Heero Sandwich

By Lord Raa


Disclaim-me-do: The problem is NOBODY asked for this.


Part 12


Relena Peacecraft was now formally a student in her birth nation of the Sanc Kingdom. She was attending the most prestigious school in the land and making friends with the rest of the student body.

It could be said, with reasonable confidence, that things were going well for the young woman as she adapted to her new life. However, there was one problem for the princess.

Heero Yuy seemed to have fallen off the face of the Earth.

Relena had managed to track him down to Antarctica, but after she'd interrupted his duel with Zechs Marquise, there had been no trace of Heero.

There had been a rumour that Heero had been captured by OZ, but that had not been confirmed. Relena had managed to contact the other Gundam pilot that had been with Heero in Antarctica, but he'd now left for the Colonies, as had the other Gundam pilots. She was now running out of leads.

"Oh, Heero, where have you gone? I never meant to hurt you…" the princess sighed. She pondered what she could do to win him back. They'd already had sex, but was what they'd done enough for a man like Heero? Her research on the subject of sexual relations between men and women had thrown up some interesting ideas for how she could have fun with Heero once they were reunited.

"But how do I get to be with Heero again?"

Nearby, a blonde girl of a similar age to Relena listened in to the princess's lamentations. 'Heero? Does she mean that Heero Yuy person? I'll have to check my sources…'


Back at the château where Heero Yuy was being kept, the Gundam pilot was scribbling down notes for Treize Khushrenada's plans for a more noble resolution to conflict.

Was it little better than attempting to co-opt sport for political gains?

"No, it was much better," Heero decided. Despite the occasional shedding of blood during certain sporting events, this would give a much more satisfying conclusion to a conflict.

The thought of being able to duel with other skilled pilots was a pleasant one, one that Zechs Marquise seemed to relish. 'Maybe one day, I'll fight with him again?'

The Gundam pilot considered the merits of allowing nations to develop their own mobile suits, but that would lead to an arms race between groups that could easily spin out of control. So the duellists would have to use supplied mobile suits.

The downside of that was that stock mobile suits currently used by OZ were of such poor quality, the duels would probably end with both combatants being incinerated by their exploding suits.

Heero stood up from the desk and started to pace around his room as he tried to work through a solution to this problem. He turned to look at a painting that was on the wall.

The pictured depicted a gladiatorial encounter from Ancient Rome. A man with a brimless helmet, sword and large shield faced off against a man with a net and a trident.

"Why aren't they fighting with the same equipment? Surely it would be a cleaner and clearer test of skill if they had the same equipment?"

There was a knock on the door before it was opened.

"Heero."

"Treize."

"I'm inviting you to dinner again tonight. I believe it's the best way for us to discuss our ideas," the Colonel said. "I feel it's the most civilised way to go about it."

"I accept your invitation."

Treize smiled. 'Heero may lack the social graces of the Romefeller elites, but he's a far better person than most of them.' "What seems to have caught your eye?"

"This picture," Heero said pointing to the recreation of the gladiatorial scene. "The two fighters don't have the same weapons. Do you know why?"

"Ah, the old retiarius and secutor," the older pilot smiled. "It's a Roman thing. They wanted to see how different weapons and fighting styles compared in the arena. They would regularly pit seemingly mismatched opponents against each other for their entertainment, though one could argue that it would help the army learn how to fight different armies."

"Having a randomly assigned mobile suit would prove one's skill…" Heero said. "I think I might have solved a problem. I'll bring some notes to dinner."

"I look forward to hearing your ideas, Heero. Until later."


Lucrezia Noin was not having a productive day. Her attempts to focus on her work were being scuppered by her mind replaying the events of the morning.

That Zechs Marquise, the errant son of the king of the Sanc Kingdom, had seemed to enjoyed an intimate experience in the sauna with Treize Khushrenada seemed wrong. Such things were the thoughts of lonely women who fetishised the romantic love between two men. But then, there was the way he'd ignored her gentle pursuit of him over the years.

Lucrezia was a woman of culture, someone who knew the rules of the social circles in which she inhabited. She knew that stories would dog her for years to come if she was to pursue overtly a man. She'd heard the stories of a Japanese noblewoman lusting after a somewhat uncouth martial artist.

There were a number of issues with those stories, with a number of contradicting opinions on the events in them, but one thing was certain, the stories all reflected badly on noblewoman in them.

No, Noin was unable to tell Zechs how she felt in the simple terms that a soldier would understand. Not that Zechs was a simple soldier, his upbringing and training had taught him to pick up on the more subtle aspects of human behaviour and body language.

It would seem that Zechs Marquise simply wasn't interested in her.

There was another man who didn't seem to object to her company though. He was a little younger, but he certainly wasn't waiting for puberty to hit.

Noin smiled as she recalled the way that Heero Yuy had looked at her as she'd dried herself off after the morning bath. That smile widened and her cheeks coloured as she recalled touching Heero's weapon and joking about discharging it.

