AN: Hello lovelies!
I'm trying to get into the rhythm of updating once a month, at least, so please bear with me!
Also, I'm thinking of rewriting chapters one and two, since reading them makes me cringe in shame now. What's your opinion on that?
Thanks to all my readers and reviewers! You guys make my day, especially when I get new reviews!
Aaaand, well, that's about all I can think of. So yup, on with the story!
Disclaimer: Don't own Naruto.
"talking in Japanese"
'thinking'
'Inner Sakura'
Violence Is Not The Answer
Chapter Twelve
Of herbicide, bangs, and uncontrollable laughing fits
"Besides, look at that face… Are you kidding me?"
Sakura turned to look at Pein, taking in his rather above average, piercing laden looks, not seeing the problem. He raised an eyebrow in response.
"I'm not going to date some loser who's more attracted to a magnet than he is to me."
Sakura took a minute to process this before doubling over in laughter.
Sakura's stomach ached from laughing, and she tried desperately to calm herself - she was starting to need oxygen again. Her laughter died down gradually and she straightened from her position of leaning against a nearby wall – oh wait, she had been leaning against Kisame. 'Mm, muscles…' Her thoughts were derailed once again as she caught sight of Pein's slightly disgruntled expression.
She could just imagine him having that exact same expression as his face was glued to a massive, horseshoe shaped magnet. Said mental image made her collapse once again into peals of laughter, and Kisame was forced to hold her up as her knees weakened from laughing too hard.
Kisame wrapped his arms around Sakura, holding the pinkette up, trying to ignore the blush on his face as he held an armful of shaking, hysterical and attractive girl close to him. Giving himself a violent mental shake – he was Hoshigaki Kisame, he shouldn't be blushing – he decided to take advantage of the situation and enjoy the physical proximity while he could, drawing an oblivious Sakura slightly closer to him as he chuckled.
Feeling the vibration of his laugh made Sakura glance up at his face, and the sight of his fading blush – 'Red plus blue equals purple!' Inner crowed – was enough to send her into hysterics, again, which meant that she had a rather painful stitch in her side, not to mention the breathless wheezing and tears of laughter running down her face.
Pein's eyebrows furrowed slightly as he observed Kisame holding Sakura way too closely to be appropriate, which caused Konan, who had retreated back to his side, to smirk slightly and nudge him with her elbow, prompting him to do something. He stepped forward, considering possible plans to draw Sakura away, preferably something suitably violent and maiming to Kisame. He was just contemplating the success rate of using his Rinnegan on Kisame without Sakura being caught in the crossfire when the chiming of a bell interrupted his thoughts, signalling the end of lunch and warning the students that they had five minutes to get to class.
"Sakura, what is your next class?" Pein asked, as he firmly gripped Kisame's arm and yanked it away from Sakura, relishing in Kisame's slight wince (which was actually more from the look in Pein's eyes than from any pain he actually felt).
"…Aha…haha, ha… Wait a minute…" Sakura panted heavily, trying to calm herself, before rummaging in her backpack, still slightly out of breath. After a few seconds, she withdrew her slightly crumpled timetable. "Erm, Art, with Anko-sensei." Her brows furrowed. "Um, where's the art building?"
"I'll take you there." Pein's tone brooked no arguments.
However, Zetsu disregarded this and stepped forward, saying, "I should escort her to her class, since I brought her here. Besides, my next class is near the art block."
The ensuing stare-off supercharged the atmosphere, and everyone present could almost see the testosterone that filled the air. Everyone except Sakura, that is, since she was busy straightening herself up from her mad laughing fit, oblivious to the clash of wills that was occurring quite literally over her head.
"Hm? Eh, we only have three minutes left! Zetsu, you said your next lesson was nearby, right? Could you show me the way, please?" Sakura asked sweetly.
"Of course." Zetsu smiled a rare smile and led the way, pausing only to shoot a smug glance over his shoulder at Pein.
Konan pouted slightly and rolled her eyes, murmuring to Pein, "You're such a loser."
Pein, who had already suffered a grievous blow to his ego, scowled.
The rest of the Akatsuki slowly moved to leave the rooftop, uncaring if they arrived late to their classes. Kakuzu lazily pulled up his hood and mask, snatching his cloak up off the floor and slipping it on with only a soft rustle. Hidan followed him out, loudly declaring, "I don't fucking understand what the fuck is so good about that bitch! I mean, sure, she's cute, but that doesn't explain why the hell they're fighting over her."
Itachi, who was trailing sedately after Kisame, stole a glance at aforementioned best friend, who was slightly despondent from being separated from Sakura. The Uchiha heir couldn't help but silently agree with Hidan (though he'd never admit it). He simply couldn't comprehend why some of his fellow Akatsuki members were so smitten with her.
