I do not love you as if you were salt-rose or topaz/or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off/I love you as certain dark things are to be loved/in secret between the shadow and the soul I love you as the plant that never blooms/but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers/thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance/risen from the earth lives darkly in my body I love you without knowing how or when or where/I love you straightforwardly without complexities or pride/So I love you because I know no other way/that this: where I does not exist, nor you/so close that your hand on my chest is my hand/so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep
There
is a time to cross the lines the others place. A time to stand your
ground. Spike and Dawn didn't care about right or wrong or when
things should be done or not. Because they were together and that
would never change. Together forever and never will the
locked tight chains free us from one another, connected through
fantasy riped apart by reality we are what they wish they were we are
what they cant help but adore me and you baby we got something and
thats the way we remember everything.
Life
was like one long romantic sappy love poem. Unrealistically happy.
They got the type of satisfaction in life that was just not normal.
Just didn't happen to people like them. They weren't the stars of the
show. They were just there, just the outcasts. And they finally had
this. Something that kept them wanting to be alive. Kept them
enjoying life. Kept them feeling it.
There was no escaping he fact that things really weren't perfect. Buffy still wasn't pleased with the situation but they weren't in Sunnydale anymore. Who knew how long it would be before they ever went back or if they were ever going back. If they would forget about their faces and only need each other. So they were going to tell the LA gang. Why? Because Dawn needed to. Spike could care less if his sire knew about another "failure" changing the youngest Summer's women. Taking away her innocence. Riping her from her family. But they didn't know that this was where she belonged. Where she had always belonged. With Spike. Things really could be permanent for them now. They really could defy reality, and be together forever.
Silence is loud when all you here is your heart. The thing about your heart is when it wants something it has a life of it's own. Screams at you until you do something about it. Them being apart would only cause them endless pain. Endless heartache because being apart just wasn't right and their hearts knew that. So it wasn't some perfect innocent little romance. He had been a vampire before when she was a sixteen year old human girl. Now they were both vampires. Stuck together. But love could be enough. Maybe.
"Dawn what you thinking about?" Spike asked griping one hand onto the steering wheel sliding the other over to grip her hand.
"How I'm gonna tell Angel and the rest of them." She smiled.
"Stop always being the serious one." He looked over at her. "You need to let yourself relax. We have plenty of time to worry about things." He smiled.
"I can't believe were going to be together forever." Dawn smiled and it developed into a giggle. "It's really just hitting me." She nodded griping his hand tighter.
Spike pulled her hand up to his lips and kissed her fingers. "I love you." He sighed.
"I love you too." She smiled wider.
Ever feel like everything seems to go wrong
ever feel like your just singing the same old song
Like the walls keep closing in with every step you take
like its gonna mess up every decision you make
like your fading away with each little dig you bare
like no matter what they say they wont ever really care
you play their fool you act just fine
i feel like nothings ever really mine
like everyones my enemy inside
they weren't there all those times that I cried
I deny the fact that time is my friend
and things will get better in the begging of this end
and whoever you are you'll be by my side
you'll keep me safe for once ill feel that warmth inside
what iv missed and never really known at all
that complete feeling and you'll catch me when i fall
The story of Dawn's life. A beginning of pain and heartache. Where nothing she did seemed right where no matter what happened it just made things hurt worse. And time had changed her. Made everything all right. Made it so that she felt alive, complete. For once it was all right to be happy. Because she wasn't hurting anyone else anymore. They weren't there to hurt them. He gave her freedom and safety all in one. So a beginning of a lifetime of pain was enough to end it all like this. But this wasn't an end just a beginning. A beginning of their life together. A beginning of something no one expected. Beginnings were new to them. Things never seemed like they could get better from the vile state they were in. But things began to change. Things were getting better.
Spike looked at Dawn who had fallen asleep in her seat. This was his future and it all lied in one girl. One small frail body laying on the seat next to him. Fragile and thin. Her pale figure fallen gracefully across the surface below her body. She was his angel his savior. You are calm and reposed. Let your beauty unfold. Pale white, like the skin stretched over your bones... You are the smell before rain. You are the blood in my veins. Her blood ran through his veins and the same with his. They were bonded and would be forever. For eternity and nothing would ever change that not even in death.
