Birthday Present: Chapter Eleven
AN: sorry for updating so late in the day!
Hermione stood in the hallway a few minutes. What had she done. Why had she done it. Couldn't she just have fallen for him? Couldn't she have told his brother no. If she hadn't been dating Fred would she have done anything differently? Was it worth it, breaking her best friend to go out with his brother?
"Hermione?" the call tore into her warring thoughts "What are you doing, standing there?"
"I- I was on my way to the pitch Luna" she choked a little on her words "I'd been walking with Ron, but he uh decided he was too ill to go to practice today"
"Well didn't you want to walk him to the infirmary" Neville asked gripping what she could only guess was a pot of tumbling weeds. They were reaching out attempting to trip him, but the wizard had good control over them.
"He told me not to come," she said in a whisper "He really wants to be alone for a little while."
"Oh," Luna said "Like how you've wanted to be alone for a couple weeks."
Neville had the good graces to look embarrassed "A lot like that Luna."
"I suppose we should go onto the pitch, and let Harry know he won't be coming." The boy offered and began walking.
Hermione trailed behind him a bit, but Luna chose to fall in step with her.
"Are you sure you're feeling alright as well Hermione?"
"I'm fine Luna"
The two were quiet for a second and then "No you aren't."
"It's just that Ron and I had a row is all" she said dismissing the girl.
"Well I can see that, but there's something else as well."
Hermione felt her stomach drop. She never liked when Luna said things like that, the girl was either revealing your soul to the world or talking utter nonsense. Sometimes it was a winning combination of the two.
"It's like something's eating you, from the inside out. Perhaps you have a family of nargles stuck in there?" There was that winning combination.
"Something like that Luna, don't worry I'm dealing with it best I can"
"So long as you know."
Harry hadn't been happy to hear about Ron, but she hadn't stuck around long enough to explain. The halls were filled with students, but she'd been carrying around the cloak and map with her like they were her lifeline. The second it told her the hag's hall was empty she ducked into the tunnel.
There had been times the walk to Hogsmeade felt like it would never end, but this time she was flying. Her head down, and the cloak wrapped loosely around her shoulders, she ran like her life depended it.
In no time at all she was in the apartment, tearing off the cloak and gasping- partially because she had just run quite some distance and partially because she'd cried the whole way. Silence greeted her. In the pit of her stomach she knew he wasn't here, but the witch tore through the apartment regardless. Empty, not even George was there.
It meant he was probably downstairs, but she couldn't go down and risk any customers recognizing her. She took a glance at the clock and let out a sob. At best he would come up for lunch, until then she would have to wait.
As though in a trance, Hermione straightened, laid the cloak and her bag over the twin's maroon sofa and started about the room. She set a pot to boil first, and pulled out two bags of tea. Then she shuffled into Fred's room, pulling off the button down and skirt, she'd chosen to wear that day, as she went.
After a minutes rummaging she found a pair of shorts with elastic in them (thank merlin she wasn't the size of Lavender, or they would have never stayed up) and one of Molly's infamous Christmas sweaters, embroidered with a large yellow 'F'. She pulled the top blanket off Fred's bed and wrapped it around her shoulders in order to go back into the kitchen.
Hermione moved through the apartment like that, gathering her favorite things on the couch until she had what she imagined was the most comfortable spot possible. Soft Italian music floated from the record player and through the room, while a pile of books waited on her next to the couch. Along with that a pot filled with tea and a cup sat on the table.
She sighed in content as she sunk into the cushions and pulled the blanket tighter around her shoulders. This was an act she'd pulled a few times in the summers after Hogwarts, when the pain of missing her friends and magic pulled at her heart. It was something that had never failed to calm her thoughts, and she was fairly certain it was more the action of pulling everything together that helped her rather than what she got out of it.
Admittedly it made her feel a bit like a silly child afterwards, but while she was snuggled up Hermione could proudly say to anyone who asked that she technically still was a child (by muggle terms at the very least) and therefore had the right to take the occasion to act like one. The witch had nearly forgotten all about her little method of comfort now that she had Fred. In fact, thinking about it now, Fred was causing her to lose a lot of what she usually did.
She used to spend a few nights a month giggling through the curtains in either her dorm or Ginny's, whispering to each other about every subject under the moon until they both fell asleep. Now she couldn't remember having a single one of those nights since she started up with the older Weasley. He'd also unintentionally altered her studying patterns. Before she would spend half her time on schoolwork and helping her friends with their own. Now her grades had fallen (though not significantly) and she'd practically abandoned Harry this year. No wonder he'd fled to using a dumb book for help in class.
She'd left the boy who lived to fend for himself, and she'd broken his best friend along the way.
Hermione tried to squeeze her eyes shut then, as though it would push out her invasive thoughts. The brightest witch of her age furrowed farther into the blankets and pillows she'd surrounded herself with, like a child. For the first time in her life it wasn't working. Putting her 'safety nest' together had only put off her tormented mind for a while.
