Disclaimer: This is a work of fan fiction using characters from the Harry Potter world, which is trademarked by J. K. Rowling. This story is purely for entertainment purposes, no money is being made from it.
A/N: Huge, huge thank you to my alpha - Holdt and my beta - inviteme 3 3 3
Missing part of the chapter – for those interested, full chapter can be found on AO3 and AFF (SnapeLove) or Wattpad (Snape4everLove).
Chapter 12: Judgement call
Anger, frustration, but above all fear swirled in him. Walking briskly to his room, Severus swore under the breath. This was bad.
Not that he appreciated being played for a fool - which he most definitely did not. Somehow, that was least of his worries at the present moment. Of course, those who play with fire can get burned, but why he had to be on the short end of the stick every single time?
Oh, it wasn't the fact that Lupin was gay...
Maybe it was, but not for the reason Lupin might think off…
And, not that he...
Severus blew a frustrated puff of air through his nose. Why was this so hard? He stood in front of the Dark Lord, and lied to him in his face, fully aware of what would happen if he was discovered. He tried to bargain his way out even when it was obvious to him that all was lost. Then why now did he have a problem even formulating thoughts, little less vocalising them?
If he wanted to be honest - he knew the answer. The main problem was... Severus wasn't so sure he wanted to be that honest, even to himself. He did make a point of not lying to himself - but this was an exception.
Some mistakes are not worth even thinking off.
He sat on the bed but moved fast to the opposite corner when a ray of bright light blinded him. He glared at the streak of sun, reaching into the room through the crack in the drapes. That streak of light was almost offensive, too happy and calm.
There was nothing happy about the fact that Remus Lupin was gay.
That placed him in a rather delicate predicament. He could draw back, declaring his surrender. Then again, maybe there was something to salvage from it, but he would have to be careful.
Some other things, however, came to light. He watched as specks of dust danced in the sun ray, their irregular, lazy pattern helping him focus. Yes - there was an angle he could work out if he read the signs correctly.
Suddenly the breakfast, the herbs, reading...everything had a different meaning. It almost looked like Lupin was trying to - court him, or was that just an unfortunately clumsy way of apology.
"Agh!" He exclaimed, slashing his hand through the stream of sunshine, disrupting the lazy path of dust specks in it. He watched as specks twirled before returning to the more peaceful track.
Now, let me see... Do I need it?
Given how long he had only himself for the company the most logical answer would be - yes, he indeed needed a bit of...well - sex.
Do I want it...with him?
That was or maybe wasn't the question at all. Lupin was good looking, he did appear quite fit and... Well... It was Lupin. This was a true conundrum. The fact that the person was Remus Lupin was pro and con all at the same time.
Then again he always wondered how would be to… Then again - maybe not…
Let's say that I do want, few issues should be addressed. The question of compatibility… Preference...
Severus frowned. Yes, preference could present a problem. The fact that Lupin was a rug in an everyday life didn't necessarily mean that Lupin was a rug in bed. He himself was, at least until now, very unyielding in his preferences.
With a growl, he buried his face in the hands, rubbing his palms over it.
What am I thinking of?
Well, he obviously didn't think straight. The other parts of his anatomy merrily joined in the decision-making process, saluting to the idea. Not to mention that his blood decided to immigrate to the lower parts of his body.
With a tormented hiss, he divested himself, rummaged briefly through the duffle bag until he found what he was looking for, frowning at the object in his hands.
He did use the object in his hand on occasion but was now one of those occasions? His thoughts conjured up the image of growling Lupin, pinning him to the doorframe, and hissing in his ear. A shiver ran down his spine.
He couldn't remember if anyone ever even attempted to pin him or in any other way display such dominant attitude. Certainly not in bed, in bed he was the aggressor. It appeared to him that at the moment all the blood he possessed somehow concentrated in the lower part of his body.
It was too long since the last time he was in the mood for something like that. He noted that for further reference.
Just like riding a broom. He chuckled. Given the size of it, it might as well pass as a small broom handle.
He thought about Lupin. How he looked like, his movements around the house. The kiss - his hand speeded up a bit. How Lupin smelled and tasted. His hips moved on their own accord, thrusting up. The way Lupin pushed him, hot breath on his ear and neck. Biting out the moans and grunts his hand blurred now in a loose-squeeze-loose twisting motion.
Finally stilling, his heavy breaths sounding too loud in the room. He felt pleasantly tired. This release was more satisfactory than all previous ones. Forcing himself to move he groped for the wand and cleared out the mess.
Very well, he could be amicable with reconsidering a few options and possibilities. Still, all this didn't mean that Lupin would be willing...
Of course, he would! This is Lupin, not like he has too many offers.
Now offer, that could be a tricky one. For him, it usually meant just approaching the desired target, be it a male or female, and suggesting. But, that was the rule in circles he frequented before. Severus highly doubted that he would be welcomed there now.
And with his attitude, it wouldn't boot well if Lupin thought he gained an upper hand. No, that had to be done subtly. If he could trick Lupin into suggesting... now, that would be perfect.
Making a decision, finally satisfied he sunk into a soft slumber.
