Chapter 12

I knew the second I got home and saw my mom's car in the drive way that I was toast. I mean usually my mom doesn't really get upset with me and if there is a time when I would like to miss one day of school or something she is ok with it but if I ditch that is when she gets pissed off.

"Hey if everything going to be ok, would it help if we came in and explained or something?" Leah asked me trying to make things better, but I knew if she or Paul came in it would only make things worse. Because I chose to ditch with them it's not like they held a gun to my head or something and forced me to do it.

"No I will be alright, but thanks for the offer. I guess I should warn you that our date might have to be cancelled." I said with a frown.

"Hey it will be alright I mean I felt like I got to know you really well today. Yea I hope our date doesn't have to be cancelled but if it is we will figure something else out. I feel something really strong with you April and there is no way I am going to let a potential grounding stop us from being together." The second she says that she still wants there to be an us a giant smile breaks out on my face. I mean I care about Leah so much and I know that we have could be special; I just feel it deep in my heart.

"I'm really happy to hear you say that, and I'm not going to let a grounding stop it either. Yea my mother will probably be upset with me but I'm sure once I explain exactly what happen it will help her calm down a little." I slowly caressed her cheek in reassurance. Just as I was about to step out of the car I decided to take a bold move, seeing as I didn't know how upset my mom would be and I quickly leaned in and gave kiss on the lips. It was a fast one sure, but I hope she realized what I was trying to say. Once I reached the door I decided to take a quick glance at her and saw a smile on her face and her fingers touching her lips.

"April Maria Gonzalez get in this house right now!" I heard my mom yell from inside. Dammit I am definitely in trouble if she uses my whole. I give them a small wave goodbye and then step inside to get my punishment.

"Hi mom, how are you?" yea I know that's a stupid question to ask, but I wasn't sure what the heck I was supposed to say. I mean I know I'm in trouble and probably shouldn't try to avoid the inevitable.

"Do not even try to any sweet miss you are in so much trouble, where do you get of not only skipping school, but also getting into a potential fight at school with one of your classmates!" she yelled at me the second I stepped into the living clearly upset.

"Mom really I can explain I didn't mean for it to happen, it just all kind of happen at once and I mean I didn't know I would end up skipping my last class or almost getting into a fight I promise." I pleaded trying to get her to listen to my point of view so she knows that I wasn't really in the wrong, I mean honestly if Christina wouldn't have approached me it never would have happen.

"Alright fine then why don't you tell me exactly what happen and I mean every detail form what caused you to almost get into a get into a fight with this girl. To what you were doing before you got it." She said with a stern look on her face, so I sat down on the couch and told her everything. I mean everything from the first argument that I got into with Christina, to what happen this afternoon during lunch. I even told her about the talk that I had with Leah and Paul.

"Honey what have I told you about keeping secrets from me. Why didn't you tell me about the problem that you had with Christina when it first happen?" My mom asked with a sad look on her face.

"Because I didn't think it was a big deal I mean normally I would have let her say those things without caring, but I actually stood up to her and kept my own ground. I just didn't want to worry you when I knew that nothing horrible had happen." I hope that she understood my reasoning behind why I didn't talk to her.

"Honey I do understand, but no matter what I am still going to worry that's a just a mom's job. Next time I want for you to come me, even if you think it's a simple problem. And if I do think you can handle it I promise to not interfere I just want to know about the things that are going on in your life." My mom looked sad while she said this. I know that my mom just wants to look out for me but sometimes there are just things that a girl couldn't even tell her mother about.

"I know you do mom and I promise to be as honest as I can but sometimes there may be things that might I might prefer talking to someone else about, it's not that I don't trust you it's just you are my friend but you are also my mom. I hope you know I'm not trying to hurt your feelings or anything." I felt bad for the sad look on my mom's face but I know that she understands. I mean she use to tell me how close she was with my grandma when she was younger, but at the same time she also kept secrets from her because there are just certain things that a person would prefer to talk to her friends about rather than a parent.

