Jason put his gun back into his pocket, pulling his jacket over the protruding handle. Robin's eyes kept flicking back from the now-hidden gun and Jason's face. He looked, for a split second, like he would take the offer. Like it had been what he had wanted his whole life, and he would accept with a giddy smile.
But then the scowl went back onto his face.
Jason dropped his eyes down to the concrete of the roof they stood on, shuffling his shoes before he finally answered.
"That's rich," he mocked. "Join your team? Why? Just so that you can keep an eye on me?" His scowl deepened as his thought rolled around in his head. "Have a criminal on the Titans. Yeah, sure, you'd do that alright," he muttered to himself.
"I won't have a criminal on the team," Robin said back to him. "If you change your ways–"
"Then you'll have a former criminal on the team," Jason finished for him. He spun around to face Dick, stepping up to him angrily. Dick wondered when Jason had gotten so tall. Last time he'd seen him, they…
Oh, it doesn't matter! Robin's brain screamed.
"Just fucking say it! You want to keep an eye on me, and this was just a lame-ass excuse for you to do so!"
Robin wanted to scream back into his face that Jason was wrong, on so many accounts, but he'd rather not draw attention to them. Besides, he wasn't in the mood to get in a pissing contest with his (albeit adoptive) brother. He shook his head, not wanting to believe Jason was being so stubborn and pig-headed.
But then again this was Jason.
"Why don't you admit that you want to be on the Team?!" Robin shot back at him, after a moment had passed.
Jason's eyes widened. "Want to be on the team? Want to? I don't know what the fuck is going on in your mind–"
Robin cut him off before he could go any farther. "You broke into the Tower and stole a suit that was once mine, you decided to hit up Jump City instead of Gotham, you constantly drop by to mock me and irritate me… Face it, Jason. I know that you want to be on the Team…"
He paused for a moment.
"Or at the very least, around me."
Jason pursed his lips together, and narrowed his eyes. Robin could see the tension in his jaw, could almost hear the grind of his teeth. Seconds ticked by where Jason said nothing. Robin knew he'd caught him and exposed his reasons.
"Don't flatter yourself," Jason said at last. His voice was filled with hatred, or at least it sounded that way. As Jason turned away to face the darkened horizon, Robin noted the slight quiver in his lip.
"Do you really want to kill the Joker?" Robin asked him.
"I don't know…"
His voice sounded softer this time. Robin detected no malice in it. He stepped forward, closer towards him, and Jason didn't move. Didn't flinch. Only stood there. The gun in his pocket flashed in Robin's mind.
Jason wouldn't hurt me, Robin thought to himself. He repeated it, wanting to believe it. He honestly didn't know anymore.
Jason had always been…Jason. Getting into fights was his specialty back when they both lived in still remembered the time a criminal to the hospital. He'd witnessed it himself. And according to Bruce, he'd done it a couple more times.
"Yes."
Jason's voice broke Robin out of his thoughts.
"What?" Robin asked.
"Yes. Yes, I want to kill the Joker. Not only just for me, but for all his victims, and all the victims that will come after. Think of it. I mean, Batman won't do it because of his damned moral code and all that bullshit, but I know that he thinks about it. Every day. Every night."
Robin wanted to shrink away from him.
"Remember what he did to Barb?" Jason asked him.
Robin took a deep breath, and said, "I'll never forget."
Why'd he have to bring that up?! his mind screamed.
Then his mind made a connection that he never wanted to see, and then only wanted to forget. The thoughts of Joker with Barbara started flashing to Slade and Raven. The similarities were so striking. Hunting them down, stripping them of their clothes, humiliating them, giving them nightmares, and finally breaking them down into nothing. How long it had taken for them both to regain a sense of confidence and safety…
"You're awfully quiet," Jason remarked.
How long had be been standing there silent? Robin didn't know. Whenever his mind went to dark places, it seemed like forever only took a couple of seconds.
"You're starting to see things my way, aren't you?" Jason asked.
"Sort of," Robin admitted, his voice only a whisper. He shook his head yet again. "I just…can't picture you as a murderer."
Anger flared in Jason's eyes, but then quickly died away. "But you can picture me as a teammate?" he spat.
"We once were."
Robin stood straighter, trying to match his brother's height. His eyes narrowed behind the mask. He'd yet to master the Bat Glare, but he thought it'd at least have some effect on him.
It didn't.
"So?" Jason asked. "That was the past. Y'know, before I got killed, woke up in my coffin, dunked in Ra's Al Ghul's stupid pit, screamed my way back to Gotham, and started having panic attacks!"