He mentally shrugged. Either they'd see the error of their ways and realize she wasn't all that special, or he'd eventually see what they saw in her that was so unique. Only time would tell.
As Sakura walked down the corridors of the school next to Zetsu, she realized that she was breaking her earlier vow to herself to not be alone with said plant dude if she could help it.
'Oh well, too late for that,' she shrugged.
'Why are you so flippant about this?! Do you not notice the way he's looking at you?!' Inner screamed at her.
'Relax Inner, you're obviously paranoid, he's not looking at us in any-' Sakura froze mid-sentence, as she glanced at Zetsu, only to realise he was looking at her rather blankly, his face void of expression. It was actually very, very creepy.
Sakura suddenly felt like a tiny, fluffy, adorable rabbit staring into the eyes of a big, bad wolf.
In the blink of an eye, Sakura found herself backed up against a wall, Zetsu towering over her, arms pinned on either side of her, thwarting her escape (and/or violent retaliation).
"Er… Um… What are you doing?" She asked nervously, as Zetsu continued his empty stare.
One of his hands slowly moved to brush through her pink hair, the silky strands sliding smoothly through his fingers.
"You have oddly coloured hair."
Sakura blinked at the unexpected statement, especially from Black Zetsu. "Um, yes, I do," 'Thank you, Captain Obvious,' she continued in her mind.
"I have oddly coloured hair." Zetsu continued.
"Um, okay…" Sakura was officially baffled. What was he doing? This was creeping her out. It wasn't that she minded the close proximity – he was really quite attractive – but his mannerisms were discomfiting and the fact that Black Zetsu (who Sakura was convinced was creepier and less restrained than White Zetsu) was entirely in control at the moment wasn't doing much to help put her at ease. Quite the contrary, really.
"You have the colouring of a plant, and well…" Cue creepy smile, showcasing his sharp teeth, "I am a plant."
Sakura stared at Zetsu's face for a few seconds (specifically, keeping an eye on his teeth), and processed this. He was hitting on her. He had sharp teeth. He was a cannibal. He was close to her. He had sharp teeth.
'ARGHHH! THIS IS LIKE JURAISSIC PARK FOR PLANTS! SOMEONE BRING OUT THE HERBICIDE!' Inner screamed, obviously reaching the same conclusion at the same time as Sakura, and panicking.
'I DON'T HAVE ANY!'
'WHY NOT?!'
'WELL IT'S NOT LIKE I MAKE A HABIT OUT OF CARRYING HERBICIDE AROUND WITH ME!'
'WELL YOU SHOULD! AGHHH HE'S GONNA EAT US! I'M TOO BEAUTIFUL TO DIE!'
'SHUT UP INNER, IT'S HARD TO THINK WITH YOU SCREAMING IN THE BACKGROUND!'
'IT'S NOT LIKE YOU'RE NOT SCREAMING! ANYWAY, I THINK THIS IS A PERFECTLY LEGIT REASON FOR PANICKING, WE ARE FUCKING UNARMED!'
'MORON, WE DON'T HAVE HERBICIDE, BUT WE HAVE FISTS!'
Sakura snapped out of her momentary freak out and slammed the heel of her hand into Zetsu's face. As he stumbled back in pain, she executed a perfect spinning kick that sent him flying across the corridor into the wall. The fury in her expression faded and her chest heaved from adrenaline.
"Whoa…" An awed voice sounded.
Sakura's head snapped in the direction the voice came from, only to find two boys standing to the side, the blonde staring at her in awe, while the redhead looked on in mild surprise. She examined the Akatsuki cloaks they wore, and concluded that they must be the two members who had been absent on the rooftop, though their names escaped her.
"That was so cool, un! I was gonna step in to save you, un, since you looked so scared being cornered by Zetsu and all, I thought he was gonna eat you, un. And then you were like snap! And wham! And bang! …un." The blonde babbled excitedly.
"…Bang?" Sakura asked, slightly blindsided due to surprise.
"Yup, un! You're a bang, un!" The blonde replied cheerfully.
"Art is a bang, un!" He continued happily.
He gasped, as if he had just been struck by a great revelation. "You're art, un!"
The redhead face palmed.
Sasori and Deidara, as they had introduced themselves, guided her to her classroom, and waited outside for her to enter the room. Deidara had a large grin on his face, as he said, "See you later, then, Sakura-chan! In fact, you might see us way sooner than you think!" He winked.
Sasori rolled his eyes, exasperated with his friend's antics. "See you," He nodded to Sakura. 'She would make a lovely puppet, so beautiful, like a doll,' he thought absently.