"I know honey trust me of all people I understand. But you just have to promise me to come to me if it's incredibly important and you don't know what to do, I just want to keep you safe and do not want to risk potentially loosing you again." And there it is the reason why mom is constantly checking on me and making sure that I am really ok. My mom might say she trust me but it's only been a couple of months since the last time I tried to end my life and I know she worries. She thinks that if I am left alone for too long or something that I might try to take my life once again, and I might know that's not true but she still thinks it's a possibility.

"Mom I promise that's not going to happen again, I mean you have to trust me when I say I know I made a mistake and I will not do it again. I finally realized that I have too much to live for to just give up my life as if it means nothing."

"I know honey but it still won't stop me from worrying you just have to give me time alright. I promise you that at some point I will be fully able to trust that you won't do it again, but as of right now I still worry about what you might do to yourself if you get depressed again."

"I know you worry mom, you will always worry like you said you a mom that's you job. I mean you will probably still worry about me when I'm thirty and living on my own with a family of my own, that is one thing I love about you so much." I said with a smile as I leaned in and hugged her. I know that I have a lot of mending to do to get my mom to believe that I won't hurt myself again but I am willing to put in all the work that it will take.

"Ok well we should probably calm down now before I start tearing up and start ranting about how much I love you" my mom said with a chuckle as she wiped away some of the tears that were already appearing.

"Yeah you are right, so just going to upstairs and do the homework for the classes I showed up to and see if the other teachers posted something our online website about tonight's homework." I said with a smile acting as if I didn't have plans with Leah before this happen.

"That's a good idea because I may understand why you acted that way but you are still grounded for tonight, that means no date with Leah." I frowned the second she said that I mean I already knew that would probably happen, but that doesn't mean it still doesn't suck.

"So why don't you go on upstairs and give a call and tell her that you will just have to re-schedule for tomorrow." She said with a smile on her face, and I knew my smile was way bigger.

"Seriously mom it's ok if I got out tomorrow?" I mean sure I was excited but I just needed to make sure.

"Yes it's ok if you go out tomorrow, but tonight you stay in." She said attempting to be stern but her smile gave her away.

"Oh thank you so much mom and I am totally cool with that." I gave a quick hug and kiss on the cheek. "I'm just going to go and call Leah now." I said as I ran towards my room already having pulled my phone out searching for Leah's name. Now I don't know whether I should call or text her. While I contemplated what I should do my phone made a beep sound letting me I had a text message and when I saw Leah's name a smile broke on out on my face.

Leah: Hey so how are things going, I hope you are not in major trouble. Text back when you can

Me: Hey no I'm not in too much trouble once I explained everything to my mom she understood why it happen and that the argument wasn't my fault. She also understood that you and Paul were just trying to help so I wouldn't end up doing something stupid.

Leah: Well that's good I'm happy that you didn't get into that much trouble. I wish my mom could be as understanding as yours. So I was curious what about tonight is she letting you go or no?

Me: Well she said that for tonight I was grounded and could not go out on our date.

Leah: why that really sucks I mean I had this surprise for you and found a nice little restaurant I could take you too. But did she say when it would be ok to for you to go out on this date?

Me: yes she did, she said today was a no. But that tomorrow I could go out with you

Leah: Seriously! So tomorrow as in tomorrow night or tomorrow as even in the morning?

Me: Now that is a really good question let me ask her real quick.

"Hey mama could I ask you something?" I said when I found in the kitchen starting dinner.

"Yea sure sweetheart what is it?"

"Well I was curious when you said that I could go out with Leah tomorrow did you mean like tomorrow night, or if I wanted to could I go out with her in the morning?" As soon as I finished asking my question my mom began to chuckle.

"I was curious when you were going to come and ask me that" So she knew that I was going to come and ask her this. "Well sweetheart when I said tomorrow I meant that you could go out with her all day tomorrow if you like" she said with a smile.

