and all joy at the new day was extinguished.
Arthur, as soon as he saw his wife, remembered all that had happened, and remembered immediately all that had been spoken of the previous evening, of which Guinevere still knew nothing, and he had to quickly turn away from Gwen as his heart broke afresh. He suddenly also noticed how light it was in the room, and asked in a tone that was considerably sharper than he'd intended, "Where on earth is Merlin?" But the answer to his own question seemed obvious to him: Merlin had clearly overslept, as he himself had done, due to both of them being up for a considerable portion of the night.
Arthur jumped out of the bed rapidly, and pulled on the shirt that he had discarded late the previous evening after the knighting ceremony. Guinevere's influence at least meant that it was hanging over the back of a chair, rather than lying crumpled on the floor as it would have done previously. Arthur stuck his head outside the door and ordered the guards to fetch Merlin immediately, and Gwen was saddened to hear the anger in Arthur's tone creep in so quickly that morning.
When neither Merlin nor breakfast had appeared a quarter of an hour later, Arthur dressed himself, clearly by now in a very bad mood, and strode out of his quarters towards the council chambers, sending orders for Rowena to bring breakfast for Gwen to their room. By the time Arthur got to the Round Table for their regular meeting, it was clear that everyone had been waiting for him for a considerable time. No one was seated yet, but everyone was standing around talking in groups. Arthur called for a goblet of water for himself from a servant, and then immediately went over to Gaius. "Can you explain to me why my good for nothing servant is still in bed at this time of the morning?" Gaius noticed the lack of any humour in Arthur's question.
"In bed, my Lord? He certainly isn't there. I'd assumed that he was already with you when I found his bed empty this morning."
Arthur was too occupied at that point with being late for the Council to think any more about the whereabouts of Merlin. He turned away from Gaius, took the goblet of water that was given to him, and went to take his seat at the table, the cue for all the other Council members to do the same. It was only when they were all seated that the unoccupied place at the table became obvious.
"Where's Elyan?"
It was Percival, unaware of Arthur's exchange with Gaius, who answered the king's question.
"I couldn't find him this morning, Sire. When I asked around, the guards at the gate told me he'd ridden out at first light with Merlin. I assumed they must be going somewhere at your command." Arthur stared at Percival for several moments, wondering what on earth they were doing that was so urgent or important that it required them to blatantly ignore their duties and not request his permission to do so. And then the penny dropped.
The force with which Arthur slammed his goblet down on the table stunned everyone in the room.
"Damn him!"
Arthur turned an accusing look on Gaius. "And did you encourage him to do this, Gaius?"
"I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about, your majesty".
"I'm talking about the fact that my servant and one of my knights are, as we talk, riding towards the border with Lot's kingdom with the intention of crossing that border in direct defiance of my command".
A murmur of shock went around the table, but the expressions on the faces of some there clearly showed that not everyone believed what Arthur was telling them.
Leon spoke up, "But that would be a suicide mission….."
"Exactly"
The anger in his voice was abundantly clear, but his response still left everyone at the table utterly mystified at what they were hearing, apart from Gaius who had by now also realised the reasons for Merlin's actions.
One of the older Council members asked the question that was on everybody's mind, "Why on earth would they even think of doing that, my Lord?"
Arthur's eyes were blazing by the time he said the next words: "To force my hand".
Arthur remembered all too well Merlin's questions from the night before, getting him to admit that he would cross the border if lives were at stake. And Merlin had chosen to put not only his own life at stake but Elyan's too. Arthur didn't think for one moment that Elyan had gone anything other than willingly and in full knowledge of why they were going. He would have been easy to persuade to be part of Merlin's plan, because Guinevere was his sister and he would do anything for her, and he would believe, with Merlin's reasoning, that he was also acting for the king. Arthur was furious at being forced into a particular course of action by his servant, and even more so at the prospect of being forced to break his word. But there was also, for another reason, a far greater anger burning inside him.
"I'm going to kill him!"
There were those in the Council who, by the tone of Arthur's voice, thought that that was exactly what he was going to do. Arthur rose from the table without a further word to the Council, leaving all of them still mystified as to what was going on. He swiftly issued instructions to his knights so that they could depart within the half hour, and strode towards the door. But before he could leave, he was stopped by an encounter with Gaius.
"May I ask, Sire, what you are actually going to do?"
"If I catch up with them before they've crossed the border, I'll stop them and they'll both find themselves in the dungeon before nightfall.
"And if they've crossed into Lot's kingdom?"
Arthur had been looking Gaius in the eyes, but suddenly looked away. In his blind anger he had temporarily forgotten until that moment the recent event that lay behind everything that was happening. And he walked abruptly out of the council chambers, leaving Gaius' question unanswered.
Arthur returned to see Guinevere before he departed, although not before stopping Leon with a further request along the way. Arthur buried his anger as he had done with his grief, before going in to say goodbye to his wife.
"Guinevere, my love, I have to leave for a few days".
"Where are you going?"
"We need to make a visit to one of the neighbouring kingdoms, but we won't be gone long"
Gwen, who knew Arthur too well by now, could see that he wasn't telling her the full story, and knew he was trying not to worry her.
"You're going somewhere dangerous, aren't you?"
"We'll be fine. Don't worry"
But Arthur's assurances did nothing to quell her anxiety and she began to beg him not to go, with the words "I can't lose you as well, Arthur!"
It broke Arthur's heart yet again to see his wife beginning to cry, and he wrapped his arms around her and held her close for a few moments. As he laid his head upon hers he simply said, "I have to go."
When she was able to look up at him once again, he continued.
"I've arranged for Lady Clare to stay with you whilst I'm gone. She'll have a bed in here, so you won't need to be alone at all"
Clare was Leon's sister, and Gwen had known her all her life, as they'd practically grown up together when Gwen's mother served in their house. Clare was sweet-natured, and had become a good and close friend to Gwen since she had become queen, and had been officially made a lady in waiting, a position within the Court that had not existed since the time of Ygraine. Gwen and Clare had shared many happy times together when Arthur was taken up with court affairs, and he knew she and Rowena together would take good care of his wife whilst he was gone.
But as Gwen looked at her husband's face, she could tell that there was something Arthur was hiding.
"What are you not telling me, Arthur?"
Arthur hesitated, but then asked her, "Do you trust me?"
Guinevere didn't answer, but simply gave a little nod, not taking her eyes off him. And for once, she couldn't read his expression. He simply said, "There's something I need to put right".
And with that, he kissed her again on the forehead, and walked over to the door and out.
But he found Gaius waiting for him in the corridor, with a small scrappy piece of parchment in his hand.
"I thought you might want to see this, Sire"
"What is it?"
Gaius didn't answer but simply handed the scrap of parchment to him. Arthur took a quick look at it, and could immediately see that it was notes that Merlin had made about the route to the Vale of Ishatar. And both Gaius and Arthur knew that he'd left it where it could be found so that Arthur could follow him. It didn't make the king any less hostile towards his servant, however – if anything the opposite, knowing that Merlin was manipulating his every step. And when Arthur said to Gaius as he left him, "You'd better pray that I have some mercy left in me when I find him", the physician knew that Arthur was being deadly serious.