It's
only you, beautiful.
Or I don't want anyone.
If I can choose
it's only you.
Dawn was his only one. His only women. Now that he was with her. Not that he had, had her, he couldn't be without her. No one else but her now. He only wanted her. His only choice. The love of his life.
Dawn stirred awake from her deep slumber. "How much longer?" She asked yawning and rubbing her eyes.
"About five minutes." Spike smiled.
"Oh." She sat up in shock and partly horror. Facing Angel and the rest of the gang was going to be damn near impossible. She knew Connor would be there. She remembered that her and Connor were supposed to be together. It was almost like and arranged marriage. Everyone thought that they belonged together, Angel, Buffy, everyone she knew. So being with Spike, showing this to the fang gang, was going to be agonizing.
The car pulled into the hotel. The place where the Angel investigations resided. It wouldn't be long before she would have to explain why the sudden visit. Why she was with Spike. And where she was going after. All the while avoiding being staked. It was strange to have to face that now. She had left her family, the only family she had known. The Scooby gang. All for a man, a vampire. But one that made her feel whole. Made her feel alive. Her poison.
The car stopped and Dawn grew nervous. She didn't know why. But as soon as she looked over at Spike who was already standing beside her door holding it open and pulling her from her seat, the nerves disappeared.
"Come on luv. I'll be here the entire time." Spike smiled. That was reason enough.
They walked towards the front door and knocked. Suddenly the door opened in a rush and Fred stood in front of it with a wide smile on her delicate face. "Oh my Lord it's little Dawnie...and Spike!" She shouted with joy on her face. She remembered Spike. And how she had always felt about him. It was nice to see them both. Fred wrapped her arms around Dawn and then Spike. "What a nice surprise. What are y'all doin' here?" She asked opening the door wider to let them inside. They proceeded to enter the room.
"Uhm...I was in the area I guess and..." Dawn looked up at Spike who gave her a knowing look. "I have some news. But it would be nice to stay a while before it becomes all business." Dawn smiled.
"Of course." Fred gave her a loving look. "Come sit down...oh Conner is out back. You should go see him. I'm sure he would love to see you. Oh and Lorne." Fred fumbled over her words. "This is so exciting." She smiled wider.
"I'll go look for them." Dawn let out a quick laugh. "I'll be right back." Dawn said looking at Spike.
Dawn walked into the back room of the hotel. She saw Conner sitting there talking to Lorne who was impersonating someone in a ridiculous sounding voice. Dawn smiled seeing her old green friend joking around. She had missed seeing them. Conner on the other hand was a different experience all together. It was uncomfortable and awkward. Conner and her were meant for each other. Everyone wanted it to happen but it never did. All because Dawn couldn't get over the way she had felt about Spike and it sabotaged any relationship she could have. Because she knew she always belonged with Spike. Thought others felt she belonged with Conner. Buffy's little sister, Angels son, of course it had potential. More then imaginably possible. No one would ever expect her to be with the soulless vampire who loved her sister.
"Dawn?" Lorne looked at her with a wide smile. "Kitten!" He jumped up and gave her a warm huh. He pulled away still holding onto her. "Looks like Kitten's become a Tiger." He smiled wide. "Your gorgeous."
"Thank you Lorne. Lookin' good yourself." She smiled.
"Well I try." Lorne did a little proud dance. "Did you come here all alone?" Lorne asked confused.
"No." Dawn shook her head. "Angel didn't tell you?" Dawn asked.
"Oh dear. Angel cakes took a long vacation. I hope you didn't just come here for him." Lorne looked saddened.
"No. I came to see all of you." Dawn smiled.
"But you still didn't answer my question doll." Lorne asked again.
"I came with Spike." Dawn looked at him hoping she didn't have to explain. Lorne usual understood things pretty well.
"Oh. Are you two-?" Lorne tried not to make her uncomfortable, she was never uncomfortable around Lorne.
"Yeah. Were together. I know its-"
"Adorable." He exclaimed. "You two together darlin' that is just perfection right there. Couldn't right it any better." He smiled pleased.
