I worked really hard on this chapter, so it better be worth it. Sorry this is turning into such a drama, but this is really how I think that the story would play out. Sorry about the last few chapters, but you know.

Disclaimer: I don't own glee


"Ugh! I knew we should have studied more for that test!"

"Oh Kurt, you're stressing over nothing. That test was easy, and besides, you studied like a madman for that test."

"Rachel's right! You probably did fine, so stop stressin' that pretty little head of yours and relax!"

Kurt took a deep breath as he continued walking, smiling at Tina, Rachel, and Mercedes. "You guys are probably right. I'm just so stressed lately… I don't know…"

Mercedes wrapped her arm around his shoulder. "Aw, you poor thing!" Kurt eyed her for her sarcasm. "Well, we've still got half the mall to ransack for some intense retail therapy!"

Kurt smiled and laughed as the four of them continued to strut in a straight line. It was good that he was enjoying himself; at least someone was. "How you holding up, Mikey?"

I trailed behind them, barely able to see anything because of all the stuff they made me carry. We had already been to Forever 21, DSW, Guess, and probably four other places already. After a while, the stores kinda just blurred together. All I knew was that after 2 hours of 'retail therapy', I was ready to call it a day, but that didn't seem likely. Darn it! I suppose I should be happy. Kurt's getting some well deserved de-stressing time, and I guess you could say we're spending quality time together. At least with Quinn back on the Cheerios, I only have to carry four sets of bags instead of the usual five. Silver linings always make things better… NOT!

At any rate, I responded with a grunt since I didn't have the energy to form a coherent sentence. The four of them just smiled and continued on in their quest for even more things that I'm sure they did not need.

After another hour and a half, they took pity on me and let me take a rest in the food court. Kurt patted me on the head and told me that he was gonna get me bottled water or something. I couldn't really tell; I was exhausted. When I realized that Kurt was done for ten minutes, I started to look around to see where he was.

And there he was: talking to Blaine.

Yeah, usually I don't do the whole 'over-possessive-jealous-boyfriend' thing (well as far as I knew. This was my first relationship), but something about Blaine just made me wanna steal Kurt away and say, "Leggo my eggo!" When Kurt realized that I had realized that he was talking to Blaine, he walked over, Blaine in toe, and handed me the water bottle.

"Sorry Mikey! I got a little sidetracked!" Yeah, I'll bet. "You remember Blaine, right?"

He held out his hand. "Nice to see you again!"

I tried not to eye him suspiciously, though I probably ended up looking constipated as a result, and shook his hand. "Likewise."

Kurt opened his mouth to speak, but the girls, who had been making some awkward 'O-snap!' faces since Blaine walked over, beat him to the punch. "Kurt, can we talk to you for a second?"

Before he could even lift a finger in protest or questioning, they whisked him away to some far regions of the universe, leaving me sitting there, awkwardly, with the guy who's I was pretty sure had a thing for my boyfriend. Yeah…

We sat there silently for a couple of awkward seconds before Blaine finally said something. "So Kurt tells me things are going well between the two of you."

"Yeah, well, I'm doing my best, I guess…"

He eyed me with a little suspiciousness, evaluating my uncertainty. "Everything okay between you two?"

I tensed up. "Yeah, yeah, everything's fine. Couldn't be better. Ah huh, peachy keen, a-okay." His gaze had turned dagger-like, jabbing me repeatedly until I caved. "Well, I – well, um…" I looked down. "Can I ask you something personal?"

He shifted to be more comfortable. "Sure, shoot."

I took a breath. "You've been in a relationship before, right?" He nodded. "Well, I was just wondering, I mean… do you thing I'm being selfish, keeping us in the closet like this?"

He let out a sigh. "Can I be brutally honest?" I nodded. "Well, then frankly, while selfish isn't necessarily the word I'd use, more like inconvenient, but yes, I think that keeping things under wraps really isn't the best thing for your relationship, especially with all the things going on with Kurt right now. He told you about his situation with Karofsky in the locker room, yes?" I nodded again. "Well then, I just feel that with Kurt and the type of guy that he is, he needs… more, I guess. Ugh, I don't know how to describe it."