The Lieutenant leaned back in her chair and looked upwards towards the heavens. 'Heero…' She glanced at the clock and realised that it was still early in the afternoon. 'It's going to be another five and a half hours before I see Heero at dinner.'

A cheeky thought entered her head. A thought that was a bad idea. A terrible idea. The kind of idea that ruined careers and reputations.

And yet, Noin was still moving towards the door and up to the room where Heero Yuy was being kept under house arrest in.


Heero frowned at the knock on his door. Fortunately, he'd managed to complete a draft of his proposal. Everything else was just refinement, and even then, he couldn't refine the proposal properly without feedback from Colonel Treize and the others.

"Come in," the pilot said turning to face the door.

The door opened and in walked Lieutenant Noin.

"Good afternoon, Heero."

"Good afternoon, Lieutenant. Is there something I can do for you?"

Noin smiled enigmatically before locking the door behind her. "Oh, I think so."

Heero frowned. What was Noin planning? Had OZ finally grown tired of the "civilised" approach and now the Lieutenant was about to try more traditional information extraction techniques?

"So, what's the plan you're unveiling at dinner?"

"Take a look at the notes," the Gundam pilot said gesturing to the desk.

Noin undid the top button on her dress shirt before walking to the desk and picking up the notes. She looked around for a seat. "Oh, why don't we take a look at them together on this couch?"

Heero was unsure why he needed to be sitting next to Noin while she read his proposal.

"Please, it means I can use my indoor voice," Noin said as she patted the spot next to her on the couch.

No speaking at all would be best, but Heero knew that it was better to compromise on this than fight it tooth and nail. He wordless crossed the room to sit next to the Lieutenant.

"Hmm, so you're suggesting a gladiatorial combat to set rules. What kind of rules are you thinking of?"

"Until the mobile suit loses a head or is otherwise incapacitated," Heero answered. "It needn't be to the death, but every match would have its risks."

"Yes," Noin said. She licked her lips and cast a glance at the young man to her right. 'He's handsome…' "So, what kind of weapons are you suggesting?"

"Melee only," Heero answered. He looked at Noin and saw that she'd opened another button on her shirt. It revealed a little more of her cleavage. "It would make the duels last longer and be safer for everyone involved."

"So it's a case of beam sabres at dawn?"

The Gundam pilot shook his head. "Yes and no. Sure, there would be some beam sabre duels, but I was inspired by history."

"History?" Noin repeated, she reached over for another one of the pages Heero had written, allowing the young man to get another glimpse down her shirt.

"Yes," Heero said. "I learned that the gladiators of Ancient Rome didn't always fight with the same equipment. Some had armour and shields, while some had a net and trident. Different weapons and armour load-outs would make for a challenge as you worked out the limitations of every combination."

The Lieutenant nodded, Heero's idea seemed to be quite thoroughly thought out to her. It had the historical ties that would interest Treize, and the idea of duelling for the honour of a nation would appeal to Zechs. She give Heero a sultry look.

A look that the Gundam pilot completely missed.

"One option is that the pilots could draw lots for their mobile suits, so one could be armed with heavy armour facing one with greater mobility, but isn't as able to take as much damage," he said continuing with his proposal.

Noin frowned as Heero seemed immune to flirting like this. She coughed lightly. "Could you get me a glass of water, please?"

"Of course," Heero said, raising from the couch.

While his back was turned, Noin carefully placed the notes away from herself. It was necessary for her next move and Heero had worked hard on this proposal for Treize.

Heero handed the raven-haired woman the glass and she thanked him.

Noin took a sip and smiled at Heero before absently attempting to take another drink and spilling it down her shirt.

"Oh my, I've become rather clumsy," she said, thrusting the empty glass into Heero's hands. "I better get out of these wet clothes."

The Lieutenant quickly shed her shirt, revealing an expensive-looking black bra that seemed to be mostly made of a translucent, lace-like material. It was something that valued form over function, given that it barely supported Noin's breasts, while doing its utmost to make them look beautiful.

Heero blinked in surprise when he saw Noin continue to undress, taking off her boots, leggings and panties.

"Why are you taking off your underwear, Lieutenant?"

"They're the wettest item of all, Heero," Noin grinned before throwing the Gundam pilot on the bed and jumping on top of him.

[Edited to comply with site rules on adult content.]

"HEEEEERRROOOOOOO!"

'Mission complete,' Heero thought. Now he could turn his attention back to working on his proposal for Treize.

At least, that would have been the case, had Noin released him from her grip.

"Noin, are you going to let me go?" his words were muffled slightly by the Lieutenant's body. 'Impressive leg strength,' he noted.

"What was that?" she asked, releasing her grip on Heero and pulling him up so they were face to face and now using her arms to hold him close to her. She stared into his eyes. "Heero…"

"Are you going to let me go? I do need to finish this proposal for Treize," Heero said matter-of-factly.

He realised that although it was his best chance of escape his room would be to hope that he had a visitor who forgot to lock his door, allowing him to slip away as she lay in a post-coital slumber, the visitor would probably get into a lot of trouble. And even then, he still had to find his way out of the building without triggering any security.