"Really?" Dawn asked that was not the reaction she was expecting.
"Of course." Lorne smiled. "Now would I lie to you?" He asked.
"Never." She smiled wide.
"So lover, your with the demon now?" Conner stood up and walked towards Dawn.
"Oh. Well I'll just be going...and leave you two to your own devices...oh my." Lorne rushed from the room in a hurry.
"So your with the demon?" Conner looked annoyed.
"I'm with Spike." Dawn corrected.
"You say tomato I say tamato." He shrugged. "When did this happen?"
"Not long ago." She admitted. "I love him." She smiled.
"Guess that ruins everyone's plans of us being together dunnit?" Conner spoke with a calm conceitedness laced in his tone.
"Conner. Me and you, it was never right. No matter what everyone thought. We weren't meant to be." Dawn spoke dryly. "You see your the perfect guy. Your sweet, generous, the type of person you want to settle down with. Get a big house in the suburbs, plant some shrubs, build a white picket fence have four perfect little children and maybe even buy a horse." Dawn smiled and Conner couldn't help but chuckle. "But it's not for me." She admitted. "I'm not that women. I don't belong in a perfect life because messed up is the only thing I know. Hell I thrive off of mischief. Thrive off of imperfections." She tried to smile. "Spike is in that sense perfect for me and how screwed up I am. He gives me everything I need Conner." Dawn nodded. "I love him. The way he treats me. Takes care of me, protects me-"
"I could protect you Dawn, hello super strength here." Conner interrupted her.
"Yeah I know. But not the way he does. I need someone who can give me what he's given me Connor. My life isn't normal. And I need an escape. Ya see that perfect little life with the white picket fence, makes me sick really. What he's given me. An eternity of darkness, that's my own perfection." Dawn sighed.
"Wait, he, what!?!" Conner was confused.
"He changed me." Dawn nodded.
Conner was taken aback. "That's crazy." He looked pale. "Your a vampire?"
"Yeah." She nodded. "I'll leave you alone to process what I just told ya." Dawn frowned.
Dawn walked out of the room as soon as she did Gun jumped out from the corner and grabbed her. "Dawn!!!" He yelled as he spun her around. "Fireball its you." She missed the little nicknames they all gave her, Fireball, Kitten (which had now become Tiger), and lover. Conner always called her that before. She had guessed he got it from his father.
"Hey Gun." She smiled wide as she wrapped his arms around him. "You look great." She said pulling away slowly.
"Same you to you beautiful." Gun offered generously. "What are you doing here?" He asked still smiling.
"I came with Spike. Came to tell everyone something, before I leave." She said calmly.
"With Spike?" He looked confused. "As a chauffeur or something else?" He asked.
"Something else." She laughed. "I'm in love with him." Dawn smiled.
"I'm glad for you. Can't say I'm jumpin' for joy at it being Spike. Or at you no longer being single." Gun smirked. "I mean you were the catch of this place and Sunnydale all put together. Everyone here wanted you. Conner and me and Wes and back in Sunnydale there was Xander. And hell I even think Lorne had a little thing for ya. Your like a goddess or something." Gun smiled. "But I'm glad your happy."
"Thanks." She smiled and hugged him again.
"Let's head over to the rest of the crew." He smiled walking her into the room where Spike Fred and Lorne were all talking.
"Spike." Gun nodded.
"Gun." Spike nodded as well.
"What is this the mafia or something. With all the manly nods and no hugs or hey how are yous. Or hey I use to kill evil things with you?" Dawn smiled.
"No, us manly men have a reputation to keep up." Gun nodded.
"Yeah, can't soil the good name." Spike agreed with a faint smile.
"You guys are rediculous." Fred smiled. "So you two came here why, Spike wouldn't tell me. Said you'd be mad or something." She looked confused.
"I wouldn't." Dawn shook her head. "Okay so. I already told Conner. But I have something to tell you all."
"Your with Spike, you already said it sweet cheeks." Lorne corrected.
"No. Not that." Dawn frowned.
"Wait. Like with him. Dating?" Fred asked confused.
"Your behind luv." Spike smiled. "Were together like in love." He spoke without thinking.