He looked down a bit, trying to gather his words. "I was in a relationship like yours, except I was the out one. It was during a stressful time in my life, and I guess, I just wanted someone to be there for me always, but we just couldn't. I realized that my partner wasn't ready, and that's why he was keeping the secret, but… I guess I wanted something more."

I look down, sad that he had confirmed everything that I had been apprehensive about for the past few weeks. I mean, all the bullying at school was at an all time high, and Kurt was really suffering… and I couldn't do anything. I mean, I did the best I could, I stopped Karofsky and the others at every chance I got, but those guys always found some spare moment when my back was turned to do something. It hurt, feeling so helpless. It just made me feel so worthless. "I-I would imagine so…"

He threw up his hands in protest. "Oh, don't get me wrong. I'm not saying this is what Kurt feels too, it's just-"

"I get it." He looked at me, a little relieved. "I've just been thinking lately. I mean, I want to come out, I mean I really care about him. It's just that my parents are nowhere near the point of acceptance. They'd flip out if they found out. But more than that…" I paused, trying to stir up the things I'd been feeling for a while, "I wouldn't be able to help Kurt anymore if I were out. I mean, I can barely help him deal with those thugs now. If I come out, not I'll be painting a target on both our backs, and things will just get worse."

"You don't know that." He looked at me sternly. "Sure, jerks will be jerks, but at least you'll have each other, right?"

I tried to look him back in the eye and see the validity of his argument. I tried so hard, believe me I did. It was just fear that was holding me back. I bit my lip, wanting so badly for things to be different, for me to have the courage that seemed to come so easy for Blaine. But that courage just wasn't there.

I looked him in the eye. "Kurt deserves someone who will be there for him, always, and while I want to come out, so badly, I just… can't." He let out a sigh, but I had another point to get across. "But I can't just sit idly by as he gets squashed every single day. What Karofsky's doing is wrong… so I have a proposition for you."


The crimson flowers that Kurt chose were beautiful. They accented the pale church walls rather nicely. The church itself, though, with its remarkably breathtaking stained-glass windows was truly awe-inspiring. Even though Kurt fully expressed his disbelief in God, his dad had grown up Catholic, and so had Carole, so a church was a must. Only trouble I had, though, was finding Kurt in all this pristine glory.

I opened the chapel doors to find him on the altar, fixing the arrangements of flowers that were already seemingly perfect. I walked down the aisle, and at my steps, he looked up at me and smiled. Then I realized what exactly was going on: me walking down the aisle, him waiting at the altar, both of us in suits… please tell me you get the picture.

As I stood face to face with him, I could see a genuine happiness in his eyes. "Excited?"

He just kept beaming and nodded. I touched my hand to his cheek as he closed his eyes and placed his own hand over mine. He pulled me in closer and hugged me. We stood there for a while just drinking in each other's aura. His aura was one of happiness, hope, and pure light. It almost brought me to tears. I wanted to tell him how I was feeling. I wanted to tell him. I wanted to.

He broke the embrace and looked at me, his smile still stretching from ear to ear. He put his hand on my cheek, silently thanking me for my support. Psh, support. Where was I when Karofsky threatened his life? He went off to go check some other aspect of the event that needed tending, leaving me there, and my heart still heavy with the burden of a secret. I'll tell him tomorrow. Let him reserve this day for happiness. He deserves it.


I was late for school again. I really need to get a car or something, because this was getting ridiculous. I'm here again, bobbing and weaving around mailboxes, trashcans, and street lamps, trying to get to an institution of pain and suffering. Oh joy.

I made it to the parking lot, hearing the first bell ring in the distance, when I saw it. No, it wasn't another dumpster full of apple cores and a plucky teenage heartthrob careening out of control. Far worse. It was Dave Karofsky harassing some poor, unfortunate soul… a soul that I recognized to be none other than Kurt Hummel. My Kurt Hummel.

He was frisking him around, intimidating him and looking hostile, so that was enough to make me snap. I walked straight up behind him as he raised his fist, turned him around and started punching him right in the face. After a couple of blows, he fought back. Then after a couple of hits, everything went black.

Black as coal.


I woke up, my head spinning. No delusional feeling. No euphoric hallucinations. Nothing. Just a sharp pain around my eye and other places on my chest and arms. I tried to get up, but a hand stopped me. A familiar gentle hand. My angel stood by my side with an ice pack ready in his hands.