Back in the corridor…
Zetsu blinked dazedly, stars still swimming in his vision. White Zetsu groaned slightly as he sat up from his previous position, slumped on the floor, his head propped up uncomfortably by the wall. The tell-tale ticklish trickle on his upper lip alerted him to the fact that his nose was bleeding. Black Zetsu sneered at White Zetsu for being a wimp, only to be ignored.
As Zetsu gingerly rubbed his sternum, where Sakura's kick had landed, White Zetsu murmured, "See, I told you your idea wouldn't work, we're going with mine next time."
Sakura entered the class apprehensively, bracing herself for a scolding for being late for class. However, the teacher's desk, which was in her direct line of sight upon entering the art room, was empty. She exhaled in relief. The teacher must be late too.
Her attention was then drawn to the room itself. Sinks lined one wall of the class, caked with dried paint that students hadn't washed off properly, and cabinets lined the other three walls. A door was set right behind the teacher's desk, which Sakura assumed led to some storage room for art supplies or something. The base colour of the walls was white, though someone had thought to redecorate it with blood red paint, making it look like a massacre had occurred in the room, as the various splatters around the room were extremely realistic.
'Either she watches a lot of horror movies, or the decorator is a psychotic mass murderer in disguise.'
'True… I like it!' Inner decided. 'It reminds me of good times.' She grinned, as memories of their previously regular street fights flashed across Sakura's mind.
"Hey, Sakura! Over here!" Ino's voice broke Sakura out of her thoughts, as she saw Ino, Hinata, and company sitting around a large square table in the middle of the room, which had various paint stains and pencil markings on it. Ino was madly gesturing to an empty chair in between her and Naruto.
"You feeling better now?" Ino grinned, as she rested her cheek on the palm of her hand, eyes glinting mischievously.
"Yeah…" Sakura said somewhat bashfully, resolving to keep the violence to a minimum, especially when in public.
"You should be, dattebayo! Seriously Sakura-chan, you must have worked out like a years' worth of frustration in that slap! That bastard was like bam! On the floor! And his eyes were so wide, I've never seen anyone's eyes get that wide…" Naruto chattered hyperactively as he used his hands to emphasize his point.
"Ara, Naruto-chan! So much noise while in the classroom…" A seductive voice sounded, before a pair of arms slid around him from behind. Naruto let out a rather girlish yell and fell out of the chair as he tried to scramble out of the way of said pair of arms. Sakura, along with many other people seated at the table, tensed. They hadn't noticed the arrival of the woman.
Said woman stood up from her slightly crouched position, and placed her hands on her hips, grinning ferally. She sported dark greyish-purple hair, put up in a spiky ponytail with wayward bangs, and had a long tan trenchcoat which was buttoned rather sloppily down the front, under which Sakura could see copious amounts of fishnet.
"Alright maggots, it's down to work! Let's see, we'll do some sketching to start with, then we'll examine the life and works of one of my favourite artists, Vincent Van Gogh! Cut off his ear to woo a woman, now that's how to impress a lady…" Her wide grin never faltered as she rambled on, striding to the front of the class where her desk was located.
Sakura blinked. This was Anko-sensei?
'Well, she does fit the look of a psychotic mass murderer… if you add some foaming at the mouth and random twitching,' Inner felt the need to give her input.
Sakura mentally shrugged. Inner had a point.
"Oh, and I forgot! There are two people I want y'all to meet! They're second year students, but due to some idiotic tendencies on their part, they're helping out with this class for the rest of the year." Turning to the door leading to the art supply room, Anko called, "Enter, my sex slaves!" After finishing her sentence, she cackled.
"…This is all your fucking fault."
"What, Danna? It's not my fault that the art studio wasn't equipped to handle my art, un. Besides, you're the one that took apart the top floor to assemble your dolls, un."
"For the last time, they're puppets, idiot."
Deidara's face brightened as he caught sight of Sakura. Stepping clear of the doorway leading to the art supply room, he waved enthusiastically.
"Hey, Sakura-chan, un!"
Sasori gave a lazy wave.
"One hour," Ino muttered to Sakura out of the corner of her mouth, as Sakura waved back weakly, "I leave you alone for one hour, and you manage to befriend the most insane, homicidal, vicious artists in the school!"
Sakura wisely decided not to mention where she'd been and who she'd met during lunch.
AN2:If anyone's wondering, Anko's coat is buttoned up because the board of directors forced her to do it. Something about being too distracting during class… oh, and not being appropriate for a school, of course.
I'm having waaay too much fun writing Konan, Anko and Zetsu! (Laughs evilly.)
Ah, Zetsu. One of my favourite characters. Don't really know how he became some creepy horror movie star, but hey, he's awesome, isn't he?
Review please!
XOXO
Ice
