A/N: Here is the final installment for Khalisah's ambushes. I'm sad to see it end; these were a lot of fun to write.

While it may be the end of the "Ambush!" series, there are still plenty of "one-shots" that can be written, so I'm not throwing in the towel yet! Feel free to send me ideas via PM if you have a perspective/story that you want written (obviously pertaining to the theme: Shepard's "scandalous" relationship with Tali). No promises, but it'll help keep things fresh!

Once again, I greatly appreciate all of the reviews, follows, favorites, etc. You guys are what keep me going, so thank you!

This is al-Jilani's final chance to ruin Shepard and Tali's reputation. As time runs out, her desperation grows. Will she succeed? I suppose we'll find out...


-Westerlund News HQ-

"Miss al-Jilani? A word, please."

"Yes sir?"

"I'm going to have to ask you to stop your current story. Westerlund News is quickly losing its credibility. Several sponsors are threatening to pull-out and the hate mail we've been getting would curl your toes. Put simply, we're losing our ass, Khalisah. Now, you're going to have to stop trying to dig-up dirt on Shepard and the quarian – it's simply not working."

"I understand, but it only takes one of Shepard's associates to give me the leverage I need to really sink his reputation. If I had two more days, I know I could get it!"

"You've been at it for three days and have only hurt us. Perhaps permanently. I don't know what the Hell you were thinking by using fake evidence against Mr. Vakarian, but that was a killer! Not only is the Hierarchy royally pissed, but we lost about eighty percent of our turian viewers! And don't even get me started on the quarians' reaction – they don't take kindly to false accusations against their admirals. We almost had a riot of those suit-rats outside our station!"

"I know; rookie mistake. Won't happen again, I swear! But I just know I'm on the cusp of getting the right angle. Just two more days, then I promise to stop."

"Fine, you have one day to get it right. Only because you're one of our best, Khalisah. Don't let me down."

"You can count on me. Shepard and Tali won't be able to show their faces in public when I'm done!"


-Jacob Taylor-

"You there! Yes, you Mr. Taylor!"

"Let me guess, you'd like to ask me a few questions about Shepard and Tali?"

"You've seen our broadcast? Excellent! It's a pleasure to meet you, Mr. Taylor. And yes, I have a few questions."

"Alright, I'll bite. What do you want to know?"

-Camera turns on-

With us now is a former member of Shepard's crew. Now, Mister Taylor, you've seen our broadcast so you know how this works.

(Jacob crosses his arms) Yeah, you ask a bunch of loaded questions to poke at Shepard and Tali's relationship. You're either trying to dig up dirt or get his friends, crew, and associates to embarrass them.

That is a groundless accusation. I don't force anyone to say anything.

Obviously, otherwise you might've actually come out on top for once.

What do you mean by that?

Let's face it: everyone you try to trip-up ends up cleaning the floor with you.

That remains to be seen. Let's try to stay focused: what was your role on the Normandy?

Weapons specialist. Also, Chief of Security. But cut to the chase – I'm curious to see how you'll try to spin Shepard and Tali's thing.

Try to remember that I'm giving the interview. Let me guess, you think that their relationship is the greatest thing since sliced bread?

Hmph. You're losing your touch, Khalisah. But yeah, I guess I think it's pretty cute.

Cute? You think that such... bestiality is cute?

Woah! Careful now – people might think you're desperate. And I stand by what I said. Their love story is like right out of a fairy-tale, if you ask me.

Shepard fell in love with a girl, not even knowing what her face looked like. Didn't matter – he still went for her.

Tali put her heart on the line by revealing her feelings to the ship's captain. Risky move, especially in quarian society.

Then, they upped the stakes by going all-the-way. Tali literally risked her life, and Shepard risked the life of the most important person in the galaxy to him. But they risked it anyway because they loved each other.

Don't you get it? They made an impossible relationship work! Rolled a perfect 20, got a Royal Flush, the coin landed on its side! Know what I'm sayin'?

No, I don't get it. Risking death over some hormones? Explain how that makes sense.

Hey, I ain't denying the risk. I said it was a risky move, probably the biggest risk in her life. But the Priiiize! Yes ma'am, the Prize! I bet Tali was one happy little quarian after that night!

Or one sick little quarian.

Yeah, at first. But she eventually adapted. It's like that stalker lady once said: "love finds a way." I bet if you asked Tali, she'd say it was totally worth it.