He smiled lightly and put the ice pack to my left eye. I smirked at him. "Haven't we been here before?"

He giggled. "Yes, well, we've got to stop meeting like this." He brushed my cheek, the sweetest sadness in his eyes. He didn't want me to see this though, so he tried to cover up with more humor. "You look like Prince Zuko from Avatar."

I laughed. "Does that make you Mai?"

He smiled. "I don't think I could ever be that depressing."

We made eye contact again, and shock waves went down my spine. I had to tell him. I couldn't keep it in any longer. "I need to tell you something."

I sat up slowly, removing the ice pack from my eye and turned to face him straight on. "You're not happy."

He looked at me, surprised, and opened his mouth to protest, but I continued.

"You're not happy. You don't like how you have to hide your relationship with me. You don't like how all these people… how one person in particular… treats you. You don't like how all the people in power here don't seem to care and won't do anything about it. You want to be free. I can see it, and it kills me every day. It kills me how I can't help you. It kills me that you're hurting so much. It kills me that I can't be there to for you just because I'm too afraid of being put out."

He just looked at me, his eyes showing surprise and confusion as to where this was going.

"I want what's best for you. I want to protect you. That's why I talked to the headmaster at Dalton Academy." At that name, his surprise peaked. "I showed him and their show choir director videos of you singing, dancing, even footage from last year's Cheerleading Nationals. They want you at that school. They're willing to offer a full scholarship to you, provided you join the choir." The shock from the news paralyzed him. I took his hand. "I talked to your mom and dad. They want what's best for you, just like I do. I can't stand to see you suffering here. I want what's best for you, even if that means removing me from the picture."

At that he shook his head, waking from the trance I out him under. "Wh-What do you mean 'remove me from the picture'?"

I sighed. "You need someone who will be open with you. Someone to love you every second of everyday. Someone who isn't afraid of what others say. You can find sanctuary at Dalton, and you can find this love with Blaine. I see the way you look at him. It's the way you used to look at me before this whole mess spilled out." Tears began to trickle down his cheeks. I put my hands on his cheek and tried to hold back my own tears. "I love you. I love you very, very much, but I'm just not ready be what you need right now. I know this must be hard, I know you'll want to resist, but just for now, please be open to this. We both need time to sort out who we are. You can do that with Blaine and at Dalton. I need time to figure out who I am and if I'm ready to handle all this. Just promise me that you'll go through with this. Promise me that you'll try to move on with this. Promise me…"

Our foreheads met, and our eyes closed. I drank in what would be our last moment together. I took in his breath, his smell, his essence, knowing that after that moment that he would not be mine and I would not be his. As we looked into each other's eyes, we kissed one final time before he looked at me and nodded in agreement.


I kept to myself, looking at the floor, not even bothering to cover up my distress. Mercedes and Tina noticed how downcast I was, but before they could inquire why, Kurt walked in.

"Oh Kurt!" Mr. Schue looked excited. "I was wondering if I could talk to you about a solo for sectionals."

"Before you do, I have something to say. I wanted to thank you all for what you did at my parent's wedding. It really means a lot to me to know that I've grown to have such good friends here, which is why it's so hard for me to tell you that I'm leaving."

Everybody's attention sharpened. They all looked shocked and confused.

"I'm transferring to Dalton Academy."

Finn stood up. "What the hell, dude? You could've talked to me first!"

"I'm sorry, but it's something I have to do.

It took a second for the news to set in.

Tina finally said something. "Kurt, you can't just leave."

"I'm sorry. I just don't feel safe here anymore."

"We can protect you." Sam looked over, genuinely concerned.

"We can form like a secret service or something."

"Yeah!"

Mercedes stood up, not saying a word, and hugged him with such an intense feeling of comfort and understanding.

Rachel looked at me. "Aren't you going to say anything? You're boyfriend is leaving!"

I just continued to look down. Kurt broke Mercedes hug, thankful that she understood.

"I'm sorry but I have to go."

He turned, tears in his eyes as he went to the door. He stopped at the doorway and turned back one last time. He turned his head and looked straight at me. "I'm really going to miss all of you."

And then he was gone.


I'll try to write more soon. Busy weekend coming up. Tell me what you think... BUT PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! I SWEAR IT GETS BETTER!