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CHAPTER 12


~Sakura~

I was actually going to go out! I was so excited! I missed feeling the autumn breeze rustling my hair into pink waves in the air, the sun rays on my face, the sweet scent of the woods and flowers all combined to create a natural perfume…

As soon as we finished eating I asked Sasuke if we could go out and he agreed. Immediately after he opened the door I stepped outside. It was a sunny day, with a few clouds in the sky. It wasn't hot, considering it was autumn it was normal, and a soft warm breeze made the grass move, a green ocean. It was the type of days I considered perfect.

I lifted my head so that my face could get soaked with sunlight and started walking forward, with no particular direction.

I sighed. "I've missed being outside."

"Yeah, the hideout can be really depressing, all the dark…" Sasuke replied from behind me.

"Yeah…" I said.

"Come, I know a nice place around here, it looks especially beautiful at this time of the year, I bet you'll love it." Sasuke offered.

"Ok, lead the way."

I stopped walking so that he could lead me to that place. I was so happy all my problems disappeared. Like they had never existed, no worries, no fears, no nothing. But it only lasted until we arrived to the place he had mentioned.

"Wow…it's… so beautiful, so peaceful." I said amazed.

"Yes, this is where I usually come to when I need time alone, you know, to think clearly and all that." He said but I wasn't really listening, I was lost in the place's ethereal beauty.

It was a small lea; the trees' branches around it seemed to have the necessity to hide this place. They had grown longer, their long shadows only allowing sunlight in patches and at the very center of the meadow. In the north path of it, a small spring was located. Its water –which showed no reference of where it came- fell into a small lake with crystalline water, so clear it could almost pass unnoticed. Grass with patches of lavender flowers covered the floor. The scent was so sweet, pure, the water, the flowers, the sunlight, it all made a strange odor that made you feel calmed.

I walked to the edge of the lake. I lowered my gaze to the water, paying close attention to the iridescent rocks at the bottom when something caught my attention. As I saw my reflection in the water it all came back to me. I was suddenly brought back to reality like I had been sleeping or unconscious. I remembered everything: how I was betraying my village by wearing this uniform, how I was trapped, not able to go back, how I had been all happy and cheerful when Naruto was probably sad and afraid, not knowing what could happen to him. And worst: how I couldn't do anything to change all of this.

I felt sick with rage to myself for wearing proudly this uniform to have actually thought it had looked good on me. I didn't want to see my face. In desperation, I grabbed the first rock I saw and threw it, with as much force as I could, to the water, so that it would erase my reflection. As I turned my back to it I pulled up my hood. No one could see me wearing this clothes and my pink hair wouldn't help me stay undiscovered.

When I turned Sasuke started asking me something but when he saw my broken expression he changed it. "Have you been so sun deprived you have to wear a hood for it now?" he asked kinda jokingly. But I knew that he's real question was "Are you ok?"

I sighed. "You know there is a reason why I love and hate my hair, and it's the same for both accounts. I love it because it stands out. I mean, how many girls have you seen with pink hair anyway?" He smiled at my last remark. "However, I hate it for that reason as well; I can be found immediately because of it. And right now that is not a risk I can take. Even if the person who would spot me was from another village, they would give me in." I said finishing my explanation, thought it didn't make me feel any better.

"You know, you should trust me more, I wouldn't let anyone hurt you. Well, it happened once, but it won't happen again." He said, surprising me. That brought us back to our dilemma.

"You know, this reminds me, you said you were-"

"Going to explain my behavior? I know." He said interrupting me but finishing my sentence.

"And… will you?" I asked shyly, not really meaning to pry.

"Doubt is killing you right?" he said mischievously.

"Of course it is." I said laughing.

"Well… ok, if you are so curious about it I'll let you know." He finally said.


~Sasuke~

Ok this was going to be tough. I sucked at explaining or expressing any feeling. But I'll make and effort for her.

"You remember which was my goal in life, right?" I started.

"Of course, you wanted to avenge and restore your clan by killing your brother." She recited. I smiled sadly, such a long time had passed and she still remembers.

"Yes, well… I finally completed my goal." I said cautiously, watching her reaction.

"You – You killed Itachi?" She stuttered.

I instantly regretted telling her, she looked shocked, alarmed, and slightly afraid. However, I also saw concern and understanding. And that helped me continue.

"Yes… but… I really regret it…" I said and looked down, ashamed, remembering the fight and everything I learned from Madara after it.

I suddenly felt a soft, delicate, and cool hand on my cheek. I looked up and saw Sakura there. Her touch now felt like flames to me on my skin.

"It's okay, you can tell me all about it, I guess you need to talk, to express your feelings to someone. If you want, I can be that someone." She said softly and smiled.

After all I've done to her; she still treated me with kindness, one I have never deserved.

"I would love for you to be that person." I said honestly.

"Ok then, tell me everything, I assure you, you'll feel better once you get it all out." She said.

"Well, it's a long story you know… let's sit down." I said and motioned with my eyes two big and almost flat rocks in the middle of the meadow. We went and sat down, covered with sunlight.

I told her everything. Well, I didn't explain the fight like step by step, but I included almost everything. How he lived to protect me and still died protecting me, how I had loathed him all my life when I should have loved him like the best brother in the world he had been. How I wished I had heard the truth before killing him, that way we could restore the Uchiha Clan together. Guilt overpowered me and I came back from the memories to reality. I realized tears had risen in my eyes and they were now running down my face. I hated crying, this couldn't get more embarrassing.

Sakura –at the sight of me crying- caught me in an embrace so desperate, you would believe she needed the comfort instead of me, but then I did felt it, I felt comfort, concern, worry, understanding, a thousand emotions passed from her to me in an embrace, all telling me she cared and she understood.

I held her with much more strength, like I was clinging for my life. I knew my hold had to hurt, but she didn't complained, and I needed comfort so much, I selfishly stayed like that breathing in the scent of her.

After a while, when I was more controlled, I stood up. Sakura and I were still holding each other, but not as strongly as before, as the need for comfort had disappeared also our strength. Sakura –who had stood up with me- looked up and cleaned my still remaining tears with her delicate fingers.

"It's okay to cry you know." She said matter-of-factly, like she could read my thoughts. "We all need to cry sometimes, instead of bottling all inside of us. And I've always said that crying doesn't show weakness…"

"Then what does it show?" I asked. My voice sounded funny, great.

"It's a sign that you've been strong for far too long." She said and smiled.

That made sense… in a way, but that didn't make me a crying fan. And I told her that.

"I guess that's true, but I don't think I like crying anyway, sorry."

"It's ok, but still, you explained what you felt after you k-… did that, but I still don't understand. How is this related to your change?" she asked confused.

"Sakura." I said vowing each syllable completely. "I completed my life goal, now I feel empty, useless. I thought I would be happy, because I'd finally avenged my family, the reason of my existence, but now this hollowness. And now? I don't have another goal."

She kept quiet; guess she didn't know what to say, so I continued.

"After that I saw everything differently. I paid attention to everything and everyone. Like I had been blinded of the world before."

"I also realized I had made a lot of mistakes in the past… especially with you…" I said looking away,

"With me?" she asked, a little too loudly because of the surprise of my sincerity.

"Yes, I rejected you so many times, even when you were willing to let it all go for me… that's another thing, I started to pay attention, like really pay attention, to the other's feelings. Something I honestly hadn't done before." I confessed.

I watched her face change from worry to happiness in a second and that alone was enough to make me feel better instantly.