I'm sure those would be her exact words.

Got anything else, Khalisah? I'm just getting warmed up! Or is your bark worse than your bite?

I refuse to be insulted in such a manner! This interview is over.


-Flight Lieutenant Jeff "Joker" Moreau and EDI-

Khalisah: "You there! You're the Normandy's pilot, correct?"

Joker: "Another fan! I should really start charging for my auto-prints. I could make a killing!"

Khalisah: "I'm not here for that, 'Joker.'"

Joker: "Hey, no one gets to call me that but the Normandy crew! Except Vega, he's an ass."

EDI: "That is inaccurate. Lieutenant James Vega is identified as homo sapiens not equus africanus asinus."

Joker: "Don't mind her. She's just a simple VI with delusions of grandeur."

EDI: "A human idiom is applicable here, Jeff: you are now 'in the doghouse.'"

Joker: "Damn it! I was joking EDI, I swear!"

EDI: "As was I."

Khalisah: "Eedee? So you're the non-registered crew member!"

-Camera turns on-

Breaking News! The Normandy has an unregistered and illegal Artificial Intelligence unit as a crew member. Lieutenant Moreau, how do you justify using an illegal AI?

Joker: Perfectly legal. She's protected under the "FU" clause in the Official Spectre Handbook.

EDI: Jeff is attempting to say that, as a Council Spectre, Commander Shepard and his associates are protected from the legal restrictions of most citizens.

I wouldn't be so confident. Don't worry, our lawyers will pursue this. In the meantime, the Normandy has other issues that need to be addressed.

EDI: Specify.

As a synthetic, you have a very logical view of reality, correct?

EDI: I try to analyze each situation objectively and proceed accordingly. If it is a moral dilemma, I attempt to do the... right thing.

How do you define what is "right"?

EDI: The Commander has been teaching me morality as understood by organics, that I may better achieve person-hood.

The Commander's morality? Interesting, considering his immoral relationship with a certain mechanic.

Joker: Pfft! As if you're one to judge. I don't think they'll be canonizing you a Saint anytime soon.

I'm not the one sleeping with a quarian. What he is doing is simply wrong!

EDI: Miss al-Jilani, do you have a query, or are you simply going to render judgments based upon biased opinions?

Fine. Input command: tell me everything you know about Shepard's relations with the quarian.

EDI: I do not believe the Commander would like me to divulge his sex life with Tali.

Joker: Yeah, and I'd rather not think about those two doing it!

EDI: Jeff, I am confused. Normally you are quite fascinated with organic reproductive activity. Based upon your extranet history –

Joker: Shhhzzzh-Sush! Not in front of the cameras! I meant between those two: the Commander and Tali.

EDI: Then I will cease downloading the footage of their most recent sexual activates to your personal computer.

Joker: What the Hell?

EDI: That was a joke.

You record them?

EDI: No. I do not believe the definition of "joke" has changed recently. I monitor their vitals, but I have never "recorded" them. That would be a violation of their privacy. Even if I did have recordings, I would never divulge them, though some have asked.

Joker: Who? Let me guess: Donnelly.

EDI: Legion as well.

Joker: Ummm... why?

EDI: He wanted to archive it, and compare the data to other "creator bonded-couples". I speculate that he wanted to see if the process has evolved over 300 years. That, or compare a human-quarian procedure to the archived quarian-quarian procedures.

Joker: Or he was a horny bastard.

EDI: Synthetics do not have hormonal drives, Jeff. It was purely for data collection and analysis.

Joker: Whatever. You think the Geth will let me crack into that database?

This has gotten too far out of hand! I apologize to our viewers. Obviously, you two can't shed new light on the topic. Good day.


-Kenneth Donnelly and Gabriella Daniels-

"Hello there! You two are engineers on the Normandy, correct?"

"Tha's right. We keep the ol' girl runnin' smooth as a baby's bottom!"

"Excellent."

-Camera turns on-

Joining us now are two of the Normandy's engineers, Kenneth and Gabriella. You two work closely with Tali'Zorah?

Gabby: Sure do. She was actually chief engineer back when we were fighting the Collectors. She sure knows her stuff!

Ken: Aye, she's a fine lass. Easy on tha eyes too.

Gabby: Kenneth! We're on TV...

