Marvellous G : Well, I'm updatin' again, and I hope you enjoy the ultimate in battles between good and evil : my intelligence versus Microsoft Word's spellchecker. Hmm... It won... But anyway, I hope you enjoy this chap. And please review, 'cause I've got tons of hits, yet not as many reviews. And to Rachel A, I probably will actually use that line. Kudos to you! And thanks to all my other reviewers!
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Chapter Twelve : Cake VS The Cat-Man Unit
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After a night of staring at Eva (or, more specifically, Eva's body parts...), Cake felt happy as he was just about to drift off into sleepy land. But, there was another interruption to come from his surprisingly attractive informant.
"Hey, Cake, think fast!" she yelled, and chucked a package at our hero. Cake thought relatively fast for somebody who was more than half asleep. Although, t'was not fast enough. The package hit him right in the face, the pistol inside bruising his chin.
"Ye-owch! Dammit, what was that for?" Cake asked sorely, rubbing his chin.
"You didn't think fast enough, did you?" Eva leered nastily. Cake grumbled under his breath, saying things unprintable in a T-rated fanfic.
"Anyway," Eva continued purposefully. "In that bag is a scientist disguise so you can sneak into a random lab. It's called Geeky Dorky, and Molotov should be in there."
"How apt a name for a place full of geeks and dorks..." Cake mused.
"This is true..." Eva agreed. "But we must digress, as I sense a Boss Battle is approaching. There's an M1911A1 pistol in there, complete with ineffective silencer, and I think there's some sweets and crisps too."
"Awe-SOME!" Cake yelled, and dived into the bag face-first. Eva looked on in disgust, but turned away quickly and walked out of the room. Unbeknownst to Cake, she was preparing a radio, but that is all I shall tell as of now so as to make you suspicious of our hero's attractive friend's motives... When she came back in, she saw Cake scraping at the rubber of his new pistol's handle with a knife.
"Uhhh... What the hell are you doing?" She asked bluntly. Cake looked up for a second, before looking back at the gun again and continuing with his odd work.
"In some battle situations, a knife is more useful than a knife," he began, before being interrupted by Eva.
"Does not!" She scoffed.
"Does too!" Cake retorted.
"Does not!"
"Does too!"
"Does not!"
"Does- AARRGHH! It does, okay, can you just listen?" Cake asked exasperatedly.
"Fine..." Eva muttered bitterly, before Cake began talking again.
"So, doing this to my gun somehow enables me to switch between a gun and a knife quicker than I normally would be able to."
"How?" Eva asked.
"I dunno, T3h L33t told me to do this in Really-Close-Fighting lessons."
"Umm... Great?" Eva grinned unsurely. A few minutes later, Cake fell asleep, his work for the night done. Eva sighed, and slumped to the floor, looking bored again.
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Cake woke up with a start, and looked at his uninvented watch.
"Ahhh... Rolex, I love you!" he cried gleefully, and began kissing the unnesseccarily flashy watch. At that moment, Eva walked in, a look of urgency, strangely crossed with boredom, spreading across her face.
"I'm bored by this whole thing, but I'm also worried!" she declared hurriedly.
"Hmmm?" Cake asked dopily, rising from his beloved watch.
"The Cat-Man Unit are here, Major Cat-Man himself with them!"
"GASP!"
"And what's more, there are loads of them out there!"
"MORE GASP!"
"So, we need to defeat them and escape."
"That's right!" Cake agreed bravely.
"And I need to get away before Cat-Man recognises me," Eva said happily.
"Right again!" Cake grinned dumbly.
"So, you can do it all on your own, right?" Eva asked hopefully.
"Right! Wait, NO!" Our hero wailed. "How many are there?"
"Oooh... I dunno..." Eva peeked out of the window to check. "About eight?"
"Oh, that's okay then. I thought this bit was on Extreme difficulty." He sighed, relieved at his discovery.
"Oh, damn! There would be, like, ten of them in Extreme! No, I wouldn't expect you to do that," Eva said, shocked. And also (more disturbingly), not being sarcastic.
"So, seeing as we've got that cleared up, you should be going," Cake sighed.
"Right!" This time it was Eva's turn to agree mindlessly. "Help me lift this bed out of the way, there's a trap door underneath."
"No! I'm fighting the Cat-Men, you can do that!" Cake scoffed indignantly.
"Fine..." Eva sighed, and shoved the bed noisily across the floor to reveal, yes, a trapdoor. The two clambered in, and Eva gave Cake a quick kiss on the cheek.
"Don't go dying on me now," she said softly, before crawling off to God-knows where. Cake looked puzzled at her sudden dissappearance, but recovered quickly and looked throught the small grate in the wall. There were ten of them, he was playing on extreme.
"That lying..." He grumbled, before shooting two of the Cat-Men in the knees with his Mk22 tranq pistol. They grunted stupidly, and leaned down to inspect the dart in their knees, before tripping over themselves and falling over. Just as they had pulled themselves up, thetranquiliser dart took effect, and they fell to the ground again.
"Heh-heh... Idiots..." Cake grinned, and activated his Sonar. The long fight had begun...
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Cake heard the Cat-Men break down the door with a shotgun blast above him. He heard the stun grenade go off, but then he didn't hear anything for a few seconds as the actual 'stunning' took effect. On his ears. But then he heard them searching the room, and leaving the room and searching the room again a few seconds later. But the point of this is, he didn't hear the Cat-Man crawl under the building like him. And the Cat-Man didn't hear Cake, either. They both crawled backwards towards the same spot, and their movement ended with an inevitable collision that neither man had been expecting. They both screamed loudly, and flailed their arms around in the air wildly for a few seconds. But Cake was the first to recover, and he quickly fired off about ten M1911A1 shots into the man's face. Although the shots were silenced (albeit ineffectively), Cake still heard the dreaded static on the dead man's radio, followed by a dopy guard's voice saying,
"Joe, are you okay? We heard screaming, 'n' stuff…" Cake's eyes widened in terror, but then his team of Brain-Men had another idea, and he leaned over to 'Joe's' mouthpiece.
"Uhhh… I'm fine…" Cake said uneasily.
"But your voice has, like, changed…" Came the incompetent soldier's reply.
"Ummm… No it hasn't?" Cake tried.
"Oh, well that's okay then. Good luck with the Cake-hunt!" The soldier on the other end replied cheerfully.
"Uhhh… Yeah…" Cake responded, wondering how many elipses had been used in this conversation. (Just so you know, there were seven.)
"Okay, bye then…" More static, and at last silence. (Now eight.) Cake stayed in that position for a while, but eventually got bored of waiting for the beeping white dots on his sonar to figure out that he wasn't in that original room. He charged out of his hiding place (under the building) and let rip with several clips of semi-automatic M1911A1 fire, hoping to hit something or someone…
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Marvellous G : So, will Cake survive? Through some unorthodox method, I think we all know he will! I hope you enjoyed this chap, and, yet again, please review! Peace out!