"Really? Thank you so much mom that is really sweet of you." I gave her another hug again.

"It's fine sweetheart now why don't you go and let Leah know I'm sure that's probably why you came and asked me anyways." She said with a chuckle. Ok my mom definitely knew me very well.

"Ok well tank you mom I guess I am just going to go let her know now thank you again." I said with a smile as I walked towards my room.

"You're welcome honey and I will let you know when dinner is ready." As soon as I got back in the room I text Leah.

Me: So my mom just let me know that tomorrow morning is fine too, so I guess I'm really just grounded for tonight.

Leah: Well tat's good that you were only grounded for tonight.

Me: So could I ask why you were curious about whether or not I could go out tomorrow morning as well?

Leah: Well I was just wondering that if you weren't doing anything tomorrow morning that maybe I could plan our date for then, I mean that's if you want to.

Me: so does that mean that we would spend even more time together tomorrow?

Leah: Yes if you would like that. I mean if you want we can wait until tomorrow night but if you're ok with the morning than I could plan more things for us to do.

Me: Why on earth would I say no to spending a whole day with you? I would love to be able to go out with you.

Leah: Well I'm glad that you like the idea of spending all day together because it makes me happy to. So what do you say about me picking you up at say 12?

Me: Yes that sounds like a good idea, and it gives me plenty of time to get pretty for you.

Leah: Baby you do not have to spend hours getting sexy for me. I always think you look beautiful.

Me: Did you just call me baby?

Leah: Yeah I guess I did, I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable. If you don't want me to say that again I completely understand

Me: Normally I don't know if I would like that. But when you called me baby I loved it and the first thought that popped into my head was I can't wait to hear her say it in person. Now I hope that wasn't too forward for you.

Leah: Haha nope that was not too forward at all. And I will have absolutely no problem calling you baby in person. In fact I'm willing to call you whatever nickname you like

Me: Oh really well what other kind of nicknames could you possibly be thinking about calling me?

Leah: Oh I don't know there is always babe, honey, sweetheart, darling, sexy, beautiful, sugar, should I go on?

Me: No I think you should stop because if you keep going on than my face would probably get even redder, than it already is lol

Leah: Oh so you're blushing than I definitely should keep going if it means it will get you to blush

Me: Yes but if you keep going then you won't see me blush and if you do it tomorrow I probably won't get as embarrassed so it won't matter if you do it.

Leah: Ok well that's true so I will stop the nicknames for now but I promise you tomorrow I will have you turning red with everything I say and do babygirl.

Me: Well I can't wait babe

Leah: You know you will have to come up with something else right because I officially took all nicknames that have baby in it. But I do like it.

Me: Don't worry I will come up with something better just got to give me a little time to think. So what are your plans for tonight?

Leah: Well originally I was planning on take out this beautiful Hispanic girl that I cannot stop thinking of, but it turns out that she got in trouble and can't go out tonight. So now I am sitting at home watching my brother Seth and his friend Collin and Brady play a bunch of video games.

Me: Awe poor baby to bad I can't be there to entertain you and keep your mind occupied.

Leah: Oh yeah well what would you do if you were to keep me busy huh?

Me: Do you really want to know what I would do, I mean I can be very detailed and it might make you very anxious.

Leah: Trust me I want every last detail no need to hold back babygirl.

Oh gosh do I really want to do this I mean it's pretty obvious by the things both of us are saying, that I'm not talking about reading a book to keep us distracted. I mean a part of me really wants to keep going with the conversation to see what happens. But then the shy part of me wants to stop, because of worry that she might expect me to do what I text I would do and I'm not even sure yet that I would do it.

"April honey dinner is ready come and eat" I heard my mom yell from kitchen.

"I'll there in a minute." Well at least dinner will give me some time to think about whether or not I want to keep going. I should text Leah and let her know that I have to eat.

