Yet another chapter of mine. I have nothing to say, other than the fact that I'm currently wearing faded blue jeans and a rainbow sweater.


"So, uh…what now?" Jin asked.

I shook my head, shrugging. I didn't even know what I was supposed to be doing period, let alone knowing trivial things such as how to entertain a jovial wind demon.

"Why don' yeh talk much?" he pressed. "Seems ta me like yeh just answer anythin' yeh can with gestures. Yeh can' express much with gestures, boyo, so why don' yeh talk?"

"Boyo?" I echoed, unfamiliar with the term. "What does that mean?"

"Yeh know, just kind o' like a buddy or somethin'."

Must be part of his dialect, I figured. I suppose my accent, for I surely have one, to him, at least, seems no less strange.

I nodded, musing over my own words. Did they actually sound as strange to him as his voice sounded to me? It was an unusual thought. Perhaps they did, or perhaps not. I wouldn't know without asking him, which I was assuredly not going to do.

"So, why don' yeh talk? C'mon, yeh can at least answer."

I shrugged.

"It's a habit, I guess. Words aren't really my thing," I explained.

"But yer words seem so nice!" he protested. "Each one o' them seems chosen 'specially for that one sentence, an' like if someone else said them they wouldn' seem the same. Do yeh know what I mean?"

I shook my head. Jin seemed so random at times…

"See? Yeh still aren' talkin'!"

'I'm sorry. As I already said, I don't particularly care for talking."

"Sure thin', ice prince."

"Would you please stop calling me that?" I asked. "I've already told you that I'm no royalty, and I certainly don't deserve to be treated as such."

"Yeh're a weird one, Touya," he commented in a resigned voice.

I said nothing, turning away. It wasn't that I was annoyed with the cheerful demon; I just wanted my peace and quiet. Shishi was the only one who was allowed to intrude upon my personal solitude, and even then he knew better than to jabber at me when I was caught up in my thoughts. Not that Shishi ever jabbered. No, the way he talked was simply too entrancing –or relevant—to be jabbering.

"Touya?"

"What is it?" I asked, trying hard to keep myself from snapping at him.

"Yeh just stopped talkin'."

I shrugged again, pointedly taking a step away from him.

"Why don' yeh like me?" he asked. "Yeh just keep tryin' ta ignore me, an' I don' know why."

"It's not that I don't like you," I told him. "I just need my space."

"Yeah, yeah… But yeh don' have ta be so rude about it."

"What?" I exclaimed in disbelief. Me? Rude? He was the one who came right up to me, then proceeded to pester me despite all attempts to get rid of him!

"Yeh don' have ta be so rude," he repeated.

"No, I mean why are you calling me rude?" I asked, barely managing to keep my composure.

"'Cause yeh're bein' mean ta me."

"No, Jin," I sighed. "I just told you that I like to have my alone time."

"But why have it in the middle o' a nice chitchat?" he pressed.

"If you recall correctly, I had been standing on my own, not bothering you at all, before you came over here and starting talking to me," I reminded him.

His ears drooped.

"Yeah, I guess…"

This time, I didn't follow him as he walked away, nor did I allow myself to look at him, for fear that his forlorn expression would alter my decision. I truly did feel bad about brushing the wind youkai off so callously, but what I said was true. I still hadn't had my time to think yet, and he had no need to bother me while I was trying to do so.

There is little to friendship that I understand, I realized. Yet from what I have seen, it is a wonderful thing to be treasured always. Where would I be now without Shishiwakamaru? Not anywhere I want to, that's for sure. Unconsciously, my hand drifted to the fang necklace he had given me, and I clutched the tooth. So why is it that when this Jin tries to be my friend, I brush him off? I guess it's because the pain of loss is still fresh in my heart and mind. I had the best friend I could wish for, and because of my accursed ice powers I had to leave him behind. I blame myself for this.

But is it really my fault? I wondered. Did I have any real say in the matter? I needed to go, to save my life. That wasn't my decision. But I can't try to rationalize my way out of this. I was the one who agreed with hardly a word in Shishi's defense. This is just so confusing! What I'd give to have Shishi here to help me…but isn't that the problem to begin with? If he were here, then I wouldn't be having this problem. But I need him to help me get through this! Ugh! Why is it that everything in my life is so confusing?

I shook my head vigorously, mint green bangs flying every which way. Sighing, my shoulders slumped with defeat and I stared at my bare feet. I knew that thinking such questions would only bother me and lead me in circles, like a stupid dog chasing its tail. Even if that dog did catch it, what would it do? All it would end up with would be its own tail in its mouth! I shook my head again.