"But I like spending time with you like this, Heero," Noin said as she gently stroked his hair.

"Please, Lieutenant, I need to finish this."

"Work with me, Heero," Noin pleaded. "Spending time with you like this… it makes me feel like I'm a normal person, not a soldier."

Heero frowned. His hidden repository of experience was telling him to do whatever he could to make Noin happy, but it warred with his previous orders to finish his proposal. The two instincts went back and forth through his mind, until a compromise was found and blurted out before he could realise what he was saying.

"If you let me finish this now, I'll fuck you however you want after dinner."

'Wait, I didn't mean to say that,' he thought upset with his sudden lapse of control.

"I'll hold you to that, Heero," the Lieutenant said, rolling over so she was now on top of Heero. She kissed him passionately on the mouth. "Remember that."

"I will," Heero said as he watched the raven-haired woman climb off him and adjust her bra. There was something about watching Noin that intrigued Heero. She wasn't the first naked woman he'd seen or even the first woman he'd been remotely intimate with.

And yet, he felt that Noin was a good woman. Maybe, just maybe, if they both got out of this war alive, he could settle down with her?

Heero shook his head. It was a foolish thought. Even if he did survive, what could he offer Noin as a civilian? He didn't have the wealth required sustain them, so he'd have to work and what work could he do that didn't involve destruction?

'Maybe this duelling thing could have a league instead of just being for international conflict resolution? It would be the best use of my skills and I might earn a living. I'll suggest this to Treize at dinner.'

Noin continued to dress herself, oblivious to Heero's thoughts about a potential post-war future. When she was ready, she turned to the Gundam pilot. "I'll see you at dinner, Heero," she winked before blowing him a kiss.

"Until dinner time, Noin."


It was dinner time when the next person to knock on Heero's door did so.

"Come in," the Gundam pilot said as he finished numbering the pages of notes for his proposal. He looked up to see Noin standing there smiling.

"Good evening, Heero. Are you ready for dinner?"

"I am," he replied as he gathered his notes. "I do hope you'll be able to stay for the entire meal this time."

"Oh, I'll be the one to escort you back to your room when we're done," Noin smiled knowingly. "Now, if you'll accompany me to the dining room."

"Of course, Lieutenant Noin," Heero bowed slightly.

The journey to the dining room was a silent one, much to Heero's approval. There was no attempt at small talk, no invasion of his personal space. There wasn't even so much as a sultry look from the Lieutenant.

That was something that could not have been said for Lady Une when the two walked into the dining room.

Zechs noticed that Lady Une seemed to have a hungry look on her face as she watched the Gundam pilot take his place at the table. 'She must have been working hard today.'

"Ah, I'm glad that we're all here," Treize smiled as he gestured for everyone to take their seats. "I believe that Heero has something he wanted to propose."

"Yes," Heero nodded as he reached for his water glass. He took a sip before starting his presentation. "Apologies for the notes, but I didn't have time to memorise them. Now, my suggestion was that once the peace has been won, any future conflicts cannot be resolved through diplomacy, would be resolved through another method."

The table looked intently at Heero.

"Taking page out of the history books, this other method would involved a ritualised combat, where nations would duel each other in mobile suits. Part trial by combat, part tourney from the Middle Ages," the Gundam pilot explained.

The starter course, a quail's egg dish, was brought out, slowing down Heero's proposal slightly. "It would involve people fighting for honour, while minimising the numbers killed in conflicts, either to two or even zero."

"Fighting for honour?" Treize repeated as he placed his knife and fork on the plate.

"Yes, there would be a noble class of mobile suit pilots for every nation that wished to take part in this scheme, where men and women risked their lives for a cause they believed in."

There was a thump that had no apparent source. Treize coughed but gestured for Heero to continued.

"Well, not only do you have the nations resolving conflicts like this, but you could also have noble houses or even an international league of mobile suit pilots fighting in a gladiatorial arena. Pitting themselves against other pilots in specialised mobile suits."

There was a second thump. This time it was Zechs' turn to cough. "Gladiatorial combat you say?"

"Yes. The fights would be to specific rules, the first mobile suit to lose its head if you can't move any more to stop people from being slaughtered. But even so, the pilots would be risking their lives every time they went out into the arena."

Une leaned forward after finishing her starter. "These mobile suits, what would they be armed with?"

"Ranged weapons are out of the question," Heero answered. "They're too dangerous for this, but this would be more than just beam sabres. I took some inspiration from Ancient Rome."

Treize's eyes bulged for a moment. "Ancient Rome, you say?"

"Yes. The gladiators paired up different weapon combinations. They wanted to see a lightly armoured man with a trident and a net fight someone with more armour and a sword and shield. I think that sort of thing would be more interesting."

Zechs smiled. He turned to Treize. "I think this idea requires further exploration."

And so, for the remaining courses, the diners discussed the relative merits of asymmetrical melee combat between mobile suits.


To be continued…

This chapter had a truncated scene because of this site's rules on adult content. If you are that desperate to read the full chapter, then you might be able to find it if you search hard enough. There is a clue in the description of this story.