Me: My mom just told me that it's dinner time, but I will be back a little later and then we can keep the conversation going?

Leah: Sounds good to me, I actually need to get something for me in the boys to eat. So enjoy your dinner and then we can talk later tonight.

I just hope I will have enough guts to do the kind of talking that she seems to want. I mean it's pretty obvious that I kind of lack experience I mean I've only really been with one girl, and still we didn't even have sex just lots of making out. I mean sure I've been on a couple of dates and I've even read very detailed books but that doesn't mean I will actually know what to physically do with Leah. I mean if I have to be honest the thought of her completely turns me on. I would love to just grab her and kiss her with everything in me and run my fingers all over her beautiful body.

"April honey can you hear me?" I heard my mom ask while she took her hand in front of my face, I guess I must have zoned out or something without even realizing it.

"Oh sorry mom what did you say?" I asked while she chuckled at me.

"I was asking what has your mind so distracted."

"Oh sorry mom I was just thinking about something that Leah and I were talking about earlier."

"Oh could I ask what it was or would that be too personal?" I wanted to say yes but then at the same time it's my mom and I didn't want to hurt her feelings so maybe a little lie wouldn't be so bad.

"Oh well Leah told me that she also had something important that she wanted to tell me, so I was just thinking about what it could be." There that wasn't a complete lie, I mean Leah had told me earlier that she had something she wanted to tell me, I had just kind of forgotten that she said that until just now.

"Well honey I'm sure whatever it is it will be fine. You just have to remember to keep an open mind because when someone reveals a secret it can be hard on them and the fear of being rejected is most likely ten times stronger.

"I understand mom and you're probably right I mean when I was telling Leah my story earlier I was so scared that she wouldn't except it and would leave me before we actually got a chance to be together but I guess that's not all I'm scared of." I said in a small voice.

"Well what else are you scared of?" My mom asked while gently grabbing my hand from across the table.

"What if this is all fake what if she says she cares, but doesn't really. I mean mom we are working on this assignment that says we are supposed to become a couple, what is that is this is to her an assignment? I'm scared that I might fall and then end up hurt." I said in a small voice as I confessed one of my biggest fears. I don't know what will happen if at the end of a month Leah says all of this meant nothing to her.

"Oh honey I wish I had an answer for that but I don't. I mean you don't know what will happen a month from now. I know it's scary to think that you might end up hurt, but that's what relationships and love is all about. You just have to put yourself out there and show them who you really are and they will either fall in love with your or not want you." It's the not falling in love part that scares me the most.

"I know mom but I'm still pretty terrified about what is going to happen, but you are right I can't hold back I just need to be myself and hope that she loves everything I have to offer."

"Yes honey, and trust me when I say you know whether or not she is worth the risk. Deep in your heart you will feel it if all of this was the wrong idea."

"I agree mom and so far my heart has been telling me to give her a chance and stop being afraid of what could happen, and that is exactly what I am going to do. Thank you so much for the help mom" I said with a smile on my face. This is why I always come to my mom for advice; she knows exactly what to say to me.

"Of course honey that's what I'm here to teach you things that took me years to learn on my own." She said with a smile. "Now when you finish dinner I want you to do some of your homework you have alright. I know you probably want to talk but I do not you to leave it all to last minute on Sunday alright.

"Alright mom then I should probably go get it done right now, I mean I don't have that much from my first three class but I have to see if any of my other teachers posted more." I said once I finished rinsing of my dishes and then started to head towards my room.

"Well that's good, oh and April I just wanted to let you know that tomorrow I'm going to head into Seattle with one of the teachers from the school. She invited me to go shopping and we decided to head out early so that we could do more things for fun so I will probably not see you until night tomorrow or even Sunday morning. So enjoy your date with Leah and please be safe ok, and please do not come in to late ok don't forget you are still a teenager.

"Alright mom I promise to be good and have a good time in Seattle." I said with a smile as I gave my mom a kiss on the cheek goodnight.