Ken: Ya worry too much, Gabby dear.

So you three hit it off from the start?

Gabby: Not exactly. Tali didn't trust us at first, being associated with Cerberus and all.

Ken: Tha's puttin' it lightly!

Gabby: Ha! I still remember your face when she translated all of the interfaces to an ancient Khelish dialect! It was priceless!

Ken: Oi! I thought it was some kinda virus! Then I look over, and there's this smug littl' bucket-head glarin' at me.

Smug little bucket-head indeed. Did she finally stop her childish games?

Ken: Of course, once she trusted us. I can respect where she was comin' from. Cerberus is no charity. Just look at 'em now: Totally off tha deep end!

Gabby: That's right, I'd have probably done the same in her shoes. Or, bootie things. Whatever they are.

Ken: Playin' poker with her helped break tha ice.

Gambling aboard a warship? The Commander loves to play fast and loose with the rules. I'm sure you witnessed their infatuation first hand?

Ken: Tha's right. Won me a fair amount of credits too – no one would believe us! But I got tha last laugh there!

Gabby: It was soo cute! She'd get all flustered and nervous when he'd visit. And you should have seen her the day he finally admitted his feelings. Tali was like a kid on Christmas morning! After he left, she started bouncing on her toes – it was the most adorable thing I've ever seen!

Ken: An' I could've sworn I heard her purrin'!

Gabby: He'd come by and visit her quite frequently too. They were so cute together!

Ken: Aye, I'd look over and see them embracin' all intimate like. They'd be whisperin' to each other an' all that. I was half expectin' them to fire up a nerve-stim an' have at it right there!

Gabby: Kenneth! It was sweet – don't ruin the memory with your dirty mind!

Yes, that is not an image I care to entertain. You said that she is no longer chief engineer?

Gabby: Yep. I'm sure she could have easily gotten the position if she wanted it, but it was her choice to let Adams stay chief. I don't think she wanted to manage personnel and all the paperwork. Plus, it's easier with her being on the ground team all the time.

Ken: An' she gets to spend more time relaxin' with Shepard.

Gabby: Ugh! Do you have a one-track mind all the time?

Ken: Part of my charm, dear.

Charm is not the word I would use. Given your responses, you two support their relationship?

Ken: You bet.

Gabby: A hundred percent!

I see. I should have guessed that Tali would manipulate you into accepting her special arrangement with the ship's captain. Good day to you both.


-Kolyat Krios-

"Excuse me! Drell, can I have a moment?"

"Who, me?"

"Yes you! How many other Drell do you see?"

"What do you want?"

"Just a quick interview."

-Camera turns on-

Mr. Krios, reports indicate that you served with Shepard on the Normandy, is that correct?

No, that was my father. I'm Kolyat, his son.

Oh, where is your father then?

He lays on the hospital bed. His face is full of sweat. His breaths are ragged, labored.

"Kolyat," he gasps. "My son."

"I'm here father," I respond.

"Not much time. Call Shepard. Like to see him once more. Before... Before I return to the Deep." His eyes are glazed over – not much time left.

He is dead.

I see. Well, we all die eventually. It's part of life, kid.

Don't patronize me! What did you want with him anyway?

He knew Commander Shepard. I wondered if he could shed light on the Commander's strange relationship with the quarian.

I don't think it's strange. I've seen them together. She was with Shepard and my father when I... when they rescued me from a bad situation.

I see. Is that the only time you've seen them together?

No, I saw them again – a few weeks later. I was walking home from "work" at C-Sec. It was just the two of them.

He reaches for her hand. She grabs his, eyes lighting up – smiling. Their fingers interlace. 5 and 3, with practiced ease. A perfect fit. They are not alone. The crowds see. The people glare, mock, jeer.

"Eww, is he holding hands with it?"

"Hey buddy! You got a suit-rat stuck to ya!"

"Keep your pet on a leash!"

"Filthy creatures! Get away from him!"

"Is he insane? Why is he touching it?"

"Disgusting!"

"Foul!"

"Unnatural!"

Her eyes dim – frowning. She lets go of his hand, shying away. Her vocalizer heralds words of sorrow, regret. She speaks softly, laced with shame: "I'm sorry, John. You don't deserve to be treated like this. It's okay... I'll keep my distance."

He rushes to her, embraces her, whispers sweetly in her ear. She relaxes, grabs his hand. They walk on, ignoring the crowds.