Robin didn't know how to respond to that, so he danced around the question. Hell, he just avoided it entirely. So? So what? What's your point? Do you even have one, bird boy? His mind was mocking him, repeating Jason's words.
"Do you want to be on the Team, or not?" Robin asked.
Jason shifted, and out of the corner of his eye Robin saw the flash of the gun handle again. His jaw clenched as he fought not to react, but even that was a reaction. Jason noticed, and swept the side of his jacket back as he put his hand on his hip. A silent challenge.
"Do you?" Robin asked again, his voice hardening.
Tears were threatening to spill out of his eyes, but he forced them back. He didn't want to look weak, especially in front of Jason, especially at a time like this.
Jason regarded him in silence. Or maybe he was just staring off into the distance and Robin's face happened to be in the way.
"YeahIdo," Jason said.
It was so quick that it took Robin a couple of seconds to process what he'd said. When the words finally made sense, his eyes lit up. But at the same time, it felt like a fist to the gut.
Starry-eyed and vomiting, nagged his brain. Aren't you a treat?
"Really?" Robin asked, and he sounded about as wondrous as he felt.
"Yeah, I would like to be on the team."
Robin opened his mouth to respond, but Jason cut him off. He leaned in close to him, teeth bared, and that fire back in his eyes. His hand was on the gun; Robin felt a wave of fear.
"But it's not worth it," Jason growled.
In what seemed like a blink of an eye, he was gone, leaving Robin standing alone on the rooftop, his mind in turmoil.
The fuck just happened? Robin thought.
"He'll be back," a voice said in the darkness.
Robin pulled his bird-a-rangs free from his belt, aiming them at the shadows that stretched across the roof. But he didn't throw them, only held them at the ready. Subconsciously he knew why.
From the shadows stepped a figure even taller than Jason, and dressed all in black, his mask made to incite fear.
But Robin didn't fear him.
"Batman," he said, lowering the bird-a-rangs.
"Don't worry about him," Batman said.
Robin opened his mouth, but no words formed. Come on, speak! he thought. Speak!
"How can I not?" he finally forced out. "Jason–"
"Is not your concern," Batman finished for him. "He's after the Joker–"
"Aren't you brilliant," Robin snapped at him. "How long have you been standing there? Listening to our conversation? Just hiding out in the shadows like you've been doing your whole life?"
He'd gone too far.
Robin snapped his mouth shut and lowered his gaze, ashamed. He could feel Batman's glare prickling down his spine. Oh, you fucked up, nagged his brain.
"Robin," Batman said, and Robin knew he was supposed to look up.
He didn't.
"Robin," Batman said, more forceful. "Robin, look at me."
He finally forced his eyes up. The glare behind the bat mask was even worse than he pictured, and it felt like his eyes were burning just looking at it.
"I'll go after Jason, you worry about your team." Pause. "Understand?"
No answer.
The white slits of his eyes narrowed as he waited for Robin to say, Understood. But the word never came. Somewhere, deep down inside of Batman, he felt a small bit of pride. Robin had grown, become a leader in his own right, no longer gave into his fear, refused to be intimidated.
I taught you well, Batman wanted to say.
"He's not your responsibility," Robin finally said. Even after he'd chosen his words carefully, they sounded dumb. "He's as much mine as he is your's. Besides, you didn't even know he was alive until… Well, you didn't."
"You're right, I didn't," Batman said. His voice softened when he admitted it. "I didn't know he was alive. The only reason I know was because Cyborg called me."
Cyborg called you? The question rang in Robin's head.
Then, Damn it, Cyborg.
Batman walked over and put a hand on his shoulder. Robin sighed, like he was admitting that he was in over his head once again. Like he was back to being some pathetic sidekick. And he found that he didn't mind. Not this time, at least.
"They're worried about you, back in Jump City."
With the pause in their conversation, it was expected that Robin would say something in return. But he didn't. And Batman knew he wouldn't; he was the boy's (albeit adoptive) father, after all.
"Go back to your team."
"No!" Robin said with a shake of his head. "You didn't even know he was alive. He came to me. I was his focus. If anyone should go after him, it ought to be me." He jabbed his thumb at himself for emphasis.
Gone too far again? he wondered.
"You're right."
Those were words Robin never expected to hear from him. He looked bewildered, and it showed on his face despite the mask. I'm right?
"You should go after Jason." Batman turned and started to sink back into the shadows, his cape and cowl fading into deep black. "I trust you can handle this." Before he disappeared entirely, he left Robin with his last words; "Just remember, he's still my son."
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