So this worthless author actually managed to put out a chapter a month. Or something so. I've actually sustained this (kinda) constantly over an entire year. Either way, time to seal the deal with the twelfth instalment.
Chapter 12: Myself
From since the man appeared, Tayuya's head was on overdrive. She gave quick glances around, making sure he couldn't have spotted Ryouhei or anything else he wasn't supposed to. However, two lines did anything but make it better.
"I need to speak to you. Privately."
For a moment, the girl's head went blank. In fact, everyone stopped and watched, waiting for the girl's reaction.
Her mind went off in a thousand directions, all kinds of thoughts coming to her head. Did he see Ryouhei? Or was he going to talk to her about when she sneaked out? What if he always knew that she sneaked out, was she going to be blackmailed? Or maybe it's just some pervert, trying to get a fast job or something? What if he didn't take no for an answer? He could have free feign, seeing that Orochimaru didn't care for her any more. Or what if he just wanted her dead, wanted to see her lifeless body lying in some pool of blood decaying for the worms and bugs to enjoy.
Get a grip! She reigned in her thoughts. Trying to pull herself together, she gave the man a nod, following him around a few corners. I need to at least know what he's talking about first before I can jump to conclusions.
The two walked a few corners away, making sure that they were out of earshot from them. The man stopped, turning to face Tayuya after making one final check.
"We're alone. Spit it out already." She folded her arms, her impatience getting the best of her. The feeling was tearing her apart, the feeling of her mind going in all directions while knowing it wasn't going anywhere. She needed something, anything to work with.
Even with Tayuya's added urging, the man still hesitated. An odd look filled the eyes which pierced through the mask. "… I know…"
The redhead gasped involuntarily. Her subconscious self yelled, the feeling to smash something filling up her body. Shit. But, know what? I need to find out! "I don't know what you're talking about."
He glanced at her, continuing. "…I saw you. I saw you when you snuck out."
The girl's fists balled as he said that. Her mind was already starting to work. They were alone. He made sure that they were. Did that mean that she would have to…
"I saw the way you looked around, taking mental notes." He continued, going through the girl's oncoming distress. "Even though you weren't alone, you took too long for someone just trying to remember. You were doing… more."
The girl couldn't look at the man anymore. What was he going to do? And if she was going to have to go all the way… Could she? Would she really be able to do whatever it takes to keep him quiet? Even if it meant… forever? Her heart rate increased, her palms became sweaty and her stomach began to churn. The room itself seemed to start spinning, her confidence crumbling.
"I don't know what you have on your mind, or even why you snuck out… All I know is…" He reached up to his face, the girl's body tensed as she saw his body move. Maybe he was going to activate a kekkei genkai. A doujutsu?
He pulled back his mask, his black hair coming free from its binds. Some of it fell in front of his face, blocking one of his eyes. "I want in."
Instantly, the redhead's heart cooled. Her stomach slowed down as relief washed over her. He wasn't hostile. The man who was wearing a guard uniform wasn't hostile.
Guard uniform?
Her body tensed once more, one single thought coming to her mind. Lies.
"I still don't know what you're talking about."
The man grunted, a look of dissatisfaction on his face. "You don't believe me, huh? I can't blame you. After all, the only thing this place teaches you is to not trust anyone."
Can't disagree with that. Tayuya commented mentally. But still, he can't honestly expect me to welcome him with open arms.
The man balled one of his fists, looking down at it. "Also, guards are supposed to be the most loyal, so this must obviously be a trap. Something to finally catch the delinquent ones and get rid of them. It's just that…" He raised his fist, his eyes closing. "I don't know if I'm going insane or just getting paranoid, but I know you were up to something more than just covering your own hide."
The girl's eyes widened a bit. Why… Is this affecting me? I feel like I shouldn't believe a damn word… So… Why do I also feel like I should believe? "Try making some sense. I… don't have a clue to what you're talking about."
"I can't take this anymore." He growled, swinging his fist into the wall. "I can't stand this way of life anymore. Watching people walk through the gates, walking straight into hell while all I do is stand by. Taking the glares, the stares, the fear filled glances while all just looking on like some kind of viewer." One of his hands ran through his head. "I feel sickened with myself, for doing nothing! I feel like I should have done something, like I'm the one bringing them down into hell!"
"So why not just run?" The girl said without thinking. The words seemed to have a mind of their own, and their mind wanted to hear his answer.
