A/N: Hi everybody! I know that I suck and haven't updated a bit. I have started to go back to school online, so I have been super busy. On the upside, this chapter is over 2,000 words long. I hope you like this chapter, and I hope to have some new stuff up soon. Let me know what you think.


Ch 12

Phew! I am tired.

It is after midnight, and I just got Harper to sleep on her first night with us. Harper was doing so well until it reached 8 o'clock. At that point she started acting like she was being possessed or something. My guess was that she was overtired, but didn't feel comfortable enough to fall asleep.

After dinner, Christian went to his study and left me with the baby. I didn't want to give her a bath in case she got cold, so I wanted to wait until morning. I used some baby wipes to make sure she didn't have any food on her.

At that point I had to figure out how to brush her teeth. Harper doesn't have too many teeth, but I saw a toothbrush in her diaper bag and I figured I would try it. Little did I know that she would think I was trying to murder her with the tool. She screamed and fussed, and broke my heart. I didn't want to traumatize her, but if she learns that crying works to get out of things then I'll be in bigger trouble.

Once she was brushed and changed into pajamas I tried to read her a bedtime story. Any time I tried to settle her in the rocking chair with me she would squirm and cry. I thought I should try just to put her in her crib, but that was a no go. She got herself so worked up that she couldn't stop herself. I tried to walk the apartment while holding her because she only whimpered while I did that.

Each time I passed by Christian's study I got madder and madder. He had to hear her crying, but why isn't he checking on us. For all he knows I could be dead and she could be hurt. I knew I was being overdramatic, but I was reaching my wits end. The crying was making me crazy and I was completely out of my element.

She is finally asleep now, and I'm sitting in the rocking chair while glancing at her sleeping form in the crib. I'm glad we ordered a plush rocking chair that reclines, because I think I'm going to stay here tonight. I feel overcome by my feelings for this little girl. I feel love, and awe for her. I also am feeling scared at how much she depends on me. I can't even say that she depends on Christian, because he has been MIA all night.

I grab the blanket on the back of the chair, and drape it over myself. I close my eyes and drift off to the sound of Harper's breathing.


I come out of my sleep to the sound of a baby babbling: my baby to be specific. I smile as I look at Harper. She is in her crib, her feet straight above her,and she's trying to take her socks off. I make my way over to her.

"Good Morning pretty girl. How are you today?" I ask her.

Harper turns to me and smiles, then keeps on babbling.

"Are you hungry? Do you want your bottle?" I say.

"Baba Baba." Harper hears and repeats.

I guess she knows that word.

I reach into the crib and lift Harper into my arms.

"Let's go get you some baba." I tell her as we walk to the kitchen.

I put Harper in her high chair and turn the bottle warmer on. While that is heating I cut her up some banana and give it to her on her tray. I only give her a few pieces because I want her to eat her oatmeal too. I start the oatmeal as well, just the instant kind.

Harper eats most of her oatmeal, banana, and drinks all of her milk. I decide she needs a bath but I go to look for Christian first.

I find Christian in his study, putting papers in his attache case.

"Hey." I say.

"Hey."

"Are you going to work?" I ask him as he's all dressed.

"Yeah, I have a few things I need to do so I can be available for court tomorrow. I should be home by early afternoon."

"Oh. That makes sense." I didn't know what else to say. "Did you happen to tell your mom about Harper?"

"Not yet." he tells me. "I planned on calling both my parents today."

"Yeah. I too have to call my parents. Would it be okay with you if I invite Grace over while you are at work. I could use any baby insight I can get."

"That's fine with me, but can you make sure they know I was going to call them."

"Of course." I tell him. I kiss him goodbye, then grab my cell phone and head to Harper's room.

"Grey residence." I hear Gretchen, the maid, answer the phone.

"Hi, this is Ana Grey. Is Grace around?"

"One moment." I hear silence for a moment before Grace picks up.

"Hi, Ana. How are you darling?"

"I'm fine. I have some news to share with you. It would appear that a recently deceased relative of mine left me her daughter." I say.

"Her daughter? Are you serious?"

"Yes. Her name is Harper. I was contacted about two days ago and I picked her up last night."

"Wow. What does Christian say about this?" Grace asks.

"Christian and I are going to have temporary custody for now. He wanted me to tell you that he was going to call you today. He had to run into the office so he can come to court with me tomorrow."

"This is a shock. How old is she?"

"Harper is ten months old." I say as I watch the little girl roll around on her play mat.

"A baby!" Grace gasps and I can picture her placing her hand on her heart.