"Alright now hurry up and get some homework done so you could talk to Leah again." I swear one minute my mom can be a mom and the next second she is teasing me like a best friend. I couldn't help but laugh back once I entered my room.

When I got into my room the first thing that I did was start up on my math homework and finish up the math problems that I had left and since it was the weekend my teacher had assigned like twice the normal amount, so it took about an hour to finish of all of them. Then I did the two history worksheets and that only took like twenty minutes and finally I had to take notes out of the book for my health class on like two chapters, so it took me almost two hours to finish it all. By the time I finished up all of my homework I realized that it was past nine o'clock and knowing my mom she was probably heading off to bed right now. I have no idea what I should do I mean I had promised to text Leah back, but I don't know if she would want me to text back tis late. But what the hell I really want to talk to her so might as well take the chance.

Me: Hey it's me sorry it took so long for me to text back it's just I promised my mom I would get most of my homework done today and it took me a couple of hours to do it. I'd understand if you didn't want to talk this late.

I waited a couple of minutes to see if she would reply while I walked around the room and put all of my things away. When I saw that she didn't' reply I figured that maybe she was sleeping so I decided to just get ready for bed as well. So I grabbed my usual pajamas, some small shorts and tank top and headed to the bathroom to get ready. When I got back to my room I saw a small beeping light coming from my phone so I looked and saw that I had a reply from Leah.

Leah: Hey you actually text just the right time I was just getting ready for bed and when I got back I saw that I had a text from you.

Me: Seriously I was just doing the same thing when I saw that you didn't reply at first I figured that you were probably sleeping and decided to get ready. I just got back and saw that you replied.

Leah: Well I guess it's a good thing we both texted when we did would have hated if I missed a chance to talk to you.

Me: Yeah I know what you mean, so what is on your mind.

Leah: Honestly our conversation from earlier is still on my mind.

Me; Oh really so that means I was right when I said I would be able to distract you from focusing on your brother and his friends.

Leah: Well I guess you did do an amazing job, so are you planning on distracting me again to keep me awake?

Me: Well what kind of distractions are we talking about, and does that mean that you would return the favor?

Leah: I would happily return the favor if that's what you want baby.

Me: Well I guess I should be honest when I say that I don't have any experience being with someone. I mean what I'm trying to say is that I'm a virgin and that I haven't really done much a person and wouldn't really know what to do.

Leah: What do you think I expect from you. I mean I'm not trying to get you to do anything you don't want to do or aren't ready for, you know that right?

Me: Yeah it's just like you know I get nervous I know that some people prefer if someone had some actual experience and me well I don't have any.

Leah: Can I call you?

That text kind of took me by surprise I mean what does she have to say over phone that she couldn't say over text. I guess I will just have to find out.

Me: Yes

A second after I sent the text my phone was ringing, and Leah's name was on the screen.

Me: Hi there

Leah: Hey so do you want to tell me what is wrong, do you think that all I want from you is like sex or something?

Even through the phone I could hear the hurt tone in her voice.

Me: Of course not, but I just get scared that you might want more then I can offer. I mean I'm not like a complete prude or something that will never sleep with someone. But it's just I am a virgin and I don't have that much experience with a girl or guy besides making out and some touching.

Leah: I don't think or expect that from you April. All I expect is for you to give me a chance and to be yourself. I don't much experience at being with a girl either, I mean the only experience I actually have is being a guy.

Me: You hooked up with a guy?

Leah: Yeah that is part of the thing that I have to tell you, and it will be better if I tell you everything at once and in person, not the type of conversation you have over the phone.

Me: I understand trust me I mean I know I could have never told you what I had to say over the phone. So will I be hearing about it tomorrow?

Leah: well isn't someone a very impatient girl. I promise to answer all your questions and to tell you everything tomorrow baby. But it may not be completely easy to take in.