"Are you insane? Run? RUN? And what would that do? What would that solve? I'd just be dodging, trying to escape the fact that I've already cast my dice and the wound still bleeding! I have to do something, I can't just sit back and let this continue!" He stepped closer, grabbing the girl's shoulders. "But you are too. You want to do something, I can feel it! I don't care if I die, I don't care if no one remembers me! As long as I can do something about this cycle, the never ending cycle of pain, death and misery can end or at least slow it down, I would have done something!"
The girl stayed motionless for a couple of seconds, her head facing down.
"So, I want in."
Tayuya remained silent, her eyes still glued to the floor. The air around them began to get thick and tense, as the man waited for the girl's response.
"You keep saying you want in…" She started, raising her head. "But I have no idea what you're talking about." She gazed coldly at the man, before pushing his arms aside. She continued talking as she walked back to the others. "And next time you want to talk to me, make sure that you make damn sense."
Silence greeted the redhead as she rounded the corner to meet Sasuke and Akhito. She already knew why they were silent, though she doubted that –
"What did he have to say?" Sasuke suddenly spoke, the cat poking its head from behind his legs.
Nevermind. "Don't worry, nothing important. You know this place has its share of crackheads." She waved him off, turning her attention to Ryouhei. She opted instead to try and get the cat's attention, motioning for it to come.
However, it only went behind the boy's legs.
"Looks like he doesn't really like you." Akhito chuckled as the cat moved from the girl. "Or maybe he just finds Tayuya-chan to be scarier than Sasuke-san."
The girl's head spun to face him. "Sh-Shut up! He'll warm up eventually." She turned back to Sasuke. "Duckass, pick him up and let's get out of here. I don't want the snake making another appearance."
"Why don't you take him?" Akhito teased.
"I said shut up!" She yelled at the boy, her face beginning to flush in embarrassment. "Come on!"
She rushed, grabbing the black haired boy's arm as soon as he had the cat in one hand, and dragging them along the way to their room.
"You know, I have my own two feet to walk on." The boy commented as she pulled him along.
"Shut up."
Even Tayuya has her stupid moments. Her rational mind takes a while to work sometimes, which was more often than not when she was younger, so she has quite a list behind her. They range from all kinds of things, from things which are kind of understandable to things which make you want to slap her. But, this trumps almost all.
"Shit!" The girl flinched, flying off the bed and crashing onto the floor. "What the hell was I thinking? Bringing a cat!"
Or, at least in her book anyway.
The cat sat on the bed, looking innocently at her as she cursed audibly. She scowled, pointing her finger at it. "Don't give me that look! You know what you did! Now cut it out!"
The cat only licked its paw in response. Getting up, the girl got back onto the bed, pulling her cover over her body. She gave the cat one final, stern look before closing her eyes and beginning to nod off. And off. And… off…
"Nyaa…"
"Grahhh!" The girl flew out of bed once more, clenching her stomach. "Stop freaking doing that!" The cat sat on the bed, casually licking its paw. "And don't give me that look! You know you're not innocent!" It continued to ignore her, instead focusing more on the itch behind its ear. The girl growled at it, her fists clenching. Suddenly, an idea came to her head. "You know what, if you want to scratch so much…" She whispered, picking the cat up. "Why don't we get you a scratching post?" She crept over to Sasuke's bed, gently placing the cat on his stomach.
He flinched, the redhead freezing as she saw the movement. A sigh escaped her lips as she saw him scratch his arm before falling back to stillness. A smile crept across the girl's face as she stepped away.
Now all I have to do is wait for the fireworks. She thought as she slipped back into her bed. She pulled her sheet over her body once more, this time turning to get the perfect view.
"What the hell?" She said once she turned over. Instead of a boy leaping off the bed, yelling obscenities, it was the exact opposite. He was the exact way she left him, silently sleeping, with the only movement being the rhythmic rise and fall of his chest. This time, he wasn't the only one sleeping. Ryouhei rested in his stomach, curled up into a small ball.
"It really doesn't like me…" She turned around, pulling the covers tighter. "… Fine…! See if I care…"
Darkness.
The sanctuary he used to thrive in. Used to. These days, he was straying more and more, his mind starting to wonder. Wonder back to the light. The longer he stayed, the more his choice weighed on him. If Darkness was the only way to gain the power he needed, why was she running from it? Was it really that bad?