Now she was left wondering if it was because she wasn't a child anymore. This silly act could not fool an adult mind, not when at all other times it was being forced to face the prospect of her worst fears.
That sounded right for a moment. Her mind had grown out of that, she told herself, until yet another idea came swimming to her.
Maybe it was like when she was younger and her mother gave her a slice of pie one day. It was amazing on its own, but after she'd had it with ice cream on her birthday, it just wasn't as good alone. She'd grown too used to Fred doing this for her, and it just wasn't as good without him now.
"Hermione! Hermione" she jerked awake, to a voice that was much too feminine.
"Angelina" she croaked and rubbed at her eyes, sure that they were red from having cried herself into a nap. "Where is Fred"
"Are you okay?" The older witch asked, evading her question.
"Where is Fred?" her repetition did nothing.
She cast a quick warming spell on Hermione's cold cup of tea and pressed it into the girl's hands, before moving to sit next to her on the couch.
"Please tell me."
"Drink something first, Godric knows how long you've been up here."
She glanced out the window then. It hadn't felt like it, but she must have slept some time. The record player had shut off and it was pitch black outside. With one more look at the worried girl she gulped down her tea.
Halfway through the cup she pulled it from her lips and shuddered. It wasn't the same after it had gone cold, no charm would change that.
"Please explain, you're scaring me"
"It's nothing to be scared about. I've been down in the shop all day working for the twins, because they had to make a sort of emergency trip to Romania with their mum. Charlie got an injury and when it happened they weren't sure how serious it was. They've been fire calling me all afternoon, he's got a cut on his stomach, but it's not as deep as they originally thought. The twins said they would be home by tomorrow afternoon."
She breathed out a sigh "By tomorrow afternoon?" she asked.
"Yes, they promised, and I'm sure Fred will be thrilled to see you."
The brown eyed witch didn't say anything more, only hoped she'd last that long.
The door slammed hard enough for him to feel his bed rattle. Ron just huffed and rolled over, his friend had been coming in and out of the dorms all day. The first time he'd yelled at him for missing practice, until slow realization that something else had happened today overtook him. Since then Harry had only come in to tell him he needed to get up, and bring him food. Now however, it seemed he was fed up.
"What happened Mate, you've been moping around all day and I can't find Hermione anywhere to tell me otherwise."
He hadn't spoken a word since he'd left Hermione in the hallway, and his voice came out scratchier than he'd anticipated "She shot me down Harry, and she's known I liked her probably longer than I have"
"Ron, she really wanted to like you back, but for years she's looked at you like an older brother." He began "The last thing she wants in the world is to hurt you."
"Yeah she just about said all that" he said pushing down his covers and standing from his bed.
"She can't help not liking you just like you can't help but like her. It's not a fault in personality, sometimes it's just…" he trailed "…. The way people click."
"That doesn't help me" he said pulling off his practice shirt and moving to his trunk.
"It's not something you can help Ron, the muggles call it chemistry. Sometimes being attracted to a person is just chemical, and not something you can stop by thinking about it."
The chosen one was rambling, and this wasn't the first time he'd had to endure some bullshitted speech from one of his friends about how there was nothing wrong with him. In fact, it wasn't even the first time today.
"Well chemistry can kiss my arse, because I know why 'Mione doesn't like me back"
Harry looked taken aback, but Ron only continued to pull on a jumper and jeans.
"Why do you think that is?"
"She's seeing someone else mate. You didn't think I wouldn't notice that now a days she has the cloak and map more than you do"
"I- she wouldn't"
"Don't lie, I know you wouldn't let her unless you knew what she was doing" he sighed and pulled on his cloak "But do you know who it is?"
"Ron I really can't tell-"
He cut him off "I don't want to know, honestly if I did I would just blow up every time I see him in the halls. I just need to know if you know who it is."
"No," the younger boy shook his head "I'm sorry I don't"
His shoulders slumped "It's worse than I thought then. I understand her not telling me, so I wouldn't get upset, but if she didn't tell you it means she's dating someone we don't like."
"Hey, Hermione's smart, she wouldn't get mixed up with anyone rude" Harry defended, immediately feeling bad about his lie. At this point he'd gotten so used to lying for the witch that it had seemed like the best thing to do.
"Oh yeah, you don't seem to remember the way she dressed herself up for McLaggen at the Christmas party. But if it was anyone like him she'd have told you, and I think I know who she'd be dating and wouldn't tell you."
"Oh yeah" Harry said, anticipating the worst of answers "who?"
"Well I don't know specifically who" Ron started ears tinging in crimson "But I think he's a slyhtherin."