Me: One thing I have learned is that you cannot judge someone on facts that you do not really know. I promise to listen to everything you say before making any sudden judgments, and I'm sure nothing you say can make me hate you sweetheart.

Leah: I'm not really scared of you hating I think I fear that you will reject me.

Me: Well don't worry about that alright we don't know what will happen. But I know everything between us will be ok, I am not going to let a connection like ours be ruined.

Leah: Well aren't just the sweetest. I am really happy that we met babygirl, I bet one of these I'm going to have bake the guys like thank you cupcakes or make them like a thank you dinner.

Me: Why would you have to do that?

Leah: Because if they wouldn't have volunteered to help you and your mom that Saturday we probably would not have met.

Me: Well that's not true I mean we have met in Spanish class right?

Leah: Well actually no we would not have met. I guess I should be honest that first day of school when you first bumped into Collin it wasn't on accident, it was kind of on purpose. I told him to do and to try and find out your schedule to see if maybe we would have a class together. When I found you had Spanish 4th I went to the office and had my 2nd period Spanish class switched with my 4th period economics class so that we could be together.

Me: Wow so you did all of that just so that we could have a class together? But what would you have done if we didn't have any of the same classes?

Leah: Well then I would have figured out another way to talk to you, I would have gotten Seth or Collin to invite you to lunch, or done something. You weren't the only one who felt a connection the first few times we saw each other.

Me: Wow I know I should be a little freaked out by the fact that you did all of that just so that you could see, but I am actually really touched by the fact. I mean I think it's sweet, so I guess I picked the right name huh sweetheart.

Leah: Well I guess you did babygirl, I am just happy that you aren't upset or something.

Me: No I'm not I'm actually really happy that you did that. You know I really like it when you call me babygirl.

Leah: Oh really like that huh baby, well I promise to do a lot more things that you enjoy and make you smile baby.

Me: Hehe well I can't wait to see you everything that you have to offer.

Leah: Well I promise to give you a glimpse of things tomorrow on our date, now you make sure to be ready by twelve o'clock ok baby.

Me: I promise you that I will be ready by twelve without a doubt, knowing me I will probably wake up extra early from being nervous and then have time to spare before you get here.

Leah: Well if you do end up being ready extra early then you can just text me because if I'm ready than I will swing by and get you sooner. I remember the first time we went to the beach I was ready an hour bore all the guys.

Me: So was I, I can't wait to see you tomorrow I'm sad that we couldn't have our date today but I'm happy that I get to spend all day with you tomorrow.

Leah: Yeah you are completely right babygirl twelve straight hours of us being together and alone without anyone else.

Me: Seriously we get be alone the whole time like none of the guys are going to come around or anything?

I couldn't help the excitement that came into my voice when she said that we would be alone the whole entire time. I was really excited about that fact.

Leah: Yes I promise that we can be alone the whole entire time without a problem, I mean probably at the end the guys will try to get us to go and spend some time with them, but we won't have to. I have a whole day planned for us.

Me: Oh could you please tell me what we are going to do, or like give me a hint or something?

Leah: Nope all I am going to say is that make sure you wear a bathing suit under your outfit. And your outfit could either be a dress, a skirt, jeans it's nothing formal just all cute and casual.

Me: Ok I have absolutely no problem with that.

Leah: Ok babygirl I have had such a fun time talking to you but I think we should both go and get some sleep now.

Me: Do we have to I really don't want to stop talking.

Leah: I know you don't babygirl because I don't want to go either but we have to go. I mean we have to get some sleep so that we won't be tired tomorrow, especially if you are going to wake up extra early.

Me: Yeah you are probably right, well can't wait for tomorrow. Goodnight Leah.

Leah: Goodnight April, see you tomorrow.

That night I went to sleep dreaming of Leah and wondering what she could have planned for us tomorrow. All I know is that no matter what I would probably love it, just because of the fact that she planned something specially meant for us. Like my mom always says it's the thought that the person puts behind what they give you not just what it is what they get you.