He walked down the road, a 'dream' he had been having for a while now. All that was visible was the path. Apart from that, darkness shrouded everything. There was nothing in the void except for the path, no sound, no other land, no one else. Just the void.
"… Why am I walking…? Isn't this the darkness I came to?" He mumbled to himself, still walking none the less. His head turned, looking into the void. "Isn't this what I wanted…?"
However, his questions fell of deaf ears. All that replied to him was silence. Where was everyone before, who was telling him what to do? Where were the strong urges, pulling him in the direction? Yes, the curse mark still pulled, but not as much as before.
Despite his questions, he still walked. And that's all he did in the dream. Just walk and question. That was the agonizing part.
"When will this end…?" He began talking as he walked. "When will you just give me a sign…? When will you order me around like you always to, pointing out the way? Are you just going to stop here?"
Not even an echo replied.
His blood began to boil as the dream continued, his emotions running wild. "You won't say anything?" He stopped walking, turning towards the void. "All my life you've been leading me, and you abandon me now?" His foot rose, moving towards the void. "Well I don't need you! I can make my own path!"
Suddenly, he froze. Could he really make his own path? He looked at his foot, frozen, mid-air over the void. Was this really the best decision? What if he waited longer, what if it was just taking some time…
"What the hell!" He yelled, stepping back onto the path. "Damn it, I'm even starting to talk like her. She rubbed off on me…"
Why was it so hard? All he had to do was take one step, just one. From there, it was simple. But… that one step…
He looked up at the darkness, letting out a growl before continuing down that path. "Fine, I'll give you a little longer…"
Bam!
Slight pain rocked his side, slapping him out of his sleep. His senses came awake automatically, his eyes adjusting and his muscles flexing.
"Rise and shine duckass!" The girl was standing on his bed, one of her feet extended. A huge smile painted her face, obviously pleased with her work.
The boy shot a glare at her, turning the girl's smile to a full blown grin.
"What's wrong honey? Did I wake you up from a good dream?" She taunted, leaning closer. "Oh, I'm so sorry."
If only it were good. He thought, getting up. Then again, should I really be mad or thankful…?
"Now come on, we have to take Ryouhei for a walk." She rose her hand, the cat hanging by its tail.
"We?" He said, raising an eyebrow.
"Yes, we. Since we decided to bring him back." She said, holding the cat's tail a bit tighter. "Got a problem with that duckass?"
He opened his mouth to protest, but simply closed it and shook his head. "Fine."
The girl's reaction was exactly the opposite of what he expected. Instead of laughing, her face changed to a more serious on. She leaned in, her eyes narrowing on his face. "… You… ok…? Your face looks kind of weird."
The boy scowled in response.
"For once, I'm not insulting you." The girl said, still serious. "You look kind of red. Plus, unless your dream was really exciting, I don't think that amount of sweat is normal after sleeping."
Sasuke's eyes widened, his hand running over his forehead. True enough, his head was soaked. He stared at his hand for a few seconds, before looking back up at the girl. "I'm fine."
"You know, I sleep right over there. You could have just asked."
The boy's cheeks flashed red, before his head turned to hide it. "… Let's go…"
"Nyaa!"
The boy's hands moved without him even knowing why. Moment's after they did, the cat landed in his arms, quickly climbing up his arm and onto his shoulder.
"You're in charge of him." She said, beginning to walk towards to the door. "After all, you're his favourite."
The trio walked through the halls, the girl keeping an ear open while Sasuke made sure that cat didn't stray too much. They didn't bother trying to have a conversation. He knew she needed her ears free and he wasn't much of the talking type.
"… So… How's training coming along?" Tayuya suddenly spoke, her head facing away from the boy.
His eyebrow rose at the question. "Don't you need to listen for if anyone's coming?"
Her head spun around, her cheeks red in anger. "Just trying to have some small talk!"
"Hn."
Bam!
"Human language, duckass!" She yelled, slamming her fist into his arm.
He held his arm, slightly inching away from the girl. When'd she learn to hit like that…? "Whatever."
She folded her arms, turning away from the boy as they walked.
"… Alright."
The girl glanced at the boy after his comment. Now he was the one looking away, his eyes going down a random corridor.
"… When are you… going to play for me again?"
"I don't know… Whenever I have the-," She stopped, realizing what he said. Her feet turned her around to face him. "Play for you? I wasn't playing for you! You just happened to be there!"
