Wade On Over Here


Pepper was standing off to the side of the large public fountain, trying to discreetly pretend that she wasn't with Tony. He could tell, and he was pretending to be hurt by it. Unfortunately, Pepper seemed to know that he was pretending to be hurt by her pretending. "You and I aren't going anywhere together anymore," she told him firmly.

Tony looked up from his task and rolled his eyes at her, despite the fact that she wasn't looking at him. He tried to put himself in her shoes for a moment: She was a little bit embarrassed by the fact that her boss was wearing rubber boots and a business suit while wading around in a public fountain, sifting through coins and other mildly disgusting objects in an attempt to find his favorite laser pen.

Yes, it sounded like Pepper, but it was also - undeniably - something that Tony would do. Couldn't she see that? It was his favorite laser pen! He couldn't let it go without at least attempting to look for it.

Admittedly, it was his fault for losing it in the first place. The week before, a group of business men had dragged him by here on their way to get lunch at some fancy Thai restaurant.

Truthfully, Tony had always thought that those tiny shops that hardly had two costumers dining at the same time had the best food. But he knew better than to expect them to want to go to a small place like that. They liked living high and mighty, so obscenely expensive restaurant, almost decent food, and boring conversation was a must.

He'd been tossing his laser pen into the air and one of the topics of conversation had actually caught his interest. He'd talked about it all the way to the restaurant, and by the time they were there, his pen was no longer in his hands. Now, a week later, he was back tracking. Part of him really didn't expect to find it ever again, but there was no harm in trying.

"Come on, Pepper Potts," he said loudly. "Why wouldn't you want to travel in the same vehicle with me, Tony Stark? It saves gas."

"Would you stop that," she hissed, turning to face him fully. "It's bad enough that we have to do this in broad daylight on a Friday! And for a laser pen that you lost!"

"I'm Tony Stark! My gadgets mean a lot to me, Pepper Potts!"

"You're doing that on purpose."

"Absolutely," he said in a normal voice, flashing her a smile. His eyes widened and he dipped a hand into the water, only to come up with a silver pen. But Pepper knew it wasn't his, and so did he. He tossed it back with a heavy sigh and bent over to look closer at the treasures under the rippling water.

"Why don't you just make a new one?" Pepper asked, sitting on the edge of the fountain in the one spot that it wasn't wet. "You didn't even make the one you lost, did you?"

"No, I didn't. But it's special and I want it back."

"You have a dozen other laser pens scattered all around your office and workshop!"

"This one is special and I want it back," he repeated, dipping in again and coming out with a tie clasp, which he threw back.

She sighed and looked away. "How on earth can a laser pen be that special? It's probably disgusting and rusted and slimy by now, anyway."

Tony stood to his full height and pouted down at Pepper. "Fine. It's special because it's the laser pen that you gave me for my birthday four years ago. It was a ridiculous, childish present, and it was the best that I'd received in a long while. That's why I want it back."

Pepper stared at him for a long moment, possibly trying to decide if he truly meant that. After a full minute, she sighed heavily and pointed a little to the left of where Tony was standing. "What's that?" she asked tiredly.

Tony caught sight of it and pulled it out. "A notebook spiral." He tossed it back in and smirked at Pepper. "Good eyes, though."

She shrugged and muttered something about getting arrested as she continued to watch him. When she gave an audible and angry huff, however, Tony looked up to find her head turned in the direction of a group of gentlemen that were walking by, throwing the pair judgmental glances as they passed. "Pricks," Pepper muttered under her breath. "They think they're so important with their business suits and briefcases, and they judge you and I when they don't even know what we're doing."

Tony shrugged. He didn't particularly care. "That's just how men like them are. They think that the wealth of their appearance matches their importance. The suit you're wearing now costs less then any of their shoes, I bet. I'd also bet that your salary is more then all of theirs combined."

"They probably don't even recognize you from all the way up there on their pedestals. I'll bet a pair of rubber boots like yours would make wading through all the bullshit at their office a lot easier."

Tony snickered. He'd never known that Pepper felt so strongly about this sort of thing. Especially since she was talked about all the time in the tabloids. Though he didn't like it, she ought to be used to that sort of thing by now.

Then again, maybe she was used to it. Being used to it didn't mean that she had to sit idle while others were talking about her. Especially when they were right there, not even attempting to be discreet about it. But Tony knew that she was too polite to tell them off. That meant that it was up to him.

He smirked, not at all afraid of rising to the challenge. Pepper, noticing his calculating silence, turned to look at Tony, promptly becoming pale when she saw his expression. "Tony, don't you dare!"

But his hands were already in the air, waving wide to get the attention of the haughty businessmen. "Hey!" he shouted. They looked up at Tony, holding their noses high. He cupped his hands on either side of his mouth to increase his volume and the distance that his voice carried. "If you don't like my galoshes, why don't you wade on over here and kiss my ass?!?"


Inspired by NatalieDee and Toothpaste For Dinner webcomics.