"What's wron'?" Jin asked, suddenly right beside me. I had been so thoroughly wrapped up in my thoughts; I hadn't even noticed him there. This time, though, I didn't shrug him off.

"Nothing," I replied, although the heavy sigh that followed it belied my words.

"Are yeh sure? 'Cause yeh were sighin' and actin' all funny. I know yeh don' want me ta be buggin' yeh, but yeh just looked like yeh needed my help."

"I'm only bothered by my own thoughts, and I'm more than used to that," I told him, shrugging. It was the truth, after all.

"Why bother thinkin' all that if yeh only end up irritatin' yerself?" he asked.

"I enjoy thinking," I murmured, choosing my words carefully. "It gives me… a release… from the world, and it lets me come to terms with myself."

"A release? What do yeh mean by that?"

"I just feel tied down, weighted by too much. I imagine myself in more favorable situations, or I think up little games or stories, and it doesn't feel so bad. It cheers me up," I explained. Why am I telling him this?

"But if it cheers yeh up, then why're yeh sad right now?" he wondered.

"Sometimes it makes me feel melancholy, and, for the first time, nostalgic. I miss my old home, my old friend, and my old life. I just want to go back home."

"Then why don' yeh just go back?" he asked, puzzled.

"It's not that simple," I sighed. "My energy is literally ripping me apart from the inside out. Without Master Tariel's help, I face the very real danger of an incredibly painful death. I've already felt the stab of pain from an earlier, and, according to Master Tariel, less severe, fit of it. If I go back, I'll die. I wonder, though: is the pain of this aura-trouble any less stabbing than the pain of loneliness? I'm not sure."

He stood there, a confused expression on his face.

"I dunno," he decided. "Loneliness has never been much o' a problem for me. An' I've never had my energy attackin' me. I think the aura stuff sounds worse, though."

I could see that he thought that pain of the body was worse than pain of the heart. I wasn't too sure what to do with this information. After all, I didn't even know where I stood on the issue.

"I guess I'm annoyed," I admitted, more to myself than to Jin. "I'm sorely out of place, even while I'm where I'm supposed to be. A never ending paradox, around and around in a square without corners, forever red and blue and yellow dancing in a world of black and white, burning fury in the middle of winter. I don't get it. I'm an ice demon with fiery, passionate feelings, yet at the same time I'm like a fire demon with a heart of ice. I'm forever caught in this broken circle, like a bird stranded in the air. I don't get it!"

"That didn' make sense," he declared, clearly missing the point. "Aren' squares supposed ta have corners?"

I sighed.

"Never mind, Jin. It was just a thought."

"But yeh put yer heart inta those words. It had ta have meant somethin'!"

"No…it was nothing," I lied, hoping that he wouldn't notice the bluff.

"If yeh say so," he responded, unconvinced, or at least he sounded that way to me. I never had been too good at reading others' emotions.

Inwardly, I sighed. At least he had dropped the subject.

Jin brought his face level with mine, so close that our noses almost touched, and placed one hand on each of my shoulders, staring at me intently. Those sapphire eyes of his unnerved me. I sprang back, amazed at his daring. To touch me, to come that close to me, without my permission was annoying. Coupled with the fact that we had only met mere minutes ago…

"What was that?" I demanded, stepping back a bit more to prevent another such incident. I didn't like being touched.

"I was just thinkin' that yeh have real unusual eyes," he replied.

"Yes, I do!" I snapped, finally pushed over my tolerance limit. "Thanks so much for bringing up a rather sensitive subject!"

He looked hurt for a second, before an irritated expression spread over his features. I was aware that my words had stung, but at this point and time I wasn't concerned with his feelings. He just kept pressing me for information, asking me things I didn't want to answer, as though he were repeatedly poking an open wound. It bothered me.

"Well, how was I s'posed ta know?" he shot back, glaring. The angered expression did not suit his usually jovial face. "It's not like yeh will talk enough for me ta find out anythin' 'bout yeh!"

"Well maybe I don't want to talk to you!" I yelled. "Did you ever think of that?"

"Who says I want ta talk ta yeh?"

"I wouldn't want to even if you did!"

"Well I don'!"

"Good!"

"Yeah!"

We stood there in silence for a bit, glaring at each other, before I felt that odd sensation take over me. My body was flooded with warmth, and I felt a surge of energy. My slight figure was haloed in brilliant lime green. The air temperature dropped drastically around me, and I gulped, knowing what was coming.