"Call it what you want."
She growled at him, moving closer to him. "I'm not calling it anything! You think I'd waste my time and effort just to play for your ass? You're not even worth throwing my shoes on after a long hard day!"
He shrugged, shoving his hands in his pocket. She grunted, fuming as she turned away from him.
A smirk came onto the boy's face after the talk, the silence afterwards being a lot more bearable.
Suddenly, things got a little weird. His head began to get a bit light, his legs getting harder and harder to move. The walls seemed to move, serving in and moving out. Oh wait…
Bam!
…
…
… "Duck…"
…
…
… "Duckass…"
…
…
"Sasuke!"
"…Uh…" Slowly crept out of the boy's mouth. His world slowly returned, the walls of his room pouring into his eyes. His feeling came next. He could feel that he was on his bed, but that ran to the backburner once all his feeling came back.
Heat.
His body felt on fire. He could almost feel his skin burning, melting off his muscle. It was as if Katon justu were being used underneath his skin, each one exploding with incredible heat but nowhere near enough force for the user to be satisfied. Without even noticing it, his breathing became laboured. His face was covered in sweat once more, causing the girl's face to darken.
"Whoa… You look like shit…" She muttered to herself, placing a hand on his forehead. "This is not good… Maybe I should call the mophead, he's learning medicine…"
"I'm… ok…" The boy struggled to mutter the sentence.
The girl rushed over, placing a hand on the boy's chest. "No you're not. Something's happening to you."
"I said… I'm fine."
The girl growled, her hand tightening to a fist. "Quit being so stubborn! You need some kind of attention!"
"All I need… is a bath." He said adamantly, slowly beginning to climb out of the bed. He was met with resistance, the girl's hands pushing him back.
"Just rest for now. I'll get help."
"I don't -,"
"JUST SIT YOUR ASS DOWN AND DON'T MOVE!" She yelled, before getting up and leaving the room.
Sasuke lied down, staring at door in a mixture of disbelief and amusement. Was she challenging him?
He smirked, absentmindedly looking around before struggling to get off the bed. Damn… My head feels like a pack of bricks… He ignored the seemingly added pressure on his legs as he strolled to the bathroom.
Shoving the bathroom door open, he flew off his shirt and pants and slowly made his way into the shower.
This is all I need… Something to wake me up before I go to train… He told himself as he turned the handle, letting the hot water rain onto his body. At first it stung, his body flinching on impulse but the heat quickly turned pleasurable. The only problem was that his head still felt like cra—bad.
Not hot enough… He thought, turning the heat up even more. The stinging feeling came again, this time stronger and longer before fading away to the pleasure. However, the problem still didn't go away. It'll take a little longer to work.
He stood under the water, his arm resting on the wall for support. By now, the glass was starting to fog, steam filling the small area. The hot vapour flowed up his nose, sending warm waves pulsing through his body. However, he still felt more than off.
"Damn it, what's wrong with me…?" He growled, his hand coming up to his face.
"What's right with you?"
The boy's eyes widened as the voice spoke, his body stiffening, even afraid at what might happen next. Fighting with his own body, he turned his head, his eyes never returning to their normal size.
"T-Tou-san…" He muttered, looking directly at the glass.
In it was the image of his father, standing tall with the same, disappointed and stern look on his face he had always seen him with.
"You are the last salvation of our clan, and this is what you do?"
"This is what I do…? Isn't this what you wanted to? Weren't the scrolls in the clan meeting room yours? Weren't you the one who spoke about avenging the clan and my fate being an avenger?"
"You're the one wasting time. How do you expect to kill your brother and avenge the clan like that? Do you want the clan to be looked down on forever?"
The boy remained silent for a few moments, looking away from his father. "… The clan this, your brother that…" He looked up, rage starting to fill his eyes. "For my whole life, that's all I've ever heard you talk about! Your clan or your first son, if not that then you're not saying anything at all!"
"What is there to say to you? You know your role. Do you think your life is more important than the entire clan?"
The boy's hand curled into a fist, his arm beginning to tremble. "You fool! Don't you see what your greed has led to? I am the clan! You were trying so hard to return the clan to its greatness that your own son killed you and the entire clan!"
A frown painted his father's face, something he was used to seeing. "I am the fool? I am Fugaku Uchiha, your father! You dare even consider saying that to me?"
