Battle of the Cards
by Leesa Perrie
Set season 4 or later
For the graphics that accompany this story (which I have provided descriptions of below) you need to go to my profile and either go to my website, click on the Atlantis link, scroll down to and click on the Advent Calendar link, and then click Number 23, or go to my LiveJournal site and click on the Advent Calendar 2008 tag (right hand side) and click on 23rd December's post.
John opened the envelope he found stuck to the doors to his quarters with duct tape.
Card One – Front: Birthday card in green with a blue car. 'Happy Birthday' crossed out in ink.
Card One – Inside: 'Happy Birthday' and 'with best wishes' crossed out in ink. Writing says, 'To John, I didn't have time to grab any cards back on Earth, so this will have to do. Stupid holiday season anyway. Rodney.'
Rolling his eyes at the message full of Christmas cheer, not, he entered his quarters. He hadn't picked up any Christmas cards on his last visit to Earth either, but if he didn't give Rodney one in return he'd never hear the end of it.
He supposed he could make one...
A wicked grin spread over his face.
Rodney opened the envelope he found stuck to the doors to his quarters with sticky tack.
Card Two – Front: Clipart of Whale
Card Two – Inside: 'To Rodney. Seasonal Greetings. I couldn't get a card back on Earth either, so I made you this one! John.'
He scowled at the card with its bad caricature of a whale and entered his quarters, putting the card into his trashcan. The last thing he wanted was to stare at a whale before going to bed at night, that was a good way to ensure nightmares.
Damn Sheppard's so called sense of humour.
Revenge; that what was needed, but what to do...
A wicked grin spread over his face.
John stopped outside his room, eyeing the card stuck to his door with duct tape with suspicion. Definitely Rodney's handwriting on the envelope, and considering the card he'd just given the guy, this probably wasn't going to be good.
Still, he took a deep breath, opened the card…and fervently hoped no one had heard his slightly less-than-manly yelp of surprise (he was going for the word 'yelp' as it sounded so much better than 'scream').
Card Three - Front: Photo of bug. Writing says, 'Than You So Much!'
Card Three - Inside: 'John. THIS IS WAR! Rodney.'
Damn that annoying Canadian son of a bitch! He wanted a war, did he? Well, he was going to damn well get one!
Rodney stopped outside his room, eyeing the card stuck to his door with sticky tack with suspicion. Definitely Sheppard's handwriting on the envelope, and considering the card he'd just given the guy, this probably wasn't going to be good.
Still, he took a deep breath, opened the card…and grimaced. Damn flyboy!
Card Four - Front: Two photos, one of lemons and one of oranges. Writing says, 'Than You So Much Too!'
Card Four - Inside: 'Rodney. You are sooooo on! And soooo dead! John aka Your Death'
"Rodney, are you okay?" a voice came from beside him, making him jump.
"Oh, Teyla, I didn't see you there," he said, heart still racing. "Are you trying to give me a heart attack?"
"I am sorry, I did not realise you had not heard me approach," she replied, though he was sure there was a glint of mischief lurking in her eyes. "Are those lemons and oranges on the card? Are you not allergic to them?"
"Yes, yes, deathly allergic."
"Who would send you such a card? It is most unkind of them."
"Well, see, it's from Sheppard..." he stammered out, a sinking feeling in his stomach. Crap, he so did not want to explain this.
With a sigh, she took the card from his suddenly nerveless fingers and read it.
"And what did you send him to deserve this?"
"Um, maybe a card with a, um, a bug on it." Oh, just shoot him now.
"And why would you do that?"
"Well, he sent me one with a whale on it, so it was only fair that I retaliate..." he said in his best wounded voice, hoping she didn't ask anymore questions and that she would accept it was all Sheppard's fault - which it was really; his first card hadn't been all that bad. Not really. But the raised eyebrow told him she wasn't buying it, and he sighed. "Okay, so I might have sent him a card that wasn't entirely, erm, nice, but it wasn't deserving a whale card in return!"
Teyla sighed and shook her head, clearly thinking how childish they were being. His cheeks flamed red and he wished the ground would open up and swallow him.
"Well," she said with another shake of her head, "I will leave you to it." And so saying, she handed him back the card and went on her way.
Was that a muffled giggle he heard as she turned the corner?
John opened the door to his room, ready to head down for breakfast, when he noticed an envelope addressed to him in Teyla's handwriting placed carefully on the floor so that he would be sure to see it. Hmm, he hadn't had a Christmas card from her yet. She usually made beautiful handcrafted cards that were a little too sentimental for his tastes.
Oh well, he'd better open it.
Card Five - Front: One photo and one clipart of clowns. Writing says, 'John Enjoy!'
Card Five - Inside: 'John. I believe the term is 'I win'. If you would like to contend this, I can meet you in the gym at ten. Teyla'
What the...!
"McKay, have you been tattling to Teyla about our little card war?" he said into his comm, not caring if he woke his teammate up; it was, after all, gone 8:00.
Rodney opened the door to his room, ready to head down for breakfast, when he noticed an envelope addressed to him in Teyla's handwriting placed carefully on the floor so that he would be sure to see it. Hmm, he hadn't had a Christmas card from her yet. She usually made beautiful handcrafted cards that were a little too sentimental for his tastes.
Oh well, he'd better open it.
Card Six - Front: One photo and one clipart of clowns. Writing says, 'Rodney Enjoy!'
Card Six - Inside: 'Rodney. I believe the term is 'I win'. If you would like to contend this, I can meet you in the gym at nine. Teyla'
Damn, he hoped she hadn't left one for Sheppard as well.
"McKay, have you been tattling to Teyla about our little card war?" Sheppard's voice came over his comm unit, making him jump.
Oh shit, he was so screwed.
Teyla opened the envelopes she found stuck to the door to her quarters with duct tape and sticky tack.
Card Seven - Front: One photo of a sunset. Writing says, 'Congraulations'
Card Seven - Inside: '(John's writing) Teyla. You Win! (Rodney's writing) Please don't hit us! (John's writing) John & (Rodney's writing) Rodney'
She smiled.
The End
