A/N2 - So my friend found this really awesome picture on dA, and she showed it to me, and I thought that some of you might wanna see it to even though it has no relevance to the story. Oh yeah, and it's not drawn by me (I find stickmen challenging). Just take out the spaces: browse. deviantart. com/?order=24#/d3ckyrt
Cas can almost see relief wash over Dean, and for a moment hope flares up. Then he seems to realise the implication of Cas' statement, and his expression changes indecipherably as he asks, "You mean, you're in love with me?"
"Yes," Cas says quietly. "I'm sorry."
Dean laughs disbelievingly, and Cas has to stop himself from wincing.
"Cas..."
Suddenly, Dean is silent, as if he has lost the ability to convey the maelstrom of emotions whirling within him. He takes an unsure step closer to Cas, and Cas holds his breath anxiously.
Reaching out, Dean softly places his hand on Cas' cheek. He runs his fingers across the smooth skin of the angel's cheekbone before trailing down to ghost over his lips, and Cas' eyes involuntarily flutter shut at the feeling.
Gently, Dean lifts Cas' face and Cas is caught in those deep hazel eyes.
Cas is still confused, and doesn't know what emotion he can see swirling in the hunter's eyes. But he knows that Dean can read every feeling that flickers through Cas' own eyes, and although he wants to look away, to stop him from seeing the extent of Cas' love for him, he can't tear away from that absorbing gaze.
For a moment, they stay like that, each trapped by the other's eyes.
Then Dean pulls away slightly, and Cas feels a stab of loss.
"God dammit Cas, I don't deserve this. I don't deserve you!"
"Dean-"
"Dammit Cas, this isn't how it was supposed to be! You were meant to fall in love with some pretty, uncomplicated girl, and live the good life. Never have to be trapped with people like us, having to fight monsters!"
"Dean, just-"
"Last time we went on a hunt I nearly got you killed, remember? All because I was too distracted by trying not to let you be hurt again! Everything, everything that is precious to me, I destroy. It's-"
"Just listen for once, Dean!"
Cas speaks quietly, but in his voice Dean can hear a trace of the authority Cas had when he was an angel, and he shuts up.
Cas leans his forehead against Dean's, and sighs quietly. Dean feels the small puff of air, and for a moment all he can think about is how close he is to Cas.
"You're not perfect, and you've made mistakes, but who hasn't? Look at me, look what I did to Anna..." Cas winces at the memory of his betrayal, and Dean has to stop himself from reaching out to hold him.
"But that doesn't mean you aren't worthy. Considering how much you have done, how many people you have saved, it is I who doesn't deserve your love!"
"Cas..."
"So unless this is just a protracted way of saying 'I'm sorry, I don't feel the same way,' then you need to rethink your opinion of yourself!"
By the time Cas finishes, his eyes are flashing righteously, and Dean can almost see the shadow of his wings behind him again. He smiles. "You're right. I'm sorry,"
"Right about which?" Cas asks, and for a moment panic flares up in his eyes. He catches his lower lip between his teeth and looks up worriedly. He looks so cute that it takes most of Dean's self restraint not to kiss him right now.
Dean's smile widens, and he leans forward so that their noses are almost touching. "Guess," he breathes.
And then he gently pulls the angel closer and presses his lips to his.