From that day on, they vowed never to be ashamed of their relationship.

They should have listened to the vox populi. But, I should let you go, kid. You don't want to be late for school or something. You can tell all your little friends that you were part of a live broadcast!


-Admiral Steven Hackett-

It's an honor to speak with you, Admiral Hackett. My name is Khalisah Bint Sinan al-Jilani, Westerlund News. I have a few questions for you.

This is a high-priority QEC, Miss al-Jilani. Emergency use only. I have a healthy respect for the Press, but there is a war on.

I assure you, this is a topic of extreme importance!

I'll be the judge of that.

Commander Shepard is one of your best, correct?

Yes. Go on...

What about the fact that he's sleeping with a quarian?

Adm. Hackett has disconnected


-Major Kirrahe-

Joining us now is Major Kirrahe. He served with Commander Shepard for a brief time before the Battle of the Citadel.

Yes, an honor serving with him. He kept most of my team alive. Good soldier.

And what "good solider" would pursue a romantic relationship with a squad member while fighting a war?

Don't know. I'm not a mammal.

True, but such a thing is unwise, don't you think? Think of the added liability.

I suppose that make sense; never really thought about it. Seems a bit risky.

Indeed. So, how can anyone condone Shepard's relationship with Tali'Zorah?

The quarian right? Heard about that! Amazing that a human would pursue a quarian. A lot of unknowns. Surprising, but noble. Good for them.

Don't tell me you approve of this too? I figured a salarian would have a more practical attitude. It's foolishness! Nonsense!

Human saying: "A little nonsense now and then is relished by the wisest men." Always loved that saying! Life is too short; must enjoy it.

None of us may be enjoying life if Shepard fails his job. Having this quarian distraction is a risk to everyone! What if Reaper forces gun him down because he's too busy staring at her... feminine form?

You underestimate Shepard. Tali'Zorah was part of team Shadow on Virmire. His team. They did their job perfectly.

But is that a risk we should be willing to take? It may be wise to separate them for the sake of our survival.

Don't be a cloaca! They fight better together. I've seen it. And you should learn to respect their decisions.

I refuse to fall under Shepard's indoctrination. It seems that you have, so this concludes our interview.


-Admiral Tali'Zorah vas Normandy nar Rayya and Commander John Shepard-

Khalisah: "Commander Shepard and Admiral Zorah? I didn't expect to see you two on the Citadel."

Tali: "We're on a date."

Shepard: "Excuse us."

Khalisah: "Not so fast!"

-Camera turns on-

Good evening ladies and gentlemen. I'm standing outside the Levo and Dextro friendly and romantic hot-spot, The Dequerella. Just leaving from an exquisite meal this evening is none other than Commander Shepard and Admiral Zorah. Thank you for agreeing to an interview!

Shepard: We never agreed to an interview.

Tali: Please, we've already talked to the Press about our relationship. We just want to be left alone.

But the galaxy has questions! How do you justify pampering yourselves while worlds burn?

Shepard: Khalisah, why are you doing this?

Last time we met, Shepard, you told me to "keep asking the hard questions." So I am! Can't handle your own advice? Now, answer the question: The Reapers are destroying everything and you two are stuffing your faces with caviar and –

After a few quick taps on Tali's omnitool, Khalisah's camera drone flies into a Krogan bystander. He angrily thrusts it on the ground and stomps on it, destroying the camera.

Tali: "Child's play."

Khalisah: "You little quarian bitch! That was sensitive equipment, not some scrap-metal from the Flotilla! You're going to pay for this, you dirty little suit-rat!"

Shepard: "No she won't. Spectre authority."

Khalisah: "How dare you abuse your power like this? I'll bring this to the Council! They'll –"

Krogan: "Excuse me, Miss? Was this your camera drone?" He holds the broken camera aloft.

Khalisah: "Yes! Give that back you oaf!"

Krogan: "Sure, but not before THIS!"

He proceeds to give Khalisah a brutal Krogan head-butt, rendering her unconscious.

Shepard: "Nice one! It's a shame the camera is broken. I would've loved to have recorded that."

Tali: "Got you covered." She taps her omnitool a few more times. "And... I may have uploaded it to the extranet. And it may already have half a million hits and a fan site!"

Shepard: "I love you!"

Tali: "I know."