"Father? I wouldn't know, since you've only spoken to me like one once!" He yelled back. "If you weren't trying to restore your clan back to its former 'greatness' so much, maybe you would have noticed your own son trying to kill you!"
"Enough! You are the scapegoat for the clan! It is not in your right to think, just to act. All you need to focus on is gaining the power and killing the traitor. Nothing else, not even the means matters."
"I thought you wanted to bring the clan back up to its rightful place. If so, how do you expect the rest of the world to take us seriously if we only do things to make them look down on us!"
"Boy, do as you're told. The rest of the world will have no choice but to fall underneath us."
"Fall underneath us…?" The boy's mind went back. Images of his past with Team Seven, the training, the near impossible missions, his defection… "That is… A load of crap!"
"What?"
"Do you think the rest of the world will just bow down? Do you think that they'll just agree to whatever madness you plan for me to do? They won't allow it. They'll rise up, they'll do something!"
"Do you think they can stand up to the power of the Sharingan? We are the strongest clan in the entire world!"
"What do you think we are, Gods? Anyone can lose! Jutsu does not make you strong!"
"Enough! You are just a child dreaming! It's time for you wake up and accept your fate!"
"Accept my fate? That's all I've been doing! Living in someone's shadow, following others orders, living someone else's dreams… I don't even have dreams of my own anymore! All I do is think what everyone else wants me too!"
"Child, I will not stand for this insolence! You will fulfil the wishes of the clan, you will avenge us!"
He looked away from the glass, his fists clenching tightly. "… And if I refuse…?"
"Then begone! You are no son of mine, you are no Uchiha. You've caused the clan far too much disgrace as is."
The boy's teeth grinded and his hand moved to the closest moveable object. It happened to be the bar of soap. His fingers gripped it tightly as he spun around, his arm pulling back for the throw.
But nothing was there.
Only fog covered the glass of the shower, almost to the point of it being impossible to see through it. He froze mid-swing, his grip on the soap loosening.
"… You moved."
He looked, though he didn't need to, to see a red blur. The girl stood, one of her arms on her hip and the other on the door. Her expression was nothing but a blur, though he already what it was. Pissed.
"… I told you, all I needed was a shower."
"Kami, you're so damn stubborn! I swear, you win staring contests with paintings!" She growled, throwing her arms into the air as she stepped into the bathroom. "You say all you need is a shower, fine! Take your damn shower! Die for all I care!" She walked over to a wall, crossing her arms and looking away.
Sasuke let out a sigh, dropping the soap and resting his back on the wall. He slowly let himself fall onto the floor, one hand coming up to hold his head. All the while, his head was racing.
Begone… Not an Uchiha…? Then should I just follow him…? If I'm not an Uchiha, then what am I? Nothing? His hand tightened, more questions rushing through his head.
"… Tayuya…" He muttered, calling the girl's attention. "… Who… am I…?"
Her arms dropped, her jaw opening slightly in shock. They quickly came back up, her head turning away once more. "Why in all the idiotic…"
"I'm freaking serious!" He cut into her rant, his voice a lot sharp and stronger than she ever heard him before.
She stared at him for a few seconds, lowering her hands but pushing them in her pockets. "What kind of baka are you?"
A growl escaped the shower. "I—."
"Why are you asking me who you are?" She cut in, pulling one of her hands out and pointing at the boy. "You are the one living your life! You are the only one who has to deal with the consequences! Why the hell should anyone else tell you who to be?" She pushed off the wall, moving closer the shower. "Be yourself! So quit asking everybody else, quit taking everyone else's ideas for your own. You have your own brain, use it!"
Be… myself…? The boy thought, looking down at the shower floor. But what really is… myself…? "Then… who are you?"
Her hand dropped, her cheeks turning a bit pink at the question. She turned, scratching the back of her head. "I'm still working on that… But that's not the point! I'm on my own road. When are you going to find yours?"
On that note the girl walked out of the bathroom, leaving the boy to his thoughts.
My own road… My own way… He thought, still gazing at the floor. Can I find it…? Should I find it…?
Damn it, computer's giving more stress than ever. The feeling to throw it off the highest point I can find has never been so strong. Also, I'm on a quest to play every Final Fantasy game I can. I've beaten I, II, IV, V and now I'm on VI. Unfortunately, I've been playing way too much and now hear bgm all the time in my head. But, enough about my problems. The chapter! Your thoughts?
And merry Christmas. To those of you who celebrate it of course.