A crackling bolt of pure energy struck the ground at Jin's feet, freezing it solid in a second. He immediately took to the air, trying to keep himself away from the uncontrollable ice energy. Risho eyed me with curiosity as another beam of green shot from me, colliding with a tree.

"No, no!" I cried. "Not now!"

The five masters were staring at me. Even Gama had put down his book to study the psychotic ice apparition that had just started attacking trees. Tariel quickly recovered from his shock, though, and moved to control the damage. I felt his soft lavender energy loop around my own, restraining it. Aura leaked out of my body, as Tariel sapped it to prevent me from hurting myself or others. My head felt light, even as the ice master withdrew, and I fell to my knees, glacial eyes slowly shutting. Pure, numbing whiteness took up my mind, even as I knew that I would remain conscious.

I was ashamed of myself. I had lost control of my ki in front of the others, and I had assuredly disgraced my teacher. Were it not for how cold and weak I suddenly felt, I feared that I would have cried.

I felt a hand on my shoulder, silently asking me to leave this comforting whiteness, to see what was going on. I was not sure; this felt good now, to not feel a thing. I wasn't too sure… But whoever was there persisted, shaking me. Groggily, I opened my eyes, turning to look at the one.

"He's goin' ta be okay, right?" Jin asked worriedly, looking down at me.

I raised an eyebrow, wondering why he had bothered to come to me when I had yelled at him mere moments before.

"Yes. He's just fatigued," Tariel assured, stepping over.

A blush was painted over my pale cheeks, coloring them a shade of red that had previously been reserved for phoenix apparitions. I stammered over an apology, shrinking under eight pairs of accusing eyes. In Jin's, though, there was only sympathy. Blushing all the more at his look of pity, I wearily pulled myself to my feet. Bereft of my strength, though, I promptly stumbled and would've fallen over had Jin not caught me. The Irish youkai's reflexes were impressive; he managed to grab me around my waist, steady my fall, slip one of my arms around his neck and hold onto my wrist so that he could support my minimal weight all before I had managed to throw my arms out in front of me to break my fall.

"Thanks," I shyly murmured, face still hot.

"Aw, don' mention it," he replied.

"Well, we still have several points to cover," the tattooed youkai pointed out. "Why don't we finish talking about those and call it a day?"

The others murmured their consent, although the wolf-eared apparition appeared a bit more than eager to get out of here. Perhaps he was as bored as Jin had been?

"Do yeh think yeh can stand?" the flame-haired demon asked.

"Not sure," I replied. "Why don't we sit down instead?"

I could feel the grin on his face at my word choice. 'Why don't we sit down', not 'set me down' or such. I still couldn't explain it, though. I couldn't see his face from this angle, and I didn't know enough about the youkai to predict his actions that precisely. Something in me told me that he was smiling, though. Mentally shrugging, I allowed him to fuss over my momentary spell of weakness.

"Could yeh tell me what happened?" he asked.

I nodded slowly.

"My energy is tightly connected with my emotions, or so Tal believes. Whenever I feel a particularly strong emotion, it has activated my aura… I can't control it, not one bit. In fact" I chuckled dryly at this point "I couldn't even so much as chill a drink intentionally."

"Oh," he breathed. "I'm sorry."

I didn't want or need his pity.

"Don't be," I said, a sharp note in my voice.

He shrugged, dropping the subject, for which I was glad. I didn't want to continue down that path. Pity was, to me, annoying and irritating. Having someone feel sorry for me for little to no reason… I detested it.

"So, uh, yeh mentioned yer old town? What was it like?"

"Later, Jin, perhaps later," I replied. The memories were still too fresh in my mind, and thinking over all that I had lost, for it surely would not be the same, was not something I desired.

"Whatever yeh say," he murmured.

I tensed at that, struck by a serious spell of déjà vu. I forced myself to relax, though, reminding myself that Shishi did not own those words, and that Jin could not have known. It was just an odd coincidence…

"At least he hasn't started calling me Blue," I whispered.

"What was that?" he wondered, turning to look at me.

"Nothing… It was nothing…"


Woo, Touya was being kind of mean to Jin, wasn't he? I guess I just prefer Touya when he's got an attitude... I mean, look at how sarcastic he was in his fight with Kujoo, and how teasing he had been in his fight with Kurama. He surely is an interesting guy. Although his whole unruffled attitude is cute, too. Like how when Jin was picking on him in the Makai Tournament, he only chuckled and said, "Whatever." Very cute. Yay for Touya! Oh, yeah, review please!