"Yes. Would you like to come over and meet her? I'm kind of a beginner on the whole baby thing, so I welcome any advice you can give me."

"Of course I'm coming over. I'll leave right away. You don't have plans right now do you?"

"I have to give her a bath, but that is it."

"Please wait for me. I would love to help give her a bath. It has been such a long time since we have had a baby in the family." Grace enthuses.

"Then I will definitely wait for you."


Ding

I hear the elevator reach our floor. I pick up Harper and take her to meet Grace. The second Grace comes into my view her eyes lock on the baby in my arms. I see her tear up.

"Harper this is Grace, Grace meet Harper." I introduce them.

"Hi darling girl." Grace whispers.

Harper burrows into my neck from shyness, but she keeps her face towards Grace.

"Grace came to help give you a bath." I tell her.

I lead the way to Harper's room, and into her bathroom.

"How do I do this?" I ask Grace.

"Does she sit up on her own well?"

"Yes, she can."

"I figured as much." Grace says. "I'll run the bath, and you watch."

Grace starts to fill the tub, and asks me to bring in Harper's shampoo and soap. When I come back I see Grace putting her elbow into the water.

"If the water seems okay to your elbow, then it is good for her." Grace tells me.

Grace walks me through the whole bath process. Luckily Harper loves the rubber duckies that I got her, so she played the whole time. Right after I took Harper from the tub, Grace's phone went off so she left me alone to dress the baby.

I diaper and dress Harper, and then sit in the rocking chair with her. I cuddle with her, and just inhale that 'baby smell'. I feel myself getting more attached to her by the second. I also find myself feeling exhausted. This little girl is work, and I'm glad Grace has come to help out.

"Ana?" Grace calls as she walks back down the hallway.

"Everything okay?"

"Yes, but I have to leave. That was the hospital, and they need me. You must come by the house soon with this little munchkin." Grace says as she strokes Harper's cheek.

"Of course we will come visit. But before I forget, could you recommend a pediatrician you trust?"

"I'll come up with a list. I'm sure you would like options. Call me tomorrow to tell me how court went?"

"Sure. I'll call you tomorrow. Thank you for all of your help."

Grace leaves, and once again it is just me and Harper.


I can't remember ever being this tired before.

I think you need to be as young as a baby to keep up with them. Harper has been great, but she is very active and demands a lot of attention. I should have tried to nap during her nap, but I needed to clean up all of her toys.

Christian came home from the office a few hours ago, but I haven't seen hide nor hair of him. I know that he is a busy man, and I know that I am the one who pushed for taking Harper home, but I wish he could help a little.

I mean is it too much to ask for him to ask if we need anything?

I'm so hungry, but I can't be bothered to cook, and Gail isn't home from her sister's house yet. I decide that tonight is pizza night. I know Christian hates the idea of eating something so unhealthy, but I don't see him making dinner. I order from my favorite restaurant, and then notify Sawyer that a delivery guy is coming.

I set up the table for Christian, Harper and myself. Well technically I set it for the grownups since I am going to feed Harper before the pizza gets here. Harper enjoys her little baby meal, and then I give her some puffs to keep her attention for when I eat.

Sawyer brings my pizza in, and I ask him to tell Christian to come eat. Sawyer gives me a weird look, but complies. Sawyer knows that I'm uncomfortable letting the staff do things for me that I could easily do for myself, so he must realize I'm a little irked at my husband.

"Pizza?" I hear Christian ask.

"I'm too tired to do anything else."

"Oh."

We eat in complete silence, only hearing Harper coo to herself. As I finish I tell Christian that I'm going to put the baby to bed and go lay down.

"We will leave at 8:30 tomorrow." Christian tells me.

That's it? That's all he has to say? Couldn't he even ask me how my day was? I know Christian is uncomfortable with the idea of parenting, but I figured he was going to make an effort after he held her.

I'm thankful that Harper falls asleep almost right away. I take a quick shower, set my alarm, check the baby monitor, and climb in bed. I feel relief in my whole body as I settle in for the night. Usually I wait for my husband to come tire me out and cuddle me close, but that's not happening tonight. It occurs to me that this is the longest we have gone without sex since we started having it, and I realize that Christian has distanced himself from me in more ways than one. It would appear that not only do I have to raise Harper by myself, but my husband has taken a leave of absence.

I wonder how long I can manage everything on my own. I wonder if Christian realizes the space between us. I feel more tired just thinking those things. I lay my head down on my pillow after turning off my bedside light. I think I may fall asleep before my eyes even get a chance to close.