Portkeys always made him want to puke, the last time he'd needed one was when they went to the world cup. George knew how much they bothered him and the two had made plans to stick behind the rest of the group for a moment, just so Fred could run and puke without anyone taking notice. Back then he'd thanked his twin and George had laughed at him.
"We wouldn't want anyone specific to see would we?" he'd chuckled and Fred shoved him. They teased one another about girls a lot back then, but usually they were fancies that were forgotten within a month or so. He'd kept this one a secret from his brother for almost a half a year now, but he'd gotten figured out the second they went to pick Hermione up. Back then he'd hoped it would go away soon, so his twin wouldn't notice, but it hadn't. So George had stopped teasing him- mostly.
Now it wasn't quite so bad. On the way to Romania he'd figured that he was so used to apparition that the sensation had been numbed a bit. He'd puked of course, but had eaten just fine right afterwards.
This time he didn't puke at all. George and he landed on the bridge most students took on their way into Hogsmeade (their mother had stayed behind to see to Charlie for just a few more days) and he'd took off running, pushing down the gnawing in his stomach that said he needed to vomit.
Once more he heard his twin laugh at him as he took off.
"I suppose today's your day off then!"
"She's been gone all night again" Lavender said, before Harry could open his mouth upon reaching the Gryffindor table. "I don't know where, but I saw her running through the halls yesterday and she looked desperate for something."
Ginny shifted next to him, and both were glad Ron was not with them.
"Thanks Lav" the younger witch said and began pulling her boyfriend out of the great hall.
"She finally went to see Fred" He huffed, as they walked out the two. "Two weeks he's been sending letters, worried sick about her and she refused to go, but now when we need her here…"
"Oh come off it Harry" she admonished "You can't blame her, she was just as hurt as Ron was by what happened yesterday. She needed someone to comfort her."
"So did Ron" he hissed and yanked his arm out of Ginny's grasp "She hasn't been thinking about many people other than herself lately. She's making you and me cover for her, and she's tearing her best friend apart. We don't have time for all these silly love games Gin. Death eaters are on the loose, Voldemort is gaining in on us, and Dumbledore is doing everything he can, but it isn't enough."
She took a step back from him then, stunned. Everyone could feel it coming, but it was one thing to know about it, and another to have someone yell it in your face.
Harry watched, terrified as her face morphed from a moment of alarm into disgust. "And we haven't been doing the same to her!" She hissed back. "As much as you'd like to think of yourself as the victim in this, we have asked her to do the exact same thing for us!"
"We never really asked her, she might not even know!" he said meekly, suddenly looking as scared as she had been moments before.
"Please Harry, she told me she'd noticed us on the map all week in that closet on the third floor. We haven't exactly been discreet." She snorted.
The boy who lived stood straight then, trying to appear as confident as he could in front of his girlfriend. "I-I maybe your right, but she still needs to think about what she's doing, before she hurts Ron further."
Ginny shrunk then, her anger diminishing as quickly as it grew. "Trust me, I don't think Hermione does much else than think about what she has to do."
Between her afternoon nap, and what she had going on in her head, Hermione hadn't fallen asleep until two in the morning. She doubted it would have been that soon had she not given in and taken a sleeping draught. Now that the sun was glaring down at her through the curtains and something was shaking her, her body was fighting to stay asleep. Her brain kept grasping at the vague dream of her running through the rain as a child, trying to hold onto it.
When she finally rolled over, accepting her fate, she was awake in seconds and jumping out of the bed. Hands grasped at her back, letting go and grabbing at her again like she would disappear.
"Merlin Hermione, I missed you" Fred breathed, head buried deep in her curls.
"I'm sorry" she whispered back, lips pressed against his shoulder. "I'm sorry for everything I've done" her last word came out with a sob and he hushed her.
"Don't apologize right now, don't even speak. I just want to hold you for a bit" the red head requested, patting her hair down. "We'll deal with everything else in a few hours"
"Okay"
AN: Kind of short in comparison to my last few chapters, but when I actually set my *goals* for this story (I do flowcharts and tree maps and shit) my chapters were supposed to be between 6-9 pages each and 2,500-4,200 words each. The past few have all been pushing the max I set. Actually, I think I went over my max one time so far, but that really isn't something I enforce on myself unless I feel like I'm about to go into a writing block stage and don't want to fall behind on my chapters.
Not that I feel one coming (writers 6th sense) but I've been out of it (and by 'it' I mean acting as a functioning human being, not just writing) lately, and classes start this Monday for me, so I'm pretty sure the next few chapters will not be coming out as lengthy as I've been giving you all. Sorry.
Thank you all for reading what I've put up so far, I'm still kind of young, but I've been writing for nearly five years now. I started using an old ipad my family bought because I couldn't afford my own computer and it feels like so long ago. I like to think that I've grown in my skills and having people that follow this and take the time to leave comments is very validating.
Love you all, Mel