"There goes the manly name. Its soiled now." The words sounded unnatural coming from Gun's mouth.
"Not just that were together. I...am...I am a..." Dawn couldn't seem to say it so she looked to Spike for help.
"Vampire." Spike answered for her.
"WHAT!?!" Gun laughed hysterically. "Thats so funny." He held onto his stomach.
"It would be if it were a joke...it's not." Dawn corrected him.
"Dawn, you can't be serious." Gun looked scared now. His Dawn was a vampire. That was beyond normal reality. "That bastard." He charged towards Spike and punched him in the face.
"Oh my, violence is not the way to handle this gentlemen." Lorne tried to pull them apart.
"Tell that to the overzealous wanker." Spike punched Gun back sending him flying.
"Guys stop!" Dawn hissed.
"Dawn you can't really be serious. Your with Spike, and your a vampire?" She looked deeply hurt. Fred went running into the other room in terror.
"Fred." She shouted. Dawn went to go after he but noticed Spike and Gun still going at it.
"STOP!" She shouted as they were sent flying in opposite directions. She had done it again. The magic. Not on purpose though.
"Tiger?" Lorne looked confused. "What in the hell dimension was that?" He asked confused yet intrigued.
"I don't Lorne." Dawn shook her head. "It just happens sometimes." She admitted. "I gotta go see Fred, can you-?"
"I'll keep the manly men off of one another you just go sweetheart." Lorne nodded.
"Thank you." Dawn ran off to where she saw Fred go. She was in the kitchen alone and crying. "Fred, I never thought you would react like this." Dawn exclaimed.
"Me neither Dawn. But I before when Spike was here I had fallen for him. I don't know why, but it's so hard to to see you together." Fred tried to control the tears. "And you being a vampire?"
"I'm sorry. I had no idea how you felt about him. But Fred to be honest, I've known him for way longer then you. And I have loved him for much longer then you have." Dawn tried not to be brutal.
"I know." Fred admitted. "I still just. I Can't look at you the same. Your a vampire. Your not Dawn." Fred shook her head. "Not the same."
Dawn felt a sudden feeling of hurt and rejection. Fred use to be one of her best friends. Use to be. The way she reacted was not right. Was not the same as she expected from her. She expected Connor to go into shock and after probably attack Spike. Gun she expected to attack Spike as well. And Lorne she knew would be accepting. But Fred she never thought this was how she would react., never. This was a curve ball.
Dawn walked out of the room with a sullen look on her face. She was hurt. Her friend had turned her back on her. This was the epitome of disappointment. Even Buffy had tried to accept it. Fred was being rediculous, unfair. Perfect eyes will have perfect aim. Dawn did have perfect aim. Or so she thought. She knew Spike was perfect for her. But it seemed that being with him only hurt everyone else. It seemed like she was pushing everyone aside in her path to freedom, being free with Spike. Thats all she seemed to want, people who got in the way be damned.
Dawn walked into the room seeing Spike standing away from Gun and Lorne standing in between them. Yelling things like "Just be calm and respectable for Dawn now will you?".
"Dawn!" Spike smiled and ran over to her. "Can we go now pet?" Spike asked.
"I guess." Dawn frowned.
"What happened?" He asked concerned.
"Fred. She was...it's nothing." She shook her head.
"Baby, tell me." Spike touched her chin and lifted it up.
"I'm home!" Angel shouted from the front door.
Everyone quickly stopped and looked at him horror in their eyes. Angel was back. Dawn was hoping to avoid this one. She didn't want to announce to him that she was a vampire. One of him. She knew that she would not leave this place without another fight. And this one would not be the same as Gun vs. Spike. This would be sire rivalry. Not the same. This was not going to be good. Theres no way this night would not end without bloodshed.
Authors Note: So this is longer eight pages on my OpenOffice. Hope you enjoy the length it took a while to wright. It's a little different then I had expected it to turn out but I think I like it. I wanted to put some poetry into it, and it sorta became the theme. Some of it is poetry from other people. Some is lyrics from Brand New. Some was poetry by me!! If you could tell me your favorite poetry or lyrics in a review that would be great!!! REVIEW!!! Much love to all of you
